by Samie Sands
I’m watching specimen eighteen and I’m actually jealous of his lack of mental problems. Sure physically he’s a mess, but he hasn’t got any troubles weighing on his shoulders anymore. All of that brain function is no longer active. He’s got it far easier now. I’ve been trying to imagine what his life was like before, who he might have been, but I can’t turn the jealousy off long enough to care.
I’m done. I think it’s obvious that I’m done.
CHAPTER 40
ALYSSA
While I’m on a roll with my good ideas being met with positivity, I suggest to Randy that we get a car. That way we can drive around, trying to locate somewhere safe and suitable for the time being, to save wearing ourselves out unnecessarily. There’s no argument against that, surely?
Of course I was wrong. Pete, put out by my newfound respect, just has to disagree. “It’ll lead the infected to wherever we’re going. They’ll follow the noise.”
Not about to be stopped, I continue. “Okay then, how about someone takes a car, finds a good place, then we can walk to it after? I think I saw in a film once someone leaving the car with the music blaring and it took all of the zombies way off course!” I’m excited by this memory. I’m pleased by my ingenious scheme.
“Well, there might not be any need to go that far, but I think you have the basic idea right, Alyssa.” I almost want to stick my tongue out at Pete as Randy agrees with me, but I can’t allow myself to be so immature. I can still sense that I need to prove my worth. I wonder if the competitive edge will ever dispel between us.
Before I can speak again, Randy is making plans. “Me and Sarah will go and find a car to have a look around, you lot stay here. Alyssa, Emily, and Pete are in charge, boys, so you must do anything they tell you. Don’t forget how dangerous it is out here, okay?” Their pale, drawn faces suggest that they’re frightened enough without this being encouraged. “Please don’t move unless of course you have to. Maybe we should make the Plan B meeting place the shopping centre? I know it’s quite far from here but we all know where it is.” We all murmur in agreement, desperately hoping that it doesn’t come to that. I don’t want to have a mad dash that far, having such responsibility for the boys’ lives. The last time I was in charge of a child it didn’t end so well, although I doubt I’ll be disobeyed here. The boys are much better behaved than Lexi—they know what’s at stake.
We sit in an awkward silence after they go. The boys are too tense to talk and there’s a weird atmosphere between the rest of us and I have no idea why. Well, I guess I know where Pete’s animosity has come from. I’ve stripped him of all of his power by belittling his idea of constant movement. But why Emily is so mad, I don’t know.
“Maybe we should just talk about what’s bothering you, Pete. Sitting here angry isn’t great. Don’t you think we have enough to worry about?” I take the coward’s way out and attempt to tackle the easy problem first.
“I’m not angry, Alyssa. I’m just concerned, I suppose. I feel uneasy about stopping. Especially after what happened at the church.” He shuts his mouth before anything else can come spilling out. I know there’s so much more to his feelings, but the way his jaw is clamped shut I know he isn’t going to reveal it anytime soon. He’s obviously experienced a lot more than any of us know, but I can’t push him to open up. He has to do it in his own time, if at all. I guess for some people, reliving loss and awful memories isn’t at all helpful. It may remain a mystery to the rest of us, but everyone has to be able to make their own choices. It’s not up to me to force information out of anyone.
After a slight deliberation, I turn to Emily. Using a much softer tone, I start to question her. “Are you okay, Em? You don’t seem—”
Water fills her eyes as she turns to face me with a weak smile plastered across her face. She nods tightly, also refusing to open her mouth. Unsatisfied by either of their feeble answers, I turn to the children and try to coax chatter out of them—anything to disperse the awful quiet. I finally manage it by asking them which superhero they thought would be best in the zombie apocalypse. They start to argue over which super powers would be most useful and I sit back, pleased that we no longer have to endure silence.
The others don’t move or speak. They continue sitting in their tense positions, bursting with words they won’t allow to spill out. I can’t bear it so I continually wander around, keeping a look out for zombies. I can’t believe how lucky we’ve been, sitting still and not encountering any yet. It could mean something, couldn’t it? Maybe something has happened that we aren’t yet aware of.
* * *
Time seems to fly past and soon Randy and Sarah are rushing back to us, panting and head to toe in blood and grime. It looks like they’ve had a much worse time than us, completely dismissing my optimistic thoughts that someone has come back to kill off all of the infected. Before I allow my brain to consider why we got so lucky, Randy speaks.
“We’ve found somewhere.” My heart lifts as he continues, trying to catch his breath. This is fantastic news, this could solve everything. “It’s a risk, so we’ll need to approach it carefully. We looked for as long as we could but obviously the noise of the car brought a lot of infected with us. As you can probably tell, it was a struggle getting back here.” He gestures to the mess that covers him. “It’s an RAF base, so of course going there is incredibly illegal—I’m not too sure how much that matters at the moment—but it’s very well protected. There’s a massive electrical fence surrounding it. It probably won’t be on, but it’s something.” I stand up at this point, already sold on the idea and wanting to move immediately. “I imagine it’s got a lot of what we need already there, food in particular—”
“Let’s just go, it sounds perfect!” I interrupt. If it’s out of town it’ll probably take a while to get there, and we need to arrive before dark to avoid another night out in the open. No one else speaks, but to my utter pleasure, they all comply by getting up and starting to move. Things are finally coming together and working out.
* * *
We walk for hours. The entire trip has been silent. I think everyone is full of anticipation because we’re walking into the unknown. I’m not feeling that way at all, I’m just distracted and constantly on the lookout for E. I’m certain, with all this distance we’re covering, that we will eventually find some sort of clue as to E’s whereabouts. Of course the mystery person might not have survived this long, but my instincts tell me that isn’t the case.
This keeps me focused the entire journey, meaning I don’t allow myself to succumb to the fatigue that’s trying desperately to drag me down. If I didn’t have these thoughts circling around in my brain, I’m not entirely convinced if I would have made it in one piece! I have no idea how the boys are coping so damn well!
Finally, Randy announces that we’re almost there, and everyone lets out a collective sigh of relief. Even Pete seems pleased that we’ll have somewhere to stop soon.
Then, my gaze sets upon it, and I smile to myself. It’s absolutely perfect!
CHAPTER 41
DR. JONES
April 3rd
10:25 a.m.
Specimen fourteen is showing some interesting developments. No, actually I think that might be the wrong words. She is simply diminishing in the way that I suspected she would. Her motivation levels have waned to practically nothing. Occasionally, if I get too close to her enclosure and she gets a whiff of my uninfected scent, or if I accidentally make a lot of noise, she’ll get up and resume hammering against the glass, growling, moaning, and spitting with what can only be described as rage. This will last for a few hours before she appears to simply give up or forget what she was doing and slumps back to the floor, in the same comatose state as before.
Her body is falling apart. Literally. Chunks of rotten, blackened flesh have been falling off of her. A lot of her insides are now visible and none of them are sitting where they should be. It’s uncomfortable to look at. She’s slowing down more and more each moment
. I’m certain that she’s becoming a whole lot weaker. I’m very excited by this development; it’s the first step in a positive direction that I’ve come across in terms of AM13. However, it’s difficult to test this further at this stage because none of my previous research has looked into this area at all. I’ll just have to keep a close eye on Rachael and see how she continues to deteriorate. This is the closest thing I’ve had to an answer and I’m determined to follow through with it. Even if it is the ‘wrong’ answer, it’s something.
Something is better than nothing, right?
I have given specimen seventeen a sample of the cancer drugs that Jason was originally taking. She was the only subject that I could possibly try this on, even though she was deep into the first stage of infection. I need to keep the other two specimens as they are to confirm anything that I discover from specimen fourteen. If I had more specimens, I’d continue on with this path, but I don’t, and there is no guarantee I’ll receive anymore. In fact, from a non-scientific point of view, I’d much rather I didn’t. I’d like to minimise the suffering as much as I can.
I didn’t have high hopes for this medication slowing down the infection in seventeen, but I had to try. I suspect that it had as much to do with cancer as the drugs Jason was taking. Of course, this is another grey area. As far as I’m aware, Jason is the only specimen I’ve had who was suffering from cancer. All this has shown is that my assumption was correct. Joanna progressed onto stage two in record time. She is now in stage three. I could almost think that the medication sped the process up for her. Sorry, I’m trying to only write things down that I’m certain about, or at least that I think are correct in my personal opinion. I don’t want this entire record to be a mismatch of guesses, but without the correct equipment, knowledge, and variation of specimens, I have to simply do my best.
So now I’ll just continue to monitor Joanna’s progress as I’m doing with the others.
2:15 p.m.
Jason has finally reached the second stage of infection. He hasn’t said anything, but he doesn’t need to. I can just see the agony plastered across his face. As soon as he refused a game of chess, I just knew. Even his loss didn’t prevent him from wanting to play. This is pain, pure and simple. His skin is greying, his tongue is turning white. All the signs are there. It’s bad, really bad.
He’s still fully coherent and a lot more alert than any of the other specimens have been during this period, which makes it much more unbearable to watch. Jason’s body seems to have a much higher pain threshold, which isn’t working in his favour. His arm has been rendered useless. I wouldn’t be surprised if his hand eventually falls off—I know that’s a pretty horrific thought, but it’s what I can see in front of my very eyes. It’s black, it stinks of rot, of gone off meat, of decay. The tendons are stretching to almost breaking point. The entire limb looks worse by itself than any of the previous specimens I’ve seen. It’s as if that part of him has been in stage three for months, and the rest of him is simply catching up. Maybe this is what I would’ve seen had I kept the others here. Maybe it’s what I will see in the coming days with fourteen. It’s not a wonderful thought; in fact, looking at it makes me doubt that the victims will die. Jason seems to continue on just fine, even if his hand/arm is suffering.
I hate writing this down about my friend, as if he isn’t a human being, but simply something that should be monitored. I’m watching him die, and instead of being able to grieve, I’m documenting the process. It’s insane, all of it.
I can’t watch this. I can’t stand seeing Jason go through what all of the others have. I can’t bear the thought of him in stage three, hammering on the glass of his enclosure, unable to recognise me or remember any of our friendship. I keep imagining it and even the thought is unbearable.
I’ll have to get out of here before then.
3:45 a.m.
Something so terrible just happened. So awful that I need to write it down just so I don’t forget the earth shattering fear that I’m experiencing right now. My heart is racing and my hand is still shaking, so I’ll get this written down the best way that I can.
I was woken up by a humongous crashing sound, which blended in with the nightmare I was having in a terrifying way. My heart sank. I just knew that sound meant something awful—when does it not? I could feel it deep inside my chest. To make it worse, it was pitch black, the darkest I’ve ever experienced. The electricity generator must have cut out at some point during the night. I started to panic, I mean really panic. Something was obviously going on and I couldn’t even see as far as the end of my nose. I’m not too proud to admit that I sat gripping onto the edge of my sheet, ears straining for any new noises for quite some time.
As soon as I ascertained that it was safe enough for me to move, I crept into the laboratory. I had to feel my way forward, my eyes just wouldn’t adjust to the blackness. I whispered Jason’s name, wanting to check he was okay. It’s not that I didn’t care about any of the other specimens; I just knew that Jason was the only one in any condition to answer me. At least, he had been.
I was met by silence. I started to feel incredibly sick, I was sure that noise would have woken him up too, so for him not to answer me was very strange. I started to assume the worst, the way your mind does when you’re put in a frightening situation. I became certain that he’d blasted through the stages at great haste and was now deeply into the third stage. Lost to me before I could even say goodbye.
I kept moving on, trying to position myself outside his enclosure so I could glean a better impression of what was happening. Growling noises seemed to be emanating from every angle, I wasn’t even sure if they were real, or still part of the nightmare I’d been having.
The lights flickered on and off rapidly. Someone was obviously trying to get the power up and running, and wasn’t doing a particularly good job of it. During this time, two horrifying facts came to life. The first was that Jason’s door was wide open. The second was a trail of blood leading from his enclosure towards the bathroom.
My presumptions were correct. Jason was no more.
I didn’t feel sad. I didn’t even feel scared. I didn’t feel anything, just a numbness that kept my feet frozen to the spot. My mouth ran dry and I felt like my throat was beginning to close—I don’t know how else to describe it.
Then there was more noise. Shuffling, wheezing, inhuman sounds which just confirmed all of my worst fears. My fingers began to throb with the tension. My legs moved of their own accord. My brain wanted to run far away in the opposite direction, but as that wasn’t an available option, I pushed myself forward.
I tried to prepare myself for what I was going to see. I warned myself that this could quickly turn nasty. I knew I could get bitten, I was perfectly aware that was a high possibility. I forced myself to imagine killing Jason, because I knew I might have to. I desperately didn’t want to fight, I didn’t want it to come down to that, but still I continued to move.
It turns out that I didn’t have enough time to fully consider all of my options because the next time I looked up, he was there, right in front of me.
He had his back turned to me at first, but I could still see the blood dripping from him. It was blackening and coagulating. By this point, the lights had returned to normal. In my terror I hadn’t noticed the moment they’d stopped flickering. I pushed my back against the wall, trying to hide myself, my breaths were heavy and fast. This moment was about to change everything. I knew that nothing would ever be the same again.
Then, movement. I knew it was happening, it was all over. A single tear fell from my eye as I knew Jason was fully infected and about to pass it on to me.
“Hi.”
The sound of his voice quickly knocked me out of my stupor. That simple greeting shocked me to my core and filled me with relief all at the same time. I lost control of my legs and fell to the ground, dizzy with conflicting emotions.
Jason wasn’t confused about my behaviour for very long. It was easy to t
ell why I’d been acting so strange. The blood dripped from his original bite wound. His skin is almost dissolving around it, exactly the same as what’s happening to specimen fourteen. The moment was bittersweet, because although we could both laugh about it then, it’s a reality that we will soon have to face for real. This incident just highlighted that.
CHAPTER 42
ALYSSA
I could jump up and down with excitement. This place looks much better protected than I’d even imagined it would be. Even Pete can’t argue with the security this place will provide. I doubt we’d ever have to move on from here. I’m sure we could stay here for as long as is necessary—maybe even forever, if that’s what it comes down to. Of course, the possibility of that becomes more realistic by the second, but I don’t say that to the rest of the group. I can’t, especially not after that speech I made. The one that was quite certain we’d all be rescued at some point. Deep down I’m perfectly aware that no one is coming, but I need to act positive, just to keep up morale.
There are a few zombies scattered about the base, all in uniform. They must have been RAF fighters that got left behind in the race to the airport, or they were forced to stay behind due to infection. They look strange, almost comical. They seem much slower and more sluggish than any I’ve seen before, almost as if any movement is a great effort. Even the sight of us hasn’t riled them up that much. Of course that could all change when we get within reach, so I won’t allow myself to become complacent.
It’s decided with barely any communication that Randy, Pete, and I will go inside to clear the area. They both look as quietly confident as I feel. This looks like it’s going to be one of the easiest challenges we’ve had to face. I feel anticipation buzzing through me as we get ready to go in. I grip tightly to the handle of my axe, waiting to start. This time my suggestion to stick together goes down well—luckily everyone is starting to see that my ideas are smart and the right ones to follow. We position ourselves in a circle formation so we can see every angle. This way, we shouldn’t have any nasty surprises.