The Boron Letters

by Gary C Halbert

  Online shopping carts should be pre-filled out as much as possible, business reply envelopes should be pre-addressed and you should spell out what the prospect will experience when they order.

  Unless you are using upselling, try to give prospects options for ordering without talking to other humans.

  You should also test offering single vs. multiple ordering options.

  Sometimes, only being able to order by phone boost the performance of an ad and other times multiple payment options works better. You must test.

  more free letters at halbertising.com

  The Boron Letters

  Chapter 17

  Thursday, 10:31 AM

  June 28, 1984

  Dear Bond,

  Yesterday, the last thing I wrote about was how I want you to take the Tova “facelift ad” and copy it in your handwriting. I also said you should do this just as you would if you were going to take it to a secretarial service and have it typed.

  Here’s more: From now on, for the next 4 or 5 months I want you to do this same thing with other ads and DM pieces. But I don’t want you to just copy any old ad or DM piece. I want you to copy only the best.

  Now, here’s why I want you to do all this: You see, what happens when you actually write out a good ad in your own handwriting is that the words and the flow and the sentence structure and the sequence of information and everything else about the writing of that ad becomes a part of you.

  This isn’t just an empty experience. This is a way of internally imprinting on your mind and body, the process of good writing. If you do this often enough you will soon have a deep “inside out” understanding of what it takes and what it feels like to write a good piece of copy. Now, in the beginning I want you to allow me and B. to pick which ads and DM pieces for you to copy. And, of course, the ones we will select for you to write out in your own handwriting will be those that we already know to be the cream of the crop. Ads and DM pieces that are proven winners. Ones that have brought in millions and even tons of dollars.

  It is important to do this. It is one of the many disciplines that other lazy “would be” marketing geniuses will not suffer. That’s too bad for them and good for us. I love that my so called “competition” is so lazy. I love it that so many people in advertising and marketing are too sophisticated, too “above” this sort of thing.

  Let me tell you a little tale about a man I very much respect who was not above doing this sort of thing. He wanted to become a great writer (he was!) and so what he did was take great books and copy them (in a sense he was actually writing them) in his own hand-writing just as I am instructing you to do. He did this for a long time. Now here is something else he took the trouble to do: Since one of the books he wanted to write involved what it was like to cross the ocean under horrible conditions, what he did was travel the ocean himself in the bowels of rusty old freighters.

  Well, naturally, before he was finished he had an internal deep rooted “cellular” knowledge of the process of writing a good book and he also knew what it was like to travel the ocean in misery.

  Did all of this pay off? You bet is did. This man’s name is Arthur Haley and his book “Roots” is one of the best sellers of all time.

  End of sermon. Do it. Here is a short list of “killer” promotions to get you started.

  Tova Ad

  How To Burn Off

  Body Fat Hour By Hour

  The Beverly Hills Diamond Ad

  The Original

  Family Coat-Of-Arms

  Letter

  How To Collect

  From Social Security

  At Any Age

  How To Get What

  The U.S. Government

  Owes You

  The Famous Dollar Bill Letter

  From The Robert Collier

  Letter Book

  The Amazing Blackjack Secret

  Of A Las Vegas Mystery Man

  The Original

  Astrology Today Ad

  Written By Ben Suarez

  There’s more. But the above (at the rate of one per week) will keep you busy for a couple of months.

  Now, here are a few other tips on how to write good copy or , as a matter of fact, “good anything”. Use simple common everyday words. Use “get” instead of “procure.” Write short sentences and short paragraphs. Use “transition” words and phrases to make your writing flow smoothly. Do you notice how I use transition words and phrases such as the following?

  Well, as a matter of fact, I first blah...

  Now, naturally, we don’t want to blah, blah...

  And, of course, here is what she said blah, blah, blah...

  Now, here’s a few more great ideas: Ask questions once in a while and then answer them yourself. Like this:

  Bond, do you understand what I am saying? You do. Good, then let’s go on. Etc.

  How do we get the benefits? The answer is simple. All we have to do is etc., etc.

  Can you imagine that? I know it seems unbelievable but facts are facts! Etc., etc., etc.

  And so on. God I love to write “And so on.” Kurt Vonnegut uses it quite often and he is one of the best writers I’ve read.

  What is a good writer? Well, in my opinion a good writer is one who makes things perfectly clear. He makes it easy for the reader. Easy-to-understand what he is saying, easy to keep reading. And, if you want a treat, if you want to read an entertaining book written with great clarity, then read Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions.”

  Now, don’t get me wrong. I said the book was written clearly, I did not say it was written by a sane person.

  Onward.

  By the way, do you notice how little one word transition sentences like “onward.” keep the flow going? You say you do notice? O.k., smarty, see if you can answer this question:

  Question: What is the best way of becoming a good writer?

  Aha! You’re not absolutely certain about this one, are you?

  Here is the answer:

  The Best Way To Become

  A Good Writer... Is By...

  Writing Good Writing!

  And, of course, that’s what the subject of this entire letter is all about. Don’t worry about developing a “style.” Your own peculiarities will emerge soon enough.

  But remember this. (Ran out of ink) The very best writing goes unnoticed. That’s right. You don’t want someone to read one of your ads and say “Gosh, that advertisement was sure well written!”

  No. What you really want is for the reader to order from your ad. Listen up dummy. “If you are writing for applause... you will go home with empty pockets!”

  Write for money!

  STOP

  11:19

  START AGAIN

  6:36 PM

  Here is something else to keep in mind: It is a good idea to know “word pictures” that will help your reader vicariously experience the wonderful benefits of owning your product or service. Like this:

  “And, just wait till you step into that warm inviting jacuzzi that comes with every apartment. Man oh man! The feel of that soothing bubbling water against your bare skin is just plain heaven.”

  “You’ve heard of the expression about how you won’t believe your eyes? Well, this is one time you won’t believe your eyes. No kidding. The delightful aroma of these charcoal broiled steaks will remind you how good it feels to be genuinely hungry”

  “Wow! When I first felt her tongue going around and around on my skin I thought I was going to scream!”

  Etc. (I’m tired. These are not great examples but they’ll do for now.)

  STOP 6:44

  START 6:46

  I’ve got 4 minutes to go. What can I teach you in that amount of time?

  Here’s a little something: You can make your copy easier to read by the judicious use of parentheses. For example, if you want to tell people that your offer is good anywhere in the U.S. (except Alaska) the proper use of parentheses, as I just did, makes the copy easier-to-read, easier to
understand and provides a little “eye relief” for your reader.

  That’s it.

  STOP

  6::50

  I LOVE YOU

  AND GOOD LUCK!

  Dad

  UPDATE:

  I’ve seen a lot of people come to learn how to write copy from Gary Halbert and they are not all equal. Not everyone who followed this writing exercise became a good copywriter but everyone who did become great wrote out the winners.

  This lesson should also be applied to online copy as well as sales scripts but here is the most important update.

  Kevin and I have been making videos explaining the reasoning and secrets behind our father’s best work and one sharp young man started writing them out as he watches so he knows what it’s like to write great effective copy but he also understands why most words are chosen and how it all comes together.

  It’s like hearing Gary Halbert’s thoughts as he writes his best work.

  If you want to learn more about these very popular ad breakdowns, please visit www.halbertizing.com

  Also, the concept of eye-relief is more important than ever because people just don’t read as much as they used to which doesn’t mean you can’t write long copy.

  It’s just that paragraphs and sentences need to be shorter.

  You know need to use a lot more ….

  To Really KEEP THEIR INTEREST!

  The key is to go through many edits……….cutting everything out until….cutting any more would be cutting something the customer would like to know.

  Chop long sentences into two short ones.

  Besides… short statements are more emphatic!

  Break up paragraphs and if you’re writing for online, use one to two line paragraphs.

  For print, try and match the style of the space you are running in.

  These letters had a ton of eye-relief for the day they were written but even these letters don’t have enough eye-relief for today’s online standards.

  more free letters at halbertising.com

  The Boron Letters

  Chapter 18

  Friday, 7:09 AM

  June 29, 1984

  Dear Bond,

  Well, here I am trying to get started again. Once more, I haven't the faintest idea of what I'm going to write about.

  Let's see now. Oh yeah. When I left off last night one of the last things I mentioned was how the judicious use of parenthesis (like this) can provide "eye relief" for your reader.

  Alright. Now, let's talk a bit more about eye relief. Have you ever looked at a piece of writing and decided not to read it because it looked so forbidding? I'll bet you have. Many times.

  Usually, this kind of writing will have long sentences, long paragraphs, narrow side margins, small type and very little white space anywhere on the page.

  Now, we certainly don't want people to avoid reading our copy for stupid reasons like this, do we? You say you agree? Good. In that case, I'll press on.

  Now, listen up. When a person first looks at something you have written it should be something that looks inviting to read. Easy-to-read. When he looks at your page of copy he should be drawn to your copy like a convict is to a Penthouse Magazine.

  Your page of copy (be it letter or space ad) should be laid out in such a manner as to be an attractive "eye treat" for the reader.

  This means wide margins, a certain amount of white space, double spacing between paragraphs, short words, short sentences, short paragraphs and an attractive, inviting layout.

  And now, my dear son, you are about to learn one of my very most important secrets. What I am about to tell you is so important that you can get as much as 500% more readership. Yet, at the same time, this important consideration remains almost virtually unknown by almost every agency and advertising person I have ever encountered.

  Listen up. Listen good and never forget what you are about to learn. Here it is:

  The Layout Of Your

  Advertisement Should

  Catch The Attention Of

  Your Reader... But...

  Not In A Way That Causes

  Him To "Notice" The Layout!

  Actually, that's not as clear as it could be, is it? Perhaps I can do better. O.K., know this: In most publications, the editorial content gets 5 times as much readership as the advertising content.

  Now, what does this mean on a practical basis? Simply this: It means that your ads should, as much as possible, have an "editorial look" about them.

  (Better stop here and go call B. and then go to "work". Maybe I'll get to rake the sand again today!)

  STOP

  7:35

  START AGAIN 10:37

  Let's talk a bit more about the "look" of your ads and DM pieces. As I said, they should look (the ads) "editorial". However, they should not look like just any old editorial piece of writing. No. Your ads should look like an exciting piece of editorial material.

  Here is a way to think about it: Imagine that you have written a book that you want to become a best seller. What's the best thing that could happen? Well, how about this? Suppose a guy who works as a reporter for the L.A. Times gets a copy of your book and reads it and falls in love with it.

  Now, let us further imagine that this reporter likes your book so much that he writes a full page article about our book and tells all his readers how wonderful this book is and why they should buy a copy. Wouldn't that be great? You bet!

  And, just to sweeten things up even more, let us suppose that at the end of this "Rave Review" he tells his readers how to get a copy by mail. He tells them how much it costs, where to send the check or money order and who the payment should made out to!

  Wow! How about that! A full page rave review that makes the reader desire the book and then tells him where and how to get it!

  Now my son, listen and listen closely. Whenever you write an ad it should look, in so far as possible, exactly like a rave review written by a reporter.

  It should have the look of an exciting news flash.

  Here's something else. You know, whenever I want to study ad layouts, I often study editorial layouts instead.

  How do we apply all this to direct mail? O.K., what would that reporter do if he wanted one of his friends in Hawaii to buy your book? The answer? Well, perhaps he would write his friend a letter and tell him the same things he told his newspaper readers.

  And, perhaps he would even include a snapshot of the book so his friend would know what to look for in case he wanted to go to a bookstore to get the book. This would be one hell of a sales pitch, wouldn't it? You bet it would and that's how your DM letters should look.

  Here is a true story. Once upon a time I wrote a letter to sell a product I dreamed up which was a family name research report. This little report would give you a short history of your family name and it contained a black and white drawing of the earliest known coat-of-arms (family crest) ever to be associated with your name.

  As you are aware, this became one of the most successful sales letters in history. In fact, this simple one page 361-word letter generated more than seven million (actually 7,156,000) cash with order customers.

  Not bad, eh? But listen to what happened next! Obviously, we wanted to sell these research report buyers other products and the logical course of action was to send them a catalog showing a bunch of products they could get that would display (in full heraldic colors!) their family crest.

  Sound good to you? It sounded great to me. So, what I did is I went off on a camping trip by myself and there, all alone in the woods, I created a 5-1/2 x 8-1/2 four color catalog which featured about 70 attractive items that could be ordered personalized with my customer's family crest.

  It bombed.

  It didn't even return our mailing costs! So, what next? Well, at that point, what I did is I took the 3 best selling items in the catalog and I put together an 8-1/2 x 11 brochure that featured only 3 items.

  It did only slightly better than break even.

  What
?

  Groan. What to do, what to do?

  Here's what I did then: I wrote a very personal sales letter and I enclosed a snapshot of the best selling of the three items in the brochure. The opening of the letter went like this:

  Dear Mr. Noble,

  I thought you might like to see what the Noble coat-of-arms looks like in full color so I am sending you the enclosed snapshot.

  Etc., blah, blah, blah, etc.

  40 Million Dollars!

  That's right kiddo. That letter brought in 40 mil while my other "more professional" attempts fell flat on their rears.

  What's the moral here? The moral is YOU CAN DO A BETTER SELLING JOB WHEN AT FIRST IT DOES NOT APPEAR YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO DO A SALES JOB.