“He gets vacations.” Parker had told her as if she were the child and he the adult. “He’ll come back. It’s his house. Besides, he promised to finish my tree house. That was the deal, and he still hasn’t put the windows in and the door, and even a skylight cut in the tin roof. It’s gonna be awesome, and he’s going to hang out in there with me and eat cookies.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun, and I’m sure you’d both enjoy that, but that may not happen, Parker.”
“Yes it will. He promised.” Parker’s jaw was tight like it got when he was stubborn. “He promised that we would sit up there together and eat cookies and have hot cocoa with whipped cream.”
Talon swallowed her tears.
She pulled into the long, winding driveway and drove slowly up to the house. Usually, she was so happy to get home. She’d thought of it as home almost from the moment she and Parker had moved in. Now she dreaded it. It would remind her of Colt. All the places they’d made crazy, desperate love and longer, tender love. And the meals they’d cooked. How he was such an organized neat freak who’d forced her and Parker to raise their home cleaning skills.
“There’s Colt.” Parker jumped out of the car before she’d come to a complete stop and Parker raced across the space and threw himself against Colt, who one arm hugged him while holding something else above his head.
“Mom said you have to go away tomorrow.” Parker’s voice was muffled against the Colt’s clothing. “I don’t want you to go, but I know you’re going to be brave and serve our country so I’m going to be brave, too.”
He slid down Colt and slipped his hand into his so confidently.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get the tree house finished, but we can finish it when you come back and drink hot chocolate and eat cookies inside just like you promised.”
“Hope you’re hungry,” Colt said, lowering the plate. “Because I have a thermos full of cocoa and a plate of cookies. Thought we’d have a picnic in your tree house to send me off.”
“Yeah!” Parker fist bumped Colt and then ran to the mud room to grab his head lamp that Colt had picked up for him one day at Big Z’s where Colt seemed to have been spending even more time in the past week. “I’m ready. C’mon, Colt. Mom you come, too.”
Talon had a hard time moving her feet because she remembered that Colt had said he never said anything he didn’t mean, and he never promised something he couldn’t deliver, and he had promised her sweet, trusting, loving boy cookies and cocoa in the tree house, and he was delivering that promise. But not to return.
Chapter Seventeen
Talon brushed her teeth and stared at her queen-size bed that was going to feel lonelier even though Colt had never stayed in it with her. They’d always been at the cabin. It was strange. She’d known Colt was leaving, but like other moments she’d dreaded in her life, she’d managed to push his looming departure out of her mind. And here it was. She pulled at the snaps at her shirt, remembering how Colt had ripped it open this afternoon. She kicked off her jeans, and tossed them along with her shirt into the laundry basket like she was shooting hoops.
She went to the dresser to pull out something to sleep in and saw the khaki t-shirt she’d pulled off Colt the other afternoon when they’d been so frantic for each other because they only had half an hour before she was due to meet Noah at a ranch west of town. She tugged it out and pulled it over her naked body, reveling in his scent and the soft cotton.
She stared again at her bed. This was so stupid. She could have one more night with Colt. Instead, she was spending it alone feeling miserable. One more night was one more night, one more memory. Not even bothering to check the mirror, Talon slid her feet in her cowboy boots and grabbed a flashlight and a long goose down parka, because spring evenings were still chilly, and left the house. She took a moment to tilt back her head and savor the explosion of stars across the night sky; much like the three of them had done on the deck of the tree house tonight after Colt had showed Parker all the bells and whistles he’d added.
She took in a deep breath of air, fragrant with pine, grass, and the early blooming Daphne she’d planted in a few old half wine barrels she’d found in the barn a little over a month ago and then hurried along the path through the trees towards the cabin a few hundred yards away. Women were allowed to change their mind, she told herself. She only hoped Colt didn’t say no.
*
Colt looked around the one room cabin with the large loft where he’d been sleeping on a king-size bed Talon had set up for him. The cabin was surprisingly cozy with a large fireplace, open-beamed ceiling, and a full kitchen, eating nook, and great room. Hard to believe that a group of high school students in Livingston and Marietta had refurbished the cabin with the help of the vocational teachers at both schools and with some donated and sold at cost materials from Big Z’s. Paul Zabrinsky was really building up his family’s hardware store business and had weathered the threats of the big but generic box stores that were threatening so many small town main streets and family businesses.
His kit was packed. The cabin was clean. Everything was set. Except him. He missed Talon. He missed Parker. He missed Dude. He’d left him at the main house in Parker’s room.
Colt pulled out the cube Talon had returned to him and turned it over and over in his hand. Blew out a breath. He’d thought he’d be relieved to get out of town, whether or not he decided to reenlist. But Talon and Parker had buried the ghosts he thought would haunt him here. Instead, he had memories of feeling part of something bigger and better than himself. He’d felt part of a family. The military had given him that somewhat, but with Talon and Parker, he’d felt he finally belonged somewhere. Building the tree house, planning it out with Parker, and teaching him how to use the tools, working with Paul and some of the other builders to learn how to do something had shown him that he could make a different life for himself. One that would challenge him and he could learn to excel at.
So why hadn’t he told Talon he wanted to come back? She’d wanted a promise. He’d lived with too many broken promises to make any, but did he want to come back? To try and work construction or ranching again? To try and be a husband and father? He’d never imagined himself in either role and still wasn’t sure he could pull it off. Talon thought he could. Her optimism in the face of a life that had been so difficult filled him with awe and respect. Whereas he had become angry and cold, she’d become accepting and determined. Her heartbroken insistence today that all a relationship took was committing to try one day at a time had really started him thinking.
He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. But he had. And wasn’t that why he’d always steered clear of relationships? Women wanted connection. He was incapable of that, but Talon and Parker were the closest he had ever come.
There was a tentative knock on the door. He swung it open not quite believing that his brooding over Talon hadn’t inspired his imagination, but no, there she was, hair curling around her face and shoulders.
“Hi.” Her voice was tentative and she shrugged out of her black jacket and stood before him only in his shirt she’d offered to wash for him a few days ago.
“I wanted to return your shirt.” She pulled it over her head. Her smooth, pale skin, gleamed in the light as she held out the shirt.
He closed the distance between them, taking her tenderly in his arms. “It’s definitely my favorite shirt now,” he said, already hard, but wishing he could put his needs last and just hold and comfort her. “But it looks better on you.”
Her hands smoothed under his flannel shirt, untucking the Henley beneath to explore his bare skin. She sighed and laid her head against his chest.
“Can a woman change her mind about tonight?” she whispered.
“Always.”
He picked up her coat and slid her arms back into the sleeves.
“You’ll have to wrestle the shirt back from me.” He warned.
“I’m pretty slippery.”
He zipped her back into the coat and b
riefly held her close, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. “I noticed.”
He picked up his backpack and kit, tucking the cube in one of the zippered pockets and locked up, handed her the keys.
“Are you sure you want to go back to the main house?” she asked.
He nodded. One more dragon to slay. He walked beside her, watching how she tilted her head back to stare at the stars. He loved the long line of her throat, the determined thrust of her chin and the soft pillow of her lips that had brought him such pleasure so many times.
“I was thinking while I was walking over here that the stars will be different where you are, the constellations, but I hope you will still get a chance to look up at the sky at night and think about our big sky here, and I hope you can think of it a little bit as home.”
He slid his arm around her waist to pull her closer. He wished he could tell her that she felt like home to him, but it was too soon, and it could mean something to her that he wasn’t sure he could deliver. He still wasn’t convinced he could be the man she thought he was, the man that now that he’d had a glimpse of, he wanted to be.
Once in her house, he followed her to her room. They quickly checked on Parker. He quietly put something on Parker’s pillow and then, hands linked, they returned to her room. He’d expected it to bother him; but instead, all he could feel and think about was Talon. He took her coat off and kissed her lips. Let his fingers tangle in her hair. This afternoon, he’d been so desperate to be inside her. Now he wanted to take his time. Remember the sounds she made when she was nearing orgasm; watch her expressive face when she went over the edge.
“Take a shower with me,” he murmured against her lips. “I was working almost until you and Parker came home.”
“And you still managed to bake cookies.”
He laughed. “I cheated and bought those at the bakery, and there might be something from Sage’s Chocolates I might leave on your pillow later.”
“If it’s hot fudge, I want it now, so I can lick it off your body.”
“Damn. Hindsight’s a bitch.”
She laughed and knelt at his feet, untied his boots, which he kicked off. Then she unbuttoned his pants, and her fingers walked down his body pulling his clothes off, and her lips followed her hands.
“One shower coming up,” she said and, taking his hand, led him into her bathroom where she soaped up his body and massaged him while he braced himself against the tile on his forearm and let her have her way with him. Her magic hands left nothing unexplored and before the water began to cool, she pressed herself against his back and teased his erection to the point of bursting several times and then backed off again. This time, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed light kisses down his spine.
He shivered and ached for more, loving the feeling of her small firm breasts pressed against his back.
“I’m going to miss you, Colt.”
He turned around and cupped her breasts, played with her nipples with his thumbs. There was so much he wanted to say, probably could have said if he were a different man, a better man. Instead, he turned off the water, gently toweled her dry, and took her to bed, taking his time with her quivering, responsive body, and when he leveraged himself above her after long, leisured kissing and stroking, he entered the slick heat of her body, feeling more intensely connected to anything and anyone is his life. She clung to his arms, fingers digging in as he moved reverently in her.
“Are you okay?”
“Better than that.” His eyes held hers as he wanted to read and remember every nuance of her expression.
He built the heat between them slowly until Talon was restless beneath him, trying to urge him to a faster pace. He held himself up with one arm so he could slip his other hand between her legs. Talon cried out as he found her sweet spot and began to stroke her, varying the rhythm to drive her crazy. He bent closer so he could kiss her lips, stroke in and out of her mouth like he was doing to her body. She trembled beneath him and he loved how the sweat broke out on her like it did on him.
“You’re so strong,” she said against his mouth. “I love that so much.”
Her hands were frenzied on his shoulders and back, tracing the muscles, gripping him, trying to move him faster, but he controlled the build so Talon cupped his balls and massaged and squeezed a little, eliciting a low moan from him and a curse as he began to lose control.
“Witch.”
She arched up and he thrust into with more power, causing her to hiss “yes,” timed with each thrust. He tried to hold himself back, not wanting it to be over, but watching himself glide in and out of Talon was one erotic ride.
“Keep your eyes open. I want to watch you go over the edge.” He grit out and Talon, her eyes hazy with desire and skin flushed, obediently looked at him.
“I love you,” she whispered, cupping his cheek.
It should have been a buzzkill, terrify him to his toes. Instead, he kissed her, captured her words, and managed to pull away just in time to watch her body convulse in orgasm seconds before he joined her.
“Talon.” He lay on top of her, bracing himself a little so she didn’t take his whole weight. “It’s not that I don’t want to try,” he said. “I’m just not the man you think I am.”
Her hands cupped his face. “You are the best man I’ve ever met.” She kissed him. “The best. You are kind and responsible and respectful and everything I…”
“I’ve killed people, Talon.”
She sat up. “I know.” Her voice was soft. “You’re a soldier.”
“A lot of people.”
She looked at him and he wasn’t sure what she saw.
“It was your job, Colt. You were following orders.”
“I had a choice.” He tried to put some space between them but she sat up further, pressing her bare chest against his back, and he didn’t have the willpower to pull away. She felt so perfect, made him feel whole in a way he hadn’t before.
“I joined the army to get away from my…uncle,” he said the word even though what he’d learned from the attorney and the will put everything he’d believed in doubt. “And I scored off the charts on shooting. I shot a lot at targets as a kid. It was the one thing I could do with my uncle that didn’t cause problems, but I couldn’t bring myself to kill an animal like that until…”
She wrapped her arms around him more tightly. Kissed her way up the trunk of the juniper tree on his back.
“I liked the challenge, Talon. I loved finally being good at something. Fitting in. Being needed.”
She smiled. “It was a job, Colt. Not who you are.”
“Do you know what they call me? I got a nickname. Other rangers think it’s cool. They want to be like me. Like I’m some sort of legend.”
He forced himself to turn and face her. Her sweet smile would have broken his heart if he had one.
“I think a lot of men get nicknames. You probably had one for football. Still, isn’t who you are in here.” She touched his chest and laced his fingers in hers and kissed his hand.
“I want you to know.”
She didn’t let go of his hand. “Okay, tell me.”
And then he found he couldn’t say the word out loud in this bed that had become almost a sacred space for him. A place where he had loved a woman as much as he had ever imagined possible and beyond. And still she hadn’t rejected him. She hadn’t judged him once.
He leaned forward and whispered the word in her ear.
“That sounds like a stupid video game avatar,” she said in disgust. “They should show more respect. It’s not a game, what you do.”
And then she climbed up on his lap and wrapped herself around him, laid her head on his shoulder, and, after a beat of surprise, he held her back.
“Are you afraid of me now?” He asked after a long time.
“You’re still you. You’re not some juvenile testosterone-fueled teenage videogame fantasy, stalking homicidal maniac, shooting people indiscriminately. Slayer, my a
ss.”
Colt pulled back and stared at her in disbelief. It was the first time he had heard her even remotely swear, but her eyes were sparkling with indignation.
“I’m glad you told me,” she said, curling back down on the bed and tugging him to join her. He lay on his back and she tucked her leg over him. “But I think it’s a stupid name. You have an important job. You take it seriously like you take everything. You respect your job, and what you need to do, and the other soldiers should respect you and your skills and the unfortunate fact that there are lives you have to take to keep others safe.”
“It’s not a lack of respect,” he said, still reeling at her response. He thought she’d be repulsed. Frightened. Not want him around Parker.
She saved lives. She wanted to be a vet and have an animal sanctuary where both animals and people who volunteered could heal. And he had taken many lives. And most likely would again.
“You have an early flight,” she said, nestling into him more deeply, her head on his chest now. He played with her hair. “You should get some sleep.”
He smiled as she hit a remote that took the dimmer on the light all the way down so the room was dark, the moonlight wouldn’t come until later, as dawn approached. “Not that easy to sleep with a naked woman in my arms.”
“You don’t have to sleep.” She invited. “I just said you should.”
He sighed, feeling more content that he had in a long time. He hadn’t wanted to tell her at first, and then he’d thought there’d be no reason, but he’d kept so much back from everyone for so long, that he’d wanted to share this piece of himself with her. Maybe she was right. It was just a piece of him. Not the whole of him.
“Was it hard to do?” she asked in the darkness.
“There’s a lot of learn,” he said, thinking of the weapons, and working with his spotter, and adjusting for wind and other factors and the knife-edge of waiting. The focus had come naturally. The drive for absolute precision, for perfection had been instilled in him at the ranch the hard way. The only thing good to come out of his childhood.
Seducing the Bachelor (The Bachelor Auction Returns Book 3) Page 16