The Boron Letters
Page 8
Please, please -- reply today!
Many lessons in that little block of copy. First of all, it's not just a guilt inducer, it also develops a strong selling point: Namely, the selling point of this being a genuine limited offer that some other lucky person will take advantage of it you don't. And, the stamped envelope tends to "credential" that point. (I just made a noise and my little bunny slipped away.) Here's something else: If you can get a person who is not going to order to agree, in his mind, to write and tell you he is not going to, then you will get more orders.
Can you guess why? Aha, you didn't get this one, did you, smart alec? No matter. I'll tell you why. You see, what happens sometimes is that a person who is getting a pen or pencil and a piece of paper in order to write you and tell you "No" will sometimes start thinking like this: "Well, you jerk. I'd kind of like to get in on this deal anyway and now that I've got the pen and paper I may as well go ahead and order."
Now, let's switch our discussion to another kind of envelope where you also pay the postage for your customer. I'm talking about, of course, the good old standby known as a BRE or "Business Reply Envelope".
You've seen thousands of BRE's. They look like this:
Bulk Rate
Permit #6666
If Mailed In U.S. Postage Will Be Paid By
Nevada Inc.
201 Anywhere Road
Las Vegas, NV 20215
Most mailers love BRE's. They have the advantage of making it easy for the customer to reply plus the advantage of being much cheaper than a stamped reply envelope.
The reason they are cheaper is that you only pay the postage (and BRE fee) for those envelopes that are actually mailed back to you.
However, they also have some disadvantages. Like these:
1. They slow up your mail. The post office has to tabulate how many BRE's you get each day so they'll know how much you owe. This will hold up your mail (and your cash flow!) for at least one extra day. Maybe more.
2. They telegraph that yours is not, in fact, a real personal letter. You know, sooner or later, you've got to let your potential customers know that you want him to buy something. However, if you let him know immediately quite often he won't even give you a hearing. And, in truth, this is a disservice to him. Because, quite often, after he reads your info he will discover that what you have to offer has genuine value to him. So try to strategize your mailings so that he at least reads your letter before he makes a decision.
3. You can't do good guilt with a BRE. SRE's are much better for this purpose.
And now, let's talk about yet another type of reply envelope. I call it the PSH envelope. PSH stands for "Place Stamp Here". They look like this:
Place
Stamp
Here
If Mailed In U.S. Postage Will Be Paid By
Nevada Inc.
201 Anywhere Road
Las Vegas, NV 20215
This is the most economical reply envelope of all. That's because (obviously) the customer pays the postage. Let's talk about this envelope: First of all, it's not as convenient for the customer so you will lose some orders because of that. On the other hand, this envelope is more personal so you will gain some orders because of that.
(Guess what, Bondy? I think a solution to your mom's money problems just popped into my mind!)
Now, of course, this envelope isn't as personal as an SRE but it is more than a regular BRE. It is, as I have pointed out, cheaper than both.
What it is, then, is cheaper than a SRE and more personal than a BRE and, in my judgment, this is the best envelope for most mailers to use.
More mailers should test PSH envelopes and carefully analyze the results. Many of them are going to be surprised.
DAMN! I'm getting a little tired of writing about envelopes. I think I'll switch over to discussing that little baggie filled with dirt.
However, my hour is up and I've got to go stand count. (They want to know where I am all the time. They must like me!)
Tune in again tomorrow.
I LOVE YOU AND
GOOD LUCK!
Dad
STOP 10:09 AM
UPDATE:
The first point my father makes in the letter is to keep on keeping on and here is a trick to doing so.
Keep two task lists.
The first list is of every important thing you really should do while at your best.
My distraction-free creative time is in the morning when I do most of my writing, editing or consulting because it’s when I am reliably at my best.
The second list is of all the important tasks which I can do equally well regardless of my mood.
Whenever I get stuck in the morning or feel off, I simply take care of some of the important business which quickly puts me back into an uplifting and productive mood.
Another trick my father taught me was to work in libraries because we are social animals and it is really hard to be in the library and not try and work. Especially inside the research section but nowadays you can get a similar affect from coffee houses where all the hipsters congregate with their moleskin notebooks and mobile office in a backpack.
The marketing lesson about please reply works very well today.
Charities now send letters with several pre-paid envelopes.
more free letters at halbertising.com
The Boron Letters
Chapter 14
Monday, 9:05 AM
June 25, 1984
Dear Bond,
Today we are going to talk about that baggie full of dirt that we have attached to our real estate investment sales letter.
Now, listen up. While it is true that you must attract attention to your advertisements and sales letters, it is also true that your "attention grabber" should be relevant. It should tie in with your message. It should make sense.
Once upon a time there was a guy who wrote a series of articles for a magazine called "Printers Ink." I forget the guys pen name but he was very good. He wrote about how to improve DM & MO advertising.
Well, anyway, he once called an excellent example of how you should NOT attract attention. Check out this headline:
A Submarine
That Flies?
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~
And then, beneath that headline was the copy: "No, we don't have a submarine that flies but our pink pills, etc., etc."
A cheap shot. People resent this kind of fraud. Don't do it. If you put your mind to work you won't have to either. You can grab attention without "cheating", without making the reader feel ripped off. Which brings me right back to our dirt filled baggie.
Do you remember how I explained that the baggie has our reader wondering why you sent it to him? That he wants to know what's going on here? That we have his focused attention? Quality attention?
You say you do remember all that? Good. In that case, I'll proceed.
Now, here's how the letter will start off:
Dear Mr. Tiberion,
I am attaching a plastic baggie to the top of this letter for two important reasons:
First of all, what I have to say to you is very serious and I needed some way to be sure to get your attention.
And secondly, what is inside that baggie could very well be your passport to complete financial independence!
Why is this? The answer is simple: You see, what is inside that baggie is a very tiny amount of what is the most valuable thing on earth.
I'm talking about real estate and, in this case, Hawaiian Real Estate!
Yes, it's true. The sand inside that baggie was taken directly from a certain beach on the island of Maui and this particular beach is one of the few left that is open for purchase to private investors!
Here's what it's all about: blah, blah, blah, etc., etc., etc.
O.K., Bondodog, do you follow what I'm doing here? You see, what I did is I got his attention and then I tied my copy to my "attention grabber" in a relevant way that makes sense.
Now, if I were to continue writing this letter, I would use words that would make my reader "picture with pleasure" that beach in his mind. Before I was finished, he would be able to feel the sand in his toes, smell the fresh tang of the salt air, drink in the stars with his eyes and feel the warm friendly sun on his back.
Oddly enough, just a couple days ago, I received from Eric a copy of a sales letter he is writing to sell Hawaiian real estate. I am going to send Eric's letter to you real soon and I want you to read it and then imagine how much his letter could be improved by using all the little secrets (including the baggie) that we have just discussed.
Well oh well, what have we got so far? Let's see: we picked out our list, we know how to think about outside envelopes and return envelopes, we have thought up a way to get our reader's attention and we have the first couple paragraphs of our letter.
But, in most cases, we need more than a letter and a reply envelope. Yes, in most cases, it is good to include an order card and some type of printed brochure. I like to include an order card and a brochure with my sales letters. However, I do not like to let my reader see my order card, etc. as soon as he opens the envelope.
Do you know why? That's right. I don't want him to realize that I want to sell him something until I am well into my pitch. Here is something else you should know: Many people, when they read an ad, read it like this... What they do is, they read the headline first and then they go right to the order coupon.
The same is true with direct mail letters. If your reader sees your order card as soon as he opens your envelope, he will read it first to see what the deal is.
And, that's not good for us. It is true, of course, that we do want him to read our order card but we want him to read it at the proper time! And the proper time is after he has read our letter.
Comprende?
Now, how in the world do we include an order card and/or a sales brochure in our envelope and still hide it (temporarily) from our reader?
Believe it or not, it took me years to figure this out. And, just like the paperclip, it is so simple, you wonder why you didn't see it instantly.
Here's how I do it: What I do is, take an 8-1/2x11 piece of paper and cut it in half long ways.
(cut here)
- - - - -
Next I fold the cut pieces in thirds like this:
(fold here)
- - -
(fold here)
- - -
Now, turn the piece around and write this on the back:
NOTE: Open this paper to find the special info mentioned in my letter.
GH
OK, now, that which I have just written should be printed in blue ink and appear to be handwritten. Notice that it refers him to my letter and it is personalized with my initials.
Now here is what he will see when he finally opens that note:
Here Is The Info I Mentioned In My Letter!
(Boxed
Photo
Here)
(Order Coupon)
O.K., kiddo, here is my final point for the day. Although I like my letters to be personal, in most cases, I also like them to be "businesslike personal".
And, that's why part of the package should be typeset and maybe contain some photographs. Your see, this adds an air of stability to your promotion. It makes you seem like a real business.
Again, I want to emphasize that in order to make it easy to order (and to credential our offer) we need stuff like order cards, brochures, photos, and typeset copy.
But, again, as I said, we want our reader to see this stuff at the proper time.
AFTER HE HAS READ OUR LETTER!
I love you and
GOOD LUCK!
Dad
STOP 10:07
UPDATE:
Wow, this letter is loaded with marketing gold and a lot of it needs updated applications so here we go…
In your attempts to stand out, try and fight any urge to sound like a cliché and use phrases which a reader could finish on their own.
You only want the reader or viewer to get that head-nodding “been there, done that” feeling when you already got the prospect’s attention.
There are many ways to do this but one simple trick anyone can use is replace the adjectives in their headlines and opening statements with words from a CURRENT power list.
Marketing greats like my father and other top copywriters usually keep a power word list which begins to seep into their conversations as well as their copy but you don’t want to just use their lists.
Just like diets, words come in and out of fashion.
Consider these words: Keen, Cool, Funky, Hip, Hot, and Epic. You can almost tell the age of the people who use them.
Yes you can tailor your words to your readers average age but you want to do that during the bonding part of the copy/script.
The main point is the power of individual words ebbs and flows.
Nobody is going to buy a book on a keen new way to pick up girls.
Cool new way would be pretty boring too.
Funky might stand out more whereas in the 1980’s it was like keen is today.
Go look at tabloids and make a list of the words in headlines that really suck you in.
For instance I like crisis which is a great replacement for problem.
Divide your list of words into positive and negative.
Now peruse the list right before you begin the copy dump when you write the majority of your copy in one sitting.
By the way, you can do 40 edits but you want to write from start to finish in one sitting so your different moods on different days don’t seep into your copy and make it disjointed.
Anyway, when you are finished with the copy dump, look for adjectives and things you can punch up on your list without sounding like a clown.
Another tip, when my dad says he uses picture words, he really means phrases and terms which paint a picture like cherry red.
Describe what it looks like when happy customers receive the benefit of your product.
For example, phrases like “My clients wake up all excited and can’t wait for the morning because………… they love to sip coffee while opening their email to see how much money they made while sleeping.”
If this was a first person story, I’d add parts about looking out the window as the neighbors left for work while I take a shower.
Enough about pictures, let’s update on avoiding the whole Oh Yuck factor.
This is really easy because what makes you say oh yuck also makes others say it.
Excessively talking about yourself, overly busy webpages, unexpected auto-playing videos and so forth give most everybody that oh yuck feeling but…
The main point is to disguise your pitch until you want the prospect to know you are selling something and you can do this online to great effect.
Readers of snail mail do the same thing with websites and emails... they scroll right to the bottom.
Most marketers add a buy button to the bottom of their page but instead of saying BUY you might want to try adding my fathers text or simply use the word Next.
Now when they scroll down and back up again, the length of the copy and WILL affect their decision to read.
If you are online add a few videos. They probably won’t watch but it makes the reader feel like they can just pick and choose what they are interested in reading.
You can also do this by using monster titles to let the copy appear to be broken up in sections but make those titles, blind beneifts.
Why Our Customers Are So Happy
blah blah blah
21 Uses For XYZ Product
blah blah blah
Life-Changing Results
blah blah blah
In print, these headings would tip the reader off to this being a sales message too soon but online….they look very normal.