Connections

by R. H. Vesely

  "Didn't mean to startle you love, just happy to see you," laughed Kelley, as she planted another kiss on his cheek.

  "Did you see Mattie and Randy?" asked Bill, trying to come back to the present.

  "Oh sure, an unbelievable pair of real lovebirds, really sweet," she laughed.

  "So what have you been up to?" said Bill, still fighting the haze in his brain and getting a bit frustrated at his inability to snap to.

  "Nothing really, like I told you the last time we talked. Just taking classes, reading some books, you know. Oh, but I did join the Y and have started to swim a lot. Trying to shake the winter doldrums and get ready for spring," smiled Kelley.

  Bill was confused. He really had no specific memory of them talking, just some vague sense of it. This is not good he thought.

  Chapter 25

  Allie Ames and Toni Frantz (ne Smith) had grown up in the peaceful suburbs of the city. They had met in second grade and been best friends ever since. Both had started school early and so part of their pairing was based on their being the youngest in their class. Their personalities also seemed to complement each other perfectly. Toni was a brilliant ball of energy, who even at six years old had a forceful sense of moral indignation when she saw anyone treated unkindly or unfairly. Allie was also brilliant but more reserved but shared the same deep sense of empathy for her fellow human beings, though not in the often vocal manner of Toni. Allie could still remember their first day in second grade when Toni had stood up and directly informed their new teacher that her belittling of poor, confused Timmy Johnson was not a necessary or kind thing to do. Allie had thought the same thing but doubted if she ever would have had the moxie to say so, especially on the first day of school. But what locked them in for life as friends was what happened to Allie the next year.

  Allie's dad was a well respected pediatrician and her mom was an equally well respected surgeon. They had waited till late in life to have children and when, after several miscarriages, Allie arrived, they were ecstatic. Even though her dad was much older than most parents, he had spent every minute he could with Allie, severely cutting back his work so he could spend time raising her. He became Allie's primary care giver and clearly loved every moment of it. They were literally inseparable from the time she was born until she started school. He even took her to mommies day out events at local churches so she would have other children to play with. She could still remember how the other mothers had been taken aback by and were uncomfortable with the presence of a man but how the other kids loved him because he was so silly.

  It happened on a beautiful early spring Sunday morning. Her mom was inside reading some medical journals and she and her dad had decided they had to get outside and enjoy the spring smells and see if the daffodils and crocuses they had planted in the fall were coming up. After checking the plants, Allie had excitedly asked her dad if they could play the new game of lawn darts a friend had given her for her birthday. As usual her dad said sure but we have to be careful where we throw them or your mom will kill us. The darts were a bit heavy for Allie's little muscles but she loved the feel of tossing them. Her first shots landed well short of the target. Her dad just complemented her on her form. On the next turn, Allie decided to put some oomph into it and took a running start and proceeded to send the heavily weighted dart through the bushes by the house and smacking into the siding. She looked at her dad standing next to her and then they both laughed. On her next throw, she took another running start and let the dart fly but it disappeared, she and her dad couldn't see where. The dart had gone straight up in the air and as her dad looked up, it came down and implanted itself in his head. Allie just stood there in shock, staring at her dad lying there with the lawn dart buried in his head. She was frozen, for how long she could not remember, and then, she just started screaming. They said he must have died almost instantly.

  Allie was devastated. She refused to leave her room and sat at her little desk crying. The only thing that relieved her grief was when she made drawings of the photos she had of her and her dad. The grief counselors and psychologists were an annoyance to her and she pleaded with her mom to keep them away.

  When Toni found out what had happened to her friend, she informed her parents that she was going to go live with Allie for a while, to help her, and could they please arrange it with Allie's mother. To anyone but Toni's parents, it would have seemed an odd request but to them it was just Toni knowing the right thing to do. It was arranged initially as an overnight but Toni still brought a large suitcase full of clothes, games and books. Toni stayed at Allie's house for the next three months. Her parents would come to visit often.

  It was during these three months that Toni convinced Allie to not just copy the photos of her dad but to make drawings of places they had been to and things they had done together and to put in them all the happiness and sadness she felt. To this day, Allie would say that Toni had saved her life or at least her sanity in those three months. From that point until Allie left the city to attend medical school, they were inseparable.

  Allie's date to the gallery opening was her third or fourth with Michael in a rather short period of time she thought, she couldn't exactly remember. She liked him and enjoyed his company and felt it was nice to have someone to go out with occasionally. Her work kept her so busy that it was not that often she could get out, so their three or four recent dates had occurred over a span of several months. It was not that she felt she had to have a man to go out, just that it was fun every now and then.

  Michael's feelings were not so casual. He had been pursuing Allie for some time and called her regularly hoping that their casual dating would become something more. He was hopeful since they had gone out more in the last three months than in the prior six. Michael was a very successful local attorney and he saw in Allie a bright, professional woman who was good looking and would be a great match for him.

  "Hey Michael, sorry I wanted to say hi to Toni before she got too caught up in doing the stuff she has to do to promote the show," said Allie.

  "Not a problem, I was just looking around at the stuff and I must say, not sure what the hell the guy is trying to prove. I mean what is it anyway. Looks just like some words on glass with some paint dumped on top," said Michael.

  "You have to look at the idea Michael. It's conceptual art, art about ideas. It's not meant to be representational and by the way, it's a she not a he," said Allie.

  "Well, give me something colorful and that I know what it is. This is just nothing to me," said Michael.

  "Well to each his or her own, personally, I really like it," said Allie.

  "You have got to be kidding," laughed Michael.

  "Ok, lets drop it. I want to look around some more and try to talk to the artist. Toni tells me she is a very interesting person," said Allie.

  "Well in that case, I think I'll sit over there with those folks. Just come and get me when you're ready to leave," said Michael, as he headed for the couch area.

  "Mind if I join you folks, I'm Michael," he said, as he sat down across from Bill and Kelley.

  "No, pull up a chair and relax Mike," said Bill.

  "That's Michael not Mike, prefer Michael," said Michael.

  "Oh, sorry, well in that case I am William and this is Kelliana," laughed Bill. "No just goofing, I'm Bill and this is Kelley," said Bill.

  "So what do you do Bill," said Michael.

  "Not much at the moment, just finished my second year of law school," said Bill.

  "Oh really, I'm a lawyer here in town, a partner in Smith and Jennings," said Michael, in an attempt to put this student who had been "goofing" on his name in his place.

  "I didn't go locally to school however, went to Harvard, but that was a long time ago," said Michael with a slight laugh, continuing his attack.

  Jesus thought Bill what a friggin jerk, I was just kidding about the name thing, guys got no sense of humor. Well I may be tired but this cannot stand. "Oh Harvard, wow, I got in there but when I s
at in on some of their classes the students acted so immature, I didn't think I would like the place. But you know that was recently. It was probably different when you went there," said Bill in a serious tone.

  "Hi, Michael, I'm Kelley, we're just taking a break from the art. Bill's a little tired, recovering from a concussion," said Kelley, in an effort to diffuse the male dick battle.

  "Nice to meet you Kelley. What's your story," said Michael, in an attempt to be hip.

  "Ah, don't really have a story, just going to school, graduating soon in Sociology," said Kelley with a smile.

  "Have any plans for graduate school? Hopefully not law, Bill and I couldn't take the competition from someone as cute as you," laughed Michael, as he ogled Kelley.

  "Definitely not thinking law, maybe nursing school," said Kelley.

  Hmm, nursing school, boy I wouldn't mind having her take care of me. She is sexyyyy, thought Michael. "Well, definitely could use more nurses and fewer lawyers," laughed Michael.

  "Amen," said Bill.

  "Michael, I'm ready to go if you are. Oh hi Bill, gee you don't look so good," said Allie.

  "Yeah, kind of hit me quick, felt tired and a little dizzy," said Bill.

  "Hmm, let me see," said Allie, as she sat down next to him and began to check his eyes, forcing Kelley to stand up by Michael. "You know, call my office tomorrow to set up an appointment. I will tell them to fit you in, ok," said Allie.

  While this was going on, Michael had told Kelley that if she ever needed a lawyer to call him and gave her his card.

  "Ok, Michael, now we can go and Bill please promise me you will set up the appointment,ok," she said, as she and Michael rose to leave.

  "Sure, promise, first thing tomorrow," said Bill.

  Ia -Are you trying to drive me crazy. Just when I think I'm starting to get a handle on where you are going you throw in a bunch of new ones. Now we've got Toni, Tom, Allie, Bill, Kelley, Randy, Mattie and Jesus please tell me we are not going to have to intensely watch Michael not Mike. Is crazy Pat hiding in some corner of the Gallery?

  In - Relax, you'd think you had never been through this before. You know you have to watch a lot of pairs if you're going to find one you want to jump in to. They're not all going to get pregnant soon.

  Ia - I know but in the past I didn't have to follow so many emotionally intense pairs. It's a whole lot easier and less confusing when all you're after is basically a chance at the good life. Lot less crowded I grant you but a lot easier to watch where you just have to be ready to jump quickly when it attaches. You don't have to get all caught up in this angst of do they or do they not feel this drive for a deep connection. Its exhausting.

  In - Yeah, but wouldn't you say a lot more interesting.

  Ia - You know, I am not so sure. The others are fun to watch too. I mean they have their problems and heartbreaks and ill advised pregnancies. The whole gamut of human stuff. The only thing I see different is this apparent personal unknown feeling and drive for some deep connection. Otherwise its pretty much the same just more work with the need to focus and look for this mystical thing.

  In - You know, I guess you are right. That is the real difference but if I am right it's a pretty big difference.

  Ia - Yeah, if you're right.

  Chapter 26

  "Sorry I'm late babe, so what do you think, kind of nice, huh?" said Mattie.

  "Yeah, I like it. You were right, sort of a little bit nicer version of ED's. But gee don't you kind of feel like you are cheating on ED," said Kelley.

  "Yeah, a little, but I don't come here that often. Just thought you might like to see the place Randy and I met. We sat at that table over there and if you look real closely, you can see the outline of the door the guy came through," said Mattie.

  "Yes, I see, very cool, the place where cupid drew back his bow and scored a direct hit, if I'm not mistaken," laughed Kelley.

  "Bullseye," laughed Mattie, as she grabbed another handful of goldfish.

  "What's the bartenders name?" asked Kelley.

  "Brian, he's very funny and a nice guy," answered Mattie.

  "Hey Brian, could we get some more of your complementary gold fish and a couple more beers?" said Kelley.

  "Here you go, two beers and a sumptuous bowl of our gourmet goldfish. Caught them fresh this morning at Costco," said Brian. Brian was a tall good looking young guy, sporting a pair of very hip, black plastic framed glasses and a winning smile.

  "Oooh, he is hot and not only a great smile but a great ass," said Kelley, as Brian turned and walked back to the cash register.

  "Yeah, see you have to admit that he's got a much nicer ass than Ed, plus he gives out free goldfish. The only thing free at ED's is advice," laughed Mattie.

  "So babe, its been roughly a month now for you and Randy. How goes it," said Kelley.

  "I actually can't imagine it being better," smiled Mattie.

  "Really, so I guess you owe me and Bill a big one for that," said Kelley laughingly.

  "You're joking but boy do I. You know we are talking about him moving in with me, if you can believe it," said Mattie.

  "Damn girl, don't you think that's a little fast. I mean, I know you are one of the tempestuous heart, but even for you, that's quick," said Kelley.

  "I know, I know, but I'm telling you I've never felt anything that felt so right. We just seem to fit. It is effortless to be with him," said Mattie.

  Kelley just sat there drinking her beer, staring at Brian and thinking, god Pat had an ass just like that, and remembering how her phone call to Pat had turned out anything but the ecstasy that had ultimately flowed from Mattie's. Ah well, there was always Bill. He was very hot and god they had great sex and laughs those days of the blizzard. It was kind of weird she thought that they had not gotten together since then. They had some ok talks after the concussion, but he didn't seem real excited to see her at the gallery.

  "Say, how did it go with Bill at the Gallery opening?" asked Mattie.

  "Oh, ok I guess. Thanks for calling and letting me know he was there," said Kelley, realizing she had never thanked Mattie for the call.

  "Yeah, he seemed kind of out of it, didn't he. That concussion really seemed to mess him up," said Mattie.

  "Hey there," said a voice, as Kelley felt a tap on her shoulder.

  "Oh Hi," said Kelley, as she turned to see lawyer Michael standing behind her.

  "Can I get you girls a beer?" said Michael.

  "Well were kind of into a personal talk, but if you want to buy us a beer and leave it at that, fine," said Kelley with a smile.

  "Ah, yeah sure, and I'll maybe check in later and see if you've finished," said Michael, as he ordered a beer for them and walked away.

  "Who the hell is that can of oil?" said Mattie.

  "Oh just a guy I met at the Gallery, names Michael. He was Bill's doctor's date. God, try to repeat that real fast, Bill's doctor's date, Bill's doctor's date, Bill's doctor's date," laughed Kelley, starting to feel the four beers she had already drunk before Mattie arrived. "You know actually not that hard, anyway. Yeah, he was kind of leering at me there, but you know me, won't pass up a free drink," said Kelley.

  "Are you feeling ok Kelley? You seem sort of upset or anxious or something," said Mattie.

  "Well babe, things have not actually been the greatest lately for me you know. Haven't been blissfully dancing down loves garden path of roses and bluebells like you, you know," said Kelley sarcastically.

  Mattie sat stunned. She had seen this side of Kelly with others, but never seen it directed at her.

  "Oh, god Mattie sorry. I didn't mean anything, just feeling a little fucked up. I'm really happy for you, really," said Kelley.

  "So what is it?" asked Mattie.

  "What isn't it. I get blown off by Pat, I break off with Doug, who had some not so nice things to say to me, and I fall for Bill, who seems to have viewed me as a nice fuck and goodbye person, and so here I sit with an older slimy lawyer buying me drinks and hoping he'll get
lucky. Not exactly where I was hoping to be."

  Mattie was once again stunned into silence. This was worse than she thought. She had seen Kelley go into these negative spirals before, where she couldn't stop feeling bad about herself. "Look Kelley, I know all that sucks, but break it down. Pat and Doug were two guys who loved you desperately and both at some point would have done anything to be with you, but for you, you felt the time wasn't right. I think you were right on both counts. Pat you weren't ready and Doug you didn't love. But hell, most women would die to have men love them the way they loved you. The point being, you are not going to have any problem with men being in love with you. What you have to figure out is what you want, I mean really want, so that when it comes your way like it has for me, you can grab it," said Mattie.

  "Yeah, and what about Bill, huh. If I'm so irresistible where is that guy," said Kelley.

  "Kelley, I really have no idea what is up with Bill. The only time I saw him was that night at the gallery and he was not feeling well," said Mattie.

  "Yes, but I bet he is better now and he hasn't called me once. Even after I called him all those times after that night we slept together," said Kelley.

  "Look you can focus on the bad or you can focus on the good and you've got a lot of good to focus on. So why do this to yourself," said Mattie.

  "I don't know, I don't seem to be able to stop. Maybe I am bat shit crazy like my mother," laughed Kelley.

  "Hey look, I'm sorry, but I'm supposed to meet Randy at Ed's and I 'm already late. You told me it was going to be a quick drink because you had to go somewhere," said Mattie.

  "Yeah, I was supposed to go see a movie with my sister, but I already missed that," said Kelley.

  "Why don't you come over to Ed's and hang out with Randy and me? It'll be fun. We haven't been to Ed's in a while, come on," said Mattie.

  "Nah, seeing you two would just nauseate me. I think I'll stay here for a while and then head home," said Kelley.