Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy)

by Shandwick, K. L.

  He whispered into my throat, “Go for it girl.” He sucked hard on my clit, while moving his fingers inside me rapidly.

  I felt lightheaded and held my breath as my orgasm tore through me. I came so hard, bucking and thrashing, my head thrust forward, and I screamed his name, “Alfie!”

  He watched me, and smiled, as I continued to ride out my climax, almost forcing Alfie’s fingers out of me. He sat up, wiped his mouth, and smirked at me, then announced loudly, “Vanilla sex, my version anyway.”

  Alfie rolled over onto his back and pulled me to him; still erect, but in no hurry to finish off. He peered over at me, “You okay?” I nodded and gave him a weak smile.

  He rubbed my arm and drew small circles on it with his thumb, as I lay my head over his chest. I heard his heart beating strong and steady.

  We lay in silence for a few minutes until I spoke. “What are you thinking?” I felt an immediate pang of regret after I asked him, because I suddenly wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. I was beginning to think he didn’t want to continue, as he hadn’t completed what he’d wanted me here for.

  “You want to know…seriously? Lily, I don’t know what you’re doing here with me.” I was stunned.

  “What do you mean?” He turned his head to look at me.

  “You…you are so fucking incredible. You don’t need to be with me. You can have any guy you want out there. Trust me… I’ve seen how men look at you.” I wasn’t expecting that at all. I pulled back and perched myself on one elbow to look at him.

  “I thought we had an understanding. I don’t want any other guys, I’m happy as things are, now that you’ve explained your ignoring tactics. You’re exaggerating how attractive I am.”

  He stared at me, then slowly moved a strand of hair off my forehead, and sighed heavily. “I can’t love you, Lily. You should be with someone that can give you everything.” I swallowed hard. It was difficult to hear him say that to me, especially when I was forming an attachment to him.

  “I won’t love you Alfie; isn’t this why we are doing this?” I held his gaze and his eyes narrowed a little, then he moved and kissed my neck. I wondered if he was hiding any real feelings he had. Maybe he was trying to let me down gently?

  “Alfie, if you don’t want to do this just say and I’ll leave.” As soon as I said it, I was afraid of his response. Would I be able to just up and leave without another word?

  “Can I have a minute?” he said, lying back and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. His breathing was a little deeper as he seemed to struggle with his feelings.

  I debated whether to get dressed, because I felt he was going to blow me out. He rolled toward me, and drew his index finger down my belly slowly and gently before he spoke. “Lily, sweetheart…”

  I swallowed hard, and tears were beginning to form in my eyes. I blinked hard and put my head down fighting them back.

  He sighed. “Lily, you are the whole package, the whole fucking package.” He trembled a little. “You’re beautiful, intelligent, funny, playful, a fucking goddess in the bedroom and too fucking sweet and innocent to do this.”

  I was annoyed that he was judging me. “Is that so? Why did you ask me then? You know nothing about me Alfie. I don’t want to be in a long-term relationship right now. Your offer wouldn’t have appealed to me if I did.”

  Alfie lay on his back again, and stared at the ceiling. Then turned and met my gaze again, holding it. “Tonight… you were so fucking hot tonight. I almost came just watching you in those heels, playing that fucking guitar. You play amazingly. I want to play with you, by the way.” He smiled shaking his head in disbelief.

  I didn’t know what to say, but I blushed that he was paying me compliments about my music and how I looked. I have heard comments about how I looked all my life, but they meant more coming from him, like I craved his approval. “You can do so much better than me, Lily. Don’t waste your time with me, honey.”

  I felt panicked. I really didn’t want this to end this with him. “If you want out, just say.” I threw back at him. When his eyes darted at me, I knew he didn’t feel that way because of the way his eyes snapped to mine when I said it.

  “I’m in. Only if you insist you’re sure,” he said quickly. There was another silence.

  Alfie’s next question was totally unexpected. “So what’s the deal with Will, are you fucking him as well?” I sat up and gave him an incredulous look, hurt that he could think that of me.

  “Where has that come from? I’m not a slut, Alfie.” I wasn’t prepared for that at all. “Anyway, isn’t the deal we can fuck whoever we want with no strings?” I felt so hurt that he could think that, but I wasn’t going to show it.

  Alfie perched himself up on one elbow saying, “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to make you feel you were under the microscope. I was curious, that’s all. I want someone on my level, and I believe now that you are. I’m more than happy with things.”

  He immediately lightened the mood. “Come on.” He pulled me up off of the bed, and into the bathroom.

  It didn’t escape me that he’d diverted the conversation, but I was curious as to why he thought that about Will and me. After him saying that, I wasn’t sure we’d be doing this for much longer.

  “It’s time to get clean,” he stated, darting back to his bedroom and returning with the champagne bottle and a couple of condoms from his pants.

  He turned on the shower, and pulled me into the shower with him. “Come on, you need a scrub, you’re a very dirty girl,” he said playfully, swatting my ass. I wasn’t turned on at all, but as soon as he was peppering my neck with kisses again under the shower, I turned into a panting mess in no time. The guy turned me on like a faucet.

  He took a face cloth and lathered it with bodywash. He turned me away from him and began washing my back. It felt amazing as the soft, satiny bubbles cascaded down my body. The cloth soon dipped under my arms and over my breasts as he held me to him with one hand in front of my belly.

  I could feel his hard cock grow and press into my lower back. This only increased my arousal, along with the fact that the cloth was now dipping between my legs, as he washed the most sensitive areas of my body.

  Strangely, I found the act of him washing me more intimate than anything else we had done already. It was odd, given that he didn’t do emotions. He certainly made me feel quite emotional when he took take care of me like this.

  I took the cloth from him and repeated his actions, washing the sticky ice cream away. I smoothed his long cock, which felt so silky soft but so ridged at the same time, as I stroked the soap bubbles over it.

  As I was doing this, I saw some feeling in him that he would never admit to. There were fleeting torturous looks, longing and affection in his eyes. He kept leaning into me, burying his face in my neck, breaking eye contact before I could fully recognize what he was feeling.

  I cupped my hands and washed the soap away and crouched down taking his cock in my mouth, sucking gently. He threw his head back against the tiles with a dull thud, his face skyward. His lips parted in his own moment, and he moaned softly, “Oh honey, damn… I… God,” then hitched his breath letting it go in a slow hiss.

  He tugged at my arms, pulling me up and shook himself dry with the towel before reaching over, and tearing a foil packet with his teeth.

  He rolled the condom down his shaft with care. His breathing was ragged as he looked into my eyes. “Sexy girl,” he cooed and dipped his head, resting his forehead on mine before closing his eyes for a few seconds.

  CHAPTER 15: MY TWO MEN

  Alfie dipped down and picked me up, pushingme against the cold tile wall of the shower. He held my ass cheeks, then lowered me on to him. I glided slowly down the length of him as he sank himself deep inside of me. “Oh, God… your little pussy is so tight,” he growled.

  “Fuck,” I gasped as he filled me to my core.

  He leaned back, holding my gaze as he thrust leisurely in and out of me.
“You don’t have to stroke my ego by calling me your god,” he teased jokingly.

  My eyes widened and he smiled. I smiled back and dropped my head to his shoulder. Alfie held me while I made soft, barely there sounds, moaning with pleasure.

  His movements inside me were slow and unhurried. He kissed my neck and mouth, then after a while he began to increase his speed. I was bobbing up and down, his strong arms holding me in place.

  He began chuckling softly at the noises I was making, some from the ecstasy I was feeling, some from giggling as it tickled. Alfie scolded me, “Stop it, Lily, I’m getting tickly.”

  He moved faster and harder, then slowed up a little to make it last. As my muscles began to clench around his thick cock, he began fucking me as hard as the shower and his strength of holding me up would allow.

  He was grunting loudly. “Don’t stop, Alfie, yeah, just like that, just like that…” When we both came we were breathlessly clinging to each other.

  “Lily, fuck.” His head crumpled into my neck and he growled, “Goddammit.”

  He leaned into me, still supporting me against the tile wall with just his body, his hands now against the wall. We stayed there for a minute, still breathless and panting hard.

  He slowly slid out and carefully placed me down, before sliding us to sit on the shower floor. He turned and kissed my head and pulled me close for a hug.

  Alfie recovered quicker than the previous times, and he stood up and stepped out of the shower. He dried himself off, wrapped the towel around his waist, and left the bathroom without speaking to me.

  When I came out of the bathroom to look for my clothes, he had flipped the mattress over and was making the bed with fresh sheets.

  I began picking up my clothing and he turned to look at me. “You don’t have to go home, it’s really late.” I didn’t know what to say, so continued to pick my things up off of the floor. “Stay, I’d like you to stay,” he sighed.

  “Why?” I think I meant to think this, but it came out anyway.

  Alfie ran his hand through his hair. “We both know what this is, Lily. It’s just that I don’t want to think of you running around at all hours because of me.” I stood and watched him make the bed, not sure of what to do.

  When he finished what he was doing, he slipped between the sheets and patted the bed. “Come on Lily, it’s really late, and we don’t have to get up early in the morning. Wouldn’t you prefer to snuggle than having that ride back?”

  I was tired and curious to know him better. If I stayed would I learn more about why he was like he was? I nodded. “No sex though,” I warned as I crawled into bed and hugged myself. Alfie made no attempt to touch me, despite his enticement of snuggling to get me to stay.

  He turned his back to me, and I felt disappointed. The mixed messages he sent me were messing with my head. Within a few minutes I could hear his slow, even breaths. Alfie had already fallen asleep.

  I sighed, thinking I should have gone home. Instead, I was lying next to this stunningly handsome complex man who took my breath away, and I know I’m in denial now, because it would be really easy to want more with him.

  He was this amazing guy who connected with me physically like no one else ever had. Made me want to do things I never would have dreamed I would. I could have him in my bed whenever I wanted him to be.

  The snag was with no strings attached. My heart cracked a little when I admitted this to myself, because I knew that ultimately I wanted the whole hearts-and-flowers romance.

  I was a world away from that with him and found myself getting upset when I realized I’d never have that with him. Alfie’s attitude toward sex slightly perturbed me, with his lack of emotion and his charm that switched on in private and off in public.

  I found myself wondering if something had happened to him, for him to be so adamant about not getting into a relationship. He may just be detached and disassociated from his feelings. I nestled down in the bed, pulling the comforter up under my chin.

  I knew before we started this that it wouldn’t last, but I’d been foolish to think I could handle something like this.

  I turned to face him because this was the side I usually fell asleep on. When I did this I could feel his body heat radiate toward me. The smell of his fresh bodywash on his just showered body drew me to him, and it took everything I had not to slip my arms around him and nuzzle close.

  A tear rolled down my face as I thought about the fact that we could enjoy each other’s bodies in the ways that we did, but a caress without sex was unacceptable as it intimated affection.

  “You’ve ruined me.” The words of a barely there whisper from a dream I didn’t recall having woke me up. I had a headache; my throat and mouth felt dry from the champagne.

  I remembered where I was, and it was so hot. Alfie’s legs and arms were tangled around me. He was cuddling me, his arms wrapped firmly around me, one hand softly caressing my ass cheek.

  My face was buried in his chest, my arm draped over his hip. I swallowed hard and lay there for a few minutes, listening to his steady heartbeat and smelling his scent.

  I enjoyed the feel of his soft skin. His deep breaths wafted over my forehead, as he slept. I peered up trying not to disturb him. His beautiful features were relaxed, and he looked peaceful.

  His lips looked so succulent I wanted to press mine against them while he slept. I tried to free myself and his eyes fluttered, he tightened his grip, readjusting himself, to get me closer. His hand slid up to cover my lower back, keeping me in place.

  He opened his eyes slowly but made no attempt to free me. “Hey,” he cooed and smiled slowly as he looked down at me. He pulled me back into him. His erection stirred on my belly when he did this.

  It was too comfortable lying beside him though. It felt so right and wrong at the same time. I was in danger of tearing up so I pushed free of him. “I need to use the bathroom.” I rolled over and pushed myself off of the mattress.

  I sat on the toilet with my head in my hands and wished I hadn’t stayed over, facing an awkward morning-after thing, and my clothes were still on his bedroom floor.

  I considered asking him to pass them into me, but I knew that would just make a bigger deal of things. So I cracked the bathroom door open and stepped back into his room. I picked up my clothes and began to dress. “Hey… what’s the hurry, honey?”

  “I want to get home, Alfie. I have stuff to do today.” He looked disappointed but didn’t try to dissuade me from leaving. “Can you call me a cab?” I tried to make my mood sound light when I asked this.

  “Okay, you’re a cab… is this a new fetish?” he smirked.

  When he saw that I wasn’t laughing, he sighed. “I’ll take you home, Lily.”

  I shook my head. “I’d rather go by cab.” Again, he didn’t push it.

  Throwing back the sheets, he got off the bed, and began walking around naked, his morning wood standing proud. When he found his tablet, he looked up, found a number, then dialed it on his cell.

  He took some jeans out of the closet, pulled them on, and disappeared downstairs, leaving me to finish putting my outfit on. When I went down, he was in the kitchen, the radio playing, and he was busy singing along and making himself an omelette.

  He twisted around to see me, switched the stove off, and leaned against the counter. His gaze followed me coming down the staircase. “Thank you for last night. I had a great time with you.” He folded his arms over his chest, rubbing his left pectoral muscle, and he smiled at me.

  I don’t know why, but I sounded cold. “No, problem Alfie, I had a good time too.” His smile slipped for a moment, but was soon back in place as he moved toward me and put his arms around my waist.

  “Why don’t you spend the day here?” I felt it was a strange offer, especially with the no-strings aspect of us. I would have stayed in a heartbeat, if I thought that he felt anything toward me.

  But he didn’t. “Well, maybe this is all you can think of, but I have other stuff that h
olds my attention just as much,” I teased, trying to sound lighthearted. “Besides, I’m meeting Will later. We have some stuff to discuss.”

  As I was saying this, the cab he’d called for me pulled up. Before he could come over in my direction again, I was out the door and seated in the cab.

  He stood holding his front door. His head turned and followed the cab until I lost sight of him. I sat back in the seat and let out a huge sigh, closing my eyes. This didn’t feel as uncomplicated as I had expected it to. I made a note not to stay over again.

  I arrived back at the apartment shortly before Holly and was freshly showered, sitting in my bathrobe, when she opened the front door. She was sneaking in with her shoes under her arms and froze when she saw me.

  I burst out laughing. “What are you like? Where have you been?” I asked, still giggling. Holly rolled her eyes.

  “Oh, honey, I’ve been in heaven.” Then she laughed so loudly, I had to shush her so we wouldn’t get any complaints from the neighbors.

  “Okay, come on, dish the dirt,” I said.

  “Well, honey, I’m not sure I want to share with y’all yet,” she teased. I scowled and crossed my arms.

  “Holly, you have been complaining like a drain that we’ve all been having orgasms and you were in Arizona, or somewhere, remember?”

  Smirking, she raised her eyebrow. “I was?”

  I started laughing and waved my hand away. “Okay, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. Please keep your sordid details to yourself.”

  She grinned, and pretended to look dejected. “Oh, that’s not fair, I do want to tell you!” I twisted my lips as if I was considering whether or not to allow her to do this.

  “Okay, let’s top up the orange juice, grab some toast, and I’ll feel like I’m at the movies.” She chuckled at me.

  “Go do that honey, I need to pee, be right back.” And she sashayed off to the bathroom.

  We settled down to breakfast, and Holly gave her account of last night. “Well, Brett, as you know is gorgeous, six feet three inches, big dick, big hands, big…” I giggled.