by Dawson, H A
‘Go on.’
‘I’m being stalked. I don’t know who is doing it, but it’s getting creepy. He – I’m assuming it’s a he – seems to know things about my past.’
‘Have you been to the police?’
‘No. I don’t intend to. I was hoping you would look into it.’
‘It is a criminal offence.’
‘I know, but I really don’t want to involve them.’ Her heart pounded; she thought of Kath. ‘I just want to know who it is that’s doing it.’
‘As long as you’re sure.’
‘I am.’
‘Could you come down to the office. I prefer to do these things face to face.’
‘Sure. When?’
‘No time like the present. How about two-thirty this afternoon?’
Jade’s pulse quickened. ‘Today?’
‘Is that a problem?’
‘No.’ She caught her breath ‘No that’s okay. Thanks Luke.’
‘You too. See you later.’
She put down the phone and sunk back into the sofa. Suddenly, her decision seemed very real.
Time passed far too quickly, and Jade failed to occupy her anxious mind and restless body. She flitted between rooms, tidying away out-of-place objects, and attempted to dust the surfaces, but she still could not settle. Relenting to her nervousness, she perched on a dining chair with her knuckle to her mouth, and considered the imminent meeting.
Luke would ask far too many questions, and would want to know every detail relating to her family life and the tragic incident. In addition, he may even ask about her time with Joe and William. Even though they would be speaking in a professional capacity, Jade was not keen on sharing such information; it was far too personal and it could provoke a flood of uncomfortable memories.
Her head banged with his interrogation. She would have to explain her amnesia and tell him about her recent flashback. He was sure to ask why she had saved herself in preference to her two little brothers. How could she offer an explanation when it was still hidden in the depths of her mind?
Driving along she tried to eliminate her nagging doubts, but they would not dispel and the cries were relentless. Jade had lived without knowledge of the truth for years, so why did her ignorance matter now? There was every chance her stalker’s comments had been coincidental and that he knew nothing of her tragic past, and if that were the case, she would be opening old wounds unnecessarily. Was it worth the risk?
Nonetheless, she persisted with her journey, and to her dismay, arrived without setback or incidence. She had hoped one of the roads would be blocked, or that her car would breakdown. It wasn’t to be. She arrived at his office premises a few minutes early.
Jade slid the car into a parking space and gazed at the sign ‘Luke Adams: Private Investigator’. Her pulse quickened, her heart pounded in her chest, and her limbs immobilised. She looked to the time: it was a couple of minutes before half past two. It was time she moved.
She couldn’t do it. She waited a moment longer, watched the minutes tick by, and told herself Luke would be waiting. Still, she could not lift herself from her seat. The fear of the interrogation, the possibility that her memories may return, restricted her movements.
It was fifteen minutes to three. She looked at the doorway. There was no sign of movement inside, nothing to drive her towards the door. She continued to wait.
Her skin was clammy and moisture had formed on the back of her neck. She wiped away an itchy dribble and glanced to her reflection in the rear view mirror. Her skin was shiny and red; she looked terrible.
Getting answers was not worth her anguish. She had managed for years without her memories, and she had grown used to it. In fact, her dissociative amnesia had become her friend, and she didn’t want it to be any other way.
Jade switched on the engine, took one last glimpse at Luke’s premises, and drove away. Whilst her sticky skin soon faded, a thought continued to revolve. Who was her stalker, and could Kath, in anyway, be involved? Perhaps visiting her sister was something she could do.
After battling with the school traffic, she arrived in Kath’s estate. She had only visited once before and did not have an address, but she remembered it was in the middle of an avenue and backed onto woodland. Feeling sure she would recognise it, she searched the streets, and drove up and down, but all to no avail. She was at the point of losing hope when her eyes darted to a parked car. It was William’s, and he was inside her sister’s house.
Jade’s jaw dropped. How could he betray her in such a fashion? He had agreed to leave any decisions to her. In the very least, he should have discussed his intentions. He didn’t have a clue what he was getting involved with and knew very little of the difficulties she had with her sister. And, if truth be told, it was none of his business.
Her anger rose. She put her foot onto the accelerator and sped to the other end of the road. At the junction, she paused, ran her fingers through her golden-brown hair, and considered the possible consequences of William’s actions.
During their teenage years, Kath had always been sensitive to criticism, especially when she felt she was being treated unfairly. She could never brush off an accusation and often held a grudge, and so regardless of whether she was the stalker, she would not respond favourably to William’s suggestion.
Any chance of reforming their relationship had gone.
A car pulled up at her rear. Jade indicated left, pulled to the side to let the car pass, and contemplated her troubles. Evidently, she couldn’t trust William, and whilst she had numerous friends, there was no one with whom she could trust with her inner most thoughts. She puffed out. She needed someone to talk to.
An idea sprung into her mind. There was one person who would be supportive, and whilst there was only a slim chance he would be still on the same number, it was a chance worth taking.
She dialled the number that was permanently etched into her mind, and her heartbeat quickened.
‘Hello, Joe Dobbs speaking.’
Jade’s mouth dried. Suddenly, she didn’t have a clue what to say.
Chapter 5
A little earlier
Kath sat on the edge of the bed and cradled the sandals in her hands. They were exquisitely beautiful, had four-inch heels and open latticework near the toes, and the label was still attached. Nonetheless, there was not joy in her heart and her insides ached with her decision. She should return them to the shop and retrieve the money. It would be the right thing to do.
Eighty pounds was far more than she would normally spend on shoes, but she had purchased them as a treat for holding a job down for a whole year. She had believed that she had finally turned a corner and that good fortune was favouring her. It had seemed like a safe declaration to make.
Until recently Kath had worked part time a department store in the ladies clothing section, and had spent many hours drooling over the items that she could only dream of being able to afford. She served the customers without malice and went out of her way to help them. Most of the staff seemed to like her, some of the regular customers requested her personal assistance, and the hours suited. It had been her perfect job.
More importantly, it had provided her with an income. Biting her lip, she gazed at the sandals and battled with her demons. She didn’t want to have part with them but how could she not? She may not find another job for weeks, and her daughters’ birthdays were fast approaching. Eighty pounds would allow her to purchase gifts that were more favourable.
Kath wrapped them in the crepe paper and placed them back in the box. She would do it tomorrow. Chloe and Lily’s needs were more important than her own, and it was not as if she was going without. She still had an old pair, and the scuffs on the heels were barely visible. She would have to cope and Ignore her sorrow.
She glanced at the time. Liam would be returning home soon with the girls, and the calmness would fade into chaos. Wanting to get a head start with the meal preparations, she scurried downstairs, retrieved the potatoe
s and carrots to chop into strips, grabbed a large tin of mushy peas from the cupboard, and looked into the freezer for suitable protein. Multiple packs of cheap fish had been placed nearest the door. It would have to suffice.
Her irritation grated. She liked eating expensive foods, and was fed up of having to count her money and ration out what she had purchased. It was not as if the situation she had found herself in had been her fault. She had been sacked, but no matter how often she had reiterated her innocence, it had made no difference. Beyond the moment, there was no one to tell and no one who cared. Once again, she had been forced to deal with a false accusation, and it never got any easier.
Kath’s thoughts drifted to her youth and the first time her father criticised her behaviour. Even when she had done no wrong, he had never believed her cries of innocence, and his accusations hurt. He labelled her as a dropout and a no-hoper and punished her without evidence. In part, it had been Jade’s fault; she had been the perfect daughter and had put aside her own desires for the sake of their sick mother. Kath could never have competed with that, not unless she too had become an angel.
Refusing to allow her muscles to tighten, Kath forced steady breaths and continued with the preparations, reiterating her calmness in her mind. Her anger must not be allowed to grow inside of her. She must maintain control and not let her dismissal from work or her father’s treatment of her, eat away at her. To ensure past lessons had been learned, she reminded herself of the family tragedy.
Kath’s mistakes had been of her own choosing. It was a bitter reality, and she willed aside the torturous images of shame and regret. She wanted forgiveness, wanted to feel her sister’s love and affection, but she also wanted an apology. It was not going to be an easy goal to achieve considering Jade’s refusal to talk about the incident, but it was how it had to be.
The outer door banged open. Her family had returned home.
After receiving multiple hugs and kisses from Chloe and Lily, and having listened to her daughters enthusiastic recount of their day at Liam’s mother’s house, Kath settled back into the kitchen. Whilst chopping the potato, she listened to the Chloe’s screechy exclamation through the walls, and could tell from Liam’s command to hold on that he was on his hands and knees pretending to be Susie-Ann, their imaginary pony.
‘She’s going to buck,’ he said.
Giggles mingled with screams.
‘My turn, my turn,’ Lily said.
Kath gathered the potato pieces into a pan, added water, and placed it onto the hob. She loved to watch their antics and gazed to the doorway with a familiar longing, wondering if food preparations could wait. In the end, she decided not. She wanted to be one step ahead, as when her daughters’ little stomachs demanded food they would not find any patience and their mood would turn sour. She would find time for them later.
After a few minutes, Liam appeared and gazed at the offerings in the pans. ‘Fish again. That’s three times this week.’
‘Twice actually, but it’s not my fault. I am trying to get a job.’
‘No luck then?’
‘No, I’ve trailed the shops. There doesn’t seem to be much around. Anyway, no one’s going to give me a chance when they see my record.’
Liam reached for a glass and filled it with cold water. His silence was oppressive. He had not actually accused her of any crime, but neither had he displayed sympathy. It was time they talked about it properly.
‘You think I stole from them, don’t you?’
He did not look at her.
‘I can’t believe you’d even think such a thing. I told you I was set up.’
‘Yes, you did. You said someone planted the stuff in your bag.’
‘They did! Why don’t you believe me?’
He sipped the water.
‘Liam? I told you I was innocent!’
‘I know, and I believe you.’
‘It doesn’t sound like it . . . just because I have a record, I’m automatically guilty. You’re no better than the rest.’
She lowered the heat on the food and hurried up the steps to the bathroom. Liam did not attempt to stop her or extend the conversation. She would not lose her temper, even if she felt devastated.
Breathe, she told herself. She inhaled, counted to five, and exhaled.
Liam, above everyone else, should be aware of how any false accusation burned. He had heard of how poorly her family had treated her, and he knew the consequences. She rested her hands on the basin and stared at her reflection. She was weak, pathetic, and her eyes betrayed her cowardice. Just for once, she wanted someone to believe in her; Just for once, she wanted someone on her side.
She deserved better, and fought to release the tension from her muscles and dreamed of Jade’s apology. They would wrap their arms around each other. They would ease away the pain, together. They would be sisters again
Somehow, for the sake of her mindset, Kath knew she must seek a solution. She must make Jade see the error of her ways and she must force the truth from her. There was no other way.
The doorbell sounded.
‘Jade,’ Liam cried, ‘it’s for you.’
She hurried downstairs. William was waiting in the hallway.
‘Hello Kath, sorry to bother you.’ He glanced to the kitchen and sniffed the gentle aroma. ‘Is it bad timing?’
‘Liam is working a late shift and has to be out soon, but I can spare a few minutes.’
‘That’s all I need.’
She weaved past, closed the door to the living room, and guided him to the kitchen. ‘Is Jade all right?’
‘Yes . . . kind of. I’ll come straight to the point.’
Having caught sight of his worried face, Kath stopped herself from turning up the heat on the hob. His visit had to be something to do with Jade’s swift escape. She could not think of any other reason for his sudden and unusual appearance.
‘I don’t want you thinking this is an accusation, because it’s most definitely not.’
Her pulse quickened and her expression tightened. ‘Okay . . . go on.’
‘Jade is being tracked by someone, and they’re accusing her of things relating to her past . . . things to do with your family and the fire.’
‘What?’
William nodded. ‘She hasn’t a clue who’s responsible. I wondered if you might have any ideas.’
She shook her head. ‘What’s this person saying?’
‘That she's in denial.’
He was holding a firm gaze, studying her for a sign of weakness, but she was not going to relent to his persistence and tried to appear as stolid as possible. Nonetheless, a fear ran through her veins. William must think she was guilty or he wouldn’t be there.
‘Is the accusation definitely related to the fire?’ Kath asked.
‘What else could it be?’
‘I hoped you’d tell me,’ she said and turned her attention to the peas, giving them a quick stir.
‘Do you know anyone who may think she’s in denial?’ William asked.
‘No. The facts show she’s not guilty of anything, and she knows that, so what’s she afraid of?’
William hesitates and his gaze, causes Kath’s nerves to dance. He is definitely probing, looking for ways to trip her up. She must remain focused.
‘Are you aware she has dissociate amnesia?’
‘What? No.’
William nodded. ‘She has only very selective memories relating to that time. If fact until yesterday, she remembered nothing of the fire.’
Her pulse quickened. ‘And now?
‘She remembers your brothers screaming for help.’
‘And that’s it?’
‘That’s it. We think the rest is going to come back to her though. We’re hoping she doesn’t find anything out she’d rather not know.’
Kath held her hand to her mouth. ‘I can’t believe she never told me any of this.’
‘You never knew?’
‘No. It explains a few things.’
‘Like what?’
‘She avoids talking about our family. I just thought she hadn’t come to terms with things. It took me a while too.’
‘Will you talk to her?’
‘I don’t know. I’m not sure it would be a good idea. We’ve never been close, and it’s not like I haven’t tried. I get the impression she’s uncomfortable around me.’
The door opened and Chloe and Lily charged into the room, screaming out to her and talking over each other. She ordered them to stop and wait, and returned her attention to William.
‘I’m going to have to get on,’ she said. ‘If I think of anything that may be of use I’ll let you know.’
‘Thanks, that would be great. She’s very anxious.’
Kath nodded. ‘She has no reason to worry.’
William smiled. ‘That’s good to hear.’
Remaining in a trance-like state, she watched him leave. Her awareness of Jade’s amnesia had changed everything, and she wondered about her plan to force an apology. It may trigger an exposure of other things best forgotten, and right now, she wasn’t sure if that would be a wise move. It would need consideration, but now was not the time. She had a husband and two little girls to feed, and their demands were starting to grate.
Chapter 6
The conversation with Joe, albeit brief, left a tingle in Jade’s body. Unwilling to let it disappear so quickly, instead of just returning home to William and an argument, she drove through the streets, searching for memories, and let her mind be thrilled by the prospect of the meeting.
Had he changed? Would his touch, his presence, his breath upon her neck, send shivers down her spine? Was he happy? Would he want to remain in touch? The questions were endless, spiralling and rampant, and her impatience grew. In just twenty-four hours, she would have her answers. It seemed like such a long time to wait.
After battling with the city centre traffic, Jade parked the car in a quiet setting on an industrial street in the centre. There was an alley up ahead and an old favourite drinking haunt at a corner, and her pulse quickened, excited by images of her wild, youthful exuberance. Craving a better look, she stepped out of the vehicle.