by Snow, Jenika
But I could have done a hell of a lot more damage to him. As it is, I’m pretty fucking proud of myself for restraining from beating the shit out of him .
“You can’t attack people like that for no reason .”
Oh, I had a good reason .
If she wants to go in there I can’t stop her, but that doesn’t mean I won’t go back in there for her .
She finally looks at me again and exhales. “I have some stuff I need to talk to you about too .”
All I want to do is pull her in and kiss her, tell her that she’s mine, that she’s been mine for a long time. But instead I curl my fingers into my palms until the pain lances up my arms. First I’ll tell her how I feel, and then if she doesn’t run from me, or slap me across the face, then I’ll pull her into my lap and claim her as mine .
Because at the end of the day Virginia is mine, and no one will tell me any differently .
Chapter 8
Virginia
“W e’ll talk at home,” Carson proclaims. My heart is thundering in my chest, so much so that I can hear the beat reverberate in my ears. My palms are actually sweaty. I have no idea what’s going on—not really. If I can believe my gut instinct, I would think that Carson was jealous. Could he be ?
Is that just wishful thinking ?
“ Carson — ”
“Get in the truck, Jenny,” he orders me, his voice carrying a deep warning tone that sends shivers down my spine. Shivers that make me feel…alive .
“But, Carson — ”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly in control right now. So either get in the damn truck now, or I can pick you up, throw you over my shoulder, and put you in there myself.” His gaze is unwavering. “But either way we will discuss how you left the house knowing that you and I had plans — ”
“Carson!” I almost growl, because he’s not letting me talk .
“You let him touch you, Jenny,” he barks, his voice accusing. Guilt swamps me and I squirm where I’m standing .
“He just touched my face,” I defend, and it sounds lame, even to me .
“He shouldn’t have touched any part of you,” Carson growls .
“Carson, you’re not being reasonable,” I respond, at a loss on how to deal with this Carson. The man in front of me is different from the person I’ve known for longer than I care to admit. This Carson is almost ferocious .
“I’m not feeling reasonable, Jenny. You let him touch you — ”
“But, Carson,” I start, though I’m not sure what I’m going to say .
“You let him touch what’s mine ,” he growls again and my heart stutters in my chest .
“Yours ?”
“Yes. Mine. It’s high time you accept it. I’m done holding back where you are concerned, Jenny .”
“What does that mean, Carson?” I ask, feeling breathless. I want to believe that he wants me, that he’s not just being protective right now .
He said I was his, though .
“What does that mean?” I ask again, my voice soft. I can hear how nervous I sound. I’m almost afraid to push him, just in case I’m wrong. Yet, everything about Carson right now tells me that I’m not .
“It means you either get in this damn truck right now, or I’ll strip you bare and spank your ass right here in front of God and country .”
My face heats and my heart stalls. “ Spank me ?”
“Exactly. I’ll spank that perfect ass of yours for letting another man get near what is mine .”
“Yours?” God, I feel like we are going back and forth with this, like I’m a broken record. Truth is, I feel like I’m in some other world, like I’d been dropped into someone else’s life. “Carson, we’ve never… I mean, we don’t have that kind of relationship. You’re my guardian,” I whisper, hope making my heart beat a wild melody in my chest at the very thought I could have him as mine .
“You’ve got about one minute to make your move, Jenny. But I promise you that if you run I will come after you,” he says, his voice dead serious .
“I… I’ll just get in the truck,” I whisper, trying to digest everything Carson just told me. I need to know what’s going on, and leaving with him, talking to him, is how I’m going to find out .
Chapter 9
Carson
I ’ve got to get control of myself .
Hell !
I’m probably scaring Jenny to death. I don’t want that. The last thing I want is for her to be afraid of me. But seeing another man dare to touch her… Yeah, even now I want to go back there and fucking kill him. Now I find myself coming to terms with the fact that I’ve let Jenny get too far away from me. I’ve just told her how I felt—in so many ways—in the middle of a damn parking lot .
Fuck .
One thought keeps haunting me now. It’s something I don’t want to give voice to. If I do, it will be proof that I’ve been a stupid, blind asshole. It will be proof that Jenny will never be completely mine .
She doesn’t speak as we drive down the old graveled road. I chance a look at her and see her staring out her window, biting on her nails. I know she has a million questions, but for whatever reason she’s not voicing them. I want to scream out my frustration as I turn my gaze back on the road. This is part of the problem. Jenny and I have been too quiet, for too damn long .
“Have you let another man touch you?” I growl, finally asking my question and doing my best to ignore the way the mere words cut me inside. “More than what happened tonight?” If she’s given away her virginity I’ll find a way to get past it, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t hunt the fucker down and kill him .
“What?” she gasps .
I glance at her. Her face is pale and her eyes are wide with surprise—but she didn’t answer the question .
Fucking hell! Is she dodging the answer ?
“That’s none of your business .”
There’s this bite in her voice and I grin. That’s my girl giving me shit even though I need her to tell me the truth .
“Who did you give your cherry to, Jenny ?”
“I… What… Carson, you’re acting insane!” she huffs .
I look around and see the turnoff for the cornfield that I planted. The truck bounces over the dirt road, pot holes and bumps—mostly because I don’t slow down. I come to a stop in front of the old metal gate that blocks the road. This is the back entrance to my farm. I have a key, but this is far enough off the road that Jenny and I can have this out. That’s all that matters right now .
I shut the truck off and we sit there in the quiet and dark. The only sounds you can hear are the crickets outside, a stray hoot owl call here and there, and Jenny’s erratic breathing. The moon is full tonight and it offers a filtered, pale light to shine through the cab of my truck. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel and try to calm down the raw anger and frustration inside of me .
Why did I wait so long to claim Jenny? Why did I assume she would be waiting for me, like I have for her ?
Because I’m an idiot .
“Who is he?” I ask, doing my best to keep the words from sounding like a bitter accusation, but not sure I fully succeed. Truthfully, it cuts me open inside that she gave herself to another man. It will take me time to get over it. I’m still not letting her get away and even if I can’t be her first, I’m damn well going to be the last man to crawl between her legs. I’ll fuck her so hard she’ll never think of letting another man near her again .
“He?” she asks, confused .
“The man you’ve slept with. Who is he, Jenny ?”
“I really don’t think we should talk about this, Carson. I’m a grown woman and my sex life is not your concern — ”
“Your sex life? Jesus Christ! Has there been more than one, Jenny?” I growl, feeling nothing but pain inside .
“More than one what?” she asks, exasperated .
“Have you had more than one man between your legs ?”
“Carson! I just said I’m n
ot talking about this with you !”
“You will answer the damn question. I’m done playing here. You haven’t realized it yet, but you need to .”
“ Realize what ?”
“You’re mine, and I’m done waiting—apparently, I’ve waited too long already .”
“I’m yours ?”
“Exactly .”
“When did you decide I was yours, Carson?” she asks, and I think I hear a hint of anger in her voice. I’m handling this wrong, I know it, but I’ve gone too far to turn back now .
“Since that night on your eighteenth birthday, when I first tasted your lips .”
“Since… Carson .”
“What?” I growl, not about to back down .
“That was almost four years ago! It will be four years in a day or so !”
“Doesn’t change the facts. I knew with that one taste that you were mine, Jenny .”
“Don’t you think you could have told me ?”
“I was trying to give you time to grow up and spread your wings a little. I owed that to your father and to you—even if it did kill me .”
“I was eighteen! Most people consider that the age of an adult!” she huffs, clearly angry .
“You were a sheltered eighteen. You needed time to come into your own,” I growl, getting frustrated. She’ll never understand how much self-control it took to let her go to college after that kiss. How much discipline it took not to claim her right then. Nor could she understand how much it’s killing me to know that she gave her body to another man during this time. I hate that I waited now. I should have claimed her back then and planted my child in her. If I had, Jenny would have never looked anywhere else for comfort. She would have had me and our child, and that’s all she would have ever wanted .
I fucked up. I have to fix it .
“So you let me go, letting me think that the kiss was nothing…that you weren’t interested in me… like that . ”
“I had to. It was for your own good .”
“My own good. How nice of you to decide what was good for me, Carson! You could have at least asked me how I felt about your plan!” she growls and unbuckles her seatbelt, turning to look at me. “Did that thought ever occur to you while you were making major decisions about my life ?”
“I was doing my job, Jenny!” I growl back, not thinking the words out and I wince at the way they sound .
“ You job ?”
“I’m your guardian, Jenny. It’s my job to make sure you are — ”
“That I’m what? That I get to spread my wings? That the first kiss I give a man feels like a rejection when he doesn’t bother to react to it and proceeds to act like it meant nothing ?”
“Jenny—you have to understand…” I start, feeling defensive .
“What I understand is that you’re insane. You apparently decided I was yours four years ago, but you didn’t let me in on the secret !”
“Damn it, Jenny !”
“Now you’re acting like a caveman because some faceless man got what you claimed years ago, but again…didn’t bother to tell me! Do I have that right, Carson? You know I’m not adult enough to figure these things out on my own, I need your help. It is, after all, your damn job !”
“Jenny …” I stop, not sure how to explain things to her without making it worse. I get she’s upset, but hell…so am I! Before I get the chance, however, she turns and opens the truck door. “Where are you going?” I bark .
“I’m walking home! I suddenly feel the need to spread my wings!” she mutters, jumping out of the truck and slamming the door .
She takes off walking, but she’s going the opposite way of the house. If she thinks she can go back to that pretty boy in town, she’s got another think coming. I get out and stride over to her, my long legs swallowing up the distance before she can get too far away from me .
“You’re not leaving !”
“Watch me!” she huffs, not bothering to turn around .
I react on instinct. I hook my arms around her waist and pull her back against me. I pull her in tight so she can feel the hard ridge of my cock against her ass. I lean my face down close to hers, unable to resist a small kiss along the side of her neck, which turns into more of a bite, because after the night I’ve had I feel the need to mark her damn body .
She trembles in my arms, losing some of the stiffness in her muscles. Her ass even pushes against my cock. I doubt she realizes the invitations she’s giving me, but I do. It’s an invitation I have every intention of accepting .
“You’re not walking away, Jenny. I may have waited too long to claim you, but whoever the fucker is that you gave your body to was an idiot .”
“Because he took what you pushed away?” she huffs, her body going tense once again .
“Because he had you and yet he let you get away. Now you’re here. Now I have you and you aren’t getting away from me. You’re never getting away from me again, ” I tell her and the words are a promise .
I spin her around and lift her over my shoulder, letting her torso drape over my shoulders and back, while I hold her legs and ass tight. I start striding through the corn, going straight to the house. I’ll get the truck tomorrow. I need Jenny safely inside my house and I’m not risking letting her out of my arms until she’s locked inside my bedroom, unable to get away .
Once I have her there, I have only one thought on my mind. I’ll finally claim her body and do my best to obliterate any memory of a man before me and I’ll bury my cock so deep in her, filling her so full of my cum that some have to take root. Before the week is out, Jenny will be pregnant with my baby and she’ll never get away from me then. She’ll never doubt who she belongs to again .
Chapter 10
Virginia
I can feel the tension radiating from Carson, but I keep my mouth shut and let him control the situation. Yes, I have a lot of questions, the biggest one being what exactly he meant when he said I was his, and how far he is going to take that. Maybe it is obvious to some, and a part of me knows what it really means, but I want to hear him say it. I want him to admit that he desires me in the same way I do him .
I want Carson to tell me that, even though he said he’s wanted me since I was eighteen, what he wants with me is more than just a warm body in his bed. And truthfully, that’s my biggest fear. I worry that when this is all said and done, what he really desires is us rolling around between his sheets, making me just another notch on his bedpost .
We’ve been back at his house for the last twenty minutes, and although I feel a little dumb for walking off, I feel even more ridiculous that he felt the need to haul me over his shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes .
I’m a damn liar. I got so wet when he picked me up, like he was this caveman and he was hauling me back to his lair .
I watch as he walks over to the cabinet, opens it up, and pulls out two glasses. Then he goes over to the freezer and opens it, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. When he comes back to the table and sits across from me, my throat tightens .
He pours both glasses with a shot of whiskey and pushes one of them over to me. I stare at it for long seconds before finally picking it up and downing the whole thing. When I set the glass down, my throat on fire, my breath wheezing out of me, I see that Carson is staring at me with a smirk on his face. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now .
But he doesn’t say anything. He tosses back his own drink and refills both of the glasses .
“I figure we will both need a little kick in the ass after all the shit that went down tonight .”
I nod and drink the second shot of whiskey, coughing slightly once I have it swallowed. God, it’s like liquid fire down my throat and settling like a rock in my belly. The warmth and buzz start immediately. I’m not a big drinker so I know these two shots will really loosen me up .
Good .
“Did I freak you out by what I said? I’m surprised you haven’t packed your stuff and tried to leave.” He looks away
and I hate that .
“No, you didn’t freak me out.” He might have admitted that he wants me, but I haven’t exactly told him how deep my feelings for him actually go .
And I want to tell him. I want to admit it all to him. I’m just too afraid, so scared that when I tell him I love him things will change .
I stand, not able to sit still anymore, not able to think clearly. I walk over to the sink and stare out the window, but it’s too dark to see outside. Instead, I can see Carson’s reflection. He’s staring at me, watching me. He stands, but I don’t turn around. It’s then I notice I took the liquor bottle with me .
Despite the turbulent emotions running through me I am aroused, my pussy wet, and my nipples hard. Our gazes lock and I can’t breathe. I turn around slowly, still staring at him, wondering what he’s thinking about. I see him swallow, his Adams apple working as if he is trying to hold off from saying something. I clench my hands around the whiskey bottle, thinking about downing the whole thing, trying to stem off my arousal .
The death grip I have on the bottle seems to ground me, stabilize me. But I force myself to set the bottle aside .
“So, where do we go from here? Where do we stand?” My voice is thick, hoarse. I’m afraid, nervous…excited about his response. Carson doesn’t say anything, and instead he moves closer, just a step, but I feel his body heat slam into me .
He takes another step closer. “I will always protect you, Jenny, always be here for you, no matter what. You know that, right ?”
He hasn’t answered my question, but I nod anyway .
Carson watches me intently, his breathing harder, faster. It matches mine. His chest rises and falls the closer he moves toward me. When we are mere inches from one another, I stare into his eyes, wanting to have the guts to just rise up on my toes and kiss him, to be the one to really start this .
Take me now, Carson. Make me yours .
“You’re shaking,” he says in a low, deep voice. He moves an inch closer, and I press my back fully against the counter .