The Heart Beneath

by McKenna, Lindsay

  “Take your time,” Wes said, removing his cap and placing it on the maple dresser opposite the bed. His heart took off in joy as Callie reappeared. She’d brushed her unruly, damp hair, he noted. And she was nervous, judging by the way she fumbled with the sash of the terry-cloth robe she wore.

  “You look a lot better,” he observed. “What time did you get up?”

  Callie pulled the blankets up and smoothed out the spread on the bed. “About thirty minutes ago. I guess I slept the sleep of the dead,” she murmured. Picking up the tray, she placed it on her lap as she sat down on the edge of the bed, her bare feet on the shining wooden floor. “Join me?” she asked, looking up at where he stood.

  Something was different. Callie sensed it as well as felt it. There was a new tenderness in his eyes as Wes gave her a slight smile and settled down at the end of the bed, leaving a good two feet of space between them.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked as he watched her pick up the soup spoon and dip it into the rich broth, which had carrots, onions, celery and big chunks of white chicken in it.

  “Much better,” she answered between sips of soup. “Mmm, this is great, Wes. Thanks! Talk about angels…you’ve been a guardian angel to me the last couple of days.”

  “Glad I could do it.”

  “Are you on lunch hour from Logistics?” Callie guessed as she eagerly consumed the soup.

  “Yeah, you might say that.” He smiled thinly. “I took a late lunch, actually. I had the person on watch down below at the desk come up and knock on your door an hour ago to find out if you were up and around. She called me when she said she heard the shower going on.”

  Giving him a slight smile, Callie broke up some soda crackers and sprinkled them into the soup. “So that you could feed me?”

  Wes rested his elbows on his long, hard thighs, his clasped hands draped between them. “Actually, I went down early this morning and found Gunny Prater. I told him I had this angel with eyes the color of a turquoise sky, with sunlight streaking her hair. And she was sick. Could he whip up a personal batch of his best chicken soup for her?” Wes grinned and held Callie’s surprised look. “Gunny took pity on me. He said if I’d found a woman that good-looking, he’d make chicken soup for her. I think he was envious.”

  Coloring, Callie shook her head. “I like the way you see me.”

  “Isn’t that how you see yourself?” He saw pain flash in her eyes, then disappear. Callie turned back to the soup, eating with obvious enjoyment, yet delicately. Wes would never tire of watching her graceful movements.

  Quirking her mouth, Callie took another sip of the delicious soup. “No. I’m just a skinny kid from Swedish stock who was born on a corn and soybean farm in Minnesota. There, the girls are tough and strong. They have to be. I didn’t grow up learning much about curling irons, makeup or what boys might like to see me wearing.”

  “Well,” Wes teased lightly, “you’re my angel of the morning. That’s what I’ve decided to call you.”

  Callie set down her spoon. A third of the soup was left, but she felt sated. “That’s so beautiful,” she said, her voice wispy.

  “I can hardly wait until you see yourself like that,” he murmured seriously. He saw Callie flush and then get up and put the tray on the dresser next to his cammo cap. Moving back to the bed, she sat down and faced him, her legs crossed in front of her. She patiently rearranged the white robe over her legs so that she was properly covered.

  “It’s time to be honest,” Callie said, her heart beating hard. She felt anxious and unsure as Wes held her stare. Opening her small hands, which had numerous cuts in various stages of healing, she whispered, “This is so hard to say, Wes. I’m really embarrassed. I thought you were sleeping with me last night, but I’m not sure.” She gave him a strained look of apology. “I could have dreamed it. I woke up once…at least I thought I did…and I felt you curved along my backside, your arm around me. I ran my hand down your arm…felt your warmth….” Gulping, she searched his hooded eyes. “Was it a dream?”

  The silence strung tautly between them. Wes saw the uncertainty in Callie’s eyes and heard it in her soft voice. “Didn’t you tell me that your wish was to be held?”

  Gulping, she choked out, “Y-yes….”

  “I got off duty around midnight last night, Callie. To tell you the truth, with what I saw and heard over in Logistics, my stomach was in knots. The deaths…they’re estimating a million people who have no homes, no water…and food is growing short. After hearing all that…well, I needed you last night. I just needed something good in the midst of all this mounting horror staring us in the face. Something safe. I wanted you. I came to your room. You were sound asleep.” He smiled slightly. “I don’t think a tank rumbling through your room would have awakened you. Anyway, I took a shower and climbed into a clean T-shirt and boxer shorts. I crawled into bed, on top of the covers, and fitted myself against you.” Giving her a warm look, Wes murmured, “You never woke once. When I slid an arm beneath your head and wrapped my other arm around your middle, you snuggled right into my arms.”

  “Then—I didn’t dream it. It was real….”

  Nodding, he held her wide blue eyes, which shone with desire for him. Callie seemed innocent and without worldly charm, yet that was exactly why Wes was drawn to her—she didn’t put on airs or play games. No, Callie was the salt of the earth—pragmatic, practical and bone-wrenchingly honest with him.

  “In one way,” Wes teased gently, “it was a dream—a dream come true for me, Callie. I really needed to be with someone that I lo—er, liked last night. Emotionally, I was totaled by what’s going on and what will happen. I’m in the middle of the planning board in Logistics and I’ve got to tell you, we’re in a situation that’s going to get a helluva lot worse before it gets better.” Reaching out, he slid his fingers over her clasped hands, which rested in the lap of her robe. Shyly, Callie curled her fingers around his. Heart soaring with joy, he added, “You felt so good to me last night. Just getting to hold you while you slept…your breathing so light and easy, the smell of your skin…it was heaven to me, and you were an angel in my arms. My angel…”

  She moved her fingers wonderingly across the thick, large knuckles of his left hand. “I like being your angel.” Lifting her head, she gazed at him. There was such naked vulnerability in Wes right now. “You could have taken advantage of me….”

  Shrugging, he said, “And who would that have served, Callie? That would have been pretty selfish of me, wouldn’t it? You said you wanted me to hold you, not make love to you. There’s a difference, and I respect that difference.” Managing a wry, one-cornered smile, Wes admitted, “To be brutally honest about it, I wanted to love you, but I knew it wasn’t consensual. Loving a person is special. It’s a two-way street. It has to be mutual.”

  “Always,” Callie whispered as she felt his fingers close gently around hers. “You’re the first man I’ve met that didn’t try to go all the way.”

  “Maybe all you knew were boys, not men.”

  Nodding, Callie admitted in a painful whisper, “I don’t pretend to be worldly, Wes. In fact, I’m pretty limited in my experiences with guys in general. After being burned twice—used—I said enough was enough.”

  “I understand.” And he did.

  Wryly, she laughed and said, “What you see is what you get. No frills. No pretty packaging.”

  His smile faded, and he lifted her hand and placed a warm, gentle kiss on the back. Then, watching her eyes soften, he released it.

  Her hand tingled pleasantly where Wes had kissed it. “It’s nice to know I’ve got company going through the emotional mill,” Callie murmured. Gazing at him, she added, “I just never would have believed a man like you existed. Maybe that’s why I thought I was dreaming you were here, holding me last night—because I didn’t think any man could do just that.”

  “I want your trust, Callie. You have mine, but I know you’re skittish because of your past experiences. I guess I want
to prove to you that I’m good at my word.” His eyes danced with self-deprecating humor. “Not that I didn’t want to love you, to please you, to be with you in every way. I did. But the price would have been too high for me to pay. And whatever trust we have between us now, would have been shattered.” Shaking his head, Wes muttered, “I know men think a lot about sex, and we definitely see things in sexual terms, but there’s got to be balance to it, too. I learned the hard way that a good relationship is about two people’s needs, wants and desires.”

  “I’m so hungry to know everything about you, Wes….”

  “Same here.” He looked at his watch. “I’ve got another half hour before I’ve got to go. Tell me about your college years. What did you major in?”

  Giving him a laughing look, Callie said, “I majored in business. I was in the cadet corps and I found I liked the military. Because I wanted a career that would bring me a good paycheck to help my folks, with little chance of layoffs, I chose the marines. When I went through officers candidate school, I took a lot of tests to determine my career slot. At the time, the commandant of the Marine Corps was putting together an idea of having a rescue dog unit at each division. With my farm background, plus my degree in business, I got pulled for the project.”

  “So, you created the template for the rescue units?” Wes was impressed. He saw Callie blush at his whispered words.

  “It wasn’t that hard, really. Pretty simple and straightforward.”

  “Only because you think that way. That’s why it’s easy for you.”

  “Common sense, really. Farm people have a lot of that or they’d be in big trouble fast.” She laughed softly.

  “Common sense isn’t so common,” Wes growled. “So, you’ve helped build this concept into reality. That’s really impressive.”

  “I like helping people, Wes. And I love animals.” She opened her hands and shrugged. “On the farm, we relied on each other. Farmers in the region would always help each other out. It was a community that worked and lived together. That’s how I see the Marine Corps—a big family of sorts, where we all help one another. It gives me a good feeling to know one of the dogs that I trained could help to save a life somewhere in the world.”

  “You really are an angel,” he murmured.

  “Oh, not really!” Callie laughed, embarrassed. “Sometimes I cuss when I get upset. Or I get mad. I’m not all sweetness and light, Wes, believe me.”

  “You’re an earthy angel,” he chuckled, “and I wouldn’t want you any other way than how you are.”

  “What about you?” Callie asked. “Are you a career man?”

  “Yeah, I want to put in my twenty. I figured I’d get a lot of experience in the corps, and then, around age forty, retire and start up my own construction business.”

  “You want the feel of earth in your hands,” she murmured. Seeing the glint in his green eyes sharpen, Callie felt her heart squeeze with a delicious rush of desire.

  “I like building and shaping things. Maybe I’ve got more of my father in me than I thought.”

  Callie heard the sadness in his tone. She intuitively felt that Wes still had a lot to work out with his dad. “Time seems to heal rifts between parents and children, from what I’ve seen,” she told him gently.

  His mouth worked, as if he were dealing with emotions he was withholding from her. “I hope you’re right,” he finally answered in a strained tone, and then tried to smile.

  “He’s got to be proud of you now, Wes. I know your knowledge and experience is going to help Logistics solve a lot of problems for folks out there beyond the military reservation. I’m proud of you….”

  Getting up, he moved closer until her knees rested against his thigh. Taking her hands in his, he said in a low tone, “Callie, I want you to always be proud of me. I like what we have. I never expected to meet you…or to feel the way I have been since I first saw your face. It’s a miracle, in all this death and destruction that’s around us right now.” Wes smoothed his thumbs across her small hands. There were so many scars across her tanned skin. Her skin was rough and Wes knew why: Callie thrived out in the elements—the sun, the wind, the rain, the heat and cold. She was a woman of the earth.

  With a sigh, Callie leaned forward and rested her brow against his broad shoulder. A shoulder that could bear a lot of responsibility and weight. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Wes, I have to admit I was scared before. You’re so handsome, and I didn’t see how someone as good-looking and obviously successful as you could be interested in someone like me. But now—” she lifted her chin, her voice tender “—the past two days, things have shifted in me. Maybe it’s the trauma around us. Maybe I’m growing and maturing, or maybe it’s just the magic of you. We need to talk about our desire. I know you said you wanted to explore a relationship with me.” Looking away for a moment, Callie gathered her courage. “But after getting to know you, I can’t pretend to be able to keep it light and strictly on the level of desire with you, Wes. My heart is involved in this. And I know your heart is off-limits.” Holding his darkening stare, she saw his mouth go taut.

  Sighing, Wes eased his hands upward, cupping them around Callie’s face. “Let’s keep talking, Angel. It’s our lifeline to one another. I’d given up on finding someone, Callie,” he added. “I wanted someone ‘safe’ this time. Allison wasn’t in a safe job and you aren’t, either. But I didn’t think there was a woman on the face of this earth to fit my dreams until you walked into my life.” He gazed deep into her widening blue eyes, which sparkled with gold highlights. “What we have is precious, Callie. I don’t want to waste it. I don’t want to hurry it. In one sense, we have the time. In another, I get scared just thinking of you going out there to do your work again. I’ll be back here, stuck at Camp Reed. I won’t know what’s going on with you, and I’ll worry….”

  Sliding her fingers over his hands, she closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again. “Does this mean you want to explore life with me on a deeper level? To let your heart get involved?” Inwardly, she held her breath as she anxiously searched his closed features.

  “Yes,” he murmured, “what I feel for you is more than desire. I’ve been fighting you, Callie. Part of me has, I mean. I tried to keep my heart out of this equation with you. I was scared. When you got knocked unconscious out there, something snapped deep inside me. I still can’t explain it, but I know I was forced to look at how I was trying to keep you at arm’s length. It made me realize how stupid I was being.”

  “Then…what we feel for one another is serious.”

  “From my end, it is. Are you game?” He stared into her glistening eyes. How badly he wanted to kiss her! Just the way her lips curved upward at his last words made his heart fly on wings of joy.

  “Oh, yes…I am.”

  “I’m going to worry myself sick over you being out there without me.”

  “I’ll be okay, Wes…I really will. I’m an old pro at this. What I’ll miss most of all is you. I know I’ll be out there for three or four days at a time before I get any R and R.” Callie drowned in his gaze. Wes was so close, so incredibly vulnerable and open to her. She absorbed the strength of his warm hands against her cheeks. “Kiss me?”

  He heard the quaver in her voice. “I never thought you’d ask,” he declared, leaning down and capturing her soft, parted lips.

  Callie moaned as his mouth closed commandingly over hers. He was at once strong and cajoling, asking her to participate in their newfound joy. The gates to her heart flew open and a heat, startling and pleasurable, flowed through her and down into her belly. An ache settled there, as hungry and consuming as the flames of her need for him. She was breathless beneath his tender assault.

  As he angled her head to drink more deeply of all she offered, her moist breath caressed her cheek. Arms sliding around his shoulders, Callie pressed her breasts against his chest. Though the thick robe was a barrier, she felt him stiffen as she told him in a nonverbal way what she wanted of him.
r />   Groaning, Wes tore his mouth from Callie’s. Her lips were softly pouted and wet from his onslaught. Her eyes were drowsy and dazed looking, desire sparkling in their cobalt depths. Her mouth…Wes groaned again. He had to resist. He had to get back to work! Time was their enemy now. Gripping her by the shoulders, he rasped, “Tonight…I’ll be done at 1800. Let’s plan to have dinner together?”

  Her body throbbed with a wildfire of need that consumed her ability to think. Clinging to him, Callie heard the growl in his tone, the promise of things to come. “Y-yes…but I want more than dinner, Wes. I want you…all night. Here. With me. It will be our last night and I don’t want to spend it alone…please?”

  Cupping her chin, he gazed into her eyes as tears beaded on her thick, sandy lashes. “That’s a promise, Angel. We’ll spend the night together, in each other’s arms. And I want to love you breathless. I want to please you…and make you as happy as you’ve already made me….”

  Chapter Twelve

  January 8: 2100

  Callie busied herself at the dog rescue unit after receiving a call from Wes at 1800. Logistics was deep into a planning session, and General Wilson had ordered him to remain on to help the team complete their initial strategy for helping civilians find water in their given grid areas. She was disappointed, but understood. Her love would wait, she thought as she walked Dusty around the edges of the manmade lake a quarter mile from their facility. She and Wes had the time.

  Still, as Dusty bounded among the tall brown cattails that hugged a curved inlet of the placid lake, Callie felt lonely. It was a new sensation to her. She no longer tried to fool herself or sidestep the truth of how she felt toward Wes. And he was willing to move beyond his fear, the pain of his past, to meet her halfway.

  From where she stood on the lakeshore, a gentle slope littered with rocks and desert vegetation, she could see Dusty eagerly sniffing and wagging his tail as he hunted in and out of the cattails. This was one of his favorite places. He loved looking for frogs, sending them leaping away into the water. Being the water dog he was, he really wasn’t interested in catching the frogs, he simply loved pouncing into the lake after them. It was a happy game for him, and she was glad she could give him some playtime like this.