Family Affair

by Saxon Bennett

  "I do. I'm parched. I think this heat is making Bud thirsty. Between the two of us I need to haul a couple of gallons of liquid around with me."

  "You could wear the Hydro Pack we use for hiking," Chase suggested.

  "I'm not wandering around with that on my back." She took a sip while continuing to peruse the order.

  Nora and Chase looked at each other.

  "This isn't Java Juice."

  "It isn't?" Chase said, doing her best to feign surprise.

  "You little sneak." Gitana took another sip.

  "Hey, hey, that's enough," Chase said, grabbing the cup.

  "You've been cheating behind my back," Gitana said, putting her hands on her hips.

  "A little coffee on the side—that's not so bad."

  "Maybe not, but there's this other thing," Gitana said, going to the office door and opening it. She whistled and the dogs came rushing in.

  Chase looked at Nora and read the panic in her face. "Oh, shit, I mean shoot," Chase said.

  "How long have they been coming to work?"

  The dogs leapt up on Chase's leg and kissed her. Then they went about exploring her and Nora's shared office space. The trash can was of special interest. Chase watched them closely and hoped they wouldn't do anything horrid.

  "Well?" Gitana said.

  "Since before Labor Day. I wanted them to be more socialized. Everyone loves them and they haven't destroyed one single orchid." Chase refrained from mentioning their other minor misdemeanors.

  "How can I trust you anymore?" Gitana said.

  "I did it for Bud."

  "Bud doesn't want Scooter Libby for a father."

  Nora laughed, caught herself and faked a cough.

  Chase glared at her. "No more minor indiscretions," she said.

  "Lies," Gitana said.

  "All right, lies. Can the girls stay?" Chase said, doing her best to look penitent.

  "No customer contact. I don't want a lawsuit. Work areas only. Okay?"

  "Gotcha."

  "I'll place the order," Gitana said, taking the form from Nora.

  "What, now you don't trust me?" Nora asked.

  "Does duplicitous sound familiar?"

  "Not really. Look, from now on I'll be your snitch," Nora declared.

  "That's better."

  "Thanks a lot," Chase said, going back to her receipts. At least this made her look busy. She put her trash can up on her desk as the dogs' interest in it had gone from curiosity to search and seizure.

  "You get what you give," Gitana said, going to her office door.

  "That sounds hostile," Chase said.

  Gitana smiled and went into her office.

  "Well, that went well considering," Chase said, giving the dogs a biscuit from the can she kept in her top drawer.

  "We were lucky," Nora said, going over next week's schedule and making minor changes—one of the cashiers had a dentist appointment.

  "I'll say. You could've been fired and I could have been thrown out of the house."

  Nora laughed.

  "Okay, out you go," Chase said to the dogs. "Mama's got work to do." They cruised out the door in search of perpetrators who could have infiltrated the perimeter while they were away from their post.

  Eliza came in. "Hi there," Chase said. She liked Eliza now. She had been very patient with Chase while she learned about orchids. Thanks to her Chase had grown quite knowledgeable.

  "Hello," Eliza said. She looked at Nora who smiled at her and then Eliza burst into tears.

  "What did you do to her?" Chase said, leaping up, getting Eliza a chair and a box of Kleenex.

  "I didn't do anything," Nora replied, gaping at Eliza.

  Eliza blew her nose. "It's not her. It's my life. I just can't take it anymore. I give up." She raised her hands overhead.

  Chase wasn't sure if this was a sign to God that like Job his test was ruthless or unlike Job, Eliza wasn't up to the task.

  "What's wrong?" Chase asked, hoping none of this had anything to do with her. She was fairly certain she hadn't stepped on Eliza's toes in her dealings with the staff. She was taking a positive attitude toward discipline and no one had been fired yet.

  "Oh, nothing," Eliza said tearfully.

  Chase had read in her Guide to Women's Health book that some menopausal women had crying jags. Eliza didn't look old enough to be menopausal—but sometimes it started early. Chase was learning everything about girl-parts. Gitana had threatened to take the book away several times. Chase was now hiding it in the bathroom cabinet.

  "It must be something," Nora prodded.

  "Well, I'm having a bad patch. I guess. I keeping hoping things will get better but then another bad thing happens." She grabbed another wad of Kleenex.

  Chase braced herself. "Like what kind of things?"

  "My dishwasher flooded the kitchen floor this morning. The faucet keeps leaking into the cabinet under the sink so the whole room stinks of mildew. I sat on a melted candy bar during lunch and totally ruined my pants—now I look like I have poop on my pants. My check engine light came on and my gyno says I have to have my uterus cauterized to stop my abnormal bleeding cycles."

  Chase winced at this last one. "Okay let's break it down. There's the plumbing issues, the car issues and the laundry issue. But first, turn around and let's see the pants."

  Eliza did so.

  "Yep, that looks like poop all right," Chase said.

  "That's helpful," Nora said.

  It seemed to Chase that Nora was intently staring at Eliza's ass in more than a professional manner. But she said, "I know— we've got coveralls for the cleaning crew. You could wear those."

  "Now, there's a fashion statement," Eliza said. "But it is better than poop-looking stuff on your butt." Her eyes met Nora's.

  Nora smiled.

  "Okay, next." Chase looked at her list—plumbing. She picked up her cell phone and scanned through her call record until she found Ricardo's number. They had used him to fix their plumbing issues. "One of Gitana's cousins is a plumber." She dialed the number. "Ricardo, it's Chase. I need a big favor. I have a friend with a bad plumbing problem."

  Chase listened and pursed her lips. "Yes, okay I'll edit your science fiction story if you fix her sink and do not say or do anything perverted. Understand? And just a heads-up, her girlfriend is six feet tall and built like a truck so I highly recommend you behave yourself." She gave him the address and clicked off.

  "Do I really want this guy at my house?" Eliza asked, sitting on the corner of Nora's desk and looking more relaxed.

  "He's all talk. Besides he's a midget and a coward. Your well-built girlfriend is a deterrent."

  "I don't have a girlfriend," Eliza said.

  "Yeah, right." Chase drew a heart on a piece of scratch paper with Eliza's and Nora's names in the center. She held it up to show them.

  Nora tried to grab it, but Chase held it away from her.

  "Look, I've been watching you two. It's so obvious. Just get it over with."

  Nora blushed and then seemed to summon up all her inner butchness. "Eliza, will you go out with me?"

  An endless silence.

  "I'd love to."

  "How about dinner?" Nora said shyly.

  "Wonderful."

  "Now, to continue the problem solving, the check engine light, we can utilize the mobile auto service that keeps up our trucks. They're scheduled up here tomorrow to do oil changes anyway." She consulted her list again. It was the uterus cauterization. "Well, that last one might prove difficult."

  "It's all right, Chase. I think you've done enough," Eliza said.

  "Whew," Chase said, taking the list and wadding it up.

  "I've got to see about the seedlings," Eliza said, making for the door. She turned around. "I'll see you later, Nora."

  Nora did this wave thing and Chase thought that love was fucking weird. It could turn the biggest butch into a sappy ball of emotional mush.

  Chase rolled over in her chair to the door to mak
e sure Eliza was out of earshot. "So where are you going to take her?"

  Nora seemed dumbstruck. "I don't know. Do you have any ideas?" Nora appeared to have jumped into panic mode.

  "I'm not very good with romance."

  "But you're a romance writer," Nora said, her voice rising.

  "That's different. I don't know how exacdy but it is," Chase said, pondering the question and just as promptly dropping it. Creation had never made sense to her. It happened and she was thankful. One does not question the Muse.

  Gitana came in and sat on the corner of Chase's desk and casually reached for the Java Juice cup. Chase snatched it up.

  "Nora asked Eliza out on a date. We're trying to figure out a romantic place for dinner," Chase told her.

  "The Melting Pot," Gitana said.

  "It's fondue. You have to cook all your food in that stupid pot of oil. You could starve," Chase said, remembering the episode vividly. She'd come home and made two peanut butter sandwiches.

  "And while you wait you can talk," Gitana said.

  "How do you know when it's done?" Nora asked.

  "You will. The wait staff tells you everything you need to know. It's very educational," Gitana said.

  "Educational is good. Eliza likes to learn things," Nora said gratefully.

  "Don't forget to carbo load before you go," Chase advised.

  "Problem solved." Gitana reached over and hit the enter key on Chase's laptop.

  "What are you doing?" Chase said as the black screen came to life.

  "Seeing what you're working on."

  "It's a paper on orchids." She moved the laptop closer.

  Gitana moved over. "I don't think so." She read it aloud. "She took the wet pink folds in her mouth, waiting for the thrust of her lover's hips."

  "Will you stop," Chase said, covering her face.

  "Boy, is that hot. Can I read the rest?" Nora asked.

  "No." Chase snapped her laptop shut.

  "You're behind," Gitana said.

  "Just a little." Chase didn't meet her gaze.

  "You need to be finishing your book. I'm sure little Miss-Snotty-Editor has been calling."

  Chase scowled. Gitana despised Ariana who treated writers like minions of the monarchy. When Ariana called and Gitana answered the phone she would yell across the house, "Your snot nose editor is on the line." This pissed Ariana off to no end.

  "Why does she call me that?" she'd demand.

  "Because you're a bitch," Chase would respond, and Ariana would snort, "That's what it takes to get you on deadline."

  "All she wants is progress reports," Chase told Gitana.

  "Chase, go home and power-edit and get it over with it," Gitana said.

  "But I need to be here."

  "How about the morning shift? That's the most crucial time. Help Nora set up and edit in the afternoons."

  "Is that all right with you?" Chase asked Nora.

  "Nothing should stand in the way of completely sexy literature," Nora said.

  "Yeah, right."

  "Off you go then," Gitana said.

  "Do you want me to take the dogs?" Chase said.

  Gitana looked out the office window onto the greenhouse grounds. "No, they appear to be quite busy. When did they learn to become sled dogs?"

  Annie and Jane both had their harnesses attached to a small garden cart and hauled it around as Eliza and Heather, her assistant worked the pots.

  "The other day. It's hard on your back and they love it."

  "Only you," Gitana said. "Now, go."

  Chase packed up her laptop and wistfully looked around. "We'll be fine," Nora said.

  Chapter Twenty

  "I'm telling you it's almost done. It'll be perfect and yes, I did fix the ending. Now, go away. I know, next Tuesday—like I could forget." Chase threw her cell phone on the couch after she clicked off, and accidently nailed her writing mascot, Curious George, in the forehead.

  "Sorry about that George," she said, turning around to stare at her computer. "I need to write better so I have less work at the end. Remember Kurt Vonnegut—every page perfect before he moved on. Ugh! I could never do that. I wouldn't get anything done."

  "Who are to talking to?" Lacey asked. She stood in the doorway of the writing studio.

  "Curious George." Chase swung around in her chair and pointed at the stuffed monkey. She attempted to look peevish to convey that she was busy. Lacey did not take the hint but took a seat on the couch next to George.

  Seeing that Lacey was not going away Chase got up and poured them both an iced tea. "Now, what brings you up here on such a pleasant day?" she asked in an effort to accelerate the visit.

  "Thanks. I'm parched," Lacey said, taking the glass. "It is a nice day and when one sees the world shining bright and full of promise it makes your inner self brim with unblocked Chi." Lacey took a sip and leaned back on the couch.

  "Have you been going to Jasmine's meditation class?" Chase scooted George over and sat on the couch next to Lacey.

  "How'd you know?"

  "Because Jasmine always talks like that after her class. You're acting guilty. What's up?"

  "Philip doesn't want her to go to meditation. He says she gets all weird."

  "That guy is a total prick. Does she tell him that he can't go golfing because his testicles sweat and he might get ringworm?" Chase finished her iced tea. She needed about three more if she was going to get through the afternoon.

  "What's that?"

  "I don't really know. It's something guys get. Now, what do you want?"

  "Can I kiss you?" Lacey sipped her iced tea and stared unblinking at Chase. She acted like she'd asked for a ride to the airport or if Chase would feed her cat and water the plants while she went away for the weekend.

  "Excuse me?"

  "I need to kiss a woman and you're my best friend and I trust you more than anyone in the whole world—so I figured you should be the one. Can I have some more tea?"

  "Sure," Chase said. Lacey had the uncanny ability to drop big piles of doo-doo and then walk away with no concern for the consequences.

  Lacey was looking at her. "I don't know why you're making such a big deal about it." She poured the tea.

  "Oh, I don't know. I'm married with a kid on the way and you're straight—just to name a few."

  "Will you just do it?" Lacey said.

  "Not until you tell me why. Is this some diversity training class where everyone has to kiss a lesbian? It's not normal behavior except for lesbians." Chase's voice had become high and squeaky.

  "I want you to kiss me because I really like Jasmine, but I don't want to kiss her and discover that I don't like it. I wouldn't want to do that to her." Lacey sat down next to Chase and put her hands in her lap.

  "That almost sounds altruistic for you," Chase said. Lacey did look pensive.

  "Chase, please will you just do it?"

  "I've got to call Gitana first and get her feedback. She is part of the equation."

  "All right. I just hope she's open-minded about this. It really is more like a public service than anything else."

  Chase rolled her eyes and grabbed her cell phone from Curious George. She dialed.

  "What's up, babe?"

  That was the nice thing about cell phones—you no longer had to introduce yourself. Name tags did it for you. This always made Chase smile. Whenever Ariana, her editor called, it came up as a private number so Chase knew it was her. She'd answer, "Hi, Ariana," but Ariana would always say, "Hi, Chase, it's Ariana," and get all flustered. It shifted the balance of power. "Lacey wants to kiss me. I called to get your permission."

  She laughed. "Do you guys have something going on I need to know about?"

  "Lacey might be attracted to Jasmine who is trying to seduce her. Lacey doesn't want to be freaked out or hurt Jasmine's feelings if she doesn't like it. That's my best summation."

  "All right then, but save some for me and if Lacey converts we get a new toaster oven since ours committed an act of
self-immolation the other day."

  "I hate when they do that. I'll let you know how it goes," Chase said. She clicked off and gave the phone back to Curious George.