Out of My Grave

by Stephanie O'Hanlon

  I shook my head. “No, I will. I have wanted to see this play for quite some time.”

  I went inside, writing my letter of reply, telling Dale I would be happy to accompany him to the playhouse.

  Such a request was quite out of character for Dale, to actually write me a letter, or a formal invitation. He would usually tell me during one of his boring visits that he wanted to go to a dinner party or event of some kind. He never took me to operas or plays—nothing I enjoyed doing. Perhaps Bess was right, maybe I had scared him. Maybe I had made him realize he would need to win me over, though he was unaware he really had no chance of winning the prize.

  I spent the rest of the day reading, occasionally playing with Higgins and doing some embroidery to pass the time. The draft returned while I was in the sitting room, which I tried to ignore, going back to my business. I assumed it was because the house was old…don’t old houses get drafty?

  When the time rolled around, Bess did as usual and helped me change for the night ahead. She put me in a solid pink gown, the petticoat and open robe matching, pink ruffles up the center of the bodice with little buttons lining it.

  I was actually quite excited! For the first time he had invited me to do something I wanted to do!

  * * * *

  I smiled brightly when Bess opened the door to the sitting room and I found Dale waiting for me, standing near the fire. Dressed in a dark blue frock coat and breeches with a light blue waistcoat underneath, he presented himself well.

  I couldn’t help being impressed. He didn’t even have the usual look of discomfort on his face. He often complained about breeches and stockings, saying they pinched or were uncomfortable. I was partial to a man in a dashing frock coat, much like the one I had seen my newcomer wearing.

  He seemed a little surprised, smiling lightly. “Well, you look…lovely. I hope your evening has been well.”

  I nodded. “It has. You look well yourself.”

  Even though I was impressed, I was also unsure. I didn’t know what he was up to yet. I didn’t understand his motives, if he had any.

  He held his hand out—which I took cautiously—and led me to the carriage, helping me inside. I was smiling all the way to the theatre, and honestly, I was ignoring him. I wasn’t going to let him ruin my evening, something he was completely capable of. I knew the moment I started a conversation with him he was going to ask me the question I wanted to hear nothing about. He would want to know if I had made my decision in the short time we were apart.

  I felt the carriage halt and my heart began to beat faster, suddenly excited. I didn’t know why I was excited, but I knew there was definitely a reason to be excited for this play.

  “Annalee,” Dale’s voice burst through my thoughts. “I was wondering…did you give any thought to our, to our…situation?”

  I felt my new high drop off. I sighed. “No, I have not. Well I have given it thought, but I have not decided yet. Dale, only a day has past. You honestly thought—”

  “No, no, I knew you had not. I just thought I would…check in. I am sorry. Not another word on the matter, I promise.” He smiled though he seemed hurt.

  Dale seemed to have a way of making me feel absolutely horrible. He only had to give me one look—a terrible look—like I had ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. But, he seemed to have recovered himself—his entire attitude had changed. I didn’t know if all this was because I had broken his heart or because he was trying to strategize. Though, I always thought Dale wouldn’t have the wits to make a strategic attack.

  I stopped as the door to the carriage opened. “Dale, you hate the theatre. You hate opera. You hate the symphony! Why would you invite me to one of those events suddenly, after nearly three years of ignoring them?”

  He sat back, clearing his throat. “I never said I hated them. I just said I did not see the point. But if going makes you happy, I will gladly attend.” He smiled, seeming satisfied with his own response. “I realized I should perhaps be more attentive to your interests.”

  I rolled my eyes, not convinced of his story. I knew something was going on.

  I decided to drop the subject, watching as he got out of the carriage first before helping me down.

  I was quite surprised as Dale led me to a box on the third level balcony, lined up with the lip of the stage.

  The King’s Theatre was grand. Of course, fit for the King. There were six levels, the first actually having several boxes on the stage, and the very top being so high up I didn’t know how anyone could see the players down below.

  In front of the stage, stretching widely both across and down the entire length of the theatre, were hundreds of seats. On the odd occasions my father took me to see a play, we usually sat in one of the moderately priced seats. Being on the balcony with all the other wealthy patrons was quite the treat.

  I sat down in my seat and looked about, smiling as my heart beat quickly. My legs started to shake. Something was going to happen! I didn’t know what, but I was finally at the theatre. I was so close!

  “You like the seats?” Dale beamed, looking at me, smiling.

  My eyes met with his. “Oh yes. They are wonderful. You can see the stage perfectly. It must have cost you a small fortune to secure them.”

  “Well,” he began, “they are usually Sean’s seats. He mentioned he could not make the play this evening, so he offered them to me.”

  A feeling of revulsion crept up my spine. “Sean? This is Sean’s box?”

  I was completely disgusted. I saw exactly what was going on. Dale had spoken to Sean about the engagement being put on hold—at least, I hoped he had. He must have told Sean of his concerns about me rejecting his proposal. Sean would have offered the box and reminded Dale I wanted to see the play. Dale was using Sean’s tactics…and I was disgusted.

  I turned away from Dale and kept my eyes to the stage, angered. My mouth pursed with tension as I tried to keep my eyes anywhere but on Dale, seeing the crowd below, up to the other boxes. One caught my eye. Sitting beside a beautiful blonde woman was my dark newcomer!

  My heart sped up, a shock running through me. The woman leaned against him, stroking his plush, red Dutch velvet frock coat, trimmed with golden brocade embroidery edging it and around the cuffs.

  Honestly, he appeared almost uninterested in the woman, who clung to him like a leech, something he seemed uncomfortable with. He surveyed the crowd, just as I had done, his eyes coming up and meeting with mine. I felt another pulse run through me, though I continued to stare at him, a half-smile pulling at the side of his mouth.

  My face suddenly felt warm with a blush as I bit my lip, looking away from him. Strangely, it wasn’t the same type of a blush when one is embarrassed—it was actually quite a good feeling, exciting. I looked down as the curtain began to rise, the players taking their places on stage.

  The entire time I couldn’t focus on the play. My eyes kept wandering off to my newcomer across the way, watching as the woman beside him shifted closer, held his arm and let her head rest on his shoulder.

  He kept strangely still, not moving a muscle until he turned to her, whispered in her ear, caused her to blush, much the same as I had. She laughed lightly, stroking his arm annoyingly. Seeing her do so frustrated me no end!

  He turned back to the performance, which he seemed genuinely interested in. Every so often he looked back up to me, meeting my eyes before I quickly turned away, trying not to make it obvious I was staring.

  I smiled brightly, standing with everyone else and clapping. I enjoyed what I paid attention to, but I had to admit I enjoyed the stolen glances to my newcomer much more.

  I turned to Dale, who yawned, obvious bored out of his mind. I glanced over to him a few times during the performance and thought he may have been sleeping. I was annoyed beyond all reason.

  I quickly glanced over to see the box where my newcomer was, which was now empty. My excitement had worn off, and I was a little disappointed he had sneaked off with tha
t woman…probably while we were all applauding.

  Dale and I made our way to the grand foyer where a gentleman brought me my cloak.

  “So, did you enjoy yourself?” Dale asked, still looking a tad sleepy, but smiling nonetheless. He must have thought he did well in his little effort to win me over.

  I nodded my head and rolled my eyes. “Yes, I did.”

  “Good! I am glad,” he smiled. “Oh, I thought perhaps we could go to Sean’s parent’s welcome home party tomorrow evening. We could thank him for the box.”

  I looked to him and sighed. “I suppose. Do you know if Peter or Deirdre will be there?” I figured if I was going to such an event, familiar company might as well surround me. I knew Kimberly and James would certainly be there. Sean never had an event without them. I wanted to avoid them, but I suppose with Dale accepting my invites for me, that was not a possibility.

  “Oh the entire town will be there,” he exaggerated, holding his arm out to me.

  The entire town…

  I took his arm, walking with him to the carriage. I began thinking about it; if the ‘entire town’ were invited, surely my newcomer would be there as well. Wouldn’t he?

  The event would give me a chance to speak to him, ask his name and thank him properly for finding my ring. I suddenly felt excitement again. My heart sped up.

  When I arrived home, Bess welcomed me at the door. We made our way up the stairs and she began to get me out of my gown.

  “You seem awfully excited. I expected you would be a little tired. I suppose you had a grand time at the theatre?” She tugged at the front of my gown, removing the ruffles.

  “Yes. I saw the young gentleman, the one who found my ring.” I tried to tip toe around the subject. I didn’t want her to know of my obsessing.

  She pulled the over-skirt down and I stepped out of it. “What young gentleman?” she asked vaguely as she folded the garment over the chair.

  I turned to her. “Um, the young gentleman from town. That found my ring. Remember?”

  She nodded. “Oh yes. What about him?” She seemed confused.

  “I saw him at the play. He had a box and was with a young woman. She was all over him, even though he was quite cold to her physically.”

  I continued to picture him in my mind, though the girl beside him was a blur. I didn’t know who she was nor even cared. All I was concerned with was picturing him, staring at him all I liked, without the chance of him catching my stares.

  “Annalee? Are you all right? Did you hear what I said?”

  I looked to her and shook my head. “I am sorry, no.”

  She sighed. “A girl has gone missing. The news was all over town today.”

  “Oh, that’s horrible.”

  Bess continued to undress me, getting me into my nightgown before she led me over to my bed, tucking me in. She blew out the candles, closing the door on her way out.

  The room was shrouded in darkness, though in my mind’s eye I could see a bright light, a beautiful stage with the smell of flowers. I couldn’t tell what the flowers were, but the smell was amazing. They made the entire stage seem smaller, bringing everything closer together.

  My eyes closed slowly, as I felt my hair waving against my back, which felt incredibly bare. I took in the scent deeply, my head swimming and my body getting warm all over. I opened my eyes slowly to see my dark newcomer just as he was in the evening in his red attire, reaching his hand out to me, his eyes seeming to speak to me.

  I couldn’t understand what they were saying, a thousand voices whispering to me.

  “I cannot hear you! I don’t understand!” I shouted, shaking my head.

  I looked down to see I was naked, my nightgown gone and my skin glistening from the candlelight surrounding us. I stepped towards him, my words being forced out in a conscious effort to speak. “Please! I cannot hear you!”

  His eyes continued to stare at me, his face saddening as he began to turn away. I began to panic.

  “No! Wait!”

  I began to run but my legs felt as if they were made of sand. I couldn’t move more than two steps before I fell to the floor, unable to get up again. It was like speaking, a conscious effort but no simple task. I began to kick frantically until my eyes whipped open and I sat up in my bed, jumping out from under the blankets and standing by the window where the moon shone in. I was panting heavily, sweat running down my forehead as my eyes danced around the darkened room, looking the same as always.

  I shook my head, my heart beating frantically as I looked down at my nightgown and pulled at the fabric.

  It was a dream.

  I took a deep breath and sighed heavily, putting my hand over my heart, calming it. I slowly made my way back to the bed, getting under the blankets, which were still warm. I laid back, let my head fall on one of the many pillows around me, and swallowed hard. I knew it was not going to be a good night.

  Chapter Five

  Provocation

  When I awoke in the morning, my head ached painfully and over all, I was not feeling my best. I had very little sleep. Every time I dozed off, I had a horrid dream which included my dark newcomer. As the night went on the dreams got worse, one involving spiders, another involving snakes grabbing hold of me trying to prevent me from reaching him. There was always something, some dangerous obstacle to stop me from getting close to him—my own legs unable to work, snakes, vines, or other people. I was deeply unsettled, surprised I had not woken the entire house. I’m quite sure I screamed and called out in the night.

  I walked down the steps very slowly, the slightest movement adding to the throbbing of my head.

  Today was the first day I didn’t care what color Bess had chosen for me. I couldn’t even be bothered to take note of it. I sighed as I sat down at the table. My father looked up from his paper.

  “Hello, Poppet,” he said, his countenance suddenly covered with concern. “Are you all right? You look ill.”

  He jumped up immediately from his seat and rushed over to me. My father was usually a composed physician, dealing with even the most excitable situations with a great calm about him, but when his own child was ill he was an awful fret, worrying like an old woman.

  I felt his hand on my forehead, as he looked me over and into my eyes.

  I pushed his hand away from my head. “I’m fine. I did not get much sleep last night.” My eyes went to him tiredly, slumping down further into my chair.

  “Hmm…yes. I heard. Tossing and turning, even letting out a word or two…I checked on you several times.”

  He stepped back and let his one hand rest on the table, supporting him as he put the other on his hip, the dark hair on his arms where his blouse sleeves were rolled up picking up the light cast in from the windows.

  I felt bad about disturbing him. I knew he needed his rest.

  “I wish you hadn’t. I am sure it was all the excitement yesterday. I let my imagination run wild and it followed me as I slept,” I said as I tried to sit up, though I gave up quickly.

  He curled his upper lip under his mustache as his bottom lip thinned out and nodded. “Perhaps I should stay with you today? Keep an eye on you.”

  I shook my head determinedly. “No, I am fine. I will lie down later on in the day. I should be fine. I have engagements I need to keep tonight.”

  Memories of my newcomer flashed through my mind. I hoped he would be present at the party to celebrate the arrival of Sean’s parent’s back in London.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Poppet. After all, you did not get all that much sleep. You may become faint.”

  I shook my head. “All the more reason to leave and come home. I am fine. Really, stop making a fuss. You will be late for work.”

  I stood and kissed him on the cheek. I planned on attending the evening. I wanted to see my newcomer beyond reasonable thinking.

  He smiled and walked over to his seat, picking up his frock coat from the chair and valise from the floor. “All right, but promise me you will
get some rest today, hmm? When I get home we will discuss you going out for the evening.”

  He walked over to me and kissed my forehead.

  I smiled and nodded. There was no use in worrying him—after all, I was fine.

  He dashed out the door and I sat down in my chair, staring down at the eggs in front of me. The thought of food sickened me, but I forced myself to eat what I could to show an effort on my part.

  Bess came out of the kitchen and over to me, feeling my forehead. “Are you all right, dearie? You should go and lie down. I will bring you a cup of tea.”

  She helped me out of my chair and I made my way up to my bedchamber.

  I stood in the doorway and stared at my bed. Sleeping seemed to be what was causing my problem. Well, lack of sleep. I had too much on my mind. Worse yet was the all-consuming thoughts of a complete stranger. Each time I thought about him, it fuelled the desire to ask questions and my curiosity hounded me.

  My dreams further convinced me there was something different about him. Whatever it was, I was being drawn in. I had nearly convinced myself it was because he was out of the ordinary.

  I didn’t return to my bed. Instead, the rest of the day I sat in my father’s study, wrapped in a blanket, drinking tea. I dozed off twice— both being dreamless sleeps, mainly from exhaustion.

  The day seemed to pass quickly. The next thing I knew I was dressed in a robe à l’Anglaise the color of a robin’s egg and being escorted into Sean’s home. I sighed heavily, a servant taking my cloak as Dale took off the horrid brown hat that matched his suit.

  I turned and glanced into the looking-glass in the foyer, checking myself, making sure I didn’t look as disheveled as I felt. I was quite pleased with my appearance tonight. My hair was fastened up. One lock—draped down over my shoulder—surprisingly held a curl, taking the focus off the dark circles under my eyes. Bess and I tried our best to disguise them with face powder.

  I smiled tiredly at my reflection. At least I look decent.

  Dale tried to take my hand but I quickly crossed my arms, keeping them out of his reach.