Finding You

by Stella Rainbow

  “My pleasure,” Scott said before handing me the final package. It felt like another piece of clothing so I quickly unwrapped it before shaking it out. My eyed widened as I realized what it was. It was a crop top with black and blue stripes. The sleeves would come to my elbow while the top itself would end somewhere at the base of my ribs. I looked up at Scott to see him biting his lip and watching me nervously.

  “A crop top?”

  “Well, I’m guessing the tattoo you got is gorgeous and I thought you might wanna show it off. You could wear it when we go out if you wanted or you could just wear it around the house if you’d prefer that,” Scott said with a shrug. I watched him for a moment before getting to my feet, realizing my perfect moment was here.

  “L-Luke?” He stammered as he clambered to get up.

  “Give me a minute,” I said before rushing off into our bedroom. I closed the door before unwrapping my scarf and removing my sweater. I stared at the crop top for a second before donning it. It was the perfect size. Next, I walked into the bathroom and carefully removed the dressings on my tattoos. I grinned at the reflection before rushing into the bedroom. I wrapped the scarf around my neck again before taking a deep breath and walking outside. Scott was pacing in the living room when I walked in and I realized I probably shouldn’t have left the way I did.

  “Scott?” I said and Scott whirled towards me, his mouth open, probably about to say something. He clamped his mouth shut as his eyes fell on me and he examined me from head to toe.

  He walked closer before grabbing my hands from where I’d crossed them before my stomach and examining my tattoos. “Vine?”

  He didn’t remember?

  “On our first hike, you-”

  “The tiara!” Scott gasped as he looked up at me. I nodded.

  “That day, for the first time, you made me realize that I was still beautiful, that Marcus hadn’t taken everything from me. You gave me…hope.”

  “I didn’t realize how much that meant to you.”

  I smiled at him softly and he pressed a kiss on my lips before moving my hands to my side. He pulled back and gasped as his eyes fell on my abdomen. “It’s the phoenix from Harry Potter, isn’t it?”

  I nodded, happy that he’d recognized it, “I wanted a phoenix because it symbolizes rebirth, but I also wanted something that represented my bookish side. So I picked the Phoenix illustration from the books.”

  “It’s perfect.” Scott whispered as he traced the outline with his finger. I shivered at the soft touch and he looked up at me and swallowed hard. “Luke, I want to…I want to worship your body. Every beautiful inch of it. Can I?”

  I gulped as I stared into his deep, soulful eyes. I trusted Scott more than I trusted myself. He’d never hurt me. So I took a deep breath and nodded. Scott pressed forward until my back was against the wall before claiming my lips. And for the first time, I gave over the control to him. I trusted Scott to take care of me and I wasn’t scared anymore. I knew I could give myself over to him and he’d never ever hurt me.

  He kissed me deeply, his tongue laying claim to my mouth as it tasted me. One of his hands curled around the back of my head as he kissed me, and my heart warmed as I realized it was so I wouldn’t bang my head against the wall. His other hand roamed over my body, touching every bare inch of me before gripping my hip and pulling me closer. I moaned against his mouth as our erections pressed together, my eyes drifting close at the sensation.

  Scott pulled away from me on a gasp, resting his forehead against mine as we both tried to catch our breaths. “Bedroom?” He asked and I nodded, still too breathless to speak. He grabbed my hand and I followed him into the bedroom. The room was bright enough from the window and the fairy lights I’d twined around the headrest, so Scott led me straight to the bed. I sat on the edge before backing away and making space for Scott. He climbed up on the bed before sitting on his knees and watching me as I lay down. He ran his fingers over my cheek as he stared into my eyes, “At any moment, if it’s too much, you say stop and we stop, okay? No questions. I’ll stop and we’ll just cuddle for a bit. Okay?”

  I nodded and smiled at him to let him know that I understood. Scott leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, his body slowly enveloping mine even though he made sure to keep his weight off of me. This kiss was much sweeter but no less intense than the one in the hallway. I felt as if Scott was touching every part of me, even though both of his hands were cradling my head. He pulled away enough to look into my eyes as he pulled his hands away, “I’m going to taste all of you. Every inch of you.” He whispered against my lips and I shivered as my body heated up in reply. He gave me a soft smile before leaning up and kissing my forehead. Then he kissed my temples, my eyelids, the tip of my nose, my cheeks, my chin and my jaw before returning to my lips. After another heated kiss, he moved downward and kissed my neck, licking and sucking at the sensitive spot he discovered beneath my ear. I moaned at the heady sensation, surprised at how good it felt and how much my body wanted more.

  Scott moved further back until he had my hand in his. He kissed each of my knuckles before pulling my fingers into his mouth and licking and sucking on them one by one, making me groan as my body heated up with the need for more. He traced my new tattoo with his lips and tongue, slowly moving upwards. I giggled when his tongue danced in the crook of my elbow and he grinned at me before repeating everything on my other hand. Once he was done, he leaned back to look at me as he traced the hem of my crop top, goosebumps appearing on my skin wherever his fingers touched. “You look gorgeous in this, but I want to see all of you. Can I remove it?”

  “Yes,” I whispered because I had a feeling Scott needed the words. He gave me a bright smile before grabbing the hem of my shirt. I raised my arms up to help him out and he pulled the top off, dislodging my bun as he removed it. He tucked my hair away from my face, running his fingers across my scalp as he did and I had the urge to purr like Tressa did when I petted her. His fingers followed the trail of my hair to my neck and then my shoulders. He picked up kissing and licking my arms above my elbow until he reached my shoulders. He gave me a pointed look before leaning down and running his tongue oh-so-lightly over my left nipple. I almost shot off the bed right then at how good that felt. A groan left my lips as Scott continued to lick and suck the nipple, driving me crazy with each touch. “Scott!” I moaned, not sure what I wanted. But I did know that I didn’t want him to stop.

  Scott pulled away but quickly switched to my other nipple and gave it the same treatment. My hard-on was pressing against my pants, leaking precum and I was sure there was a huge wet spot on the front. “Scott, please!”

  Scott leaned back to look into my eyes as his hands went to the waistband of my pants, a question in his eyes. I nodded, hoping he wouldn’t ask me to speak because it seemed physically impossible at the moment. He smiled and leaned forward to give me a deep, thorough kiss before he pulled back and slowly pulled my pants and my underwear down my legs. His eyes went straight to my leaking cock and he licked his lips as he removed my pants and threw them somewhere behind him. He shuffled backwards until he was at the foot of the bed and my eyes widened as I realized he wasn’t done with the breathtaking torture yet. He took my foot in his hand before sucking my little toe. I was shocked at how good that felt. I’d never thought that feet could be a turn on in any way, but I’d been wrong. Obviously.

  By the time Scott licked and sucked and kissed his way up my legs, I was a moaning, sweaty mess. I was almost crying for some relief at this point. “Scott, please!” I moaned as he sucked a hickey on my inner thigh. Scott looked up at me and stared into my eyes as he finally, finally ran his tongue on the tip of my dick, licking off the precum gathered there. I groaned long and loud at finally getting the touch I’d so desperately been wanting. I almost came when Scott swallowed me down whole in one go and the absolute heat of his mouth surrounded my dick. He pulled back as he licked and sucked my dick, one of his hands playing with my balls while the other
ran up and down my thigh. One of his fingers traced my hole and my breath caught in my throat. Scott must’ve seen my reaction because his finger moved back immediately and his hand pulled away from my thigh to grip my cock. He pumped me at a steady pace as his tongue played with my slit, his lips surrounding the head of my cock, pushing me closer and closer over the edge.

  I moaned loudly and maybe screamed Scott’s name as I came, my breathing harsh and my orgasm so strong I almost blacked out for a few seconds. When I came to, Scott was licking the sides of my dick, making sure I was clean. He pressed a kiss on my inner thigh before shuffling forward and pulling me into his arms. It was only then that I realized that he was still fully clothed and hard. I ran my fingers over his erection, and tried to push away the sleepy haze that was trying to pull me under now that the excitement was over. “I should…” I mumbled, but Scott pulled my hand away, curling it around his torso instead as he kissed my forehead. “No need. I wanted to do that for you. How about a nap, huh? Then we’ll do the movies and stuff.”

  I nodded as I pressed my face into the soft sweater I’d made for Scott, one that was already smelling like him, like home. Scott covered me with a blanket before pulling me close and hugging me tight to him. I closed my eyes and let the comfort of his arms drag me under. Best Christmas day ever.

  31 | Luke

  April

  I looked at my watch as I finished getting dinner ready, realizing Scott would be home soon. I couldn’t believe it was almost a year since I met the man I’ve fallen in love with. A year ago, I hadn’t believed myself to be capable of falling in love, much less finding a person who’d love me despite all of my issues and baggage. And then I met Scott, and everything changed for all the right reasons.

  I was happier than ever. I had everything I’d ever wanted. A place I could call home, a cat who loved me, a job I loved, friends who cared about me and a man who would do anything to keep me happy and safe. I didn’t want to jinx it, but there was no way life could get better than this.

  I smiled to myself as I laid down on the couch to wait for Scott to come home. We’d finished the book we’d been reading yesterday and I was hoping to just cuddle up with a movie tonight, because nothing felt better than laying beside Scott on the couch with his arms curled around me, keeping me safe from everything.

  A loud knocking sound jarred me out of my thoughts and it took me a moment to realize that someone was at the front door. Who could it be? Did Scott lose his key or something? But I couldn’t imagine Scott being careless like that.

  The person banged on the door again, and I stumbled to my feet and over to the door. I leaned over to peek through the peephole and froze. No.

  I stumbled backward, my heart thundering in my chest. He couldn’t be here. Why was he here? How could he be here?

  I remembered I had my phone in my pocket and dialed the one person who popped into my head, even as my heart threatened to jump out of my chest. Not again. Not again. Not again.

  “Hey, Lu. I’ll be home in a few, what’s up?”

  “He-He’s here.” My voice was barely a whisper but it was a testament to how well he understood me that he instantly knew who I was talking about.

  “Shit. Stay calm and stay with me, okay? Where are you?”

  “Home. He’s banging on the door. I’m so scared, Scott.” My voice trembled as I spoke. My whole body did.

  “Shhh...It’s okay, Lu. I’ll be there in a few. Do this for me. Go into the kitchen, grab a knife.”

  “W-what?”

  “Do it, Lu. Grab a knife, then go into the bedroom and lock yourself in. Then go into the bathroom and do the same. Can you do that for me?”

  I nodded before remembering I was on the phone, “Y-Yes.” I followed his order as he stayed on the line. I grabbed the knife and then picked up Tressa from where she was lounging on the back of the couch. Once I’d locked myself in the bathroom, I let him know.

  “Good. Now, I’m ending this call to call the cops but I’ll dial you back as soon as I’m done, okay?”

  “Yeah.” My voice was barely a whisper and I was finding it hard to breathe.

  “Okay, be right back.” And before I could tell him I loved him, he ended the call.

  I sank to my knees on the bathroom floor, pressing my back against the wall as shudders wrecked through my body. I knew a panic attack would be here at any moment and I’d be able to do nothing but suffer through it. My phone buzzed in my hand just as a voice came from the living room, “Lukey boy, where are you? I just wanna talk.”

  The voice was exactly like I remembered, and suddenly, nothing had changed. He’d come into the room and hurt me again and I’d be able to do nothing to stop him.

  My phone buzzed again and my eyes fell on my phone where I’d dropped it and I realized I was wrong. I wasn’t alone anymore. And Scott would keep me safe. He’d promised he would.

  Crawling forward, I grabbed the phone before pressing myself against the wall. Tressa moved into my lap and gave me a look as if trying to comfort me. I curled myself around her, hoping I could be as calm as her. I pressed the phone to my ear and tears slipped free when I heard Scott’s voice. “Luke? You okay?”

  I couldn’t say anything around the panic clogging my throat and let out a whimper, my breaths getting more and more erratic.

  “Hey, it’s gonna be fine, okay? I’m nearly there and I can see the cop cars. They’ll be there any minute now. I need you to breathe with me, Lu. Can you do that?”

  I couldn’t speak but I forced myself to copy his breathing even as I heard a shout and scuffling sounds outside. I ignored them and focused on Scott’s breathing, my own heart calming as I followed his lead.

  “I’m coming up the stairs now, just a minute, sweetie,” Scott said and I could hear him rushing up the stairs.

  “I’ll be right in,” Scott said in a firm voice before ending the call. I waited for him, breathing deeply in order to stave off another panic attack.

  I heard the bedroom door click open and then soft footfalls approaching the bathroom door.

  “Luke?” Scott’s soft voice was enough to propel me to my feet and have me rushing to open the door. As soon as I had the door open, I fell into Scott’s arms, letting him hold my weight as I clung to him. I pressed my face in the crook of his neck and let the tears flow. I was so tired of holding them in, tired of the pain, tired of the fear. I’d thought I was done, that I was finally safe, that I could finally be happy.

  “Shh...you’re okay, babe. You’re safe. The police have him. Don’t worry.”

  I nodded, but before I could say anything in reply, I heard him shout from the living room, “I just wanted to apologize, goddammit! Luke, I wanted to say I’m sorry for ruining your life! I can make it better, I promise!”

  I froze as I processed his words and pulled away from Scott. “Luke?” Scott’s voice was soft, love, worry and concern shining through his gaze. I took his hand in mine before walking out of the bedroom.

  Marcus was slumped over on the living room floor, hands cuffed behind his back. There was a boot print on his pristine white shirt that didn’t look like something the cops would do. My eyes flicked to my boyfriend and my heart warmed when I saw the way he was glaring at Marcus. Scott was wearing boots. A small smile appeared on my face as I shook my head and turned back to look at Marcus.

  The younger one of the two officers was saying something about violation of a restraining order but I wasn’t really hearing him. My thoughts were still on what I’d heard Marcus shout. When I looked at him now, all I saw was a pathetic excuse of a being and suddenly it was just a bit easier to manage the pain. As if my brain and my heart finally acknowledged the fact that he couldn’t hurt me anymore.

  I leaned forward until he met my eyes and I remembered all the pain, all the fear he’d put me through as I curled my hand into a fist and slammed it against his face. He made a pitiful noise as his nose started to bleed and I glared at him.

  “Get over yourself, Marcu
s. You didn’t ruin my life.” I wanted to say more. I wanted to tell him that I’d found true love, that I was happier than I’d ever been and if I had to go through all that shit with him again and again to get there, to find Scott, then I would.

  But I didn’t say anything, just pulled back and let Scott hold me in his arms, safe and warm as always.

  “That was a good one, son.” The older cop said with a rough chuckle. I looked up at him, giving him a small smile. He looked kind of familiar to me, though I wasn’t sure if I’d met him before. He was in his early fifties, I guessed, with salt and pepper hair and light blue eyes and a square, stern jaw that was at odds with the sweet smile he was giving me.

  The younger officer raised his brow at the man in reprimand and the officer shook his head before giving me a sad smile, “I saw what the bastard did to this man, Al. He deserves more than a fucking broken nose.” The older office—Officer Whitby, I suddenly remembered—said, glaring at Marcus.

  I sank back into Scott as I remembered exactly why the man had seemed so familiar. He’d been the one who’d worked on my case before, the man who had come to the hospital to interview me. Those days were pretty hazy in my mind, full of pain and people wanting to talk to me.

  Officer Whitby gave me a nod as he saw the realization on my face, but didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he asked us to give our statements of what had happened so we could be done with this whole incident.

  Once I’d told them everything, they wished us a goodnight and headed out the door. Just before they left, Officer Whitby turned around and gave me a smile, “I’m so glad you found your happiness, kid. Stay safe.”

  After they were gone, Scott pulled me over to the couch in the living room. He lay down on the couch before pulling me down so I was lying on top of him, my cheek pressed against his heart and my arms around his waist. I let the steady beats of his heart calm me as he ran his fingers through my hair, knowing just what I needed like always.