Shutdown

by Heather Anastasiu

  The rain fell in sheets now and it was harder to hear our voices.

  “Fine, but we’ve got to at least get somewhere dry.” Adrien took my hand and led me through the woods. I didn’t know where he was taking me, but I did know that no matter how exhausted I was, I’d rather soak through to the bone than voluntarily go in a cave. But then Adrien stopped at a copse of dense trees near a small lake’s edge, where one huge tree dominated the others. The long leafy green branches hung over one another in layers like a waterfall of leaves, all the way to the ground.

  Adrien pushed aside some of the soft branches and ushered me in. The wind from the rainstorm made the branches swing back and forth lightly, but it was completely dry near the fat inner tree trunk. It got dim as soon as Adrien let the branches we’d entered through settle back down, shutting us inside like it was a little room.

  “I saw this tree when I hiked back in,” he said. “Sophia and I used to always sleep under weeping willows whenever we traveled and it rained, especially if we found a big old one like this where the branches reach all the way to the ground.”

  I leaned against the trunk. It was freezing, but I was still so tired my eyes were already dropping closed.

  “We should both get some sleep,” he said, coming over to me. “We’ll be warmer if we sleep close together. You know, just to keep our vital organs warm.”

  I nodded and lay down, too tired to even be excited about the thought of him letting me get that close. He lay down too, facing me and settling a blanket from his pack over us. He pulled out the blanket from my pack too, but instead of adding it to the first, he bundled it up and slipped it under my head like a pillow.

  My eyes were so heavy I was asleep within seconds, but for a brief fuzzy moment before I lost consciousness, I could have sworn Adrien wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me close.

  I woke to Adrien shaking my shoulder. I blearily opened my eyes, coming out of my deep sleep to find wind wailing around us. The branches of the willow blew and twisted crazily. Several of the long leafy vines snapped loose and flew toward us, smacking Adrien so hard in the chest he winced. I’d been sleeping so heavily, I hadn’t even heard the thunder that was now booming all around us.

  “We’ve got to get out of here,” Adrien shouted over the wind. “It’s not safe!”

  I nodded and let him pull me to my feet. We stumbled out from under the willow. The rain lashed at our faces. Severed tree branches and other debris flew through the air. The sky was a strange sickly green color and the wind, which I’d barely noticed before except for the pleasant noise it made when it blew gently through the tree branches, was now howling like a freight train around us.

  Chapter 17

  THE THUNDER BOOMED AGAIN, so loud it seemed to shake the ground beneath us. The wind roared even louder, and the next time it thundered, lightning split the air at almost the same moment.

  Adrien grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. “We’ve gotta go,” he shouted. “Now!”

  “Where?” I yelled back, but let him drag me forward anyway.

  “There’s a clearing just a little farther around the lake,” he called over his shoulder. I could barely make out his words. “There was a ditch there where we might be safe.”

  I nodded, abandoning trying to talk anymore.

  Thunder boomed overhead, several loud rumbling punches, followed by lightning. The rain was harder after we burst out from under the tree coverage. It pelted us in diagonal sheets. I could barely see a foot in front of me. The only other time I’d seen a storm anything like this was back in the Community when I’d been in one of the few Sublevel 0 rooms that had thick triple-paned windows to the Surface. The growling thunder and splattering rain had given me nightmares for weeks.

  Now there was no glass separating me from it, no elevator to take back underground to safety. And that storm hadn’t been nearly as powerful as this.

  “Put your arm over your face,” Adrien yelled. I tried, but it barely mattered. The rain and wind blew so hard that I had a hard time staying on my feet. My hair whipped around me until I felt sure it would be yanked out by the roots. Adrien, tall and thin, bent his head into the wind and tried trudging forward, but he was having as much difficulty as I was.

  “Shunting hell, it’s a tornado!” he suddenly yelled, looking off to the left. I followed his gaze, my hand cupped above my eyes so I could see.

  I’d never heard of a tornado, but I saw what he meant. The sky seemed to drop down until a portion of dark gray-green cloud touched the ground in a wide funnel. The wind around us whipped even harder, and the noise of the storm became a monstrous roar.

  Adrien screamed something I couldn’t hear and we ran across the clearing as the storm continued gathering force behind us.

  The clearing rose and then dipped, and Adrien dropped down into a natural trench. He pulled me down beside him. I put both hands over my head to keep away the rain and flying debris. Adrien popped his head up to look back, and then before I even knew what was going on, he’d hauled me back to my feet.

  “It’s coming this way!” he yelled. I was barely able to make out his voice amid the howling winds.

  I clenched his hand as we ran down the field, perpendicular to the path the tornado was heading. Debris flew in the air around us and a quick glance behind me showed the funnel was even closer than before. I saw the truth of the matter. If it turned this direction, there was no way we’d be able to outrun it.

  I cast outward with my telek to see if I could sense any kind of shelter. But all I could feel was the massive shape of the funnel and the mounds of debris circling in it. I wrenched my attention away from it and cast out in front of us instead. There were just more and more trees, no protected place.

  But then my quick telek survey paused. There! I felt an outcropping of rocks ahead. Adrien was pulling me away from the lake, but I stopped him. “No,” I shouted. “This way!”

  I grabbed his hand and headed to the left, running along the edge of the churning lake.

  “Zoe, getting in the water won’t make us any safer—”

  “Look!” I cut him off, and pointed down a small hill to the edge of the lake where the terrain turned rocky. I sprinted toward it right as the tornado roared closer behind us.

  If I was wrong, this would be the end of us.

  We jumped down the rocky embankment. I didn’t even pause to breathe out in relief. When I saw some overhanging rock that looked like it would give shelter, I just launched toward it, pulling Adrien after me.

  What I’d thought was just a bunch of rocks actually opened inward into a dark open space. We tumbled inside. The sudden dry and quiet was startling. We clambered farther and farther into the narrow opening until the growling wind outside sounded like only a mute whimper. We could still see it through the opening though—the raging twister passed in front of us, flinging debris and tree branches into the first few feet of our safe haven. We huddled behind some natural boulders in the darkness, and waited.

  Then, only minutes later, all the noise abated. The rain still spattered gently at the mouth of the opening, but sunlight began filtering down too. We waited, shivering and not speaking for another five minutes, until we were sure that the storm had truly gone.

  Then Adrien raised his head and froze. “Zoe, this is the cave from my vision.”

  Chapter 18

  I SCRAMBLED UP OUT OF my hiding place and ran for the entrance. But it was too late. I’d already been inside. Coming out now could just be the beginning of Adrien’s second vision. “Shunt!” I shouted in frustration.

  The ground was churned up and trees were uprooted for a half-mile stretch where the tornado had landed. But the sky was a ridiculous bright blue with only a tufting of light gray clouds now.

  Adrien followed me out and looked around with me.

  Across the lake, bright colors lit the sky. Not like sunsets I’d seen before where purples and pinks splashed across the entire horizon. These colors were all lined up to
gether, like someone had taken a paintbrush to put them there. It was absurdly beautiful.

  “It’s a rainbow,” Adrien said. He was quiet for a long moment before speaking again. “Sophia read me a story once about a terrible storm that made the earth flood for forty days and nights. And afterward, there was a rainbow—it was their god’s promise that the world would never be destroyed by flood again. She said rainbows have been symbols of hope ever since then.”

  “Hope?” I couldn’t help scoffing. “It seems like the god could have just prevented it from raining in the first place.”

  He laughed, a deep hearty noise that jolted me out of my frustration. “If I remember right, that’s what I said too.”

  I couldn’t help grinning. Then I took a deep breath, feeling calmer finally. “Okay, so what do we do now?”

  “First you should probably sleep some more. The epi infusion will keep working for another few hours. Better to get sleep now so we can save the tank for later.”

  I nodded, then glared behind me at the cave. “I guess it’s dry in there, at least.”

  * * *

  I blinked my eyes open after several blissful hours of heavy sleep.

  There had been no dreams at all—my favorite kind of sleep. When Adrien shook my shoulders to wake me, at first I pushed him off. Sleep was so easy. Empty. Nothing was asked of me there. Waking meant entering back into the world of struggle and strife, and I didn’t want that, not yet.

  Finally I gave in to the inevitable and opened my eyes. I sat up, every muscle in my body sore. Adrien had turned on the small portable heat lamp in the center of the chamber where the cave widened out. Our soaked clothing was mostly dry, and in spite of everything, I felt about a thousand times better than I had in days.

  Adrien leaned over me, staring at me with his eyebrows knit in concern. The previous day came rushing in. The details about everything that had happened were fuzzy because I’d been so exhausted and half-delirious, but I remembered him leaving.

  And him coming back.

  I stared up at him in confusion. The way he was looking at me now, as if he was concerned about me, as if he cared—

  But, as if he could sense where my thoughts were starting to go, he pulled back and made his face an impassive mask.

  I sat up, pushing off the two thermal blankets on top of me. I looked down at them. I’d had only one blanket when I went to sleep.

  “I didn’t want you to get cold,” he explained, as if reading the question on my face.

  “What about yourself? Aren’t you cold?”

  He shook his head. “I stayed by the lamp.”

  I blinked again and looked around us. I shivered in spite of the fact that I was warm. We were in the cave from Adrien’s vision. “What time is it?”

  “Nine at night.”

  That was good. I’d slept almost nine hours altogether today.

  I rubbed my eyes and looked around. The cave walls were moist, almost slimy. The ceiling was mostly hidden in shadow. But in the dim light provided by the heat lamp, I could see a bunch of long fingerlike structures dropping down from above. Moisture gathered at the pink-brown tips and occasionally dripped. I watched one drip, drip, drip, and listened for the resounding plink on the slick mound that had grown up below it.

  “How long till we outwait the other vision?” I asked Adrien. “Four or five days? Then we can get moving again.”

  “I’ve been thinking about it a lot while you were sleeping.” He handed me half a protein bar and then stood up, pacing back and forth on a path between the pinkish mounds lining the ground. “I’m not sure it’ll be safe to leave.”

  “Why not?” I took a bite. Even though I’d been eating the same bars for days, this one tasted amazing, probably because I was so starved after all the exertion yesterday.

  “I’ve never had visions like this before.” Adrien ran a hand through his hair. “What if I was wrong about the timing? What if they didn’t happen at the same time like I first thought? Maybe I just had two visions together, and the second one could still happen whenever we leave the cave, even if we do wait a few days.”

  I choked on the bite of bar I’d swallowed. Adrien quickly handed me the water bottle and I took a long drink before turning back to him. “We can’t just stay here indefinitely. We’ll avoid cities to make sure the other one doesn’t happen.”

  He shook his head with his lips pursed. “You know I’ve tried to avoid visions in the past. Whenever I did, I’d just end up causing them instead. We said we wouldn’t look for the cave, but then the storm drove us here. What if the same thing happens with the second vision?”

  “So there’s no way to escape it?” I scoffed, putting the cap back on the water bottle and standing up. “I’m just supposed to accept that if I step outside of this cave then I’m doomed to die in a city somewhere?”

  “No, no, no,” he said quickly, still pacing. “That’s not what I mean. I’m still hoping that I was right about the visions being simultaneous moments on two separate forked futures. But look at the facts.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “We don’t have any more epi infusions. The anti-infrared harnesses have enough coolant for maybe two more nights, at most. Then what? We have shelter here. The lake outside is spring-fed so we have fresh water. You’ve got the biosuit and I can head into the city by myself to steal you some more oxy tanks.”

  “But we have to try to get in contact with the Rez as soon as we can,” I argued.

  “Do you think Rez cells advertise with a sign outside their door? They’re impossible to find, and you more than anyone know that being with the Rez is probably the least safe place to be these days. The Chancellor turns all the Rez agents she captures with her compulsion. Whoever she captured at the Foundation will have told her about the last few cells.” He shook his head and finally stopped pacing. “No, the safest place is out here, off the grid. Besides I’m good at slipping in and out of cities. I can get us the supplies we need.”

  “So, what?” I asked slowly, trying to wrap my head around all he was saying. “You mean we just live out here?”

  “Yeah. For a while anyway.”

  “But,” I sputtered. “We can’t. We have to—”

  “What?” he interrupted, his voice hard. “Go start a revolution? Fight against the Chancellor? We’re beat, Zoe. When are you gonna see that? The Rez is cracked, done for. Maybe there are a few cells left here or there, but they’ll have scattered once news of what happened at the Foundation gets out. We’ll never be able to find them.”

  “But you’re a techer,” I said. “I know you all have a secret signal you put out if something like this happens. If we could get the right equipment, then you could—”

  “And what if no one’s left out there?” His jaw was tight. “What then?”

  “The Chancellor has my brother,” I barreled on. “And there were plenty of people who couldn’t get on the escape pods out of the Foundation. Some of them have valuable Gifts. The Chancellor would have imprisoned them. If I take her out, then everyone under her compulsion will be free. I could gather all the glitchers together—”

  “Do you even hear yourself?” he scoffed, his voice raising an octave. “You’re going to go up against thousands of Regs just by yourself? And what if she has that power-blocking girl there?”

  I waved a hand dismissively. “The Chancellor would never risk keeping the girl around her. All of her control over others depends on being able to compel them, and the girl’s presence would make her impotent. Besides, if I save up my strength, I could take on the Regs—”

  “You’ve got a death wish then,” he said, throwing up his hands. “That’s what this is. You’re letting that ridiculous guilt you carry with you everywhere drive you to an early grave. When are you gonna see that guilt’s nothing more than the repression of your genuine desires? You’ve created this net of morals around you to strangle your most basic instincts. To survive.”

  “Some things are more important than survival,�
� I shot back. “Like making your life count. Sacrifice for a worthy cause means something. It’s the best of what makes us human. You used to understand that.”

  “Well, then I’m triply glad I’m not that shunting idiot anymore!” he yelled, his face red. His voice echoed throughout the cave. “I don’t even know why I bothered coming back for you if you’re so bound and determined to die.”

  “So why did you?” I asked, pushing closer until our chests were almost touching. “Why come back for me if you’re only supposed to think about your own survival?”

  His jaw tensed, but he didn’t say anything. He just pulled away and stomped away farther into the dark depths of the cave.

  “I thought so!” I yelled after him and kicked my blanket against the wall, not even knowing what I meant. All the peace I’d felt on waking was shattered.

  We went the entire day without speaking. He slept through the night, which I spent pacing and feeling caged. I was so frustrated at him, but the farthest we could get from each other was only the twenty feet or so that we’d explored of the cave.

  Half of me knew I was getting angry at him for things that weren’t his fault. It was how his mind worked now—logically, not emotionally. And I was finally beginning to see him as himself instead of searching for the old Adrien in his every act and expression.

  But he still baffled me. Because as different as he was now, sometimes I’d swear he still cared for me. He claimed he looked at the world with a strictly logical lens, but coming back for me … and then planning to risk his life to go back into the city to try to find me an oxygen tank—none of that was logical.

  Or maybe to him it was. If he could keep me alive, then he’d still have use for me. I could fly us out of a bad situation. Then again, he’d already proven he could steal a vehicle without problem. So why had he come back? Why? The question kept pinging in my brain throughout the long night.

  I looked down at Adrien. Even in sleep he looked different than the old Adrien had. As if his features weren’t quite relaxed. Was he having a bad dream? The scars across his head gave him a slightly menacing look. Maybe he was only here because he’d seen himself present in the vision of the cave, so he was staying in order to fulfill it? But he’d had that vision after coming back for me.