by Snow, Jenika
“I always put you first, Jenny,” I answer, my voice tense. I need to calm my ass down, but I’m having trouble with that, considering Jenny hasn’t even been home for five minutes and is making plans. Plans that do not include me .
This is not how I envisioned her first night home going .
“You always have, Carson. I know that. I don’t want to be a burden to you though .”
“You’ve never been — ”
“I don’t want to be just another chore you cross off your list, Carson. I may be home now, but I’m not going to get in your way or become a liability .”
“A liability?” I ask, dumbfounded and fucking confused. How could she ever think I would view her like that ?
“Exactly. I refuse to inconvenience you any longer. You will see. Things will be different now that I have my degree and I’m ready to start my own life. I just need a little bit of time to get my feet under me. That’s all .”
“You can go to Donna’s tonight, but I’ll have the corn planted on the east side of the farm done by tomorrow. Tomorrow night is ours. Understand ?”
“If you’re sure? I mean, I can always — ”
“I’m sure,” I tell her, interrupting her before she can upset me further .
I didn’t see this problem arising. I’m not altering my plan, but I’m starting to realize it might take me a little longer to get Jenny under control, to make her see what plans I have for us .
That’s okay. I always did like a challenge .
Chapter 4
Virginia
T he smell and feel of Donna's house brings back memories. I used to come here almost every weekend before my father died. We would watch cheesy romance movies, stuff our faces with popcorn, and even occasionally sneak some of her mom's red wine. But her parents have since moved to Florida and left her the house. Even still, it's like being back in a very good dream .
I hear her banging around in the kitchen and I snuggle deeper into the plush, yet ancient couch. This is the same furniture, same decor as it was all those years ago. The TV has been upgraded to a flat screen instead of the old box model, but aside from that even the seventies themed wallpaper is still in place .
I think about Carson and how he acted in the truck just earlier today. He seemed upset that I had plans with Donna, although I can't understand why. Yeah, maybe I should've given it a day or two and caught up with him and Mavis, but honestly I need to get my head sorted out. I need to figure out what I am going to do. I know I need to move on. I can't waste any more energy or my feelings on something that will never happen .
Donna comes in a few minutes later with a bowl of freshly popped popcorn, two glasses, and a bottle of white wine under her arm. She grins at me and sets everything on the coffee table .
“Brings back memories, doesn't it?” She smiles wider. And right on cue the doorbell rings, signaling our pizza has arrived .
When Donna comes back in with a large pizza box and sets it on the coffee table, my stomach gives a loud growl. We both laugh. For the next twenty minutes we eat and drink our weight in pizza and wine .
Donna leans back and pats her stomach, a contented sigh leaving her. “Man, I haven't eaten pizza and drank wine like that in forever.” She glances over at me, this little snort of laughter leaving her. “Remember when you used to come over and spend the night and we'd sneak into the kitchen and do shots of red wine like it was hard liquor or something?” We both start laughing so hard that tears trickle out the corners of our eyes .
“Oh my God,” I say between fits of laughter. “I swear I got drunk from like two shots, too.” I shake my head at the memories that slam into me. It is good to be home, good to be back .
We watch a little bit of a cheesy romantic movie, just like old times. The silence is comfortable, welcoming. I am exhausted from traveling all day, but I don't want this night to end just yet .
“Oh, I forgot to tell you I ran into Jake a few days ago .”
I shift on the couch to look at her. “Jake Anderson? I haven't thought about him in years .”
Although Donna is looking at the TV, her grin stretches across her face. “Oh, he's definitely thought about you .”
I feel my brows pull down lower in confusion. “What does that mean ?”
She turns partially on the couch so she's looking at me as well. “I just told him that you were coming back to town since you graduated and you should've seen the way his face lit up with that information. Dude, the guy has a hard on for you like nobody's business. I swear he's been carrying a torch for you since high school .”
“You're insane,” I say and laugh a little awkwardly. Although I knew Jake had a crush on me in high school, she makes it seem like he is still thinking about me, wanting me all these years later. That is a little unbelievable .
She shakes her head. “No, I'm not insane. The guy totally wants you. He even wanted me to give you his phone number so you guys could go out while you're in town.” She reaches for her cell and holds her hand out for mine .
I stare at her palm for a long second, wondering if contacting a guy I haven't spoken to in years, who may or may not desire me, is really a good idea .
Take the number. You need to stop lusting after a man who will probably never see you as anything more than that little girl who lost her father .
I close my eyes for a second and exhale. Truth is I'll never fully know if Carson wants me. I will never have the guts to actually ask him, to admit how I feel for him. Because I know as soon as I utter those words, things will change between us. I know lines will be crossed, and that uncomfortable, awkward relationship that I dread having with him will be established .
I hand over my phone and watch as she types in Jake's phone number. Besides, what's the worst thing that can happen? So I call him up and we go out and catch up on old times. It can't hurt, and it would be nice to see someone from back in the day .
But even thinking that, knowing that, I can't help but feel this uncomfortable sensation wash over me at the fact I'm contacting another guy. I've only ever wanted Carson, and even a friendly date with a guy I used to go to school with seems…wrong .
Chapter 5
Carson
I ’ve worked my ass off today, but it’s worth it. Owning a farm isn’t exactly a glamorous life. It’s a lot of hard work. But I have the cornfields planted in the north pasture, and I have the hay mowed and ready to be turned in a couple of days. That means as of tonight, I am free to enjoy the evening and all day tomorrow and tomorrow night with Jenny. She’s been a little distant since she came back from her friend’s. I made an effort to come in for lunch to see her, but she was in her room. Mavis said she had a migraine, so as much as it hurt me not to—I didn’t bother her .
Now, though, I’m dying to see her, to smell that familiar scent of vanilla when she’s in the room, to hear her laugh and to feel her head lie against my chest, while seeing the smile on her lips that haunts me every day. I throw on clean clothes, and run a quick comb through my damp hair, anxious as hell to get to her .
I expected to see her on the couch, watching one of those damn television shows she loves. I only keep cable because she likes it. I rarely get time to turn a television on. Hell, when she’s gone, I never touch it. Then again, when Jenny is not here I can’t bring myself to go in the living room. I stay in my office. The house feels empty without her. I feel empty without her .
I head into the living room, but to my disappointment the room is empty .
“Mavis!” I yell out, staring at the empty couch like a mad man—as if that will make her appear out of thin air .
“Yeah?” Mavis answers, doing a half walk, half jog from the kitchen .
“Where’s Jenny ?”
“Jenny? Why, she left for her date about an hour ago .”
Everything in me freezes at the sound of that. “Her date?” I ask, my voice coming out sharper than normal. Jenny is out on a fucking date? On the very night that was supposed to be m
ine? What the hell is going on here ?
The night that was supposed to be yours? Fuck, man, you haven’t had the balls to tell her how you feel .
“Yeah,” Mavis says, sounding very unhappy. “She went out with that Anderson boy. Jake I think his name is. I tried to talk her out of it, tried to get her to relax at home after her travels, but she wouldn’t listen.” Mavis purses her lips. “I don’t like that boy. Something about his eyes. They look beady. Don’t they look beady to you?” she rambles .
I’m not really paying attention to her. My brain seems to have stopped working the minute she said that Jenny was out on a date .
A fucking date .
I do know what boy she’s talking about. Jake Anderson is a lazy, good for nothing kid who would rather get his dick wet than do a minute’s worth of hard work. What in the hell is Jenny doing out with him ?
Jenny might deserve better than me, but she sure as hell deserves better than Jake Anderson. An image of that asshole touching my girl flashes in my mind and rage fills me. If he lays a finger on her, I’ll kill him. My hands curl into fists on their own accord and I squeeze them tight, trying to control myself. I need to be logical here. The problem is, when Jenny is involved, I’m rarely logical .
“Where did they go?” I bark out the question to Mavis. I see the way her pupils go round. I’ve shocked her. Am I betraying myself? Does she know how I feel about Jenny? I’ve done my best to keep it hidden, but I’m done with that. And acting like a fucking caveman right now is ensuring that she knows exactly my intentions for Jenny. Before tonight is over, everyone will know that Jenny is mine—especially Jake-fucking-Anderson .
“Carson, maybe — ”
“Where did he take her, Mavis?” I growl. Every minute that Mavis delays is another minute that little lazy asshole could be trying to force himself on Jenny. There’s no way she’d let him touch her willingly. I might be confused about the way Jenny is reacting now that she’s back home, but I’m not wrong about this .
I can’t be .
“She said they were going to Murphy’s Grill for dinner and then maybe a movie …”
“How long ago did she leave ?”
“ Boss — ”
“How long, Mavis?” I bark, very close to the end of my rope .
“About thirty minutes ago or so…” she whispers worriedly, wringing her hands. “You need to calm down, Carson. I’ve never seen you like this .”
Calming down was sure as shit not going to happen .
Thirty minutes ago… While I was in the shower she’d left with that little prick. She didn’t tell me she was leaving. She didn’t talk to me about canceling our night. She left with him while I was in the damn shower !
She should still be at Murphy’s. I grab my keys and turn toward the door. I have one thing on my mind, one fucking intention. Getting my woman back .
“Lord have mercy,” I hear Mavis whisper in the background .
If the Lord is listening, she better pray He has mercy on Jake Anderson. Because when I get Jenny back, I’m going to spank her until her ass glows bright red. And Jake ?
I’m going to kill that son of a bitch…with my bare hands .
Chapter 6
Virginia
I stare at Jake from across the table, feeling out of place, slightly uncomfortable. I sent him a text just this morning, even though I knew I shouldn’t have, and to my surprise he wanted to see me tonight. I should’ve postponed it, should’ve at least told Carson what I was doing and where I was going. But I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t want to tell him that I was going on a date .
Because admitting that to him, actually saying those words out loud, makes me feel like there really is no hope for me and the man that I really want .
“You barely touched dinner. Are you sure you’re okay?” Jake leans back in the booth and smiles .
“I’m fine. Maybe just still tired from traveling .”
That is a lie. I smile in return but it's a little bit forced. It doesn’t feel right being here with Jake, even though he’s been nice this evening .
He is a good looking guy, more with a boy-next-door kind of appearance, but I know better than that. I knew him from high school and how he really is. He has a wild streak, and although this town is full of hard-working people, Jake never really seemed to care about any of that .
“I’m really glad you agreed to come out with me tonight. I know it was short notice, but I’ll be honest.” He leans in and rests his forearms on the table, his smile widening. My skin tightens at that look, and I can’t explain why a creepy feeling washes over me. “I never stopped thinking about you, Virginia .”
I hate the way he says my full name. I’ve grown so used to Carson calling me Jenny that hearing Jake say my name makes me feel...gross in a way .
And then Jake reaches out and places his hand on top of mine. My entire body freezes, just tenses up. I want to pull my hand away, want to tell him that this isn’t going to work. It would be different if I knew he just wanted a friendly relationship. But the way he looks at me, the way I notice his gaze lingering over my breasts when he thinks I’m not paying attention, tells me he wants something more than just being my friend .
I’m about to pull my hand away and just be honest with Jake, tell him that I don’t want anything more than a platonic relationship. Hell, I will even admit that I’m in love with someone else. Because saying those words out loud to somebody else is the first step in me being honest and finally coming clean with Carson as well, right ?
But before I can take my hand away I hear a commotion at the front of the restaurant. I turn my head and look toward the front doors, feeling my eyes widen as I see the man I’m madly in love with looking around with wide, crazed eyes and an angry expression .
I’m about to stand up and go to Carson to see what’s going on, thinking maybe Mavis has been hurt, or maybe there is some other bad news which would make him come to the restaurant and find me .
But just as I’m about to stand I feel Jake add pressure to the hand he has over mine. And then Carson looks right at me, our gazes locking, his expression intent, possessive. I feel a light brush on my lips and snap my attention to Jake. I can feel his thumb running a small circle around my cheek, right next to my mouth. I look over at Carson again just in time to see him storming over, his gaze narrowed and trained right on Jake .
Oh God. I may not understand what’s going on, but I know that look Carson is wearing. Shit is definitely about to hit the fan .
Chapter 7
Carson
I t’s as if this violent beast breaks free inside of me. I see that little asshole reach out and touch Jenny. The very thought of him putting his hands on my woman has this territorial need inside me rising up. I want to beat his fucking ass. I want him to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she is mine .
I see Jenny‘s eyes widen, see her body straighten. I have no doubt she notices a change in me, probably wondering what in the hell I’m doing barreling toward her and that little prick. He still has his hands on my girl, oblivious to the fact I’m coming right for him. I see Jenny‘s mouth open and close, but she is still staring at me. I doubt she said anything to him. I doubt she’s warned him .
I doubt she knows what’s going to happen… But she will .
And then I’m right beside the table. I’m seeing red, can’t focus on anything but how I feel in this moment. Possessiveness swirls inside of me, makes me a fiend. I find myself reaching out and grabbing his arm, pulling it away from where his hand is touching Jenny. It’s as if I’m in someone else’s body, not able to control myself with rationalization .
He looks over at me, the confusion on his face clear. And then I’m hauling him out of the booth. I can hear Jenny’s voice but can’t make out what she’s saying. I’m too pissed in this moment .
“Don’t ever fucking touch what’s mine.” I hear the growl in my words, and my focus is trained right on the asshole. The guy is nothing to be
threatened over, but that doesn’t mean I want him touching Jenny .
“Carson?” I look over at her then, the shock in her voice clear. Jenny’s eyes are as wide as saucers and I realize what I said out loud. But I want her to know anyway. It’s just I didn’t envision the revelation going this way .
I look back at the guy I’m holding by the collar and narrow my eyes at him. “Do you understand what I’m saying ?”
The guy nods and I can see the fear in his eyes. Good. I let go of him and he stumbles back, landing on his ass in the booth. I turn and look at Jenny for a suspended second, then reach out and take her hand in mine. I’m not oblivious to the fact that people are staring at us, or that the cops have probably already been called .
I haul her out of there and once we are outside I head straight for my truck. My heart is thundering and the blood is rushing through my veins. The feel of Jenny tugging her hand from mine has me stopping and turning to face her .
“What the hell, Carson?” She’s breathing hard, and I can see she’s confused and flustered. I hate that I’m the one who’s made her feel this way .
I exhale roughly and run a hand through my hair. I was like a caveman in there, which isn’t how I typically act. I am easy-going, and don’t let shit bother me. But when it comes to Jenny I can’t let it go. I can’t let the fact she is with another guy roll off my shoulders .
“We have a lot of shit to talk about.” I finally say the words and stare in her eyes. She doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even move .
“Yeah, we really do,” she finally says and closes her eyes. I can see her take a deep breath in. She glances back at the restaurant and I wonder if she’s thinking about going back in there and making sure the little asshole is okay .
I wouldn’t blame her .