Finding Hope

by Katlyn Grace

  He watched as Ethan closed his Bible shut. The man was noticeably getting more tired as wrinkles formed around his brows and dark bags developed under his eyes. Mark longed for his friend to have a sense of peace only God could bring.

  “I can’t change my past…but I can change my future.” Mark watched as Ethan trailed off from his words and seconds passed. “My mom used to tell me that.” Ethan’s half-smile assured Mark that he indeed received something out of today’s counseling session.

  “I’m sure she was a wise woman, as was your stepdad.”

  “They were.” Ethan paused and shifted in his seat. “What time is church Sunday?”

  “Ten in the morning.” Mark couldn’t hide his smile, for Ethan was asking the question without anyone inviting him first. It was a big step that Mark didn’t figure Ethan would take for a few more weeks, but God’s timing undoubtedly worked best.

  A determined look surfaced his face as Ethan responded. “I’ll try my very best to be there.”

  Mark nodded with a grateful grin as his cell phone rang. He read the caller ID and answered. “Hello, my little lobster.” The epithet brought a smirk not only to Mark’s face, but to Ethan’s as well, for Ethan had caught on to Hope’s family nickname.

  A sickly version of Hope’s voice sounded over the phone, and she didn’t even acknowledge his remark about her nickname. “Mark, I have the flu.” She groaned.

  “Are you alright?” Ethan perked up like a dog would at the word treat at Mark’s question.

  “I would be okay if I wasn’t sick.” She laid the sarcasm on thick. “Look, I was just wondering if you could stop by and drop off some soup from that diner downtown by the fire department.”

  Mark glanced at his watch. “You’re lucky I have thirty minutes before my meeting with the mayor.”

  “Bless you.” She sneezed just before he hung up the phone.

  “No, bless you.” He hooted at his corny joke.

  “Leave the jokes to me.” She managed a weak chuckle. “Thank you.”

  “No problem.” Mark hung up his phone.

  “What’s wrong with Hope?” Ethan asked as soon as Mark shoved his cell phone in his back pocket.

  Mark laughed at Ethan’s enthusiasm. “Easy, tiger. Hope’s alright.” Mark reassured him. “You’re becoming quite interested in my little sister, aren’t you?” He grabbed his heavy winter coat. “She has the flu,” Mark explained.

  Ethan nodded, not denying Mark’s rhetorical question. “I should call and check on her later.”

  “She would enjoy that. I’m supposed to stop by the diner and pick up her favorite soup.” Mark headed toward the door as Ethan trailed behind him. “Used and abused, I am,” he teased.

  Mark turned around at the door to see Ethan inwardly debating with himself. Ethan rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb. “I could go get it. I need an excuse to talk to her.”

  His offer was nice, but Mark didn’t know whether Hope would appreciate the company right now. “She gets grumpy when she’s sick,” he warned.

  “I think I can handle her.” Ethan winked.

  Mark stopped before heading out into the frigid winter day. He felt it necessary to bring out Big Brother Bear. “Please treat her well. Hope’s a princess and I don’t want to see her heart break.”

  Ethan shoved his hands in his pocket. “She wants me to believe again.” He rocked on his heels like a child would.

  “We all do, but none of us want it to be guilt driven.” Mark slipped his shoes on. “You don’t have to have all your questions answered to make the first step. God will help you out with the rest. We’re all here for you, Ethan…Hope especially. She enjoys spending her time with you. As her brother, I can tell she’s genuinely happy when around you.”

  “I don’t want to let her down.” Ethan appeared heartbroken just at the thought, which made Mark feel good inside…being the big brother and all.

  Mark sighed. “Take her the soup, Ethan. You mentioned church, so go to church with all of us Sunday. You might surprise yourself and find yourself enjoying it. Then, who knows? Maybe we’ll go out to eat afterward.”

  “I will,” Ethan agreed, seeming content with his decision.

  “In the end though, it’s not about her. It’s about you and your heart,” Mark added before he trudged off into the outdoors’ grey winter wonderland.

  Ethan walked into Funfetti Café and Bakery, letting the door jingle behind him. For a mid-Monday morning, the line wasn’t too bad.

  So far, he purchased Hope a funny get-well card, a fluffy teddy bear, a dozen multi-colored roses, and her favorite soup from Patti’s Diner. His mission now was to find out her favorite dessert. Hope had done so much for him, so it was time that he paid her back. Not that he had to, but his heart desired to.

  “Hi there, Ethan! What can I get for you today?” Cheery Anne met him on the other side of the counter as he stepped up for his turn to order.

  “Hi, Anne.” Ethan grinned. The thirty some year-old woman’s bubbliness reminded him of his mom. “I was wondering if Brianna might be around here somewhere. I have a question for her.”

  “She’s around here somewhere. I’ll go hunt her down for ’ya.” She shot him a smile before heading through the kitchen door.

  Ethan took this time to survey all the desserts behind the glass counter. One could clearly perceive Hope and Brianna’s passion exhibited on the shelves upon shelves of desserts—Tie-dye cookies, homemade donuts, gourmet muffins, and so many gorgeously decorated cakes with intricate details. This bakery was where Hope’s heart was.

  Hope’s love for her job made Ethan’s heart ache. He missed what he used to do. Coaching the high school soccer team was something he enjoyed immensely, along with the simple day job he’d once possessed in an office. Being around kids and teaching them skills in something he was passionate about—it was what he looked forward to most. The thought of considering job hunting dwelled on Ethan’s mind lately. He suddenly missed putting effort into something and feeling accomplished at the end of the day.

  He pushed aside his thoughts as Hope’s younger sister appeared from the kitchen. “You’re covered in flour.” Ethan’s lips curved into a smirk at her appearance. Brianna’s apron was smothered in chocolate frosting, and her platinum blonde hair seemed even whiter with a coat of powdered sugar and flour.

  Brianna laughed. “Thanks for reminding me. A bag ripped, and I happened to be carrying it.” She dusted her hands off on her jeans. “This bakery doesn’t fully function without Hope, but don’t tell her I said that.”

  He chuckled. “Speaking of Hope, I was wondering if you knew what her favorite dessert was.” He leaned against the counter, awaiting Brianna’s reply.

  Bri formed a cunning grin. “As long as I can make the speech at your guys’ wedding.”

  Ethan was positive his eyes grew larger than a fifty-cent coin at Brianna’s statement. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?” He laughed. “She’s sick and I’m just going to check in on her,” he explained, knowing he didn’t have to clarify himself, but he felt the need to.

  “Mhmm.” She raised her eyebrows then giggled like a little schoolgirl. “She likes strawberry shortcakes…not too much whipped topping, and strawberries are her favorite fruit.”

  Ethan nodded as he noted the information about Hope.

  Hope’s sister continued. “Lucky for you, I have two extra cakes that were freshly made a about thirty minutes ago. The woman who originally ordered them canceled. I was going to put them behind the counter, but they’re all yours,” she offered.

  “Sweet.” Ethan snagged the offer. “How much do I owe you?”

  She shook her head as she grabbed two bakery boxes under the counter. “Make my sister happy and it’s free. I’ll call and find out how her evening went, you know. If she didn’t enjoy it, then you owe me,” Bri taunted.

  Ethan found himself liking Hope’s little sister more and more. She had a charming sense of humor but deep-down, Brianna cared
vastly for her family. He admired that. “Thank you.” He smiled as she headed to the back to box the two cakes.

  The knocking at Hope’s apartment door pounded in her head. She sat up from her couch, and dizziness met her as she stood. She wrapped a plush pink blanket around her body and headed for the door. Like a snail, her body trailed slowly along the path to the front door. Her tangled hair, odd colored skin, and glasses were going to make her brother run.

  She opened the door. “It’s about

  ti—" she stopped in her tracks when she realized it wasn’t her brother standing at her door.

  Instead, Ethan Grey stood patiently waiting on her apartment door mat. Bundled in a heavy Carhartt coat, he shivered. Ethan blew a strand of hair out of his face, still dusted with specks of snow as inches of white flakes piled up outside. Clutched in his right arm was a teddy bear with a smiley face balloon and card in its paw. Hope eyed vibrant roses in Ethan’s large grip as well. His left hand held a bag that smelled of her favorite soup.

  Hope suddenly realized she looked a mess compared to the handsome man standing in front of her. Her cheeks heated and she pushed her hair behind her ears in attempt to make herself look better. She didn’t want Ethan to see her this way, but she had no other choice right now. “Come in, you’ve got chills.” She stepped aside to let him in.

  He stepped into her apartment and took off his boots. “It’s snowing hard.” She watched as he shrugged his coat off. His grey sweater showed off his muscles in all the right places. She’d decided a long time ago that he looked handsome in just about anything. Hope ripped her gaze from his biceps as Ethan began to speak. “I hope you don’t mind. I happened to be there when you rang Mark. I may or may not have intruded.”

  Hope didn’t realize how much she missed his warm smile until now. “I don’t mind at all. I enjoy surprises.” She grinned. “Although, I look like a train just ran me over.”

  He stopped in his tracks. “You look beautiful…as always.” The admiration in the twinkle of his chestnut eyes was too much for her to handle.

  “You’re too kind. I’ve seen myself in the mirror today.” Hope walked him into her cozy living space.

  He chuckled. “These are all yours.” He handed over the teddy bear holding the balloon and card, along with the multi-colored roses. “Think of it as an apology gift too. I messed up.” He offered a remorseful smile.

  “We all mess up.” She traced a finger over a delicate rose petal. “They’re beautiful.” She looked up at him with a smile.

  Ethan’s relief was evident as the tension from his shoulders released and he began to relax. “Lead me to your kitchen, and then go lie back down. I come bearing lots of food.”

  “Good, I’m starved.” Her stomach had been roaring ever since she had thrown up the last of its contents.

  She strolled into her small kitchen, Ethan on her heels. “The bowls are in—” Hope started to show Ethan where all her utensils were when he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

  “I can handle this, go lie down.” The touch was electric, and suddenly Hope was thankful she could go sit down.

  She stifled a laugh and walked back to her living room space, the warm fireplace calling her. She placed the bear and roses Ethan had gotten her on the small mantle above the fireplace. Hope glanced out by the window overlooking the quiet, snowy city of Alton as she opened the card the bear had been holding. She found herself laughing out loud at the cheesy joke on the inside.

  “I’m guessing you read the card?” The corners of Ethan’s lips lifted, and dimples appeared on his cheeks as he appeared from the kitchen with two soup mugs full of steaming homemade chicken noodles.

  She nodded and bit her bottom lip. “It was a good one.” She laughed once more and placed the card with the rest of her gifts.

  He nodded toward the couch and Hope shuffled her feet behind him. Ethan let her take her seat and get comfortable first before handing her the warm soup. Patti’s chicken noodle soup always made her mouth ooze at the delicious smelling aroma.

  “How are you feeling?” He sat down at the opposite corner of the couch.

  “If I’m being completely honest…awful.” She groaned at the uncontrollable shivers that snaked their way down her body.

  Ethan grabbed an extra blanket at the foot of the couch and wrapped it around her with the blanket that had already been by her side. “Have you been to the doctor?”

  “I did after Bri shooed me away from work. It’s the flu. They prescribed an antibiotic, but so far it’s not a miracle worker.” She muted her TV from the movie she had been watching earlier. “I’d hate for you to get it.” Hope grimaced at the thought of making him miserable.

  “I get to see you, so it’s worth the risk.” He grinned.

  She shook her head with a laugh. “This soup is fantastic.”

  He agreed and pointed out her tree in the corner of the living room. “Your Christmas tree isn’t that bad.” Trying to cover up his awful lie, Ethan slurped his soup, almost choking on it as he did so.

  Her tree was somewhere under the thick, multi-colored tinsel. Every time Hope glanced in its direction, she wanted to bury her face in her decorative pillows. Brianna definitely over-did it with the decorations this year. “You’re very bad at lying.” She chuckled and wrinkled her nose. “But thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

  Ethan threw his head back as he laughed. The sound was better medicine than the anti-biotics the doctor prescribed Hope.

  “Speaking of Christmas—once I get to feeling better, I still have some last-minute gifts to purchase.” Hope wanted to buy her sister something for her kitchen, and she wanted to get the church youth class something special.

  “Give me a day, and I’ll tag along and get us lunch. Plus, I’m not good at shopping for Sara.” The flicker of fear in his wide eyes made Hope snort.

  “That would be fun.” She grinned, then added, “And we ladies love anything that smells good and sparkles.” Hope quoted words from her mother’s mouth.

  “It’s harder than that.”

  “I think you’re being dramatic, but nonetheless, I’ll help you out.” Hope reassured him with a wink. “How is Sara?” Hope hadn’t seen Ethan’s sister since they went black Friday shopping. She missed her friend.

  “Good. She’s back to work now and staying busy with crazy round the clock shifts again. She cares a whole lot about her patients. Sara’s good at what she does.” Hope smiled at how Ethan talked about his sister. One could tell the two of them were trying to bond now as siblings should.

  Hope’s stomach abruptly began to churn, protesting the food she’d been hungrily devouring. She placed her hand over her belly to try to make it stop. Not now, Lord. Please, not right now. “Good.” She placed her half empty soup mug on the coffee table.

  “Are you alright?” Ethan asked, probably catching the wince she tried her best to hide.

  “No.” She couldn’t cover the pain up. Her body shook uncontrollably, and her woozy head made the living space spin. She could almost taste the bile rising in her throat for the fourth time today.

  “What do you need me to do?” He urgently sat his empty bowl on the side table and knelt in front of her.

  Hope motioned him up toward her. “Come here.” With a puzzled look, he obeyed without questioning her request by sitting directly beside her on the couch.

  She took a pillow and laid it in his lap, then curled into a ball to rest her head on the pillow. Ethan pulled the blankets further up her body as she clutched her stomach. The flu was absolute torture. She looked up to see Ethan’s soft smile full of sympathy. “I don’t like being sick,” Hope groaned.

  “I don’t think anyone does.” He pushed her long bangs out of her face with small strokes of his finger. “If you feel up to it later, I brought dessert. Fresh strawberry shortcake.” He offered her a half-smile.

  She was falling in love with the dimpled smile that made Ethan’s eyes crinkle around the edges. Hope felt hersel
f on the brink of tears, for Ethan had made her day a lot brighter, and a bit more bearable. He’d brought her gifts, her favorite dessert and soup, but most importantly he’d given her his time. “Thank you,” she whispered as her eyelids drew heavy.

  Ethan gently leaned down to kiss her forehead as a reply. The gesture was enough to make her tingle all the way from her forehead to her toes. She couldn’t fight the sleep as he began to trace the brown spotted freckles on her cheeks with his pointer finger. With each tender stroke, Hope’s heart caught itself falling in love with Ethan Grey.

  Ethan stepped into his home later that night. He hadn’t wanted to leave Hope alone in her condition, but luckily Hope’s parents were on their way to check on her when he left.

  His heart ached as he reflected on holding her hand and her hair back as she threw up her dinner on the bathroom floor. The flu was beating her to a pulp. He didn’t like seeing Hope—normally so strong—weak.

  Slipping his shoes off, Ethan headed up the stairs of his quiet house to his bedroom. He needed a shower, some sleep, and then he would check on Hope first thing in the morning. Seeing her so sick strangely made him want to always be there…through her worst times and her best times. It was a desire that developed over time in his heart. Hope meant a lot to him and his frail heart.

  As he entered his bedroom, his landline phone rang from the nightstand by his bed. He jogged over to answer it, hoping that if it was Hope, she was okay.

  “Hello?” He plopped down on the edge of his bed.

  A voice spoke on the other end faster than the blizzard coming down outside. “I just got off the phone with Hope. She had a wonderful time and appreciated your visit. So, the cake is free.” Ethan recognized the voice as none other than Hope’s little sister, Brianna.

  He erupted in laughter, enjoying more and more the company of the Lawson family. When he caught his breath, he replied, “I didn’t know you were serious.”