‘It’s usually Sister Francis. Surely we can think up something to distract her for a minute or so,’ Bridget said.
We heard footsteps.
‘Shhh! Someone’s coming! Let’s get out of here, Loretta.’ And then they were gone, leaving me to dream of life beyond the walls, far, far away from Sister Thomas.
When the bell rang the next morning, I felt awful. My head throbbed, my back was stiff, and my knees ached more than ever. Somehow I managed to get through prayers without crying. As I washed and dressed for Mass, I kept reminding myself that I had to be OK today so that we could continue planning our escape. We’d be out on Friday, I was sure of it. I visualised the three of us, dressed as nuns, walking straight out of the back gate. It didn’t occur to me that we wouldn’t be convincing nuns. I thought that no one would know the difference if we were dressed in flowing habits.
‘Come on, Reilly, get a move on,’ shouted Sister Thomas.
With a start, I realised that everyone else was lined up for Mass. I jumped into line, and we proceeded silently to chapel. That morning I paid a lot of attention to how the nuns wore their habits. I scrutinised their veils and tried to work out how they put them on. Some of them seemed to notice me staring, and I looked quickly away, worried they might somehow guess our plan.
It was hard to keep my mind on Mass or anything else that morning. All I could think about was getting away from the convent forever. I was definitely ready to take my chances outside on the streets. Anything was better than this – and if I didn’t leave soon, then I might die here. I couldn’t wait to see Loretta and Bridget again so that we could come up with a really good plan of action. As the morning moved on and I imagined my new life, I became incredibly excited. By morning recreation, I could hardly contain myself.
‘When are we going to run away, Loretta?’
‘We could go this morning,’ she said. ‘If we had the clothes.’
‘I could get them later on,’ said Bridget. ‘And there are a few more girls who want to go, so there will be about eight of us.’
Loretta gaped at her. ‘What do you mean, eight? Eight is too many. We’ll be noticed.’
Bridget seemed unconcerned. ‘I just told a few girls who were up for it that they could come with us. They told some more girls, and now there’s eight of us.’
We stared at her in disbelief.
‘Can you get eight sets of nuns’ clothes, then?’ I asked.
‘No problem, I’m on nuns’ laundry duty today.’
She sounded so confident that we forgot about numbers and concentrated on getting the rest of the plan together. After some discussion we agreed that if Bridget could get the clothes, we’d go that evening. Loretta would get someone to distract the nun on duty, and we’d slip out of the back gate together.
I hoped with all my heart that Bridget would get the outfits we needed. I had to get out, I had to. Suddenly, Sinéad flashed into my mind. The thought of leaving her behind made me sad, but Loretta and I had to escape first, and then we could think about how to get Sinéad out later. I was sure she’d understand, but I had to try to talk to her before we left.
It was going to be difficult because she’d been quarantined with suspected mumps and wasn’t allowed any visitors. I crept up the stairs to the infirmary and sneaked in through the door. Luckily, the nun on duty had her back to me, so I slipped into the next room, searching for Sinéad. I found her in a bed by the window. I really hoped she wouldn’t be too upset at my news because her tears might be enough to put me off going.
She smiled when she saw me. There was still a close bond between us, despite the very limited time we spent together.
‘How are ye?’ I asked, hugging her. She certainly didn’t look too ill.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, returning the hug and was clearly very pleased to see me.
I listened to her news, then I told her about our escape plan and how we’d be back for her.
‘We’re not going to forget about ye,’ I said.
She didn’t seem the least bit upset. In fact, she seemed pleased that we were trying to escape, proud even, and didn’t think for one minute that we were going to forget about her.
‘Good luck,’ she said.
I was surprised and relieved by her reaction. We had a final hug, and as I crept away, unseen, I looked back and saw a big grin on her face.
I tried to hold this image of Sinéad in my head but felt so emotional about saying goodbye that tears started to fill my eyes. However, this was no time to be weak. I turned away from the door and rushed back to join the others before the bell sounded for the end of recreation.
I was glad the visit had gone well. At least now it wouldn’t come as a shock when she heard that her sisters had run away. I was sure that once Loretta and I found our mammy, we’d tell her what the convent was like and she’d come back for Sinéad.
I was so nervous and excited that I was finding it really hard to act as if nothing was going on. I had to be vigilant, though. Too much was at stake now to make any slips. It was crucial that the nuns didn’t get suspicious, or they would start watching us very closely.
I could almost taste freedom. No more beatings or disgusting convent food and no more Sister Thomas. I imagined myself waking up under a tree in a park feeling absolutely free, and that’s what kept me going.
Later, as we left the chapel and headed towards the refectory for tea, Bridget whispered, ‘I’ve got them, Frances! Meet me in the toilets in a few minutes’ time.’
I was careful to keep my head facing forward and carried on marching as if nothing had happened. When we arrived at the refectory, I asked Sister Kevin if I could be excused to go to the toilet.
‘Yes, Reilly, but be quick about it,’ she said abruptly. She appeared to be in a foul mood, but I wasn’t going to let that bother me, not today, and I rushed off to the toilets.
Bridget was waiting for me. ‘I’ve got them!’ she said again.
‘We’re getting out!’ I hugged her, jumped up and down and ran around in circles. I couldn’t help it. I’d never been so excited. ‘We’re getting out of here! We’re getting out of here!’ I kept repeating.
Loretta rushed in and warned us to be quiet, as we could be heard all the way down the hall. ‘How many have you got?’ she asked.
‘Enough for seven of us – that’s all I could get.’
‘So we’ll just have to tell someone they’re not going. It can’t be helped.’
‘Who won’t be going?’ I asked.
‘We’ll have to think about that. But for now, get back to the refectory before Sister Kevin wonders what you’re up to.’
‘You took your time, Reilly. Now say grace and get seated.’
Sister Kevin’s mood hadn’t improved. I quickly found my chair, blessed myself and started to pray over my food, thanking God for the horrible slop I had to eat.
‘What is it with you Reillys?’ I heard Sister Kevin say. Thinking she was talking to me, I turned and saw Loretta and Bridget walking into the refectory together. Bridget apologised and explained that they’d been late getting off laundry duty. When they were seated, they winked and smiled over at me, looking very pleased with themselves. I assumed they’d come up with a plan and hoped we were going after tea. I was desperate to see the other side of the wall.
After tea, Sister Kevin sent us to the hall for Irish dancing practice. Normally I would have been happy to go, but I knew that there would be a head count to make sure everyone was present, and that meant we’d have to delay our escape. Sister Thomas counted us in and walked over to the stage, where there was an old record player and a small pile of records. She took an ancient LP from its cover, placed it on the turntable and lowered the needle. A long, loud crackle was followed by the sound of Irish music.
‘Pick a partner for the two-handed reel,’ she told us.
‘You can be my partner,’ Loretta said, taking my hand.
I was delighted, not only because I needed an excus
e to talk to Loretta but also because it meant I wouldn’t be stuck with someone without any timing. Loretta and I were good dancers, but some girls never got the hang of it and could make even the best partner look bad. Then you’d both be in trouble with the nuns. Sister Thomas paired off the stragglers, returned to the stage and set the needle back to the beginning of the record.
‘Toes pointed and begin,’ she said.
While we danced, she watched us carefully for mistakes, and although she couldn’t find anything wrong with our technique, we had to be on our guard. Fortunately, she started picking on other girls, but all the same, it would have been too dangerous to talk about our plan just then.
We finally managed to catch up with each other in the dormitory. All the girls involved were gathered around my bed, which worried me because a nun might appear from nowhere and guess what we were scheming. We kept our voices to a low whisper. With only seven sets of clothing, one of us was going to have to stay behind, but no one volunteered. We were all desperate to leave.
‘Well,’ Loretta said, breaking the silence. ‘Frances, Bridget and I are definitely going, so it’s got to be one of the rest of yous.’
But still no one offered to stay.
‘Bernadette is getting out soon, anyway,’ I said tentatively. ‘And the nuns don’t pick on her as much as the rest of us, so perhaps she should stay.’
Bernadette couldn’t really argue. She didn’t seem to get things as bad as the rest of us, even if she did hate the convent just as much, and her family were taking her back home in a few months’ time.
‘All right, then,’ she conceded. ‘If it’s got to be me, is there anything I can do to help the rest of yous get out?’
‘We need a distraction,’ Loretta said. ‘It needs to be good, or we won’t have time to get away.’
‘I can do that. When are yous going?’
‘Tomorrow morning,’ Loretta said, apparently deep in thought. ‘We’ll just take a chance and go when it feels right.’
It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was better than nothing. Sister Thomas came into the dormitory and we scattered to get ready for bed.
I was the first one out of bed when the bell sounded for morning prayers. I’d been awake most of the night, anxiously trying to hold down my excitement. I watched the other girls stirring at the sound of that awful clanging bell. Maybe today I would be free. The cold floor didn’t bother me today, nor did the fact that I was really tired. I just wanted to get on with the morning as quickly as possible.
Sister Thomas started the prayers, even though Rita was still getting out of bed. She was nearly always last. Normally, prayers wouldn’t start until everyone was kneeling on the floor, but this morning Sister Thomas’s mind seemed to be elsewhere. She rushed us through prayers and dashed out of the room, leaving us to get ready for Mass. The atmosphere in the dormitory was much nicer in her absence, and I took a moment to breathe it in before getting ready. I had a feeling that this was the start of a really good day.
We were ready with about five minutes to spare before Mass. Sister Thomas hadn’t returned, and people were wondering whether something had happened. I wasn’t bothered, though. Nothing was more important than escaping, and it was convenient that she wasn’t around.
When the bell sounded, we got into line and walked in single file to the chapel. Sister Thomas appeared on the stairs, looking flustered. She did a head count as we passed and then followed us inside. I prayed really hard that we’d manage to get away. As I took one last look around the chapel, my stomach bubbled and I felt a bit sick. It was a familiar sensation, the one I always experienced when there was a chance of getting into trouble.
At breakfast Bridget and Loretta told me we’d be going as soon as we could. The nuns’ clothes were in Loretta’s hall locker, next to the toilets, and we were going to have to try to get there at roughly the same time.
‘What about right now? We could do it now if we had a good distraction,’ I said, not wanting to wait another minute.
A message was relayed in whispers from one girl to another until it reached Bernadette. We needed a distraction straight away. A couple of minutes later Bernadette looked across at me and nodded her head.
‘She’s going to do it, Loretta,’ I said nervously. I could feel myself trembling with anticipation. Just then a fight started at Bernadette’s table, drawing in the duty nun and a crowd of girls. Now was our chance. We stood up and slipped away to the hall.
Loretta opened her locker, and we started pulling at the clothes.
‘I’m the smallest,’ I reminded the others, examining them for size.
Bridget took charge and allocated the disguises. This caused a bit of whingeing, but there wasn’t time to waste. Bernadette’s distraction was working a treat, and the noise of fighting in the refectory was increasing by the minute. It sounded like everyone was joining in. We fumbled with the clothes, trying to get them to fit. Mine completely drowned me. The veil practically reached my hips and I had to double up the skirt and tuck it into my waist so that I didn’t trip up.
‘We’re going to have to be quicker!’ Loretta said. ‘Try helping each other to get them to look right.’ Soon we were as ready as we were ever going to be.
It was pretty funny to see each other in habits, and some of us started mimicking the nuns. Bridget pretended to be Sister Thomas. She was very good, and we guessed straight away who she was trying to be, but then I started to get annoyed.
‘There will be plenty of time to muck about once we’re out of here,’ I said.
I opened the door, just a crack. I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear the commotion going on in the refectory. I opened the door a bit more. The coast was clear.
‘Come on, let’s go.’
We left in single file and made it all the way to the changing rooms without being seen. This was a good place to stop and check out the back gate. To our surprise, we found Bernadette waiting with the key.
‘How did you manage that? I thought you were in a fight,’ Loretta said.
‘Not me, I just told the girls on my table that some other girls were saying nasty things about them, but that they weren’t to say that I’d told them. That did the trick, and yous got your distraction.’
‘How did ye get your hands on that?’ I said, pointing to the key.
‘Don’t ask; it wasn’t easy. Come on, you have to go now.’
We walked calmly to the back gate. Bernadette opened it as quickly as she could.
‘Good luck,’ she said, hurrying to close it again before anyone saw.
At last we were on the other side of the wall. We stood on the pavement watching cars go past in amazement – finally, the real world, the world outside, freedom. We started hugging each other with glee, but then I noticed that we were being stared at by passing motorists.
‘Come on, people are looking. We have to behave like nuns, or someone will call the cops.’
We lowered our eyes, clasped our hands together and bustled along the pavement, doing our best nun impersonations. Five minutes later we came to Ormeau Park, where a crowd of people were gathered at the gates. The moment they saw us they started to laugh, and I felt my face grow hot and flushed. For the first time it occurred to me that maybe we weren’t very convincing nuns. In fact, going by the reaction of the people outside the park, we probably looked ridiculous.
‘Let’s go through the park,’ I said.
I wanted to get away from the main road. Hopefully, there would be fewer people in the park at that time of the morning. The others agreed that we might draw less attention there, and we walked past the laughing crowd and through the gates. I distinctly heard a man say, ‘They’re probably on the run from the orphanage up the road.’
It was quiet in the park. We found some trees and bushes to hide behind and sat down to talk.
Loretta said that we shouldn’t stay long, because the people at the gate would probably tell the police. ‘This will be the first place they’
ll look.’
‘Wouldn’t we be better hiding here until it gets dark?’ Bridget said. ‘It’ll be easier to move on without being seen at night.’
It was hard to know what to do. I said that I thought Loretta was probably right and we should get out of the park. I trusted her instincts and didn’t want to sit around all day, waiting to get caught. We were outside the walls but still dangerously close to the convent.
We went on trying to weigh up our chances. Around twenty minutes had passed since we’d stepped out of the front gate and it struck me that by now Sister Thomas and the other nuns would have noticed our absence. I hoped that Bernadette hadn’t got into any trouble for helping us. A chill went through me at the thought of the punishment we’d face if we were taken back to the convent. The others went on arguing about whether to stay in the park or move on.
‘Let’s take a vote on it,’ I said, trying to move things along. Everyone except Bridget voted to leave the park.
‘I’m not sure about our clothes,’ I said. ‘We look really stupid. Let’s get rid of the veils so that it just looks like we’re wearing long, black dresses.’
We took off our headwear, and I shook out my hair with relief. How could the nuns bear to be confined by their veils all the time? I’d heard rumours that their heads were shaved when they became novices. Gathering up the discarded veils, I hid them in a nearby bin.
‘Come on, now,’ Loretta said. ‘Let’s get away from the park before the police turn up. You can come with us if you want, Bridget, or you can take your chances staying here.’
‘OK, then, I’ll come with you.’
She still sounded unsure, so we set off before she changed her mind. We passed a few people out walking their dogs and said good morning to them. They smiled and said good morning back, which made us feel a lot more confident. Soon we were walking briskly down the Ormeau Road, trying to appear like we were going about our daily business while keeping a good lookout for policemen.
‘I can’t believe we’re doing this, Loretta,’ I said. ‘Sister Thomas will know we’ve gone by now, and she’ll be going nuts. I bet she’d love to get her hands on us right now.’
Suffer The Little Children Page 15