Better With You

by Ellen Joy

  “I never meant to have things turn out the way that they did.”

  He stared out the windshield. The curve of his baseball cap shielded his eyes. “You didn’t take very long to figure things out, did you?”

  His words stung.

  “I guess you never really know someone,” he said, still facing away from her, but she could see fire in his eyes. “Like Adam Cahill. Did he tell you about the woman he had dinner with the night of the Blessing? You know, before he went and saw you?”

  Elizabeth took a step back, feeling the spite in Dan’s tone. What was he saying? That Adam was out with a woman the night of the festival? Not at a business meeting?

  “I should probably head to work.”

  She turned away as quickly as possible, holding back her emotions and walking down the road before the whole clientele of the diner saw how upset she was. She didn’t look back, but heard the engine of his truck turn over and rumble behind her, then fade into the distance. His words repeated inside her head along with all her doubts and worries. Who was Adam with that night?

  ADAM DROPPED LUCY OFF at school and drove the long way home to avoid going by the veterinarian clinic. With his luck, Elizabeth would be standing outside and see him drive by, looking for her again, and see that he was absolutely crazy for her.

  Along the way, his mind shifted from the night before with Elizabeth, to what the investigator had to say. Michelle wasn’t willing to make a deal. The investigator believed she might make a counteroffer and that freaked him out. The temporary custody agreement haunted him.

  When he returned home, he called his financial advisor from his truck. He asked about the penalties he could get if he were to liquidate some of his assets. He’d give Michelle every last penny, if that meant Lucy would stay with him.

  Lucy rarely brought up the years she had spent with Michelle, but he knew it must have been bad because of the side effects. How she couldn’t sleep through the night for over a year because of the nightmares. How she never fully trusted that he’d come back from anywhere. How she always thought he’d break his promises, even though he never had. Her therapist believed it was just neglect, but Adam was convinced that Lucy protected Michelle. He believed life with her mother was much worse than she let anyone know.

  He rubbed his face with both hands and kicked his truck’s door open as his phone rang. His father’s number. He ignored it at first, not wanting to talk about it, but grabbed it right before it went to voicemail.

  “Good, I caught you,” his father said.

  “What’s up?” Adam asked, acting casual.

  “I just ran into Judge Warren last night at an event with your mother.”

  “That’s nice.” He wasn’t sure where he was going with this.

  “It was a nice little event in Cambridge,” he rambled.

  “Dad, is there a point?” Adam asked, jumping out of the truck. “I got to get going.”

  “He told me custody cases these days don’t always favor the mother like they used to.”

  Adam stopped in his tracks. “What else did he say?”

  “Many times, custodial rights often go to the father.”

  “But I’m not the father.” Adam loved his dad’s efforts, but this wasn’t helping. “I’m not even related to her.”

  “You are to that little girl,” his father said. “He also said with her addictions, along with the fact she abandoned Lucy, that you shouldn’t have any trouble getting custody.”

  “I don’t want to have to go to court. That’s the last resort.”

  “Just don’t give her your money,” his father told him.

  “Dad, stop.”

  “What do you think she’ll do with it?” he asked, but it was rhetorical.

  It was a valid point. Michelle had burned through her own inheritance he heard. Her trust funds spent partying with people she didn’t even really know. Buying things she probably didn’t even have anymore.

  “I don’t know.”

  “She’s going to blow through it and ask for more. It’s never going to stop until you have nothing.”

  His father may be willing to risk everything, but Adam wasn’t. “I don’t want to leave it up to the courts to decide. No way. Lucy would have to get involved and I don’t want to put her through even more.”

  “Have you thought about talking to Michelle?”

  “Do you think I’d go through all of this if she’d talk to me?”

  “No, I suppose not.” His clicked his tongue a few times. “I’d at least keep trying.”

  “I’ve never stopped.”

  Adam said goodbye and stood in front of the front porch, the farm buzzing around him. Instead of going inside, he headed toward the entrance of the barn. The smell of fresh hay and animal had been such a pungent smell a year ago, but suddenly lured him in. He walked through the middle bay, grabbing some fresh hay and straight to the pasture, where Lucy brought Anastasia.

  He leaned against the railing and watched the horse as she ate fresh sprigs of grass. The mare shined in the sun now that she was getting a proper diet. Her anxiety seemed to be lessening and her trust slowly building, especially with Lucy. The two seemed to understand each other. Anastasia would follow Lucy around the pasture walking behind her as she walked aimlessly around the fields.

  Before, he’d never really been alone. Living in the city, he never had to be alone. He’d have breakfast at coffee shops, and lunch at a deli. Dinners were with friends, or clients, or he’d visit his parents. It wasn’t until he moved out to the farm that he appreciated solitude. How quietly observing what was around him calmed him and put a lot of his troubles into perspective.

  Maybe Michelle wanted what’s best for Lucy, too. Maybe it wouldn’t have to be a fight. Maybe she didn’t even want Lucy at all.

  He clicked his tongue twice and Anastasia’s head poked up from the grass. She slowly meandered toward Adam, her feet pounding the ground from her massive body. She walked up to him, inspecting him, looking for food. He reached out his hand toward her with the hay. She stood far enough away from him she could run, but close enough to lean out her neck. She grabbed the hay, and pulled it out of his hands with her large lips. When the hay was finished, she looked up at him, waiting for more. She knew he had a treat.

  “Fine.” He pulled the baby carrots from his pocket and held out his hand. She had to move closer to him. With another step, Anastasia nibbled the carrots out of his hand. It was the closest she’d even been with him. As she chewed, he slowly moved his hand toward her neck. Her skin flinched with his touch at first, but she didn’t move. He kept rubbing his hand slowly and softly. The mare stepped forward, but not away from his touch, but so she could inspect for more carrots, and he continued to rub her coat.

  Suddenly, his hand bounced up from her belly. He could see the foal actually moving inside.

  “I bet you wouldn’t want your foal taken away from you,” he said aloud, though he wasn’t thinking of the foal at all. From his perspective, life was better without Michelle. He had to imagine that’s what Lucy felt. Keeping Michelle away made Lucy’s life better. Right?

  But he really didn’t know.

  ELIZABETH LOOKED AT the phone and saw Adam’s text flash up as she pulled away from her grandmother’s house. She hadn’t texted him back since that morning, since seeing Dan. This was his second.

  What are you doing tonight? It read.

  She pulled to the side of the road and put the car in park. What was she doing? Going home to Joan and her pathetic life, according to her sister. Or, she could go after the sexy hot attorney with a very mysterious past. She banged her head against the headrest and let out a moan as she texted him back.

  ADAM WASN’T SURE HOW to take the text Elizabeth sent him.

  Can we talk, privately?

  Was she breaking it off? Was last night a regret? Had he done something wrong?

  His stomach twisted as he waited by the door. He’d meet her out in the driveway. Lucy had alr
eady gone to bed. Hopefully, the visit wouldn’t wake her. Hopefully, Lucy would see Elizabeth again.

  When she pulled up, she gave him a small smile, but he could tell the heat from the previous night had cooled.

  “Hey,” he tried to give a big smile, covering up his anxiety racing inside. He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, but her reception was cool, if anything.

  “Hey.”

  “What’s going on?” he asked.

  She looked up to Lucy’s window and stayed where she stood. “You don’t have to answer this, because it’s really none of my business, but did you have a date the other night?”

  The image of Dan standing outside the diner flashed in his head. “No, I met someone to discuss some business of mine.”

  “So, it was a business meeting, not a date?”

  “No, not at all.” He shook his head. He might as well be honest. “It was about Lucy’s mother, Michelle.”

  “You met with Michelle?” She folded her arms across her chest as if she had a chill.

  He shook his head. “No, I met about Michelle.”

  “Oh.”

  He could tell her thoughts were racing. Michelle somehow always seemed to get involved in his life in some way.

  “She’s been gone, but I recently heard she’s in Boston,” he said. “That’s why I had the meeting with the private investigator. I want to find Michelle and ask for full parental custody.”

  “You mean you don’t have custody now?” Elizabeth looked concerned.

  “Only temporary, until Michelle wants her back, basically.”

  “What’s going to happen?”

  “I’m not sure.” He wasn’t. That was the truth, and that’s what kept him up at night. His heart pounded just thinking about the possibility of Michelle taking Lucy back. No, he wouldn’t let that happen. He’d do anything to make sure that didn’t happen. “The truth is I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Are you sure you want all these complications in your life?”

  Elizabeth took his hand, stepping closer to him. She looked up, her green eyes determined. “Yes.”

  “My life is completely crazy, and I can’t afford to lose another person who’s special to Lucy.”

  “Dinner. You, me, and Lucy. Tomorrow, my place. At six. Don’t be late.”

  Sixteen

  The next day flew by with vaccinations and annual checkups, but not a second went by that Elizabeth didn’t think of Adam and Lucy. She mentioned the dinner in front of her mother and uncles that morning. By five o’clock, Margie walked into her office with a platter of food delivered from The Fish Market, topped with a pastry box from her uncles’ bakery.

  “Quite a meal for just yourself.” Margie dug, placing the carryout boxes on her desk.

  Elizabeth tried to hide her smile, but didn’t try too hard. “I’m having guests for dinner tonight, and I wanted more than meat and potatoes.”

  Elizabeth winked at Margie and her assistant let out a hoot. With her eyebrows raised, she said, “Well, I’m glad your uncles didn’t stint on dessert. My Gerald always loves to be surprised by dessert.” She winked back.

  “All right, Margie.” Elizabeth quickly grabbed her things, before Margie disclosed more about Gerald. She grabbed the food and said, “Well, I better get going.”

  She walked out of her office, but Margie stayed on her tail.

  “You should wear something that highlights your wonderful waistline, maybe a low-cut lined dress or blouse,” Margie continued.

  “Good night, Margie.” Elizabeth turned for the door. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

  She left the office, waving to Mr. Belanger and his German Shepard, Tucker. Adam and Lucy would be at her place in less than an hour, and she still had to prepare a salad and set the table before they came.

  She stormed through the house, setting the food on the kitchen counter and turning on the oven. She refilled Joan’s water and dumped a whole can of food in her bowl, then grabbed a pair of scissors and headed out the back door. The lupine had bloomed early this year, bordering Elizabeth’s back fence in pink, white, and purple hues. She picked some of each color along with a few hosta leaves, and brought them inside, arranging them in a vase that her grandmother had given her. She set the table with folded linen napkins and her best china, inherited from her great aunt. The silver was a housewarming gift from her uncles, mismatched antiques from different sets. She had never used them until now. In fact, she hadn’t really entertained since she had moved back from Boston.

  A quick look in the mirror and a splash of cold water, and she went straight back to the kitchen to check on the food when the doorbell rang. Her stomach fluttered as she saw Lucy peeking into the window with Adam behind her.

  She swung open the door. Her hair swung behind her. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” He stood on the front stoop, holding a basket. He was about to say something when Lucy rushed through the door and into her arms.

  “Hi, Dr. Elizabeth!”

  Joan came down the stairs, stopping on the last step and rubbing her body against the banister before stepping onto the floor. Her tail lifted playfully as Lucy bent and held out her hand. Joan leaned in to sniff, then rubbed the offered fingers with her face. She let out a hushed meow as the girl rubbed the back of her ear.

  “I’d say you found a friend, Lu,” Adam said, stepping toward Elizabeth. Lucy sat down on the floor, petting Joan as she dropped to the floor on her side, offering up her belly.

  Adam handed Elizabeth the basket, then kissed her on the cheek. In her ear, he whispered, “I couldn’t wait to see you.”

  The butterflies in Elizabeth’s stomach made her feel dizzy and out of breath at the same time. She whispered back, “Me, too.” Then in a normal voice she said, “Please, come in.”

  She rolled her eyes at herself as Adam walked into her living room, glancing around curiously.

  “This place is really great.” He stepped around the coffee table toward the fireplace. She had worked on it for months. She found a long plank of wood washed up on the beach one day, with rusted-out nails with heads the size of grapes.

  She watched from the other side of the room as he looked at her photographs. They were mostly of her family, but some of her life in the city, her friends and roommates. “How long did you live in the city?”

  “Almost ten years.” She wondered if they had ever crossed paths somehow. No, probably not, she’d remember his eyes for sure.

  “Well, are you going to look inside?” He nodded at the basket.

  “Oh, right,” she said. Suddenly Lucy was by her side.

  “Open it.”

  She placed the basket on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. She looked inside at an assortment of homemade delights. Inside, there was a jar of maple syrup with a box of chocolate fudge, wrapped in wax paper. A bottle of white chardonnay sat behind a book of the history of farming in Maine. She pulled out the hardcover book and a musky scent filled the air when she opened its cover.

  “Check out page 112.”

  She flipped the pages until she saw the familiar farm. A black and white photograph of Smith Sanborn Farm, circa 1946. It looked exactly the same.

  “Where did you find this?” She studied the photograph, partially recognizing the life before her time. “Mrs. Sanborn told me all the tales of the Sanborn farm. Potatoes were their main crop, but before that, she said her husband’s grandfather was mostly a dairy farmer, planting crops just to feed the family.”

  “A woman down at town hall told me about it, and I happened to stumble across it one day at the bookstore in town.” He flipped the page again, and Elizabeth saw pastures and fields. Unlike modern times, it was a working farm, the fields cleared of hay and farmed with rows of planted potatoes.

  “This is incredible.” Elizabeth was transfixed. Flipping over the next page, she was disappointed to find a different property. “There’s a lot of history in that farm.”

  Adam nodded, stepping back, keeping his eyes
on her. “I thought if there was anyone who may appreciate the book it would definitely be you.”

  As his eyes held hers, she could feel her body temperature rising and she tried to remind herself that Lucy sat on the floor, petting Joan, just a few feet away. She looked toward the kitchen. “Let’s go outside. I have a couple games set up in the back yard.”

  Joan meandered behind them as they walked through the kitchen and outside. A croquette set sat next to the small table with cheese and crackers.

  “Your garden’s really nice.” He walked around, checking out her flower beds. “I just started to get into gardening.”

  “I can see why. Mrs. Sanborn’s gardens were quite beautiful.”

  “Let’s set up,” Lucy said, pulling out a mallet. “Red goes first.”

  Lucy swung the mallet above her head and Adam said, “Whoa! Watch what you’re doing, Lu.”

  She nailed the ball right away, moving through the first two wickets.

  Adam ended up winning the game with Lucy in a close second.

  “I don’t even know where I meant to go with that one.” Elizabeth shifted her stance as she hit the ball through the last few spots. “Do I really have to finish my turn?”

  Lucy nodded. “Everyone has to finish.”

  Elizabeth dropped the mallet as she heard the beep from the timer go off inside. “How about dinner instead?”

  “No, you have to finish.”

  Elizabeth went to grab her mallet when Adam said, “No, Lu, it’s time for dinner.”

  Lucy made a face and Adam made one back. They blinked at each other, hard, short blinks. Elizabeth wondered what she was missing.

  “Let’s go inside.” Elizabeth picked up her ball and put it back on the rack.

  Adam’s chardonnay paired perfectly with the shrimp scampi Elizabeth got from the restaurant. By the time she brought out dessert, Lucy’s had forgotten about the game and now focused on the chocolate chip cannoli.

  “This is delicious,” Adam mumbled through his napkin.