Milk Maid in Heaven

by Samantha Jillian Bayarr

  Emily forced a smile. “My father says you’re a good man, but I’ll be honest with you—I’ll need to see for myself how well you work.”

  “Well then I don’t intend to let you down either, Miss—Emily.”

  Mitch whistled happily as he exited the office.

  ****

  Emily did paperwork while glancing out the office window occasionally to spy on Mitch. She watched as he patted each cow in the parlor on the head and could hardly believe that each one wagged their tales like dogs when he stopped at their stalls. She found it difficult to keep her mind on the ordering sheet that needed to be called in by nine o’clock. No, she wasn’t worried about supplies at that moment; she was preoccupied with watching Mitch. Though he was handsome, that didn’t really matter. He seemed to hold a certain quality unlike no other man she’d ever met. He was so warm and friendly, she was nearly beside herself with questions of “what if”.

  ****

  By Friday, Mitch had gotten used to his new schedule, but some of the prisoners still rebelled against his authority over them. Switching to days had been a good transition, but this morning for some reason, he was having a difficult time staying awake. In a dazed state, Mitch began to hear the slow hissing of the vacuum milkers, indicating they were slowly releasing themselves from the cows utters. He cued up the automated cleaning system that cleaned the machinery after each milking with very hot water. After checking the pressure and temperature gauge, he lifted the gate so the cows could exit the building before the system was flushed. The barns-men walked the cows back to the holding area until they could be put back out to pasture.

  After Mitch turned off the valves to the cleaning system, the barns-men brought in the next thirty cows that had been waiting to be milked. Though there were still several remaining sets to be milked yet this morning, Mitch went through the motions though his mind was not on his work—he worried about Ethan. He occasionally looked up at Emily through the office window, who appeared to be working very hard. This time as he stole yet another glance he caught sight of her eyes that glistened with tears. His first instinct was to walk into the office and inquire as to what was bothering her, but instead, remained where he was, unsure of how to approach her. He wanted to hold her close to him and allow her the liberty of crying on his shoulder. His own heart ached for Ethan, and he wanted to comfort Emily through her heartache as well.

  Before he realized, he was ushering out the fifth set of freshly milked cows for the morning to be placed in the holding area. With the barns-men now outside with the cows, Emily exited the office and slowly made her way down the hall to where Mitch was standing, her face red from crying.

  Mitch removed his hat to keep his hands from reaching out to her. “Are you okay?”

  “No. I’m not and neither is my father. I’m so frightened that he isn’t going to get well. And I have to interview nurses to take care of him.” Emily pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped away her tears. “I just don’t know enough about the company to hold it together on my own. It looks like I’m going to have to quit school right before graduation, so I won’t even have my degree. I need to go back to take my finals, but I don’t want to let my father down.”

  Mitch continued to suppress the urge to comfort her by twisting his hat in his hands. “Don’t sell yourself short, Emily, you’ll do fine. You’ve lived around this all your life and watched your father work throughout the years. The business side you learned in college; all you need now is a little confidence. I’ll be here with your father if you need to return to college. You’re too close to give up now. And I doubt your father could live with himself if you gave up your graduation for him.”

  Emily began to bawl harder, frightening Mitch into thinking he said something wrong. “None of those things really matter. I’m afraid my father is going to die without knowing God.”

  Her boldness shocked him. Mitch took her arms and forced her to look at him. “I promise you, Emily, I will never let that happen. Your father is the best friend I’ve ever had and I’ve already talked to him about the bible and God’s offer of salvation—I have been for about a year, now.”

  “Has he accepted Jesus, yet?” Her tone was hopeful. How could he disappoint her with the truth?

  Mitch shook his head in defeat. “Not yet. Your father is a stubborn man. But I’m not giving up on him.”

  She cried even harder, leaving Mitch feeling responsible. Her head slowly fell against his chest, while he instinctively sheltered her in his arms. She continued to weep; unaware that what felt so natural in her heart had slowly begun to let fear creep into her mind. Mitch would have been content to hold her until time stood still, but she pulled away suddenly.

  Emily kept her eyes to the ground. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered; then ran from the parlor.

  Mitch stood alone in his distress—the closing door echoed in his cluttered mind. Already his thoughts turned to panic. Although he willingly held her, he knew that a mistake of this magnitude could cost him his release from prison. Consequently, the strong feelings he already had for her had caused him to risk everything to be near her. Were his actions selfish, given the fact that he was not a free man? Mitch wiped the sweat from his brow just as the barns-men entered the parlor with the next set of cows to be milked. Determined to do his job—a job worthy of his friendship with Ethan, he lifted his head, stiffened his jaw, and pushed Emily from his thoughts.

  THREE

  STAGES OF RESOLUTION

  Emily sighed heavily as she watched Susan’s plane leave the runway. Sadness flooded her heart at the thought of not returning to school with Susan. As the plane lifted its front wheels off the ground, Emily felt instant regret. Even the sky matched her mood; tears fell unchecked from her eyes as she watched the plane disappear into the grey sky. Already, she mourned the loss of her studies—but she felt it was for the best that she remain behind to care for her father and tend to the dairy. Being an only child, it was now her responsibility to fill her father’s shoes until he could return to his position—if he’d ever be able.

  As she walked from the terminal, Emily kept a stiff upper lip. She’d stand by her decision of loyalty to her father’s company by leaving her regrets behind. Being a strong-willed young woman, she didn’t lack spirit or determination. She accepted the fact that in order to succeed, she must remove Mitch from her thoughts—no matter what the cost to her own heart.

  ****

  While Mitch saddled Red Thunder, he reviewed in his mind the last few days’ events. Though Emily had not exposed his error in judgment, she had avoided him as much as possible for three full days. Normally such a major violation of the rules could result in being thrown in the “hole”, or solitary confinement. His hands shook as he tightened the straps of the saddle; his mind clouded with confusion. Though his strong affection for Emily was new and exciting, he knew that any romance between prisoners and outsiders was risky if not impossible for both involved.

  Mitch mounted Red Thunder. With one click of his heels the horse was off and running. Mitch removed his hat and coat, allowing them to fall to the ground as the horse whisked him further from the main barn. He circled the property permitting the horse to pass the exercise corral.

  Though he had been exercising the horse within the confines of the corral, he felt a sudden urge to indulge his need for freedom. Would he risk his parole by leaving the allotted perimeter only weeks from serving the end of his sentence? He was indeed tempted to steer the horse outside his boundaries. Mitch willed the horse to run faster, feeling each heavy strike of the horses’ hooves as they hit the ground beneath him. From the edge of the horizon, thunder rolled through the air, rumbling within Mitch’s chest, causing him to feel sudden exhilaration. Riding toward the storm, he felt aware of the rain hitting him with such force that the sting tugged at his inner pain. Pulling back on the reigns, he slid from Red Thunder’s back before the horse completely stopped. Mitch fell hard to the ground on his knees, looking up int
o the rain and calling out to God.

  “How can you fix this mess I’ve managed to get myself into this time, Lord? I don’t know if I can give Emily up—I love her already. I know I have no right to be selfish in loving her, but I can’t help myself. How can I face Ethan? I don’t want to lose my friendship with him over this. Lord, please don’t abandon me in my time of need like my earthly father has, but help me to do what’s right.” Mitch let go of his emotions and his pride, through tears that mixed with the rain hitting his face.

  When he felt he could cry no more, he opened his eyes to the sky above him. What he saw, then, would have brought him to his knees, had he not already been there. From one end of the horizon to the other, God had adorned the sky with the most awesome rainbow Mitch had ever seen. Usually, any rainbows he would see were sheer, barely visible flecks that were only partial arches that often faded to nothing. This one, however, was a dual-banded arch that lingered across the heavens with a thick, amethyst band separating the rich crimson, azure and flaxen hues.

  ****

  As Emily left the airport, she could not push Mitch from her thoughts, no matter how hard she tried. Each raindrop that splashed against her windshield brought with it a fresh tear to her eyes. She turned up the wipers, hoping to see better but decided to pull off onto the side of the road until her dismal mood and the torrential rain passed. Before she realized, she was deep in prayer and the rain had nearly stopped. She opened her car door, intending to step out for a little fresh air, when she caught sight of the beautiful, two-sided rainbow that she felt God had painted across his vast canvas—the sky, just for her. She had asked for a sign that her feelings for Mitch were a blessing rather than a mistake, but she had not expected such an incredible, undeniable reply.

  ****

  When Emily returned home from the airport, she could hear her father and Mitch talking on the sun porch as she entered through the kitchen door. Mrs. Manney, the nurse, was busy preparing her father’s lunch. Emily paused in the hallway, straining to hear the conversation between her father and Mitch.

  “The parole board wrote a letter to my father asking for his opinion on my release and he sent a letter back to them saying he didn’t want me to return to his home. They gave it to me yesterday after I left here,” Mitch was saying.

  “I’m sorry, Son. I wish there was more I could do. The only thing I can offer you is my guest-house in exchange for your hard labor. You can always go to night school here at the community college after work.”

  “Thanks Ethan, but I still need to give it more thought—I hope you understand.”

  “Sure, take all the time you need, Son.”

  Emily went to her room and turned on her computer, intending to e-mail Susan even though she wouldn’t be there to read it for several hours.

  Dear Susan,

  I know you’ve only been gone for an hour, but I miss you already. I have so much on my mind. I’m sorry that we couldn’t spend more time together before you left. On the way home from the airport, I saw the most awesome rainbow. I think it was an answer to a prayer about Mitch. I know you warned me about getting too close to him, but I think it’s too late for that—I may already love him. I know if this is God’s will, then he’ll love me back. If not, then my feelings for him will go away.

  I thought about what you said about going to the community college to test out of my last two classes—if they even offer such a service. I’m really sorry that I got so mad at you. I think I was jealous that you got to go back to school and finish the last few weeks and I didn’t. Whatever God has in store for me, though, I’m ready and willing. Please don’t tell anyone what I’ve told you—I don’t want Mitch to get into any trouble. I overheard my father offering him the guest- house to live in when he gets out of prison. I think for now it would be safer if I avoided him for a while—I wouldn’t want anyone to suspect anything.

  It’s times like these when I miss talking with my mom. Do you remember when we were kids and she would ride with us. Then she always saddled on a picnic lunch for us and we would act surprised! Some day I’d like to do that with a daughter of my own. I just wish I had more pleasant memories like that of times with my father. I miss the times that we would all go camping—remember that? Our parents would sit up all night around the campfire and tell their stories and we would sit up in the tent eating all the leftover marshmallows, listening to them. I shouldn’t go on reminiscing because it just makes me cry. I’m so afraid that my father is going to die and I won’t have any parents. What am I going to do? I know God is with me, but I don’t know if not having an earthly father will make me feel alone. Maybe if I weren’t an only child, I’d be able to handle this a little better, but I’m glad I have you as a friend. Please pray for me and write back.

  Love, Emily

  She leaned back in her desk chair and clicked on send, hoping that her friend would get the message right away. Susan would be on the plane for at least two more hours before landing. Then it would be another hour before she would get back to the dorm room they no longer shared. Emily twisted in her chair, feeling lonely and bored even though she knew she had a lot of work waiting for her at the dairy office. She was not looking forward to having to dodge Mitch, either. It hurt her knowing that he was probably wondering why she was avoiding him, but she just couldn’t bring herself to dealing with him. She hoped he could forgive her one day for the way she was acting, and understand she was only trying to keep him from harm.

  ****

  Mitch fidgeted in his seat, feeling guilty over his feelings for Ethan’s daughter. Ethan didn’t have a clue as to what he was thinking, but Mitch still couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable.

  “Are you okay, Mitch?”

  Well there it was—the question. How could he answer it honestly? Panic rose up in his chest, making him feel as though it were choking him. He cleared his throat and looked Ethan in the eye, determined that he needed to come clean with the truth about his feelings when Emily entered the room and spared him another mistake.

  Emily set a tray of lemonade on the wicker table in front of her father. “I thought you boys might want something to drink.”

  “Thanks Em,” Ethan said, reaching for a glass and offering it to Mitch.

  Mitch took the glass from him, carefully avoiding Emily’s eyes. “Thank you, Miss.”

  Emily exited the room, feeling strange about the interaction with Mitch. Did he call me “Miss” because my father was sitting right there, or is he trying to give me the hint he wants nothing more than friendship with me?

  Mitch used Emily’s exit as an opportunity to change the subject.

  “I’m worried about you, Ethan. What does the doctor say? If you don’t mind my asking?”

  “I have to tell Emily I’m not going to make it. We thought I had more time, but the doctors said the cancer is spreading through my body like wildfire,” Ethan said, a mist in his eyes. “But I can’t bring myself to tell her. I want her to go back and graduate, but I don’t think she’ll leave if she knows I’m running out of time.”

  Mitch shook. “Are they saying there’s nothing that can be done?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  Both men sat silent for several minutes. Mitch had mixed feelings about his friend’s confession. He knew he would miss Ethan, but it felt more like he was losing a father, than a friend. What made things worse, was the fact that Mitch felt as though he were betraying Ethan by not telling him about his feelings for Emily.

  Ethan broke the silence.

  “How’s the riding coming along?”

  Mitch felt guilt grip his heart. “Great.”

  “Are you able to juggle your schedule? I’ll bet Gabe and my daughter are working you to the bone.”

  Mitch nodded his head in agreement. “Yes, they are, but I enjoy keeping busy. Besides, I’ve appreciated input from Gabe’s fifteen years of experience as your ranch hand. And thank you for allowing me to exercise Red Thunder.”

  “I’m th
e one that should be thanking you. That horse doesn’t like to sit still and I don’t have the strength to ride him every day like I used to.”

  Mitch replaced his empty glass on the tray in front of him and stood to his feet. “Well, my break has been over for some time. If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be heading back to the dairy.”

  “How are the guys treating you?”

  “Not that great, but I think in time they’ll come around. They’ve spread their rumors about how I got to be their supervisor, but I ignore them when they talk under their breath when I walk by.”

  “It’s going to take some time, Mitch, but I think this is the place you should be—I can feel it in my bones.”

  The two men exchanged a half-hearted chuckle as they shook hands just before Mrs. Manney entered the room to take Ethan’s blood pressure. Then, Mitch walked out the door and headed toward the dairy.

  ****

  He arrived just as the guys were hitching up the hoses to the milk tanks so the trucks could haul the day’s milking to the processing plant. Some of the inmates were angry that Mitch had been gone for so long and commented to one another about his whereabouts.

  They nudged one another. “I think he goes up there and feeds poison to the boss-man and that’s why he’s gonna be our new boss.”

  “Yeah. He’s probably trying to kill him off so he can have this farm when he gets out of the big house.”

  Mitch ignored their accusations and went into the office to work with Gabe. There was a time when such remarks would have provoked Mitch into fighting, but now God had blessed him with enough self-control to walk away. He and Ethan knew the truth, and that was all that mattered to him.