Honorbound

by Chelsea M. Campbell

  “Don’t want, cousin,” Cedric corrects him. “And as for all of that, I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I’m… I’m going to tell Uncle Ulrich about Leif. My, um, relationship with him, I mean.”

  Amelrik sucks in a breath, though he doesn’t say anything.

  “He’ll… Well, I don’t know what he’ll do, but maybe we can come up with some sort of compromise. Maybe there’s a way that neither of us has to marry Rosalind.”

  The two guards exchange another glance between them, not looking super happy about any of this.

  “Maybe,” Amelrik says, not sounding like he believes it. “But we can talk more about it later.” He jerks his head ever-so-slightly toward the guards, indicating that he doesn’t want to discuss it in front of them. “Right now, I just want to go home.”

  28

  EVERY PART OF YOU

  The dragons fly us back to Hawthorne clan. Leif barely lands before he takes off again, eager to visit his family and let them know he’s okay, and Amelrik and Cedric are immediately rushed off to talk to the king, leaving me on my own.

  The boys are gone for hours. Long enough that I have time to take a much needed hot bath and eat dinner.

  Odilia and Osric find me in the cafeteria. And maybe I’m getting better at recognizing them, because I feel like I know it’s them even before they change into human form, though I’m not sure if it’s their actual features I recognize or just their body language.

  “I was so worried when you guys didn’t come back that night or even the next day,” Odilia tells me. “I thought either my stupid brother was being stubborn about coming home or he refused to give you a ride.”

  “Or that you couldn’t find him,” Osric adds.

  Odilia nods. “Or that something terrible had happened. He was being awfully friendly with those paladins, even though he should know better—you can’t trust them.”

  Osric gives her a look, tilting his head toward me.

  Odilia flicks her hand. “Virginia doesn’t count. She’s not a paladin.”

  “No,” I agree, “I’m not.” I might have St. George magic, but I’m pretty sure using it to save dragons instead of hurt them is kind of the opposite of being a paladin.

  “And it didn’t take long for Uncle Ulrich to realize Amelrik was gone. He was so mad. He thought the two of you had run off together. He sent his guards out to look for him, with the order to kill you on sight.”

  My stomach drops, the dinner I ate suddenly feeling like a rock inside it.

  “Don’t worry,” she says, seeing the look on my face. “I told him the truth about where you guys went and what was really going on. And I got more than an earful for it, too, so don’t say I never do anything for you.”

  “Gee, thanks, Odilia.”

  She grins, not noticing my sarcasm. “Uncle Ulrich still wasn’t happy, but he did at least tell the guards to bring you in alive. But then they came back with reports of the barrier, and we were all even more worried.”

  “Yeah,” Osric says. “We were so upset, we lost three snowball fights in a row.”

  Odilia makes a face. “Brynn was so full of herself, just lording it over us.”

  “And our team was down by two people. She shouldn’t have been gloating about that.”

  “But now that you’re back, she’s not going to know what hit her. We’re going to—” She cuts off, her eyes lighting up at something behind me.

  No, not something, but someone. I look over my shoulder and see both Cedric and Amelrik approaching in human form. Except while Amelrik still has clothes on, Cedric’s completely naked. And even though literally everyone else here is also completely naked, it’s the first time I’ve seen him like that, and I can’t help glancing away and feeling my face heat up.

  “Cedric!” Odilia cries. She jumps up from her seat and throws her arms around him.

  Amelrik sits down next to me. He looks pretty drained, and after the day he’s had—accidentally attacking that paladin, almost being executed, and then having to talk to his father for hours—I don’t blame him.

  “It’s so good to see you, little brother,” Odilia says. “Especially since I thought I might never get to again. I can’t believe how stupid you were.” She ruffles Cedric’s hair, though she has to reach up to do it, because her “little brother” is taller than her.

  “Odilia!” He huffs at her and joins us at the table. “I’m not a dracling.”

  She rolls her eyes, as if that’s the dumbest thing he’s ever said. “You almost got yourself killed. If I hadn’t had the foresight to send our cousin and Virginia after you, you’d be dead right now.”

  Amelrik snorts. “That’s not what happened.”

  “It’s close enough,” Odilia says.

  I poke Amelrik’s arm. “What’d the king say?” I almost feel too nervous to ask, especially after hearing that only a few days ago, he’d ordered his guards to kill me on sight.

  Amelrik and Cedric exchange a look, and then Amelrik sighs. “Well, neither of us has to marry Rosalind.”

  I hold my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, because that sounds too good to be true, and his tone indicates that there’s definitely more to it.

  “What?!” Odilia squawks.

  “And the bad news?” I ask.

  Amelrik swallows. “We’re going to war.”

  I stare at him, a cold, sick feeling spreading through me.

  “With Oak clan?” Odilia asks, sounding horrified.

  He shakes his head.

  “With the paladins,” Cedric says.

  And now I really feel sick.

  “My father wasn’t happy with the way we were treated,” Amelrik goes on. “Especially since Warwick St. George was behind it.”

  Odilia frowns at that, though Osric shows no sign of recognition at the name.

  “He’s pissed that Warwick hurt his family again, that he hurt me again, and that the paladins wouldn’t even hand him over.”

  “It’s a huge offense,” Cedric says. “We clearly had the right of first punishment. And the Oak king wasn’t happy about Leif being in danger from them, either. Leif’s parents are his close friends, and they’re influential at court. Their son being trapped there, in a city full of paladins, being hunted… It didn’t go over well.”

  “My father’s been in close contact with the Oak king. They’ve had messengers flying back and forth for days, as soon as they found out about the barrier.”

  “Everyone was worried.”

  “And nothing’s been finalized yet,” Amelrik says, “but both kings have decided to postpone any marriage proceedings, since we’ll be united in this war against the paladins instead.”

  “‘United in bloodshed.’ That’s how Uncle Ulrich put it.”

  “Seriously?!” Odilia says. “You’re really not going to marry Rosalind?”

  They both scowl at her.

  “You’d make a good couple,” she whines, looking at Cedric. “That’s all.”

  He leans forward, putting his hand flat on the table. “Odilia? I’m not into Rosalind. And I’m already taken—I have a boyfriend.”

  “Yeah, but you—” She stops, realization of what he just said catching up to her. “Did you just say you have a boyfriend?”

  It’s hard to tell if she sounds angry or just shocked.

  Cedric’s face turns pink, and he stares down at the table. “Me and Leif. We’ve been together for about a year, and I… I never liked girls, not like that, so whatever you thought might happen between me and Rosalind—”

  “Why am I just now hearing about this?!” Odilia shouts, and now she definitely sounds angry. She whirls on Amelrik. “Did you know?”

  He holds up his hands. “I just found out the other day!”

  “Don’t be mad, Odilia,” Cedric says, his words slow and cautious.

  “I’m not,” she says, but she’s not at all convincing. She puts her elbows on the table and rests her chin against her fists. “You guys are always k
eeping secrets from me.”

  “Well, I knew,” Osric says.

  We all stare at him.

  Odilia shakes her head. “No, you did not.”

  He shrugs. “I at least suspected.”

  “And that’s it?” I ask. “They’re really calling off the wedding? What about the Elder king? I thought he was ill, that Lothar would be—”

  “It sounds like the Elder king’s started to recover,” Amelrik says, obviously relieved about that.

  I kind of am, too. Not that I know the Elder king super well or anything, but I did meet him once, and he didn’t seem that bad. Plus, Amelrik said he was like a father to him.

  “And the Oak king doesn’t want his daughter to marry on the brink of war,” Amelrik continues. “And I think, maybe, after she found out it was possibly going to be me instead…” He trails off there and takes a deep breath. “Well, either way, I think the Oak king saw it as an opportunity to become allies without giving up his daughter.”

  Or maybe he didn’t want her marrying someone who might be about to die in a war. Not that either of them are going to. I push that thought out of my head. “So,” I say, “a war against paladins.”

  Amelrik squeezes my hand. “Nothing’s final yet. It might not happen. And it’s Warwick they’re really after. Not your sister, or… or anybody else.”

  But Celeste’s still a St. George. And if the dragons go to war with them, there’s no way she’ll just sit back on the sidelines.

  He puts his arm around me, and I lean into his shoulder. I think about how easily I could have lost him earlier—how I thought I had—and try to be comforted by the fact that we’re safe. We’re back at Hawthorne clan, the only place that’s really ever felt like home to me, surrounded by our friends. Friends who are now bickering about snowball-fight strategies. The future might be uncertain in more ways than one, but maybe being here right now, with the people I care about, is enough.

  Maybe it has to be.

  As soon as we get to our room later, I flop down on the super comfy bed. It feels like ages since I’ve gotten to do that, even though we were only gone for three days. And I’m so tired, I’m not sure I’m even going to bother putting my pajamas on. I might fall asleep like this, sprawled out in the middle. Amelrik will just have to sleep at the edge.

  “Virginia?”

  I open one eye and pat the space next to me, indicating he should join me.

  He doesn’t. He stays standing, hovering nearby.

  I scoot over for him, but he still doesn’t move. He seems nervous about something.

  “I made my choice,” I tell him, guessing at what he’s worried about, “and Celeste made hers. I don’t want to think of us going to war with them, but there’s nothing I can do about it. And I’m not… This is my home. You are. And it turns out your father was going to have me killed, then changed his mind, so, you know, I think he’s coming around.”

  He half scoffs, half laughs at that. “You saved my life. You saved all our lives.”

  I shrug, like it’s all in a day’s work. “You saved mine, too. And we solved a mystery.”

  “Among other things,” he says, a dark edge to his voice.

  I sit up. “It wasn’t your fault. You’re not a monster.”

  “The whole crowd was looking at me like I was, though, when I was up there on that stage, when Warwick had me chained.”

  “Not the whole crowd. Not me, and not Cedric.”

  He nods. “I thought I was going to die, and they were all looking at me like that, and they hadn’t even seen me transform yet. And the look on Warwick’s face, and on that paladin’s that I—that died…” He squeezes his eyes shut, wincing at the memory. Then he starts undoing the buttons on the shirt he borrowed from Cedric. He notices me watching him, and his hands start to shake a little. “I, um, I need to transform. I should, I mean.” He gestures to the bruises still on his face, though dragons heal pretty fast, and they already look a lot better than they did earlier.

  “So?” I don’t know what he’s being so weird about. I almost think he’s going to ask me to look away, like he doesn’t want me to see him at all like that now, and that thought makes my chest sting. And I don’t know if he feels that way because the last time I saw him change was when he ended up hurting somebody, or if it’s because of the time before that, when he was forced to be naked in that form, but I don’t really like either option. Or the idea that he trusts me even less now.

  And as much as I want to argue with him if that is the case, it also just hurts, and I’ve had way too much to deal with today. So I make it easier for him. I flop back down on the bed and pull one of the pillows over my face, because I don’t think I can handle hearing him actually say he doesn’t want me to look.

  He pulls the pillow away. His shirt’s off now, and I can see discoloration on the sides of his stomach where there’s more bruising. I wince and reach out to touch him, stopping before my fingers make contact as I think better of it, since it’s probably still sore. I put my hand on his hip instead.

  He takes a step back, out of my reach.

  There’s that sting in my chest again.

  “I just… I have to say this, Virginia. Because if I don’t say it now, I might not ever, and I…” He rubs a hand over his face and sighs.

  I sit back up again, not sure what he’s about to say or if it’s going to make me feel better or worse than I do right now.

  “When I thought I was going to be forced to transform in front of all those people, when they were all staring at me like that, all I could think about was you.”

  I suck in a breath, not expecting that. “That’s not fair.” I hate the hurt in my voice and the way that my throat tightens.

  “No, you don’t understand. All I could think about is how the way you look at me isn’t anything like how those people would have. To how Warwick and that other paladin did. The looks on their faces when I changed, even before I attacked, it was…” He shudders. “It’s not how you look at me, not ever. You might be shocked, but not hateful and not afraid.” He starts to take his pants off, and now his hands are really shaking.

  “Whoa,” I say, unable to stop myself. “What are you doing?”

  “What I should have done months ago. I… I think.” He stops what he’s doing, but he seems even more nervous now, and he’s speaking really fast. “I don’t want to die without you really knowing me. Every part of me. I almost died today, I thought I was going to, and all I could think about is how much you’re not like everybody else, and how much I trust you, and how much I don’t want this to come between us.”

  If it wasn’t for his face being so red, I’d wonder if I’d really just heard what I thought I did. The stinging feeling in my chest eases up, replaced by warmth and… guilt. I shake my head at him. “You don’t have to do this.” I’m not sure I want him to. Not because I don’t want to see him, but because I’m pretty sure I’m still going to look shocked, since I apparently already look at him like that. And the last thing I want to do today is hurt him.

  “No, I do.”

  “But you don’t have to tonight.” Maybe if he sleeps on it, he’ll realize in the morning what a horrible mistake it would have been and be glad he didn’t.

  “I’ve put it off long enough.”

  “That’s really how I want you to talk about me seeing you naked.”

  “But maybe you were right, maybe there could be more than just avoiding this forever. And I… I love you, and I don’t want to be holding anything back. I want you to see all of me, to have—” He stops himself there, swallowing back the words. “I want you to see me,” he repeats, leaving off the other part. He starts to take off his pants again.

  “Wait,” I tell him. “I might not… I don’t want to upset you.”

  “You won’t,” he says, but with maybe a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

  “But maybe it’s not worth the risk. You’re probably not going to like how I look at you, because I can’t guarantee
it’s going to be perfect, and then we’ll both be upset, and that’s not how I want things to go. Especially today.”

  “I don’t care anymore.” He’s completely undressed now.

  I try not to stare at him—at certain parts of him—because it seems maybe inappropriate right now. But it’s kind of difficult not to, especially knowing that he plans to transform. “You think that now, but—”

  “It’s worth the risk. Hiding this side of me from you, avoiding ever letting you see it… It feels like a secret, one that’s eating away at me, and I don’t want to keep secrets from you. And even if it is a risk, I’d rather take it than die without ever trying. Because I do trust you, Virginia. And more than that, I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I tell him. “Every part of you.”

  “Good,” he says, and then he takes a deep breath and transforms.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Thank you so much for reading! You are AWESOME! (Obviously.) If you enjoyed this book, it would be super helpful to me if you could leave a review. Reviews have a big impact on the life of a book (and a series) and allow me to keep writing stories you love!

  ALSO BY CHELSEA M. CAMPBELL

  Dragonbound

  Dragonbound

  Honorbound

  Renegade X

  The Rise of Renegade X

  The Trials of Renegade X

  The Haunting of Renegade X

  The Betrayal of Renegade X

  The Torment of Renegade X

  The Phobia of Renegade X

  Fire & Chasm

  Starlight

  Growing Up Dead

  Harper Madigan: Junior High Private Eye

  Join the newsletter! Sign up for random updates and new release notifications at www.chelseamcampbell.com

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Chelsea M. Campbell grew up in the Pacific Northwest, where it rains a lot. And then rains some more. She finished her first novel when she was twelve, sent it out, and promptly got rejected. Since then, she’s earned a degree in Latin and Ancient Greek, become an obsessive knitter and fiber artist, and started a collection of glass grapes.