A Cat's Chance in Hell

by Sharon Hannaford

  This question sparked a whole new debate and Gabi grew bored of listening; she tuned them out and cast about for something else to grab her attention. The tailgate sank down as someone joined her; Doug, she recognised by scent.

  “Coffee?” he asked. She held out her bandaged hand wordlessly. A polystyrene cup was pressed into it. She brought it to her nose and breathed in the warm steam appreciatively. It wouldn’t be the best coffee in the world, but at that moment in time it would taste fantastic. She wrapped her other hand around it and took a tentative sip.

  “I hear the Birdman took a few chunks out of you,” she teased him.

  He ignored her attempt at deflection: “I’ve spoken to Byron and Athena,” he said carefully, referring to a young Head Magus that Gabi didn’t particularly like.

  “And what did the great and powerful Magus Liaison have to say about my predicament?” she asked savagely. The last person she wanted informed of her weakness was Athena.

  Doug sighed as though he’d known his statement would raise Gabi’s hackles, but also knew he hadn’t had a choice. They both knew the truth; Athena was one of the most powerful Magi in the City and even Gabi realised that if her blindness was magically induced, Athena would be the best person to try to reverse the damage. She just didn’t like to think of owing Athena anything.

  “She was very concerned about you; as we all are,” he ploughed on. “Byron is, obviously, rather distressed as well. He wanted to come through and collect you immediately.” He interrupted as she started to protest. “I told him you would be fine with us for now, and you would call him if you wanted him to collect you.”

  She could hear footsteps approaching them on her other side. Kyle. He silently sat down on her left side and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. Her tough ego self wanted to shake him off, but her practical inner self intervened and told her that she needed his solid familiarity to keep from going to pieces.

  “Did they have any ideas on what to do for Gabi?” Kyle’s carefully neutral voice asked.

  “Their recommendation is that we wait at least twenty-four hours to see if the effects wear off on their own.”

  Gabi and Kyle both instantly started to protest.

  “Yes,” Doug cut them off loudly. “I know that sounds really harsh, but their reasoning is sound. Athena feels that if they interfere unnecessarily, they might do more harm than good. If the blindness doesn’t wear off on its own, then the risks of intervening are worth it. Waiting twenty-four hours is not going to make the situation any worse, and all going well, Gabi may not have to let Athena into her mind and body to fix the problem,” Doug quickly played his trump card.

  Gabi knew she had been painted into a corner. She capitulated with a sigh and resorted to finishing her coffee without another word.

  “OK then, we’ll do it that way,” agreed Kyle on her behalf. “I’ll get her home. Can you arrange for someone to collect her car and drop it at the house?”

  Doug agreed and after reminding Gabi to call Byron he strode off, probably to chase everyone home. It had been a long night, and dawn wasn’t far off, they needed to be clear of the place before the first workers arrived in the area to start their shifts.

  “Your place or mine, babe?” Kyle teased her.

  “Mine,” she said tiredly. “What time is it? I must get back to feed Razor and Slinky.”

  “It’s just gone four am.” Kyle answered.

  Well that explained the chill in the air she thought, then another more panicked thought rippled through her. “Oh, shit!”

  “What?” Kyle asked, instantly alarmed.

  “I didn’t leave any extra food out for Razor before I went out. He’s gonna have wrecked the place!”

  Chapter 4

  Kyle was still chortling at Gabi’s concern when they rounded the bend in the road and turned up her long paved driveway. At least he’d got to drive his own van this time.

  “It’s not that funny Wolf,” Gabi groused. “The last time I left him this long with no food he destroyed my sofa and my bed. The sofa I can live without, but my bed is sacred! I had to wait three weeks for a replacement last time.”

  She was ranting now, and Kyle felt a ripple of relief that she was acting more herself. Earlier when she hadn’t shaken him off for hugging her, he’d felt a strong sense of disquiet; it was completely out of character for her to show that she needed anything from anyone, especially emotional support. It’d exposed the depth of her distress.

  She’d called Byron on the way home and had, very convincingly, reassured him that she was fine, not concerned and didn’t need babying. She’d sounded believable enough to keep him from driving straight to the house to check on her, but Kyle knew the older man would be there by mid-morning after giving Gabi a few hours sleep.

  “Well you only have yourself to blame,” Kyle said sanctimoniously, purposefully trying to rile her up. “Firstly, you have a cat the size of a mountain lion, with an appetite like a hyena’s and the patience of a stampeding bull, and secondly you forget to feed it before going out on an assignment.” He knew he was looking for trouble, but it seemed worth the pain if it kept her out of the funk she’d been in earlier. He was wrong. The backhander from her hit him full force on the shoulder. She’d carefully avoided his injuries, but it hurt like a bitch anyway.

  “Geesh Hellcat. Take it out on the injured man, why don’t you?” he retorted indignantly, flexing his numb shoulder.

  “If you don’t want trouble, don’t look for it,” she countered.

  Minutes later Kyle stopped the van in front of her little house. Well, it was more of a bungalow, but a smart, stylish bungalow. Not that he could see much of it in the pre-dawn gloom, but he knew the place almost as well as he knew his own. It was set against a backdrop of huge oak trees and the large garden had a wild, yet somehow structured look to it, as though mother nature had had a day with an A-type personality. Ordered unruliness was how Kyle would describe it, a bit like Gabi he realised. She loved the overgrown flower beds, an odd assortment of herbs dotted in amongst the flowers, the uncut lawn sprouted wild flowers haphazardly and the little pond that sported so many waterlilies that the goldfish could hardly breathe. Now he wondered, in a quiet corner of his mind, if she’d ever see it again. No, he pushed the thought away; they would sort this problem out. He knew that the SMV had some of the best Magi brains in the country at their disposal, as well as the best researchers money could buy. If it didn’t come right on its own, someone would figure out what to do.

  “Well, at least I won’t be able to see the devastation,” Gabi muttered darkly, opening the van door and sliding out. Kyle loped quickly to her side as she fumbled to close the door.

  “One guide dog at your service,” he said officiously, putting his arm under her hand.

  “Does that mean I can change your nickname to Labrador instead of Wolf?” she asked snidely, but took his proffered arm and allowed him to lead her up the steps and into her sanctuary.

  “As long as you don’t expect me to eat kibble,” he countered. “Or sit up and beg,” he added quickly, before she got any ideas.

  As they walked in the door they were instantly set on by a ball of fur the size of a retriever. The hugely overgrown cat—thought to be some kind of Maine Coon mix but Kyle privately thought it was probably mixed with Bengal tiger—ran straight up to Gabi and launched itself directly into her chest, complaining furiously in cat language all the while. She managed to catch the furry monster in both arms, having expected the assault, and began apologizing sincerely for leaving him with no food, and for getting home so late. She buried her face in his three inch long ginger and brown coat. Kyle knew she was also reassuring the stripy furball mentally, as the cat immediately curled into her arms like a baby and began purring outrageously. It was only Gabi’s supernatural strength that allowed her to carry the cat unassisted, normal humans would have struggled to hold the enormous animal, he weighed over twenty kilograms. Kyle put his hands gently against Gabi
’s back, ignoring the baleful glare he got from Razor, and steered her towards the kitchen. She allowed him to do this without comment. He turned on the lights, though Gabi couldn’t see them and he didn’t need them in the dim light of dawn, it was more force of habit and maybe a form of comfort. He seated her and the furball on one of barstools on the far side of the kitchen counter and went around into the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker. Her housekeeper, Rose, had left it ready to go for Gabi when she got up in the morning.

  Rose was grandmother to several Shapeshifters and several more non-Shapeshifters; the ability had skipped two generations, but had kicked back in with the youngest generation. She was well aware of the strange and dangerous things that lurked in the shadows of our world. She knew what Gabi did, though she wasn’t actively involved with the SMV. Several years ago Rose had been sent by Byron to help Gabi around the house for a few weeks when Gabi had been severely injured in a fight with three Vampires. The weeks had passed and Rose had just continued working for Gabi; now years down the line, the two had developed a close bond and Rose had become like a second mother to Gabi. It was Rose’s touch that ensured there was food in the fridge, coffee in the cupboard and the house was always clean and tidy. Gabi would not have won any awards for domesticity; it was definitely not her forté.

  Rose deserved Sainthood, Kyle decided as he surveyed the scene in the open-plan lounge, from the safety of the kitchen. Razor had indeed decided to make his displeasure known, and the sofa was another write-off, as was one of the wingback chairs. It looked as though a pack of rabid dogs had attacked the place. Fabric and stuffing lay over every square inch of the carpet, lamps had been knocked on the floor, side tables overturned and ornaments lay scattered and broken on the stone hearth of the fireplace. He shook his head and glared at the unashamed culprit

  “If it were up to me you wouldn’t get fed for a month, you bad tempered monster,” he grumbled at the impudent cat. He was tempted to wave an accusing finger at the animal, but decided he liked having all his fingers intact. He knew Razor was as fast as he was enormous; if he decided to swat you for being irritating he could give you lacerations that required stitches, if he bit you he could probably take your hand off. He was named Razor for good reason; Kyle had the personal experience to back that up.

  Gabi sighed. “How bad is it this time?” she asked resignedly.

  “Let’s just say I’d better feed him before I tell you about it. I wouldn’t want him starting on me.”

  “Raz, you’re a bad boy!” Gabi admonished without any real rancour. That cat could get away with murder when Gabi was around.

  Kyle hoped Rose would give him a dressing down of momentous proportions later. Rose was the only other person Razor had more than bare tolerance for. Though she lectured him, chased him outside when the sun was shining and wouldn’t tolerate him destroying things like Gabi did, the cat seemed to actually like her. The same could not be said for Kyle, who Razor delighted in harassing at every opportunity. Maybe it was the age-old Cat versus Dog, or in this case wolf, thing. It was for Gabi’s sake not Razor’s that Kyle opened a cupboard and took out two tins of the most expensive cat food on the market, opened them and emptied both into a large ceramic bowl on the kitchen counter. Razor gave Gabi one last, big kitty smooch across her face, making her wince from the sting in the burn on her cheek, and walked languidly over to devour the food, pointedly ignoring Kyle.

  Gabi reached out patting at the counter until her fingers found the sweet bowl. She delved into the bowl pulling out a toffee, unwrapping it and shoving it in her mouth, then she began to unstrap the multitude of sheaths and holsters from her body and lay the weapons in a heap on the counter.

  The smell of fresh percolated coffee began to permeate the kitchen and Kyle opened another cupboard to pull out two large mugs with pictures of kittens and puppies on them. No wonder she didn’t invite other people over, Kyle thought slyly, if some of their SMV or her work colleagues saw these, her tough girl reputation would be in ruins. He poured coffee into both, added milk and sugar to one and pushed it over to Gabi, directing the fingers of her unburned hand to it. She gratefully breathed in the warm aromatic steam and quickly finished her sweet to take the first sip.

  “Hey,” he called cheerfully as another furry body galloped into the kitchen, “here comes Stinky, oops, I mean, Slinky!” he pretended to correct himself.

  He took a large slurp of his own coffee and bent down to pick up the ferret that had scampered in, blinking and half asleep, to see what the commotion was. At least the bandit-faced, little animal seemed to like him.

  Gabi had rescued the orphaned ferret from some illegal animal traders a couple of years ago. She’d brought him home with the intention of getting him healthy and finding him a suitable new home, but obscurely enough Razor seemed to quite like the other animal and had even deigned to keep the little mite warm during the cold winter months that followed his arrival, so Slinky had become a permanent member of the household. Slinky grew up with no real idea that he was a ferret, and, as Razor was his only animal companion, Slinky acted more like a cat than anything else. He did still have a distinct ferret odour to him though; hence Kyle’s continued mispronunciation of his name.

  “Come here baby,’ Gabi crooned to the wriggling animal, “don’t let Kyle be rude to you. He’s just a Labrador in any case, and have you ever smelt a wet dog?” she continued conspiratorially, trying to keep a wicked little grin off her face and failing.

  “Hurmph,” Kyle snorted, letting Slinky climb onto the kitchen counter and scamper over to Gabi. “Just remember who’s making your coffee at the moment. If you’re rude I’ll take it away,” he threatened.

  “Ok, Ok, anything but the coffee.” She scooped Slinky up and let him nuzzle her cheek and ear, then he climbed onto her shoulder and, weaving around her neck and under her hair like a live fur stole, the ferret settled down in his favourite spot.

  “The painkillers are in the cupboard above the oven,” she told Kyle. “Take what you want and give me a double dose; I’m getting a headache of gargantuan proportions.”

  Gabi was, as a rule, resistant to the effects of most drugs, including painkillers, so her cupboard contained some really strong medications. Through their SMV medical contacts they could get hold of most medicines, even the prescription only ones. Kyle took down a bottle of morphine based tablets and shook out a dose for her, then took out a codeine and paracetamol mix for himself. He healed far quicker than she did, and he wasn’t resistant to painkillers, so those would be good enough to dull the pain in his side and thigh while he healed. He handed her the tablets and a glass of water, took his own tablets and then went off to inspect the rest of the little house for Razor damage.

  “Well, there is one piece of good news this morning,” he told her as he returned from his once-over of the house. “The destruction was limited to the lounge this time. The bedrooms are still intact.”

  “Oh, thank all the gods of ancient Rome,” Gabi proclaimed with feeling. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

  “I’ve got sad news for you if you think Byron’s going to stay away past ten o’clock,” he reminded her.

  She groaned at the thought.

  “Do you know where the rubbish bags are?” he asked her. “I can start clearing up the lounge while you go and shower.” He wasn’t relishing the thought of bending to pick up couch shrapnel but Gabi wasn’t going to be able to do it.

  “Don’t be absurd,” she grumbled at him. “You’re hurt and just as tired as me. Rose will be here in a few hours, it’ll give her something to grouse at Raz about for the next few weeks. You hit the shower first, I’m sure the spare bedroom is ready for you, and you know where the towels are. I’m going to soak in the tub once you’re done.”

  “OK,” he capitulated, trying to keep the relief from his voice. A shower and bed was exactly what he had in mind right now. He would normally drive back to his pad now, it was only ten minutes away, but he didn’t w
ant to leave Gabi alone, even though she was trying to pretend not to feel the same way. Usually it took them both a couple of hours to wind down after a good fight, but the unexpected consequences of this one seemed to have drained the adrenaline straight out of them. They were both exhausted and missing the usual post-battle high.

  “Do you want me to take you to your room?” he asked, trying for a casual tone.

  “I do know the way around my own house,” she said reprovingly. “I’ll find my own way once I’m finished my coffee. Now, scat before I send you home, Labrador.”

  “Woof, woof,” Kyle responded obligingly, and, grabbing his coffee, headed for the shower.

  A few minutes later she popped her head into the bathroom. He was already standing under the flow of hot, soothing water, trying not to wince as the water washed over his lacerations. Nudity didn’t bother either of them and they had long since stopped worrying about the societal norms for opposite-sex best friends. Slinky was still wrapped around her neck and Razor was winding himself between her legs.

  “Do you need new dressings?” she raised her voice to be heard over the noise of the shower.

  He looked down at the wounds to see how far the healing had come.

  “Hmm,” his voice floated back. “Yeah, probably a good idea if you don’t want blood on the sheets.”

  “I don’t think Rose needs that much extra work; come to my room when you’re done, and I’ll help,” she called retreating from the bathroom. “The emergency kit is in the hall closet, bring it with you,” she yelled over her shoulder as she headed down the corridor to her bedroom.

  A while later they had clumsily managed to redress Kyle’s wounds. He grimaced when he saw the tears and bruising on his side, eternally grateful for the werewolf blood that would heal him in a matter of days. If he’d been full human he would’ve been out of action for weeks, if not months.