Don't Forget Me

by Victoria Stevens

  “Hey. That’s a pretty good idea.”

  Luca cocked an eyebrow, amused, and Hazel bit back her smile, glad that the awkwardness had passed. “Maddie’s making mine,” she said. “Apparently it’s going to blow your minds.”

  “What is it?” Luca asked.

  “No idea. She won’t tell me until Friday.”

  “You know what?” Red said. “Maybe rabbit isn’t such a bad idea. I can do the whole sexy-bunny thing.”

  “Now that I’d love to see.” Luca smirked.

  “I’ll need to borrow your fishnets, then,” he hit back. Hazel burst out laughing, and Luca just glowered at him across the room. Hazel could tell Red didn’t mind, though. He was probably glad they weren’t arguing.

  It was a really weird experience, actually, seeing Luca and Red talking so amicably. And that was weird in itself, Hazel thought, because they were twins, so acting like they were friends should be second nature to them, and it wasn’t. Or, at least, it hadn’t been. It was weird too that this was the first time Hazel had seen Luca start to let his guard down the same way he did with her on the track. Surely he should be more comfortable around his own brother than around her?

  When it got to half past nine, Hazel decided to head back to Graham’s—she had homework to finish, and she knew if she stayed Red would talk her into watching a movie, and then she’d never get it done. She said goodbye to the twins and thank you to Claire, and let herself out the door.

  She was halfway down the path when she heard footsteps following behind her. “Miss me already?” she teased.

  “It’s … It’s not him. It’s me.”

  Hazel spun around, coming face-to-face with Luca. “Hey!” she said. “What are you doing out here?”

  “I just … I heard you saying to Hunter and Maddie that you were having some trouble in Math?” he said, hesitant.

  “It’s nothing,” she said, although she was—she’d flunked the last test, and now her teacher was talking about moving her into the class in the grade below unless she showed improvement.

  “Well, I was just going to say that I could talk you through a few topics, but if you’re not worried about failing, then obviously—”

  “You’d tutor me?” she said, dazed. Because this was Luca, the same boy who could barely even look her in the eyes a couple of months ago, and now here he was, offering his assistance.

  He looked embarrassed. “Well, yeah. If you needed help.”

  “Seriously?”

  He looked at her like she was the one acting strangely. “I mean, I’m no genius like Maddie or anything, but I understand it well enough.”

  She still couldn’t quite get her head around it. “But why would you want to help?”

  “Because you’re helping me?” he said. “Is it really so unbelievable?”

  “Just surprising, that’s all.”

  “So what do you say?”

  She considered it for all of two seconds and then broke into a smile. “Okay. That would be great. If you really don’t mind.”

  “I don’t mind,” he assured her. “We can go over it after we train tomorrow and see what you need help with.”

  “Awesome. I’ll see you at school then?”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  When he made no move to go back into the house, Hazel said, “Did you want something else?”

  “No,” he said, flushing pink. “Well, not exactly. I just wanted to … I want you to know that I’ve figured it out.”

  She frowned. “Figured what out?”

  “The truth. About your mum.”

  “My mum?” Hazel echoed.

  “She’s dead, right?” he said.

  What? The words barely registered; they didn’t make sense.

  “We don’t have to talk about it,” Luca said hastily. “I just wanted you to know that I know.”

  Nobody had mentioned her mum since that bus journey when Maddie had asked about her, and Hazel had been happy to let everyone draw their own conclusions about what had happened in England so she didn’t have to think about it—but this? This hadn’t been her intention.

  “But Luca, what made you—”

  “I asked Redleigh about it, and he said that she wasn’t around anymore.”

  “He said that?”

  “That’s all he’d tell me—that, and that I should talk to you about it and not him because you’d asked him not to tell anyone. But that’s the reason you’re staying here with your dad for a while, right? Because she died? You never talk about her. Ever. Which means it hurts to talk about her, which is … I get that. Look, I’m not … I’m not trying to push you or anything. I just wanted you to know that I know, and I’m … well. I’m here if you need me. To talk to, or whatever. Because I…”

  “Because you what?” she said, throat tight.

  He didn’t say anything for a long time, the silence stretching out between them. Hazel’s mind kept replaying his words over and over again, a constant loop of She’s dead she’s dead she’s dead.

  “I … I just know what you’re going through,” he said eventually.

  No mention of Ryan. Nothing. He really didn’t remember telling her about him, did he? Luca clamped his mouth shut as if he knew he’d already said too much.

  They fell back into silence. Then he raised a hand in farewell and made his way up the path toward his house. Hazel stood for a moment, frozen in the darkness. How was she going to fix this? How could she tell him the truth now without destroying their tentative friendship? Without destroying everything?

  She felt completely numb inside. It was crazy, wasn’t it? How the second you felt things might actually be starting to come together, you realized that they were still falling apart.

  * * *

  Relief flooded through Hazel when she heard the sound of Graham’s car pulling into the driveway just before ten o’clock. There was something comforting about knowing she wasn’t alone in the house anymore. On the walk home, she kept thinking about talking to Red, but she hadn’t called him. She knew he’d be angry that she hadn’t set Luca straight and wouldn’t understand that she didn’t know how, that she was too afraid of Luca’s reaction.

  A few minutes later, Graham knocked on her door.

  “Come in,” she called.

  “Hey,” he said. “Just wanted to let you know I’m back.”

  “How was work?”

  He gave her a weary smile and ran a hand through his hair. “Long. Tiring … But it was good, I suppose. We didn’t get any complaints, which is always a bonus.”

  “You should take a vacation sometime,” she suggested. “You look exhausted.”

  “Trust me, vacations create more problems than they solve. The restaurant turns into chaos when I’m not there. How was your night, anyway? Did you go over to the Cawleys’?”

  “I did. The four of us ate dinner together.”

  “The four of you?” he echoed in surprise.

  “That’s pretty much how we reacted too.”

  “Interesting,” he murmured. “But you had a good time?”

  “The best.”

  “Well, I’m glad. I’ll let you get to sleep then. Night, Hazel.”

  “Good night.”

  He gave her a little wave and then closed the door. She was burrowing down underneath her sheets ready to close her eyes and forget about her day when the door swung open again.

  “I almost forgot,” Graham said. “I picked these up at the store earlier. I meant to do this sooner, but it just slipped my mind.”

  He handed her a wad of glossy brochures, which she took warily.

  “I don’t know how you want to do it. You could have a feature wall, or two walls one color and the other two another, or you can have all one color, or we can find some stencils and use those…” He trailed off, surveying the room. “Once you’ve chosen the color we can get new curtains and bedding and everything else. How does that sound?”

  Hazel looked at him, and then back down at the brochures.
He wanted her to decorate the room, wanted her to choose a color and make it her own.

  “Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be here long enough to make this worthwhile.”

  She held the brochures back out to him, and his face fell. “Oh. Well, I just thought it would be a bit of fun, but if you don’t want to, then it’s fine.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to,” she started, but realized that was a lie. It was because she didn’t want to—but not because she didn’t want to spend time with Graham, which she was sure was what he suspected. It was because if she painted the room, then it would start to feel more like a home than it was already starting to, and she couldn’t have that. And even if she came back for visits after she left, this still wouldn’t be her home. England and her mum were home. Graham might be her dad, but that didn’t make him family.

  “It’s just—” she tried again.

  “Just what?”

  “I thought they’d have called by now.”

  “Oh, Hazel,” he said. “I don’t know if you should count on that.”

  Hazel didn’t answer. She had to count on it. It wasn’t a choice—she had to believe that this was temporary and that one day she’d be back where she belonged.

  Graham didn’t take the brochures from her. “You keep them, okay? Have a look if you want. If you change your mind, just let me know.”

  Hazel nodded and lowered her arm. She could do that much. He paused in the doorway to look back at her. His expression was impassive, but she could read the sadness in his green eyes. Was he sad for her, or sad for himself?

  “It’s never too late, you know,” he told her.

  “Never too late for what?”

  “To start over,” Graham said gently, and shut the door behind him.

  Dear Mum,

  I remember the time we went to the park to build a snowman. You spent forever showing me how to make it, and when we were done, we had the biggest and best snowman in the whole place. Everyone envied us, and I felt so proud of what we’d created together. We didn’t have any coal, so you gave him coins for eyes.

  I loved that winter.

  I miss you, Mum, but I remember.

  Love,

  Hazel

  20

  On Friday night, everyone went to the Anchor again to eat before Sienna’s party. Hazel couldn’t help but think, as they sat around the same table overlooking the sea, that it was the kind of tradition she could get used to. This time the boys went to Hunter’s house after dinner, while Hazel and Maddie went to change into their costumes at Maddie’s again. They would all meet at the end of Sienna’s driveway at eight o’clock.

  Maddie had Hazel sit at her dressing table so that she could curl her hair. As she did, she commented on what a good mood Luca had seemed to be in at dinner.

  “I hadn’t really noticed,” Hazel admitted, because he’d just seemed normal—albeit a little more talkative than the last time they went out.

  “Well, I can’t believe he’s voluntarily coming to a party,” Maddie said. “We’ve been trying to get him to come out with us since, like, February. I wonder what changed?”

  Hazel didn’t say anything. She knew that Luca was becoming a little more relaxed and open with every training session that they spent on the track together, but she was glad that she wasn’t the only one who could see the difference in him. That meant that he was doing better off the track too.

  “The two of you seem to be getting along better now, anyway,” Maddie went on, moving to the next section of Hazel’s hair. “Hunter said that Luca’s been helping you with some Math topics?”

  “He has,” Hazel said. “He’s a surprisingly good tutor.”

  Maddie laughed. “Really?”

  “Really. Very patient.”

  “Huh,” she said. “Guess there’s a lot we don’t know about him yet.”

  Hazel knew that was true, just like she knew that she was looking forward to getting to know him better. Every time she learned something new about him, it felt like she was one step closer to understanding the kind of person he’d been back in Sydney. Before Ryan.

  * * *

  By some miracle, despite how long it took them to get ready, they managed to arrive at Sienna’s on time. Hazel was dressed in a white knee-length tunic trimmed with gold, and she had gold bangles up both arms. Maddie had pinned Hazel’s hair up at the back, leaving only a few tendrils hanging down beside her face, and the whole look was finished off with a wreath of gold leaves on her head. Maddie was dressed as Marilyn Monroe and looked stunning in her white dress and bright red lipstick.

  “Wow, girls.” Hunter whistled as they climbed out of their taxi. “You look amazing.”

  Hazel took in his round glasses, jagged lightning scar, and striped tie, and let out a laugh. “So do you, Harry Potter!”

  “Let me see,” Red said, stepping forward to look her up and down. “Helen of Troy?”

  “How’d you guess?”

  “What can I say? You look like a goddess.”

  She giggled and pushed him away. “What are you supposed to be, anyway?”

  He spun around, showing off the blow-up guitar strapped to his back, and then tossed his head around so that his blond wig flew everywhere. “I’m a rock star! Can’t you tell?”

  “I see it now.” She grinned. “What’s with all the hair, though?”

  “That’s exactly what I said.” Luca snorted.

  Hazel looked past Red to get a glimpse of his brother. He was dressed in a yellow tank top, red swim shorts, and his usual flip-flops. He’d clearly gone with his original lifeguard idea; he was pulling it off too, his top showcasing his arms. His very tanned, very toned, very nice arms.

  His eyes met hers, and Hazel resisted the urge to look away. Ever since their conversation the other night, she’d felt guilty. She knew he’d found solace in what he thought was their common ground, and she was still struggling to find a way to let him know that he didn’t have the entire truth. She knew the longer she left it, the harder it would be to backtrack. She should speak to Red too, but she was still afraid of what he’d say.

  “All you’re missing is a whistle,” she said to him finally, pushing everything to the back of her mind. Maybe she wouldn’t have to say anything at all if she left in a few weeks.

  Luca shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out a silver whistle on a length of red string. “One step ahead,” he said as he hung it around his neck with a half smile.

  * * *

  Sienna’s house looked like something out of a movie. The bulk of the party was gathered outside in the back garden under a huge tent, which was filled with tables laden with snacks and mixers. At the bottom of the garden, there was a DJ and a dance floor, and there were fairy lights hung everywhere, so the entire garden was alight.

  “Oh my God,” Maddie breathed as they stepped from the house, and the others murmured in agreement, taking it all in. Hazel had never seen anything like it.

  “Take note, Hazel,” Red said. “This is what happens to girls whose parents have far too much money.”

  “Yeah, but it’s pretty awesome, though, huh?” Hunter said, handing Red a beer from the six-pack they’d brought with them from his dad’s house.

  “I guess.” Red frowned, opening the can and taking a long sip before passing it to Maddie. “I’ve always shared my birthday parties.”

  They all turned to look at Luca, who shrugged. “Sorry.”

  Red threw an arm around his brother’s shoulder and pulled him in tight. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he told him, and although he kept his voice light, none of them missed the sincerity behind his words. They stayed like that for a moment, together, and it was the first gesture of affection Hazel had seen shared between the two of them. It was strange to see—not just for Hazel, either, if Maddie’s and Hunter’s surprised expressions were anything to go by.

  * * *

  For a while, the five of them sat in Sienna’s garden talking, then the boy
s went off to find more drinks, and Hazel and Maddie waited for them on the bench, content to sit and watch the rest of the party unfold. It was a lovely night out, the temperature just right, the stars bright in the clear sky above them.

  “Wow.” Hazel whistled suddenly. “That girl looks really into Hunter.”

  Maddie followed her gaze to where the boys were standing at the edge of the tent; there was a tall, willowy brunette with her hand on Hunter’s arm, her head thrown back in laughter. Maddie didn’t say anything, focusing instead on the label on her can.

  “You think he likes her?” Hazel said.

  “No idea.”

  “Aren’t you curious?”

  Maddie raised her head. “It doesn’t really have anything to do with me, does it? He’s a big boy.”

  Hazel frowned. She wondered if Maddie was just tired of people making assumptions about the nature of her and Hunter’s friendship, or whether there was something else about it that bothered her.

  “Hey,” she said eventually, “you and Hunter, you never … You haven’t … Have you?”

  “No!” Maddie said. “God. No.”

  “No?”

  “Hazel, he’s my best friend,” she said. “Gross. It’d be like you and Red. If he was straight, obviously.”

  Hazel said nothing, because in a way Maddie was right. Even if Red wasn’t gay, he wouldn’t be her type. They were just too similar; he felt more like a sibling than a friend. She didn’t see that in Maddie and Hunter, though. Anyone with eyes could see how much they cared about each other.

  Maddie finally cracked a smile, shaking her head. “Look, I don’t know what I’d do without him, so I can’t … I couldn’t risk it, you know? I can’t even think about it because there’s no point. I wouldn’t give up what we already have for the world.”

  “So you’ve never wanted to try anything?”

  “No!” she said again, a little too quickly. “Never. I mean, it’s Hunter. I don’t even know if he’s boyfriend material. It would probably be super weird, like kissing a cousin or something.”

  “Gross!” Red said, appearing beside them. Hazel and Maddie turned in unison to see him and Hunter standing there with an armful of beers.