Confused by Love

by TL Messruther

  “No, I'm fine, thank you. Let’s go find our room and unpack.”

  We get our keys from the front desk and start heading towards the elevators. Donte follows us, but I can’t look at him. He makes me feel different, a feeling I can’t explain. We all step onto the elevator together. I keep my eyes on the floor the whole journey up to our floor. We all exit on the same floor. I walk to our room number. When we get to our door, our luggage is there, waiting on us. There is an extra suitcase that doesn’t belong there.

  “I’ll call down to reception and get them to remove it,” I say to Claire, who agrees with me.

  “Actually....... it’s mine,” Donte says hesitating. I turn and look at him, puzzled.

  “I couldn’t get you girls a room. They were all booked by the time I called. But because this is the president suite, we have separate rooms, so I thought you and your friend here could share with me. But don’t worry, you will have our own privacy.” I can’t believe my ears, share a suite with my boss? Why on earth didn’t he tell me? I don’t know if this is a good idea or not. Since there are no more rooms, it looks as though we don’t have much of a choice.

  “Well thank you, but you could have warned us. And my friend here is called Claire!” I reply in an angered voice, because let’s face it, I’m angry!

  “I'm sorry, I didn’t know what else to do. If I told you, you might not have come and it’s a good opportunity for you, Isabella,” Donte said, holding his hands up in defence, his blue sky eyes clouding to a dolphin blue shade with anger.

  “Yeah, come on, Izzy. It’s not as if we all have to share a bed,” says Claire. I look straight up at Donte, whose eyes are suddenly shining. He gives a little smile as if to say 'now that would be fun'.

  “Alright, well, let’s stay then,” I say as I unlock the door, knowing I will not win this argument.

  Donte lets us have the big room and he takes the little room. I did say he didn’t have to as he was paying, but he insisted.

  For the next half hour, we unpack, putting all our personal belongings away. Suddenly, there is a knock on our bedroom door. Claire opens the door and Donte asks if he can come in. She looks at me for an answer, so I nod. She steps aside to let him in.

  “I'm ordering room service. Do you want to get anything?” he asks, while smiling at me. His mood swings give me whiplash. One minute he's angry because I don't agree with him, then his eyes are shining with humor.

  “Yes please, I am famished,” I reply. Claire said she was okay and she is going to call it a night. She had a big late lunch and she was turning in early as she had to get up early to go shopping before the show. She had left her make up brushes at home, and without them, we can’t do my makeup. With that, Donte left our room and shut the door behind him.

  “Claire, are you okay? Have you seriously left your brushes at home, or are you making an excuse?”

  “No, Izzy. I have left my brushes at home. You know I wouldn’t bail on you unless I had to. But you have to be perfect tomorrow. That’s my job, so I have to get up early enough to find the local supermarket to get these damn brushes. I love you. I will see you later,” she says as she kisses my cheek and shoves me out the room

  Claire shuts the bedroom door, so I walk over to the sofa where Donte is sitting with the room service menu. I sit on the opposite side of the sofa away from him, hoping he keeps his distance because he confuses me. He asks what I want, I shrug my shoulders, so he passes me the menu. I scan through it, but they only have cold cuts available at this time of night. I tell him I don’t fancy anything from the menu. “I'll be okay, I will just leave it for tonight.”

  “I don’t think so! We need you looking this beautiful at every show we have, so you have to keep your strength up,” he snaps at me. There again, another mood swing.

  “I know,” I say. “But it’s only one meal.”

  “There is a restaurant just around the corner. Let’s eat there,” he suggests.

  “Um, okay, but I have to tell Claire first. If she wakes and I'm not here, she might worry.”

  “Of course. I will just grab my jacket. You might want to grab one while you’re in there. It’s getting chilly outside now.” I nod and walk in our bedroom.

  “Claire? You still awake?” I ask her once the door was shut.

  “Yeah,” she answers sleepily, slowly sitting up in bed.

  “Donte and I are going out to a restaurant for food. Do you want to join us? The menu here only has cold cuts now.”

  “No, babe, I’m good. You go have fun. I will see you when you come to bed,” she replies while yawning.

  I walk over to the wardrobe that houses all our clothes. I don’t grab a jacket, instead I grab my wrap. I tiptoe out of the room since I hear my friend lightly snoring again. Donte is waiting by the entrance to our suite with his black suit jacket on. He looks handsome with his white t-shirt and black jeans on. He smiles at me and opens the door. I walk past, smiling right back at him. He grabs my arm lightly and stops me.

  “I'm glad you’re here. You look beautiful.” I snatch my arm out of his hold and walk to the elevator. Once again, I’m feeling confused.

  Chapter 7

  We arrive at the restaurant ten minutes later. He pulls up in the car park at the back, jumps out and opens my door before I can even grab the handle. He holds his hand out to help me from the car. I grab his hand and I feel a spark between the two of us. It makes me breathless, but only for a second. He presses the pad on his keys, then links his arm with mine. We walk in the restaurant. It’s a bright, open space with yellow walls and white, wooden tables. We are given a table right away. We are seated in the back of the restaurant. A waiter comes up to serve us.

  “Can I take your drink order please?”

  “Yeah, can I have a pint of Fosters, please? Isabella?” Donte says, asking me.

  “Can I have a vodka, lime and soda please?”

  “Certainly. They will be with you in a minute.” The waiter walks away. Donte starts asking me questions about family and my past.

  “Isabella. Don't be shy. Don't hide anything from me. I want to know a bit about you.”

  “What do you want to know?” I ask, suddenly feeling nervous and not wanting to have this conversation.

  “Well, tell me something random about yourself.”

  “Well, I really like chilli nuts.” He giggles at me. His beautiful white smile revealed behind his full lips.

  “I have never tried them.”

  “I will buy you some. They are nice.”

  “Okay, but I didn't mean that random, but that is useful to know. Tell me about you.”

  “If I answer some, are you going to tell me all about you?” I ask

  “Of course. This works both ways.”

  “Okay. So what do you want to know?”

  “Let’s start with your childhood”

  “Well I was placed in foster care at the age of three. My mom left me with my dad when I was seven months old. He didn't want to give up work, so he sent me to my grandparents. About a year after I joined them, my granddad died and it was just me and my gran. Two weeks before my third birthday my gran got ill and admitted to hospital. She couldn't cope with a toddler, so I was placed in care. I saw my gran twice a month till I was thirteen when she died from a heart attack. I miss her. I really miss her.”

  “Oh, I am so sorry for your loss,” he says as his eyes turning dark and sad. “You have had a hard upbringing then,” he pointed out.

  “You could say that. It’s made me stronger though. What about you?” I ask, wanting more from him before I can continue.

  “Well, I have never tried chilli nuts” he laughs and I giggle with him.

  “I don't know my dad. My mom raised my sister, Holly, and me on her own. Mom got married to Tony, my stepdad and Holly’s dad. He made her happy and in turn, we were all happy. Then he just left and we haven’t seen or heard from him since. I took on looking after Holly as she took it real hard and she rebelled against M
om. When Holly was fifteen, she moved in with my aunt Jenna. She blamed our mother for Tony leaving and never forgave her, but then my mom died a few years ago from cancer.”

  “ So, it wasn't just me with a hard upbringing then.”

  “So, why are you single, Izzy?” he asks, ignoring my previous statement.

  “I have had high school romances, but nothing serious. Then I never had the confidence after my accident. What about you? How long have you been with Amanda?”

  His eyes frost at the mention of her name. “Oh. Only about seven months,” he says, trying to brush it off like its nothing.

  “When do you get married?” I ask.

  “We haven’t set a date yet.” He is quick again to brush that off.

  Ten minutes later, our food arrives. We both ordered steak, fried onions and mushrooms, a baked potato, and a side salad.

  While we sit and eat our meal, Donte continues firing questions at me and I keep up with them. He also asks me why I choose fashion and modelling as a career. My answer is simple.

  “I was brought up in foster homes, as you now know. It’s not a very nice place to be. You get hand me down clothes, and I always grew up thinking I was ugly and that’s why my mom didn’t want me. But when I started college, I was offered a modelling job.”

  “Well, I must say you are beautiful. I have never seen eyes as captivating as yours. They are a beautiful, strong brown that sparkle.” I wanted to say back that he has beautiful eyes too, but my voice deserted me.

  “Thank you,” was all I could squeeze out past the escaping butterflies trying to flutter out from the pit of my stomach.

  “I am so glad you decided to take me up on the modelling and dinner,” he says as he winks at me. “That white top really brings out the color in your eyes. And it shapes your figure perfectly, showing all your sexy curves. However, it makes the black lacy bra underneath visible.”

  I fling my arms over my chest, not believing where his eyes have been lingering and throw my head on the table to cover my blush creeping up my face. I try to hide my laugh, but I can’t hold it back.

  “ I can see where your attention has been all night. You can look, but that's all you’re getting,” I say as I slyly pushing my breasts higher.

  He laughs at me when he notices I pushed them higher. Looks like I didn't get away with doing it slyly. I go to grab my glass to hide my blush and as I do, he goes to grab his and his hand touches mine, sending electricity coursing through my body. My hand stops mid-air as his hand connects to mine. My eyes dart to his. They are glowing like the ocean under full sunlight. He pauses and wraps one of his fingers round the smallest of my fingers. His skin is so soft and warm and I pull my hand free. He smiles at me, pulls his hand back to his lap. I quickly grab my glass and take a big gulp of my drink. We finish our dinner with unspoken words, with an occasional glance at each other and a sly smile.

  He gets to his feet and holds his hand out to me. I take it as I stand. He drops my hand as soon as I'm stood up and we walk side by side to the till and he pulls out his card to pay. We start out to the parking lot and he walks so fast, I almost have to run to keep up with him. When we reach his car, he bends down to open my door. As he stands back up, he almost knocks me over. I grab on to the car door for stability. He sees me falling and grabs my legs as he is still bent over. He tries to catch me, but instead he just pulls me over forward instead of backwards. My heart rate is through the roof. I thought I was going to land straight on my face, which would mean I would have to pull out of tomorrow. Instead, I find myself squashed against his body.

  My bust is almost popping out of my top in his face. I flush, remembering our conversation at the table and try to pull back up to my feet. His grip gets tighter and as I look at him, he asks if I’m alright. I nod and try to stand up again. He won’t let me. He just looks at me and laughs, so I end up laughing with him, a nervous laugh on my part. He then stops laughing and puts his forehead to mine. My heart is in my mouth, I know what is coming. I know I should stop him, but I have wanted this since the meeting.

  I am still pressed against his body, I have now stopped laughing. He is looking at me, his eyes shining, even though the closest light is the other end of the car park. I can’t resist. He has beautiful, captivating eyes. My eyes are automatically drawn to his. We stare at each other for a minute, then he closes his eyes and leans forward. Before I know it, his lips are on mine. He is kissing me and in a moment of madness, I am kissing him back. His lips are strong and soft, but he isn’t taking any prisoners. I let his tongue over take my mouth. I am kissing him back with equal measure. He tastes amazing. Steak and Donte, hmm, yes, perfect.

  I suddenly realize what I am doing. I push him away; I can’t do this. He is my boss, due to be getting married soon. I stand up and he looks at me. I turn away and sit in the car. I put my belt on as he walks to the other side of the car. As he climbs in, I angle my body away from him, so I don’t have to look at him. I keep my head down the whole ride back to our hotel going over what has just happened. I cannot believe I was that foolish. It started as harmless flirting and now I have risked everything. When he pulls up in front, I jump out the car before he parks it and run to the entrance. Donte whips into a parking space and catches up to me as I wait for the elevator.

  “Izzy wait, please. Izzy!” he shouts as the doors open. He walks in the elevator and I walk back out. I start walking towards the bar.

  “Isabella, will you please wait?” I carry on, walking like I don’t hear him.

  “Can I order a double vodka, lime and soda please?” I say to the guy behind the bar.

  “Add a Fosters to that, please,” Donte says. “Isabella, will you listen to me please?”

  “What are you playing at? You’re engaged, so you shouldn’t be kissing me!”

  “I'm sorry, I swear. You are a beautiful woman and I have dreamed of doing that since you walked into my office. You can’t say you don’t feel the same. I felt it in the kiss. You want me as much as I want you.”

  “You’re my boss, for goodness sake. And what about Amanda? I can’t do this. Please

  just leave me alone!” My anger is starting to build. I’m mad because...he’s right. I do feel the same

  “ We’re in the same hotel room, you can’t avoid me”

  “Donte, plea....” and his lips are on mine once more. I try not to respond, but it’s impossible. I want him, I have since I walked in his office. This time I let go, really let go. I kiss him with all I have. My hands go to his chest, not to push him away, but to feel how he feels under his shirt. He feels like a hard wall of muscle, toned and picture perfect. He grabs my hand and we leave the bar without even getting our drinks. We make our way back to the elevator. Once inside the elevator, his lips are on mine again. The elevator comes to a stop, and Donte lifts me in his arms and walks to our door. I give of a little scream of surprise. He doesn’t put me down to open the door, he just fights with the key. He finally manages to get the door open and he carries me to his room. He puts me on the bed and gives me a quick kiss, then shuts the door and curtains. He comes back to me and takes my wrap off and throws it on the ground. He lies beside me and kisses me once more. Reality smacks me straight in the face. I shouldn’t be doing this. It’s wrong on every level possible. I sit up, and he sits up, too.

  “ Donte, I can’t do this. Please, don’t let me do this.”

  He runs his hand down my neck and says, “Izzy, please don’t overthink this.”

  “Overthink this?” I shout at him. “You’re in a relationship, how can I not overthink this?”

  “I go to bed every night and dream about you. I come to work every day, excited I'm going to see you again. What Amanda and I have has never felt as good as this.”

  Tears fill my eyes. “This is so hard because I...I think I'm falling for you. You’re going to have fun, then go home to Amanda and forget all about me,” I say as tears roll down my cheeks. Why the hell am I crying? I've known this man about
two weeks and don’t even spend much time with him. But reality is, I've thought of nothing else since I walked in his office the first time.

  Chapter 8

  “Look, Isabella. Just forget about everyone else tonight. I want you as much as you want me. Please, stop fighting me.” he says, touching my face. My mind goes blank and I kiss him. I push my tongue in his mouth, giving all I have. He is correct, of course. I have wanted his lips on mine since I first laid my eyes on him. He starts kissing me back and pushes me back on the bed, his hands go up to my breasts. I start to panic.

  “Please, don’t do this. Just hold me. I don’t want to feel like you used me for sex. Please, if you’re serious, you will take this slow.”

  “Izzy, I will wait a lifetime if I have to. Just don’t run, please,” he kisses me quickly on my lips and cuddles me. I am still in my clothes, but I don’t care. I fall asleep in his arms.