“I believe you are looking for this.”
My gaze kept to the hand, seeing my ring, making me smile, relieved. I righted myself, my eyes coming to the face of the stranger who had found my beloved ring, taken aback as the man who had plagued my thoughts stood before me!
I swallowed hard, looking him over, finally able to see his entire stature.
Of course, he was tall, very thin, confirming what I had seen the night before. Though the day was overcast, the little light picked up red hues in his beautiful lush brown hair pulled back with a black ribbon. His eyes sparkled green, though nothing like mine, darker, deeper, his skin pale and smooth, running over his prominent cheekbones, his cheeks themselves sunken in, attractively so. His defined jawline was looked over as the collar on his blouse upturned stiffly and brushed lightly against it. His lips were masculine, a peach color and the Cupid’s bow only had the slightest definition. I could only imagine he had a beautiful smile. This excited me further.
The knot of his neck cloth was hidden by the loose end of the fabric brought over, spread out neatly and tucked under into his blue and gold damask waistcoat. He had a Roquelaure cloak over his shoulders, his dark blue Dutch velvet frock coat, which had a stiff upturned collar as well, blue silk breeches poking out under his ensemble.
“Are you all right, my lady?” His voice was deep, very masculine, yet light, effortless.
I blinked as I nervously glanced around. “Yes, thank you…for finding my ring, thank you.”
“My pleasure.” He bowed his head to me respectfully as his dark eyes kept a lock on my own, taking my hand and slipping the ring on my finger.
“Annalee?” Bess called.
I turned towards her as she made her way through the crowd. When I turned back to the newcomer, he was gone. I searched around frantically trying to find him but couldn’t see him anywhere. His skill with evanescence was mind numbing.
Bess grabbed at my elbow. “Did you find it?”
I continued to look around for him. “Find what?” I turned to her, a confused look on her face.
“Your ring.” Her brow furrowed as she stepped away from me.
“Oh, my ring! Yes, a gentleman, he found my ring.” I held out my hand, showing the piece of jewelry to her.
She smiled and sighed in relief. “Oh, thank God. My heart nearly jumped out of me chest. Who was the young man, did you thank him?”
I glanced around, somewhat dazed, nodding my head slowly. “Yes. I did.”
We made our way back to the carriage, through the crowd of busy people, the entire time I scanned the streets, trying to find him.
* * * *
I sat out in the yard on the edge of the fountain, running my hand along the water, my shawl falling from my shoulders around me.
I had spent most of the afternoon there, thinking, searching through my mind trying to keep the image of the gentleman, my newcomer, in my head, not even taking notice of Higgins who was asleep and snoring on the grass in the warm sunlight.
Who was he?
I was one hundred percent sure now I wasn’t imagining things, and better yet, he wasn’t just passing through! I did see him and he was in town. I will admit there was a small part of me that thought this dark newcomer existed only in my mind. I was making him up as a means of escape from my dull life. But no! I had proven to myself he was real, not a figment of my imagination.
My mind kept looking over his face, admiring each feature. He seemed so out of place in town, like being around people was not a normal occurrence for him. His eyes were such a brilliant green, so dark—amazing brilliant emeralds, an even darker emerald than my ring, which I kept looking at.
There was something about him I just couldn’t put my finger on. I knew there was something in his voice…there was a reason he was as he was, a reason I was thinking of him. I couldn’t get over how uncomfortable he appeared with the people walking around him. Though the thought would quickly disperse when I thought of his beautiful eyes and his voice.
I peered into the water seeing my reflection, my black hair waving in the wind, reflecting the sun. My eyes weren’t nearly as interesting as his, a light green. My face was young…milky pale skin, heart shaped and my jaw line feminine.
I continued staring, smiling lightly as I imagined him sitting beside me, holding my hand, a soft caress. I could only imagine how soft his skin would be, very pale but youthful. I bit my lip, the image in my head leaning forward to me slowly, his lips coming within inches of my own.
“Annalee!” Dale’s voice rang through suddenly, shattering everything in front of me.
I turned to him, as he walked from the house, smiling, as usual. His light green frock coat’s buttons sparkled in the light, the material from it blending into his breeches. He wasn’t dressed nearly as nicely as my dark newcomer.
I suddenly felt my heart jump. I had not spent as much time as I had planned to on what I was going to say to Dale, his visit coming faster than I thought. I had spent too much of the day thinking of the mysterious man from town, I hadn’t given one thought to the speech I was planning on voicing to Dale.
He walked up, stopping a few feet from me. “I hear you got your mask today. Was it an enjoyable outing?
I smiled up at him. “Yes, quite.”
“Well, shall we go inside for tea?” He only noticed Higgins as he snored loudly.
My eyes went to the fountain. “Being such a lovely day, why don’t we stay out here? I actually have something I wish to speak to you about. Would you walk with me?”
I stood up, fiddling with my fingers, feeling my ring under my thumb.
He nodded lightly. “All right.”
I started walking, Dale followed behind me until he was able to catch up. “So, why are we walking?” he asked.
I bit my lip thinking quickly as how I was going to gently refuse his proposal. “Well, I would like to talk to you about something.”
He nodded. “All right.”
I pursed my lips for a moment, stopping and turning to him. “Yesterday, you caught me rather by surprise, asking me to marry you. In all honesty, I really did not have enough time to think about what you were asking me.”
“You are having second thoughts?” he asked, looking from the ground up to me.
I could already see the sadness, the hurt. I turned to him, grabbing his hands gently. “I would not call them second thoughts, more of first thoughts, only thoughts.”
“Only thoughts,” he repeated, looking to our hands.
“I want to ask you something,” I said.
He nodded. “Anything.”
“Will you give me more time to think about everything?” I twisted my head to the side, trying to look into his eyes.
“More time,” he said. I knew he was upset. One, or two word answers were always what Dale resorted to when he was upset.
“Wouldn’t you agree marriage is a very serious step?” I asked.
He nodded, looking up, but not to me. “Yes, I would…which is why I asked you.”
“I understand your reasons,” I said. “But, Dale, this will depict the rest of our lives. I am not saying this because of you. I would be saying this to another person if the circumstances were the same. I do not want to jump into something and then find out a few years down the road we may have made a mistake. You understand?”
He nodded again, licking his lips, his eyes meeting my own. “I can agree. Marriage is a very…serious question. I just thought such a question was appropriate after three years.”
I sighed. “I just want a little more time. I really would like to think about…what you are asking me.”
I was careful with everything I said. I didn’t want him to think I was brushing him off, but I also wanted him to know I cared for him. I knew he cared for me, but I didn’t care for him the same way. I just didn’t know how to say that to him. My courage failed me.
His attention seemed to be on the trees behind us, watching as they bowed in the wind. “Ho
w much time would you need?”
I frowned. “I do not really know. I am unsure, there is no limit. I just need time to think. I promise as soon as I have made my decision you will be the first to know, even if it is the wee hours of the morning.”
He smirked, his eyes coming to mine. “The wee hours? Well, all right, I can see what you mean. I will give you the time to properly make your decision.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small light blue jewelry box. “I guess I will need to hold onto this then.”
I swallowed hard as I realized this must be the ring he was going to put on my finger. I nodded. “Yes, for now.”
He frowned, putting the box back in his pocket. “You really are not like other girls, Annalee. I was sure that seeing the box you would have changed your mind.” He laughed lightly, his attention now on the ground.
I wanted to smile, but I thought it somewhat inappropriate. “Well as you said, I am not like other girls. A ring is just a ring.”
I turned to see Higgins sitting up by the fountain looking around for me.
This time I smiled. “Higgins! Come here!”
As soon as he heard my voice, he located where it was coming from and began barreling towards me.
“Definitely not like other girls,” he laughed.
I was able to convince Dale to take tea outside, at the little marble table in the garden outside the doors leading into the sitting room. Nothing changed, the visit was still boring as usual, but he cut things short, leaving quite abruptly. I assumed this was because he was still quite wounded from my asking him to inform everyone there was a change in plans. I had to explain there was no engagement if I had not said ‘yes’ yet. I still understood he must have been upset and he needed time to be alone, as well as announce the change.
I made my way into the house, the sun sinking down making the whole field look ablaze, the oranges and reds a warm but eerie glow.
My father did not get home in time for us to play bridge and I sadly ate supper alone. I hated eating alone. More time to think and daydream. I had to admit, such things did not help my current situation. Every time I would pull my mind away from the dark newcomer, somehow it would find a way back to him.
Chapter Four
A Mirage–All That Glistens Is Not Gold
I was informed later on in the evening that my father was still tending to patients. His assistant got his schedule quite muddled after he assisted a colleague at the university.
Another night alone. My nights were getting lonelier and lonelier as time moved on.
I decided to sit in my father’s study and do a little reading. I admired the leather bound cover of the book in my hands. I was fortunate enough in that my father had taught me from home. Most young ladies are sent to a convent to learn, caged away.
I smiled in appreciation of his foresight. One might say my father is at fault for my vast imagination.
I turned towards the fireplace, feeling the heat radiating from the glowing logs, warm and comforting. I let my head fall back on the plush armchair, my eyes slowly beginning to close as the heat wrapped around me like a warm blanket. I wasn’t asleep. I was in that lovely in-between place aware of everything around me, yet my mind wandered. Of course my thoughts wandered back to the same person, his beautiful eyes looking deep into mine. I could see my newcomer looking at me as Dale had never—and would never—look at me, lovingly, perhaps even…lustfully?
A cold chill entered the room and swept around me, creeping into my bones, making me shift uncomfortably from the tension within me. I opened my eyes slowly to look about, specifically to the fire.
No…still lit. What…?
The heat from fire was strangled, stifled from the immense draft wafting in, which made my skin crawl.
I then got the feeling of eyes on me, like someone was watching. I stood up slowly, putting my book on the table beside the armchair, looking around once more. The room was empty, of course—not even Higgins was there—and still quite cold.
I turned and grabbed my shawl off the chair, wrapping the material around myself tightly, hugging my shoulders.
I walked out of the room and into the hall, making my way to the staircase. I stopped, the feeling of being watched continuing. I turned, looking behind me.
“Bess? Is that you? I think I am going to go off to bed now.”
I tried to peer down the darkened hallway, seeing nothing and no one. My heart began to speed up, fear slithering up my spine.
There is no one there. You are just being foolish.
As I turned around, I bumped into Bess and let out a scream.
“My God, child! You scared me half to death!” She put her hand over her heart.
“You? What about me? Dear Lord.” I began to pant heavily, adrenaline running through me.
She shook her head. “I thought I heard you call to me.”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. “I am going to bed now. Where is Father?”
I didn’t hear him come home, but looking into the foyer, I saw his valise and frock coat strewn on the wooden bench by the door.
“He has just come in. He is in the sitting room. Run along to bed. You can see him in the morning. I will be up to help you out of your gown.”
She grabbed my arm and began to usher me to the staircase where I made my way up to my bedchamber. I shrugged off the feeling of being watched. I blamed myself for letting my imagination run wild.
I walked into the room, over to my window, looking out into the darkened night. I had a sense of longing, though I didn’t know what for. Perhaps for freedom? Or perhaps just for companionship. I thought about the word before…lustfully, such a word. Would I ever experience such desire? I think I was, for my stranger newcomer.
The moon was shining brightly, sitting comfortably in the deep pool of night sky with little twinkling stars all around. The far off forest was lightly outlined by the light cast down, the shadows looking a dark blue and moving as the wind blew lightly through the trees.
I turned and walked to the center of the room and sat on the floor. I felt the urge to cry, but felt incredibly silly for wanting to do so at the same time.
I want something…
I looked up as Bess walked into the room.
“Oh no, what is wrong?” She walked over, recognizing the motions I usually went through when I was upset. She walked passed me to the wardrobe, grabbing my nightgown and turning as she slung it over the changing screen.
“I am not upset. I am being silly.” My eyes fell to my hands as I played with the ring on my finger. I had no intention of letting Bess know I wanted something, yet I didn’t know what, completely foolish. She began talking, but my eyes glazed over as I began to daydream, seeing the man from town sitting beside me on the floor. I smiled as Bess walked up in front of me.
“Did you hear anything I said?” She had an unimpressed expression on her face.
“Hmm?” I looked up to her, her voice finally ringing through.
She shook her head. “Like talking to the bloody wall. Come on now, I will help you get changed.”
Again, I wasn’t really paying attention as Bess dressed me for bed. The next thing I knew I was in my bed, warm and comfortable as she extinguished the candles in the room and left, closing the door tightly behind her. I searched the darkness as the feeling of being watched returned.
If there is something in this room, I hope it will do me a favor and put me out of my misery.
I turned on my side towards the window and buried my face in my pillow. As I drifted off to sleep the feeling of being watched continued as a cold draft filled the room.
* * * *
I awoke the next morning just as every day. I was woken by Bess, who helped me wash and then dressed me for the day in a white petticoat and a blue striped robe, much like my green one, save for the color.
I went down to the dining room to see my father before he left for the day. I ate alone, with Higgins at my side snoring loudly. There w
as no need to go to town today, so I had nothing to fill my morning and part of my afternoon. I was left in the house alone, Bess doing her regular chores. She never liked the way the servant cleaned the manor.
In the sitting room, I walked over to the door leading into the back garden, staring through the window to the fountain. The day was warm, the sun shining brightly.
Something in the way the sun reflected off of the water made me want to be outside. I turned with the intention to run to the dining room and grab my shawl but stopped, the light pink piece of material suddenly sitting on the chair at the small tea table. I pointed, my eyes scanning the room. Strange, had I brought it with me?
I must have… I bit my bottom lip as I thought about where I had left it, shaking my head and picking up the garment as I turned and went outside.
I walked through the grass as Higgins caught sight of me from far off near the forest, and began to bark, wagging his tail as he barreled towards me. I made my way over to the fountain and sat on the side, looking into the water. I wasn’t outside five minutes when Bess ran out of the house with a piece of paper in her hands.
“Hmm, I wonder what I have done now,” I said aloud as she approached.
She walked up to me, handing me the piece of paper. “Seems like you have an invite from Mister Pertrew again.”
I sighed, annoyed. “He does not seem to get the hint, does he?” I opened the letter and scanned through it. Surprised, my eyes went from the page to her. “This is not from Sean. The writing is Dale’s. He hasn’t sent me a formal invitation like this for two years.”
“Perhaps he feels he should start at the beginning to win you over?” She studied the elegant paper in my hands.
“Hmm. Well he has invited me to The Merchant of Venice. I do so want to see the play. I told him weeks ago, but he told me I should not waste my time. Strange. He must have had a change of heart. I suppose I should write my reply.” I stood up, upset I would have to go inside to write my letter and miss out on what was left of the beautiful day. Strangely though, I felt drawn back into the house.
“So you won’t be going?” Bess began to lead the way back into the house.
Out of My Grave Page 5