Naive Retribution

by Dawson, H A

  From that moment, he had vowed to do something about his situation and decided he should be firmer with his actions and fight for his rights, at least until he had formulated a plan to get out. Reaffirming his newfound strength, he plucked the key to his private drawer from his schoolbag and hesitated over the lock. Maisie was looking to him and tenderness oozed from her eyes. She gave him hope of an optimistic future.

  Joe stuffed the old photographs inside a magazine and scurried to the bathroom. With the door locked, he perched on the edge of the bath, and opened it up. In the first image, Jade’s face gleamed. She had straight shoulder length hair, a side parting and a long fringe swept to one side. In another Jade was laid on the floor, inebriated and with blood shot eyes, and wearing only her underwear. Her hair was ragged and her makeup smeared across her face. Even in that state, she looked gorgeous, and he yearned to breathe in her sweet and seductive scent.

  Enjoying this electric sensation speeding through his veins, he flicked through the images. She was beautiful, wild and exciting, and had often surprised him with her reckless attitude and need to try something more daring. He hadn’t wanted to say no, he hadn’t wanted to be pushed aside, and had loved everything about her. They had stolen from shops, taken part in orgies, and bullied anyone and everyone. They were outrageous times.

  Smiling, he wondered what she was doing now.

  It was a pity their relationship had to end the way it had, and he could still see, as clear as if it had just happened, her grief-stricken face after the midwife had pronounced her baby dead. Holding his hand close to her throbbing heart, he recalled her pained screams. He had been helpless in his role as her partner, and his fruitless reassurance caused a lump in his throat. She stared at him, her face pleading, but he had offered her nothing. Soon after, she had vanished, never giving him the opportunity to say sorry.

  ‘Dylan,’ Dawn screamed.

  Joe placed the photos in the magazine and opened the bathroom door. Dylan was exiting his room and looked to Joe’s feet. A photo had slipped free.

  ‘Who’s that?’ Dylan asked.

  ‘An old friend. I didn’t know it was in there.’ Hiding his flushes, he bent over and placed it with the others inside the magazine. ‘You’d better see what your mum wants.’

  Dylan trundled down the stairs and Joe scurried into the bedroom. He hid the photographs at the bottom of a drawer and followed his son.

  ‘And do it properly,’ Dawn yelled.

  Dylan was preparing the table for the evening meal. His shoulders were slumped and his back arched. He looked like a withered old man.

  ‘Straighten yourself up lad, there’s a good boy,’ Joe said.

  ‘Why are you picking on me all of the time?’

  ‘Don’t be soft. A bit of criticism never does anyone any harm.’

  ‘You need to toughen up,’ Dawn added, ‘we’ll make a man out of you yet.’

  ‘All I want, is to be left alone.’

  Dawn sniggered. ‘Aw, poor little mite.’

  Scowling, Dylan selected the knives and forks from a drawer and placed them alongside the mats. The reluctance of his movements was vivid to see.

  ‘What’s got into you of late,’ Joe asked.

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘He’s just being a teenager,’ Dawn said, ‘he’ll grow out of it.’ She paused and held a twinkle in her eye. ‘I hope he grows out of the rest too.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I found a porno magazine under his bed. I’ve seen him . . . you know . . .’

  Joe laughed.

  Flushing, Dylan shot her a stare and hurried along the hallway.

  ‘Dylan,’ she said, ‘we’re just having fun.’

  ‘I hate you! I hate you both.’ His steps pounded the staircase and the bedroom door slammed shut.

  ‘You should know he hasn’t much of a sense of humour,’ Joe said.

  ‘Then it’s about time he got one.’

  ‘He’s at a difficult age. Remember what we were like back then . . . we weren’t much older, a couple of years maybe.’

  ‘You were as horny as . . .’

  ‘And so were you,’ Joe replied.

  ‘Remember our threesome with Jade Horton?’

  ‘How could I forget? I don’t think she ever suspected we were seeing each other.’

  ‘I doubt she would have been bothered.’

  ‘No, you’re likely to be right.’

  Joe dropped onto the chair and gazed at Dawn stirring the casserole. She was a tall, broad-shouldered woman, nothing like Jade, but despite an almost-permanent intimidating glare there was something very appealing about her.

  ‘Jade hasn’t changed much,’ Joe said.

  ‘You’ve seen her?’

  ‘At a distance.’

  ‘Do you intend to speak to her?’

  ‘I haven’t decided.’

  ‘Be careful.’

  Joe grinned. They were wise words.

  Chapter 4

  Jade took one last glance in the rear view mirror, wiped any residue from her face, and smoothed down her hair. She had a beaten look about her, and the puffiness caused by her tears had still not dissipated. She hoped William would not notice; she wasn’t in the mood to have to provide an explanation.

  Having retrieved the takeaway and her handbag from the passenger seat, she exited the car and headed towards the house. It was dark outside, and as she approached the door, a light triggered. She held her breath, forced a brave face, and opened the door.

  ‘You’ve been gone a while. I was getting worried,’ William said.

  ‘Sorry.’

  Keeping her head low, she extracted the small plastic containers from the carrier bag and placed them on the surface.

  ‘Was there a queue?’

  ‘A bit.’

  Out of her eye corner, she caught sight of his perplexed expression as his gaze penetrated the side of her head. Willing him to desist with his silent interrogation, she sought to busy herself, and hurried the sweet and sour chicken pieces, king prawn chow mein, and beef with green peppers in black bean sauce onto the plates. An enticing and mouth-watering aroma filled the air.

  ‘Something’s happened, hasn’t it?’ William said.

  Jade’s stomach churned. Forcing aside memories of the pained cries of her brothers, she swept the empty containers and lids into the carrier bag and placed it on the floor by the door.

  ‘Speak to me,’ he continued.

  ‘Not now. I want to eat.’

  ‘Did you see him?’

  Jade jerked. ‘Just leave it . . . please.’

  Obliging, William picked up his plate and headed to the dining table in the next room. Tears stung her eyes, and her chest heaved. She looked to her food, but even though it was enticing, she could not find any desire to eat.

  She thumped her fist onto the worktop. The plate rattled.

  ‘Everything okay?’ William called.

  ‘Fine!’

  Quelling her anger, Jade smoothed her hand across her face and carried her plate to the dining room. She could not look at William, but knew he would continue his assessment. Unable to enlighten him, she nibbled at her food in silence. Gradually, as her swirling sickness lessened, her appetite triggered, and by the time she had finished she was forced to admit it felt good to have a full stomach.

  William had also placed his knife and fork onto the plate, and clasped his hands across his stomach. He looked to her with compassion and hope.

  Her pulse quickened; he was going to demand an explanation. She leapt from her seat and grabbed the plates, intent on making a swift escape.

  ‘Jade . . . please tell me what happened.’

  She scurried into the kitchen. He remained in her shadow.

  ‘Did you get another message?’

  Her voice froze. She looked at him, her mouth ajar.

  ‘What did it say?’

  ‘The message wasn’t the problem. It . . . it . . .’ Her legs weakened. She slumped onto a stool.<
br />
  William reached to her hands, willing her to speak.

  ‘I had a flashback. I was in the fire and . . .’ she shook her head and covered her face with her hands. It would not come.

  ‘It’ll be better letting it out.’

  Her chest heaved. She steadied her voice. ‘Brian and John were screaming out my name. “Jade, Jade,” they cried. They were in the fire. I couldn’t get to them . . . the flames . . . the heat . . . I just couldn’t do it.’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault.’

  ‘I should have saved them. I don’t remember exactly what happened but I knew I’d chosen to save myself instead of them. It’s my fault they died. They were my responsibility.’

  ‘No,’ he squeezed her hand, ‘you mustn’t think that. There was nothing you could have done.’

  ‘I could have saved them. They were screaming William. Don’t you get it? They burned to death because of me.’ Jade’s face scrunched. She pressed her arms to her middle and leaned forward, seeking a release from her pain. ‘They were little children. They didn’t know what was happening. They needed my help. I should have got them out. It should have been the first thing I did.’

  William squeezed her hands.

  ‘Other people manage it and they’re labelled as heroes. They always say it’s what anyone would have done in the same circumstance. But I couldn’t. What kind of person does that make me?’

  ‘Maybe you were already outside when the fire started.’

  ‘During the night?’

  ‘It’s possible. You could have heard something and gone out to investigate.’

  ‘That’s no excuse. Other people go into burning buildings.’

  ‘You mustn’t torture yourself with this. It’s not going to resolve anything. Come on, let’s move into the lounge.’

  He encouraged her from the stool and guided her into the next room where she flopped onto the cream, leather sofa. It was a beautiful room, with a large bay window and plenty of space, and upon a wall, there was a 42-inch flat screen television. Comforted by her cosy and familiar surroundings, her taut body relaxed.

  ‘I’ll make a drink,’ William said.

  She nodded, and watched him leave. Whilst she waited, she tried to gather strength, and told herself she was ridiculous feeling such pain, when in reality, her brothers had died eighteen years before. It was not recent news; she had always known they had died in a fire, and whilst she had never had memories relating to the incident, she did have an imagination. It was too late to do anything about it, and it was too late for uncontrollable grief.

  William appeared with two mugs of coffee.

  ‘Sorry. I feel better now. I shouldn’t have let it bother me so much.’

  ‘I don’t know. I think I’d be the same. You’re memories are new to you and therefore it feels recent.’

  She rubbed her hands together. He was right. It did feel as though it was only yesterday, and it was surprising, given that she hadn’t remembered anything for such a long time that her memories were so vivid. She could see the flames sweeping the house, and she could smell the smoke and feel it clogging her airways.

  William caught her eye. ‘At least we now know what the stalker meant by denial. Lets hope that’s the end of it.’

  She gawked, and then after a couple of seconds it dawned. ‘I didn’t think of that. He’s saying I’m to blame for the boys’ deaths. It’s never even been a consideration before.’

  ‘But you’re not to blame, remember that. It’s just what some sicko thinks.’

  Jade frowned.

  William switched on the television, raised his leg to rest it on the arm of the armchair, and flicked through the channels.

  ‘But who would know such a thing?’ Jade continued.

  ‘Kath?’

  ‘I thought we’d been through this.’

  Silence.

  ‘She wasn’t there that night, remember? She was at a friend’s house.’

  ‘She could still blame you.’

  ‘No . . . she would have said.’

  ‘I still think you should speak to her.’

  Jade reached for her coffee and leaned back into pliable leather, mulling over everything that had happened. It was good to finally start being able to connect the pieces.

  ‘Holy moly! I just remembered something,’ she said, ‘remember me saying I’d had a drink with her, well she made a strange comment, something like, “if I can forgive and forget, so can you”. She blamed me for something.’

  ‘Your brother’s deaths?’

  ‘It has to be.’

  ‘Are you going to speak to her?’

  ‘I . . . I’m not sure.’

  ‘I doubt this is going to be your only memory to return. You have to do something, or this could get out of hand.’

  ‘I will.’

  There was a look of doubt in his eyes, and even though she reaffirmed her decision, he didn’t seem at all convinced. However, William was willing to let the matter drop, and his gaze soon concentrated on the television, apparently dismissing any concerns in a swift manner. Grateful his attention had been diverted, she too tried to settle herself, but the drama didn’t generate any interest and her thoughts bounced around her mind like feet on hot coats. The memory of the fire was a main concern, but Kelsey and the problem boy was another.

  Deciding to eliminate one of her anxieties, she retrieved her smart phone from her bag in the kitchen and tapped in a message reminding Kelsey to promise to do something about him. After sending the message, she remembered she had added the number for Luke Adams to her address book and wondered if she should make contact.

  As William had suggested, it did look as though her memories may be returning. In some ways, it was a good thing. It proved that she was in a better place than she had been in for years and therefore should be in a position to deal with what had happened. It may not even be that bad. Perhaps she had already remembered the worst of what was hidden.

  Feeling a surge of positivity, Jade tapped in a brief message and asked Luke to contact her in the morning. She pressed the send button. Her relief was instant.

  The following morning, Jade awoke to a stream of light seeping through a gap in the curtains, and felt refreshed and revitalised. The memories of the fire still burned within, but they held less significance, and had done so since she realised the connection with the drawing. Whoever her stalker was, had in a curious way, done her a favour. Nonetheless, a niggle remained. Who else, other than Kath, would care that she had never admitted her guilt? It couldn’t be Joe.

  Laying in bed, staring at the white, rippled ceiling, she let the warmth of the duvet soak into her skin, and refused to contemplate her problem. William had already departed for work, and so she stretched out her legs, moving them to the other side of the bed.

  Her partner was a stamp dealer, buying and selling stamps throughout the world, and aside from providing them with a wealthy income it gave William the flexibility to choose his hours to suit. He rarely worked a conventional nine until five day, and often took time out to play tennis or visit friends. On the negative side, she never knew exactly where he was or what he was doing. Not that it had ever caused friction; she was happy in her ignorance and trusted him implicitly.

  Jade turned onto her side, pulled the duvet around her neck and considered another benefit; she could visit Joe without William’s knowledge. Even though her only intention was to ask about his knowledge of her family circumstances, she still felt her guilt rise and mix with a flurry of excitement. William had been informed of the wild times she had shared with Joe, and he had not passed judgement, but that did not mean that he would be happy with a reunion. To save his feelings, she would do it in private, and maybe today was as good a day as any.

  She thrust back the covers and padded the rugged floor to the wardrobe. Pausing at the full-length mirror, she assessed her reflection. Aside from her light golden-brown hair, which was ragged with sleep, she didn’t look too bad; her complexion was
rosy and had a healthy glow, and her figure was slender. Joe was sure to be impressed, and if anything, she looked better now than sixteen years previous. Living a clean lifestyle had its benefits.

  For a few moments, she fingered the outfits, deciding what to wear. Her most flattering outfit was a skater dress, in a pretty floral blue fabric and with an open round neckline and three-quarter length sleeves. She plucked it free and hooked it to an upper cupboard doorknob, and headed into the shower room.

  The shower was invigorating and the warm soapy bubbles descending her curves, leaving her skin silky soft. After a few moments relishing the moment, she rinsed away the soapy residue then stepped onto a mat. A fluffy lemon towel, warmed by a heater, was wrapped around her body. It was glorious sensation, a pleasant reminder of how different her life was to the time she had spent with Joe.

  Until Joe had acquired council accommodation, they had lived in squalid surroundings, often breaking into disused and dilapidated buildings to sleep. Washing had been a luxury, and she had often crept into a private sports club to use the showers. It had been an absolute pleasure, worthy of the wait to seek out the perfect moment to hurry past the receptionist. She would stay under the hot, forceful water until her skin wrinkled and turned red. It was a memorable moment.

  Her reminiscing was a reminder of how tragic her life had become after the house fire, and how far away it now seemed. Aside from Joe, there was nothing good about those couple of years, and not wanting to go back there, it reaffirmed her decision to put an end to the stalking activity. Needing no further convincing, she progressed downstairs, had a leisurely breakfast, and awaited the call from Luke. It came mid morning.

  ‘Thanks for getting back to me. It’s been a long time,’ she said.

  ‘It has. How are you keeping?’

  ‘Good, kind of, but I’m afraid I’m not ringing for personal reasons, although that’s not to say I wouldn’t like to catch up.’