Out of My Grave

by Stephanie O'Hanlon

  He turned back to the fireplace where he was silent for a few moments. Then his voice seeped out. “I think you should leave, Annalee.”

  The pain in my stomach returned, as if someone was stabbing at me. He was back to this again. I couldn’t think, my voice coming out breathlessly, “What? Why?”

  His back hunched over, as if in pain also. “Please don’t talk like that. I hate hearing that pain in your voice.” He turned slightly, as if he was going to look at me, make eye contact, but he stopped. “I think this needs to stop…”

  He was fighting with himself, trying to say something, I knew what it was, I was hoping against it though.

  “I don’t understand—”

  As my voice trembled out, he winced in pain. “Annalee, I think you do.”

  “I…we…I don’t—” The stutters were all that escaped me. I took a deep breath and refocused my thoughts. “Please tell me what is going on? Please?”

  “Last night was…it was intense. I did not leave you after I brought you home. I stayed and watched you sleep in the shadows, making my way back into your bedchamber from your window. I was watching you this morning…with Mister MacMurphy and your father.” He stopped, seemingly angered.

  I thought back to what had happened. I was deliriously happy from my visit with Vincent, anything and everything anyone said to me was no never mind to me. I was still searching for the memory, the specifics, as his voice began again.

  “The way he was looking at you, the way he was…pining. I wanted to rip you away from him…” His voice was so confused, unaware of what was going on, though it took on a darker tone.

  I was secretly enjoying what he was saying. He was jealous of Dale. But, why? There was no comparing Vincent to Dale.

  “I could see myself killing him. I don’t know why. Since I met you, you have astounded me. You were wrong when you said I would not kill you. It is I could not kill you. There was always something stopping me.”

  My eyes filled with tears as I bit my lower lip.

  “It was always different things at different times, the way you said a certain word, the way your hair swayed, the way you moved your hand. I found it endearing. I still find those things and many others endearing. It is to a point now where I see them as mine, something you only do when you are near me. The way you smiled this morning when you were with him, it was my smile.”

  The tears slipped down my face easily, a feeling of betrayal seeping into me, like I had actually betrayed him in some way, just with a smile. “That is because my thoughts were of you. They were not of Dale. He just happened to be there.”

  He seemed to discard what I said, continuing on. “I have still been trying to find out what is wrong with me. I think I know what it is. You speak or do something that I affiliate as mine and I fall in love with you each time all over again. I know I cannot harm you. I know I would never do that.”

  He paused, looking to the floor. He wanted to say more, I knew he did.

  “I think I may hurt others, people you care about. Normally I would not care about them, you know that. You know my demeanor when it comes to the kill. I just…”

  “What? You just what?” The tears started to well up again, though I tried my best to fight them.

  He turned towards me. “Annalee, I am desperately in love with you. I feel as though I am condemning you, making you a prisoner of that love. I want you to be as human as everyone else. I want you to be happy. I want to preserve that. Your father is worried I will do something to you, hurt you. I am harming you—in the way of you being a normal woman.”

  I began to shake my head violently. My voice broke though I felt like I was holding my composure quite well. “I am only happy when I am with you. Call me a foolish girl, but I have never felt as I do now, as I do when I am with you. You would deny me that, for what? A pulse? A heartbeat? One that would surely cease if you were to leave me.”

  “Annalee, please. You are making this harder than I want it to be.” I could hear the pain in his voice—it filled the room.

  “You just stood there and told me you are in love with me—again—and you expect me to turn and walk away from that, Vincent? Especially since I return those feelings? You know I do!” I walked forward only to be stopped by his voice, which seemed to always have a hold on me.

  He put out his hand. “No, don’t.”

  I shook my head angrily, tears falling from my eyes. I wasn’t going to be able to hold myself much longer. “Why, Vincent?”

  He eyes kept to the floor until they slowly moved up to me. “Because if I hold you in my arms, I will not be able to let go and you will be condemned.”

  My tears silently made their way down my face as I walked up to him, placing my hands on his shoulders and reaching around, grabbing hold of him. I was not going to let go.

  He took a deep breath, trying to fight himself, as usual. I knew he was trying to resist wrapping his arms around me. He buckled slightly, regaining himself, but as I let my head rest on his shoulder he quickly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close into him and resting his head on mine.

  He pulled me away from him, putting his hands on either side of my face. “This is it. Love is forever and for a vampire that is truer than you think.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  A Predator, An Attack

  In the carriage we sat close, my head resting on his chest, feeling the cold from it on my cheek, which was flushed from our discussion from before. Even through his violet brocade waistcoat and blouse I could I feel the cold, though I knew soon enough we would be inside and it would change completely.

  I could feel my heart pumping, my blood rushing through my skin, but nothing but silence came from Vincent. I could hear his lungs pumping air in and out at a regular pace but no beat from his heart sounding.

  As I tried to bask in the warmth of Vincent, I realized I was finally getting exactly what I wanted. However, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that my father, of all people, did not approve of my happiness. What would we do if he put his foot down and refused to let me see Vincent?

  I frowned, turning my face into his chest, smelling him, taking him in deeply. I loved being right where I was though I was being the damper on my own happiness.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice deep. It was soft, gentle, I had a feeling it would be more like that from then on.

  “What do you mean?”

  I could feel him smirking under me, his voice losing some of its concern. “You are saddened by something. I have told you, you cannot hide anything from me. I do not want you to. I promise I will not behave as I did earlier, again.”

  I glanced up to him, getting caught up in his brilliant green eyes as they surveyed my face. I paused for a moment. “What will we do?” My eyes went from his eyes to his mouth, awaiting a response.

  He smirked, not understanding. “What will we do?”

  I kept his gaze. “Yes. What will we do when it is over…when they tell me I cannot see you anymore?”

  “What makes you think they will go to such lengths?” He held me more tightly.

  At the back of my eyes I felt the urge to cry, something I tried to hold back. “All good things come to an end.”

  His brow furrowed. “I will not let them take you away from me.”

  I sat up, looking to his neck. “But Vincent, what is our future like?”

  “It is whatever we want it to be.” He smiled. “We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. Wherever you want to go, I will take you. Anything you want to do, I will make it happen. I will do anything you wish of me.”

  He pulled me back into him, holding me tight. Not too tight, but just tight enough to know he didn’t want to let me go. I turned, facing him, my hand supporting me on his rock hard chest, the cold still seeping through his clothing.

  “While I am human? So different from you…it seems to be filled with a lot of complications.” I kept my eyes locked on his.

  He got a look of anger
on his face, turning away from me, looking across the carriage. “You cannot ask me to do that.”

  I reached out and turned his face towards me. “Why not?”

  He tried to keep his eyes away from mine, still unsettled from my previous question. “Because, you know I would do it. If you want it…I would do it for you. I cannot deny you anything, Annalee.”

  I smiled. “You would? Really?”

  “Of course. What sickens me is I like the thought of it.” He stroked my cheek. “I do not want you to ask that of me.”

  It pained me that it upset him so much. I never really gave much thought to what it would be like to be like Vincent, to be dead, the undead. I really only thought that if it was the only solution, perhaps we needed to do it. I knew exactly what I wanted… forever to be with Vincent. Maybe being like him was the only way to fulfill that.

  “But, you really mean it? If I asked you—maybe not now, but sometime in the future—you would do it for me?”

  The thought of him not being able to deny me something, his love for me overtaking his common sense to make me happy warmed me all over. For a creature that was supposed to be selfish and hold no mercy, he was so selfless and loving towards me.

  “You are not asking it of me now?” he asked, eyeing me, unsure.

  I smiled. “I am not. I just need your assurance that if I did asked you, if I really felt it was the right decision, you would do it. If someone tried to keep us apart.”

  He nodded, pulling my face towards him. “The moment you said it.” He kissed me before he pulled away from me, his head falling back, looking me over, his hand still holding my face gently. “I like you human, but if you really wanted to be…otherwise, I would do everything within my power to make it a reality.”

  I let my head rest in his hand, kissing his palm.

  He perked up suddenly. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

  He ripped his hand away from me, reaching into his pocket. I sat up leaning towards him as he opened his palm to reveal a gold-banded ring with a round amethyst gem in the middle of it, sitting largely as the light reflected off of it.

  I smiled at him. “Where did you get that?”

  He smirked. “I did not steal it off of one of victims, if that is what you mean, and I did not purchase it in town. It was my mother’s. She gave it to me just before she got ill. It was her engagement ring…well her mother’s engagement ring.” His eyes went from the ring up to me.

  I searched in my mind about Vincent’s stories of his mother, how she was tall, statuesque, had long red hair and the same piercing green eyes he did. She was a noble woman, married to an English Duke, though he was born in America and she herself was from Scotland. I always pictured her as being very intimidating because of the way Vincent spoke of her. She died of the plague just before Vincent was turned into a vampire, escaping her husband’s abuse.

  “Engagement ring?” I said as my eyes went wide, biting my bottom lip.

  “She told me to give it to the girl of my choosing, the one I wanted to marry. I hadn’t come across one in over one hundred years. I have searched to find a woman whose eyes I could see myself in.” He grabbed my hand and slid the ring on my ring finger on my left hand. “I can clearly see myself in yours, Annalee. That is why I was in your rooms, staring into your eyes. I could not understand how I could see my own reflection. Maybe love is the key.”

  I kept my eyes on his, never looking to the ring or away from him. His eyes went from the ring to my eyes, leaning in slowly to me. My lips quickly met his, though the carriage coming to a halt broke us apart.

  The carriage had stopped in front of Sean’s home, a very familiar occurrence. I stepped out and gave a quick glance to the bridge where I had seen Vincent so long ago, a shiver running through me. I looked over to see him with his hand extended to take mine. His eyes flashed quickly towards the bridge then back to me. He remembered it too!

  “I suppose you do not want to be here too long?” he asked as we stood for a moment while the driver waited.

  I shook my head. “Not really. I want to, of course, speak with Deirdre and Peter but we needn’t stay and mingle for long.”

  “Ah.” He smiled. “We can always duck out and go back to my manor, where I will make endless, passionate love to you.”

  I smiled as he leaned into my neck, kissing it. He put out his arm for me, which I took and we made our way up to the door.

  It was all so familiar, like all the times Dale had taken me to Sean’s little parties. Except, this time, Vincent was there. Vincent and I were engaged. How do a vampire and a mortal wed? Would we go into a church? Vincent mentioned going into many cathedrals, even reflecting while staring upon statues. Did he pray? I don’t think I ever intended on asking him such questions.

  We entered the dining room, the light bouncing off my gown, Vincent paired beside me in his violet attire. I searched the room, seeing Peter making his way over to us in a similar suit to Vincent’s, only it was blue.

  “Peter,” I smiled. “I forgot to write you a note congratulating you and Deirdre. I told her to give you my love when we had tea.”

  He smiled, though he did seem a bit upset. “Yes, she informed me, thank you. Her mother is also pleased, my parents are pleased. To be honest though, I am uncertain about Sean’s intentions with this party. Deirdre was hoping you would host one for her, Annalee.”

  I frowned. “Oh.”

  Vincent chimed in. “Well, I am sure all four of us could have supper at either my manor or Annalee’s, celebrate properly. I am also wary of Mister Pertrew’s intentions.”

  Peter nodded, being the only one who seemed to take a shine to Vincent. Deirdre thought the same as Bess. Vincent was handsome, dashing, a little quiet, a little awkward, but we were in love. So, she approved.

  In the end, I hoped Peter speaking highly of him would convince my father there was no harm intended…it was only hope though. I knew it would probably take a lot to convince my father that Vincent was not what he thought.

  I nodded to Peter, smiling reassuringly. “Why don’t I help Deirdre plan one at her own home? I will play hostess, but we will have more room for a proper party surrounded by friends.”

  Peter smiled and sighed relieved. “Ah, Annalee, you always know what to say.”

  I smiled, looking to Vincent. “I get that a lot.”

  Sean walked up behind us, his voice annoyingly bursting in on our conversation. “Ah, hello Mister Moor, Miss Harding. Welcome! I was not sure you were going to attend. I am sure Peter and Deirdre are quite pleased.”

  Vincent stepped closer to me, his eyes narrowing on him, watching Sean carefully. I felt a tad awkward, especially since Peter’s mood had dropped also.

  I cleared my throat. “Where is Deirdre? I should really find her, give her my love.”

  Peter nodded. “She is expecting you. I believe she is around here somewhere.”

  I turned to Vincent, kissing him. “I will be right back.”

  He nodded to me, watching as I walked off.

  I looked around the room, trying to spot Deirdre’s lovely curls among all the evening finery. I stopped, colliding into—of all people—Dale.

  I gasped a little, sighing. “Oh, Dale, you made it.”

  He nodded. “I did. You are well this evening?”

  I nodded. “Yes, thank you. I am just looking for Deirdre.”

  “You are here with Mister Moor?” he asked, looking down to his champagne in his hands.

  I nodded again. “I am. The invitation was for us both.”

  “Ah, yes, I remember you saying that.”

  I pursed my lips before I spoke up again. “Dale…it was so good seeing you this morning. I do wish we could see each other more often. As friends?”

  He shook his head. “I am afraid that is not possible, Annalee. I wish I could give you friendship. But, you know of my feelings…I cannot. I…I am sorry.”

  Before I could even say anything, he nodded to me, turning away, his back disappeari
ng into the crowd. I felt terrible…like usual. Dale made me feel like I was the villain, some sort of monster.

  I turned, looking around for Deirdre once again. The bodies of the other guests bumped into me as I tried to look around, make my way through the crowd. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the crowd overwhelming me. I saw a little door off to the side, running over to it and ducking inside, finding myself in a little office.

  It was quiet, small, very lavish, perhaps a bit overdone. I didn’t really care as long as it was away from the crowd, giving me a moment of peace.

  There were maps on the walls as well as landscape paintings, a large wooden desk in front of the far wall with papers scattered on it and various little things around the room, like a small table with a vase, little chairs, and towering candlesticks. It reeked of Sean and his family’s image they so desperately tried to uphold.

  I faced the desk, my back to the door as I took a deep breath. I needed to get back out there, needed to find Deirdre. I turned, Sean standing before me.

  “Hello. Lost are we?” He closed the door behind him.

  I looked to it as it clicked shut, panic flashing over me. He was standing between me and the door, caging me in.

  “Vincent will be looking for me. I would leave if I were you.”

  “I wanted to thank you for attending my party…well Deirdre and Peter’s party. It was almost last minute when I got your response,” he said as he began to walk towards me slowly, casually.

  I backed up into the desk behind me. “We…we were unsure, we did not know what our plans were for the evening. You know I always give a prompt response…when I respond.”

  He kept his eyes to my feet, almost seeming sincere. “I want to apologize again, Anna, for my behavior.”

  I quickly responded. “Again, I ask you address me properly—”

  “My lady,” he said as he walked directly up to me.

  “Yes. Now,” I put my hand out to him, “if you would kindly step off. You know I have a gentleman now. I am sure it has swept town about the seriousness of Vincent and my relationship.” I swallowed hard as I tried to keep myself composed. I was frightened. I didn’t know if Vincent would find me or if indeed the door was locked or not. Could he get to me?