Here to Stay

by Adriana Herrera

  As if she could read my mind, Muffy lifted up her hands, palms out, like she wanted to absolve me from whatever guilt I had about what happened next.

  “We’re not here to do a last-minute plea for you to go against the IPO. We know that you need to be neutral.” That last part came out with just a bit of cynicism. They probably had an inkling of the pressure Phil and Duke were putting on me.

  They were such decent and classy women. Truly an anomaly—people who were willing to put their money where their mouth was. I wish I could just tell them how I felt, how much I respected them, how much I hated that they were fighting to keep their company whole, and I was the chess piece their brother was trying to use to take that from them.

  “Thank you.” I sighed. “There’s not much I can say at this point, other than it’s been a pleasure getting to know you over the past few months. I didn’t know there were companies left out there with this much heart.”

  Mitzy, who was the more expressive one of the two, sniffed and gave me a rueful look. “Don’t make me ruin my makeup before I have to go and stare down those bastards on the board.” Her Southern twang was just a bit more pronounced when she was emotional.

  I smiled and tried once again to look like I wasn’t dying inside. “I would never.”

  Muffy leaned in, getting closer to my desk and put a hand over mine. The human contact rocked me. “It’s been our pleasure too. Even with you being the enemy and all, we have enjoyed working with you. At least we know that if this thing goes forward, it’s because you agree it’s what’s best.”

  The trust with which she looked at me was unbearable. I almost closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see hers. I wanted to step up for these women, for their company and the legacy they so proudly held up. For the work Julia and her staff did with their help.

  “Thanks,” I said, and I meant it.

  After a moment, Muffy stood up and started smoothing down her gray slacks and jacket, which matched Mitzy’s gray sheath almost exactly. “We’ll see you in there,” she whispered as they turned to walk out of the office. They barely acknowledged Phil as they passed him on his way in.

  He sneered over his shoulder. “Was that one last attempt at a grovel?”

  I really wished I could just smack that smile off him.

  “No.” Because they’re fucking professionals, not a low-down sneaky fucker like you.

  He clapped his hands and still flashed a smile in my direction, but those eyes were cold as ice.

  “Not that it matters. The numbers look good for us.”

  I assented, “They do.” I had nothing more to say to Phil.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Rocco

  I knew the names of the board members and had even read some of their bios, but none of that prepared me for walking into that room. I was aware there was dissent within—some in favor of the IPO, some set against it, and others on the fence—but you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I looked around, trying to put faces to names, and I stopped when I got to the youngest person in the room. Duke Sturm was one smug son of a bitch. He gave me a long, appraising look as I took my seat, but after a moment turned his attention to the guy next to him. I would not presume to think the hired help would get acknowledgment from him.

  As the room filled, I worked on setting up my slides and started to feel the sweat pooling under my arms. I was nervous. I was fucking terrified.

  After a moment I heard the door of the room close and saw the twins stand up from their joint seats at the head of the table. There were multiple flat-screens along the walls of the room, three of them showing the faces of board members who could not be here in person.

  Sitting to the right of the twins was their mother, Consuelo, and to their left was Duke. The iciness in his expression as he looked up at his older sisters made my stomach clench. He really hated them.

  Mitzy began, “Thanks for your flexibility to do the meeting at an earlier time and on New Year’s Eve Eve.” Her face hardened then, and I could tell she was trying not to look in Duke’s direction. “However, due to a concerning incident that occurred in one of the programs...” Duke scoffed at the word “incident.” Asshole. “...we’ve been hearing that some of you want to make an early decision about where we’re going. You all know where Muffy and I stand on this.”

  She smiled in my direction. “We also trust that Mr. Quinn will give a thorough report on what an IPO would mean for us, if we decide that’s what we want for the future of Sturm’s.” I knew there was a lot more at stake than that. That Mitzy and Muffy would mostly likely step down as joint CEOs if Duke won, and he would be at the head of Sturm’s. Those two women were fighting for the soul of their company today.

  “It’s your floor.” She waved a hand in my direction and I stood up, facing the room, feeling like I was about to throw up.

  I brought up the first slide and was about to launch into my profits projections, then stopped. Usually I could get myself in a good headspace by giving my back to the room for a second and taking a couple of deep breaths. But every conversation I’d had over the last twenty-four hours was running in a loop in my head. Julia’s hurt accusation that I was trying to martyr myself. Sofia’s offer to support me, her plea to think about my own happiness. The twins’ calm trust in my doing the right thing. My head pounded and my chest tightened with every breath.

  “Good morning, everyone. I’m Rocco Quinn, the lead analyst from Davidson and Partners. I was hired to come to Sturm’s and gather information to figure out how beneficial it would be for the company to go public. It’s a pretty straightforward job and one that I’m pretty good at.” I got some laughs and that gave me the last push I needed.

  “This project has been probably the hardest and the best one I’ve been on to date. Sturm’s is an exceptional business, with a mission and values I wished were the standard for the corporate world.” I looked over at Muffy and her eyes were shining, and I kept going before I lost my nerve.

  “Before I begin my report, I just want to say that there is more to Sturm’s than a profit margin. This company is a success because from the day Henry Sturm opened the store, he had a purpose much greater than making money. He wanted to ‘help those in need and be a beacon on civility and justice.’ I was astonished to find out that Sturm’s was the only store in Texas who refused to deny service to people of color and was the first to have a black female general manager—in 1962. Henry Sturm and his son supported civil rights activists, and fiercely advocated for the 1965 immigration act to pass. The Sturm Foundation is the heart and soul of this company, and that is something worth saving.” That jab was for Phil, and I looked that fucker right in the eyes when I said it.

  I glanced over to Duke and he was glaring at me, his face blotched with anger, but I didn’t care. For the first time in twenty-four hours, I felt like I could breathe. “Sturm’s made a brand out of clothing those at the highest end of society, while serving the most vulnerable in the communities they do business in. Making Sturm’s leaner and cutting costs to attract investors will work for a successful IPO.” I lifted a hand to a bar graph on the screen. “It may even get you bought out by one of the luxury conglomerates, but it will irrevocably impact your brand and that also has a cost.”

  Phil was so red I was starting to worry about him stroking out sitting on that chair. But I would finish what I had to say. “I ask that in addition to the numbers I’m about to report, you consider that this company has always been about a lot more than a bottom line.”

  The faces around the room showed a range of emotions, but Mitzy, Muffy, and Consuelo were raptly looking at me, their backs straight. Proud.

  “Thank you for indulging my need to regale you with information that you probably knew already. Now I’ll get to my report.”

  I fired up the presentation, doing all I could to avoid looking at Phil or Duke. I’d said my piece and n
ow I had to do my job.

  * * *

  I walked out of the boardroom and went to my office knowing I’d probably talked myself out of a job. They would vote on whether the IPO would move forward or not, but regardless of the decision, I doubted that Duke and Phil would want me around after what I’d said. In the end I just didn’t know if it would be enough to save Julia’s job, and I’d almost certainly fucked up my own future at the firm.

  But I didn’t hate myself—well, at least not for this. The most important person in my life still thought I didn’t care about her.

  Thinking about Julia, my chest felt heavy. I didn’t want to go there, to think about her and how much I missed her. I couldn’t. She was free of me, and all the shit I came with.

  I sat at my desk and picked up my phone. There was a voicemail from Sofia and a few from the Exiles, probably to curse me out for what I did to Julia.

  I tapped on the screen to call my sister.

  “Hey, don’t worry. I didn’t sell my soul to the devil.”

  She laughed humorlessly, but sounded relieved. “Good. We can figure this out, Rocco. Now we just need to think about how to get Julia to forgive your ass for doing the most.”

  I cracked a smile, but I still felt hollow. The thought of Julia hating me made me sick to my stomach.

  I tried to find a way to change the subject. “Don’t worry about CPS. I’m sure at this point it’s more a formality. They had to see how good you are with her.”

  Sofia sighed, clearly not fully convinced. “Let’s hope so. This apartment is so small. I didn’t want to be at yours when they came, because that’s not our place. And, well, this one is really little.”

  I scoffed at that. “They know the rent prices in the city. They won’t bother you over that.” Sofia lived in a biggish one-bedroom in Rego Park that she’d converted into a two-bedroom with a lot of creativity. “Blue has a nice home where she gets lots of love and never feels scared. That’s all a little kid can ask for, and no one taught you that, Sofia, you had to learn that on your own.”

  “No, I learned it from you, Rocco.”

  It was like a stab in the gut, and immediately I wanted to reject her words. To tell her that I hadn’t done anything. That I hadn’t been there for her. But I had to start listening to the people in my life who wanted me to let them in. If my sister said I’d shown her love, why couldn’t I hear that?

  The next part felt like taking a leap from a building, but I said it. “Thanks for saying that, sis.” I closed my eyes, wishing I had the guts to do this with Julia, but I didn’t know if she’d ever want to see me again. “I have to go. I need to tie up some loose ends here.” Like probably getting fired.

  “Okay, but think about calling her, okay?”

  “I don’t think she wants to hear from me.”

  I ended the call before she could ask again. I knew she’d just keep calling until I told her what had happened. I went to the voicemail messages from the exiles. There was one from Tariq and a text from Dani.

  Dani: Dude Tariq just called saying José put out the bat signal. Are you all right?

  I thought they would be texting me to tell me I was an asshole for doing what I did. I never expected them to actually be worried about my feelings. It was Julia who needed support, not me.

  Rocco: I’ve been better. Do you know how Julia’s doing?

  I knew I was pushing it, but I couldn’t help myself. I held my breath as I saw the three dots jumping on the screen.

  Dani: Not good from what José said, man. What happened?

  I didn’t know where to begin. What could I even say? That I was a coward. That she was too good for me and I’d just end up dragging her into my family bullshit.

  Just as I was about to reply, the Twins rushed into my office, their faces thunderous.

  Muffy was the first one to speak. “Will what you did end up costing you your job?” Her voice was tense but her eyes were full of concern.

  I tried to smile, but I knew it was probably not working very well. “It needed to be said.”

  They both shook their heads and Mitzy kept looking over her shoulder.

  “They voted in favor of the IPO.”

  My vision blurred and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’d put my job on the line and lost Julia for nothing.

  “Well, then I guess they were happy with the report. What will happen with the foundation?”

  Mitzy shook her head, her face grim. “We’ll fight for the programs.” The relief was so intense at her words I felt light-headed. “It’s going to be nasty, and I have no idea what the future of Sturm’s is, but we will never forget what you tried to do. We know how much that cost you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me.”

  Muffy moved closer then and put her hand over my fisted one resting on the desk. “Yes we do. Don’t think we don’t know the pressure you’ve been under.” Just as she said that, Phil sauntered into the office. He stood behind the twins, without even looking at them. That shark smile in full force.

  “I just spoke with your boss. We won’t be needing you moving forward, Mr. Quinn. Please be out of this office by the end of the day.” He turned on his heel and left without another word.

  I stood up and started getting my shit in order while Mitzy and Muffy glared at Phil’s back.

  “You don’t need to rush out of here, Rocco.” Muffy’s voice was urgent and frustrated.

  Mitzy just shook her head.

  I lifted a shoulder, gathering the few things that were mine. “I don’t have much here. I’ll be done in a few minutes.” I took the security card out of my pocket and placed it on the desk. The sad thing was, I really didn’t have much. Just a few folders and my laptop. That was all I would walk away from here with. It felt wrong, when I’d found so much in this building.

  I looked up and tried to give the twins a genuine smile. “Thanks for everything, and I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

  “This was never on you. That was all my brother with his childish vendetta and that greedy asshole Phil.”

  Mitzy’s worried eyes landed on me again. “Will you be all right, Rocco?”

  Just as she said that, I saw an email notification flash on my phone screen.

  It was from Davidson and Partners and the subject had two words. “Termination Notice.”

  I picked it up and shoved it in my pocket without opening it. As I made my way around the desk, I gave each of them a warm, one-armed hug.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Julia

  “I can’t believe it. How is it possible?”

  I looked over at Salome and José, who were sitting on my couch, looking at me expectantly.

  From the other end of the line, Gail exhaled loudly. “I’m not sure how it happened, but I got an email late last night from the Sturm twins.” I flinched when I heard the name, thinking of Rocco and how much he liked the two older women. “They assured me all the programs they promised funding to would continue to get it, and for the foreseeable future.”

  I wished I could have felt glad, but all I seemed to be able to feel was misery. “That’s great. I can’t believe we will stay open even after the IPO got approved.”

  Gail sighed again in obvious relief. “I was afraid we would be drastically impacted by that. But the twins said not to worry and we just have to trust in them at this point.”

  I nodded as if she could see me. “I’ll see you the day after tomorrow, then.” My job was safe. The attorney working on behalf of Antonio’s mom could continue to advocate for her. The program was safe. My life was here in Dallas now. With time that would start feeling better, but now I was just numb.

  I ended the call and put the phone in my hoodie pocket.

  “Looks like we have our funding.” I said the words breathlessly and looked over
at the window. It was gray and wet today, the Texas sunshine I’d gotten so used to replaced by gloomy weather.

  “That’s great, hon.” José’s voice had that same worried tone he’d had since yesterday. It was New Year’s Day and instead of being hungover and sleeping in with Rocco, I was on my couch wearing the same clothes I’d worn forty-eight hours ago, and utterly miserable. I couldn’t even take a deep breath.

  I put my head on my knees, my arms tightened around myself. Tears just seeped out of my eyes on their own. There was no helping it, and if I had it in me to feel anything at all, I would’ve been furious at myself for letting this happen again.

  I heard movement and turned around to see José texting furiously, his face grim as he tapped his phone. Salome was just sitting there looking worried. I was so tired of being the pathetic friend who got dumped.

  “Guys, I’ll be fine. Why don’t you just go home?” I laughed, trying desperately to show even some semblance of normalcy.

  It didn’t work.

  They shook their heads in unison. “No, mi amor. We’re staying right here. Besides, where the hell are we even going to go?” That was Salome. She was right. We were supposed to all be at Rocco’s today for a boozy brunch. Maybe he was still doing it.

  “You guys can go to his place for the brunch.” I didn’t have to say who. “I won’t feel betrayed or anything.”

  At this, José snapped his head up and gave Salome a weird look. I wanted to ask them if they knew how he was doing, if he was okay, and I hated myself for it. Because even after all this, I still loved him. I missed him.

  I shuddered out a breath, and went back to staring at the window. “His place probably doesn’t feel like a funeral. You guys should go.”

  I heard them whisper behind me and I closed my eyes, trying to shut it out, then José’s voice got louder.

  “No. I’m going to tell her.” I snapped my head up to find Salome and José in a stare-off.