by Ellen Joy
“Hey,” he whispered as she got up from the chair. She acted as though she shouldn’t have been in there. Which made him think of her triggers—guilt drove her to all sorts of ways to self-medicate.
“Hey,” she whispered back, as Lucy slept soundly across the room.
They both stepped into the hall, and Michelle closed the door behind her. “I just was...” She looked down as she spoke. “I just wanted to be close, you know.”
He nodded. He did know. He almost reached out to hold her, give her comfort, but he resisted.
“You look terrible,” she said, holding her elbows cupped in her hands. “I could stay in the barn. Lord knows, that’s where I deserve to sleep.”
He ignored her self-pity and shook his head. “I’m fine out there.”
“I can get Lucy ready, and you can go and take a nap.” Dark circles framed her eyes, as well. He shook his head. “I can whip up some pancakes,” she said. “I saw a box in the pantry.”
He knew she was only trying to be helpful, but the more she offered, the more it irritated him.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
He almost came back with a snide comment, but didn’t have the energy. “Nope, I’m good.”
She looked him over. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
He let out a long sigh, surrendering to the situation and turned to go into Lucy’s room to wake her up. “I’m fine.”
ELIZABETH LOOKED OUT the window, waiting for her next appointment. Mrs. Gray was due to show up with her three Doberman pinschers for their annual checkup. As Margie talked on the phone, making appointment reminder calls, she stared out the window at the cars driving by on Main Street.
The more she tried to forget about Adam, the more she thought about him and Lucy. Had their lives moved on without her? Were they one happy family now, with Michelle back? Was this what he had always waited for, and Elizabeth was just a distraction?
Just as her thoughts started twisting her stomach, she saw a familiar white sports car drive into the parking lot. There was no mistake who sat behind the wheel. Michelle stepped out and walked up to the clinic. Her outfit reminded Elizabeth of the wealthy summer cottage owners, who had the most expensive houses on the sea, yet rarely used them.
Michelle swept back her hair with her sunglasses, resting them on her the top of her head, and looked up at Elizabeth, standing frozen behind the counter.
“Hello, Dr. Elizabeth,” Michelle said. “I wonder if you could spare a moment of your time?”
Margie suddenly stopped her conversation on the phone and watched the two women standing there as Michelle waited for Elizabeth to respond.
“Um, sure.” Elizabeth made sure not to look at Margie while trying to sound natural, like her stomach wasn’t climbing up her throat. “Let’s talk in my office.”
Elizabeth turned around without waiting for an answer. She couldn’t believe Michelle had come to see her. What was she doing here? Elizabeth turned around to see if she was really walking behind her, and Michelle gave her a quick smile. She could also see Margie’s head poking out from around the corner. She opened the door, ushering Michelle inside. “Please take a seat.”
As Michelle walked in, Elizabeth closed the door and waved the curious Margie away. She took in a deep breath, gathering herself together before stepping inside She almost didn’t want to know why the woman was here. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before she showed up.
As she opened the door, Michelle faced front of her desk.
“Thanks for seeing me,” she said.
Elizabeth pulled her desk chair out beside Michelle. She tried to think of all the things Michelle could want to talk about.
“How can I help you?” Elizabeth asked, in her cheeriest voice. Maybe Michelle had a veterinarian question, or maybe she wanted to tell Elizabeth to step back. It was a fifty-fifty shot.
“Look, Adam doesn’t know I’m here,” Michelle confessed. “But I thought you deserved to know the truth.” Michelle looked down at her hands. “Which is that I’m an addict. A very recently recovering addict. And, unfortunately, Adam has been along for the whole ride.”
Elizabeth understood addiction from a medical standpoint, but Michelle clearly wasn’t telling her because she was a vet. So she waited.
From a distance, Michelle looked put together. Her hair styled, her clothes the newest fashion, her makeup done. Her beauty undeniable. She didn’t look like an addict. But Michelle’s tall frame appeared frail and bony. Her eyes set deep within dark circles. Elizabeth could see how hard Michelle had been on her body. The distant woman in the photograph was even more withdrawn up close.
“I’ve been a mess from the beginning, and Adam always promised to take care of me.” She smiled a little as her eyes filled with sadness. She reminded Elizabeth of Lucy right then. Completely vulnerable. “And Adam, if you haven’t noticed, is the kind of guy who always keeps a promise. He’s helped me more times than I can count, and I know I don’t deserve any of it, but he and Lucy are all I have.”
Elizabeth listened as Michelle talked. Adam had told her about the addiction. How Lucy hardly remembered it. When she heard what Michelle had done, Elizabeth couldn’t comprehend how Lucy’s mother could just leave her own daughter. Something that was unthinkable to Elizabeth. But sitting there, seeing the pain in Michelle’s eyes, she could see the woman was living in hell. Demons were fighting inside her.
“I’ll always love him,” Michelle confessed, and it threw Elizabeth off balance.
Elizabeth almost blurted out the questions rolling inside her head. Did she want her family back? Did Adam? Did Lucy? But she waited and continued to listen.
“But he doesn’t love me, and he hasn’t been in love with me for a really long time. He’s in love with Lucy. He’s absolutely, madly, in love with that little girl.”
Elizabeth held on to the arm of the chair, waiting for a bomb to drop out of Michelle’s mouth. What was she trying to telling her?
“Lucy had been the only person I’ve ever seen him really love.” She paused for a moment. “Until I came here and met you. He’s losing his mind without you.”
Elizabeth’s hand covered her mouth, her stomach doing a somersault while she tried to hide the thrill of hearing this while Michelle sat in front of her.
Michelle looked up at her, her eyes still broken, but the demons had vanished. “I know I’ve complicated things between the two of you, but please talk to him. I won’t be in your way again, I promise. I just want to be part of Lucy’s life, and make them both happy, which means you need to be part of their lives again.”
“I ... don’t know,” Elizabeth stumbled over her words. Adam wasn’t moving on? He was losing his mind over her? Michelle wanted her to be part of Lucy and Adam’s lives? Would Michelle give up the love of her life for a complete stranger? Just as Elizabeth was about to say something, there was a knock on the door, and Margie barged in.
“Margie!”
“Sorry, Doc, but it’s Mr. Cahill on line two.” She nodded at the blinking light on Elizabeth’s phone. “He says Anastasia’s in labor.”
She jumped up, leaning over her desk to grab the phone. “Adam?”
“Elizabeth, you need to come down to the farm.” His voice was urgent. “There’s only one hoof coming out.”
ADAM WAITED IN THE open barn door as he saw Dr. Johnson drive the truck up the driveway with Elizabeth in the passenger seat. It felt like a granite boulder weighed down his stomach. The one shot he had to be alone with her, and she brought Dr. Johnson with her. She really didn’t want anything to do with him.
He met her as she jumped out of the truck as it slowed, and jogged toward the barn. She stopped when she saw him. She seemed about to say something, but stopped herself as Dr. Johnson walked up from behind.
Adam didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than she already was. So, he spoke first. “Thanks for coming,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I’ve k
ept her in the stall and padded it with lots of extra straw, even up the sides.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Great, we’ll go and check out what’s going on.”
Dr. Johnson walked up to him and reached out his hand. “Good day, Mr. Cahill.”
“Thanks for coming,” he repeated, though he wanted to drag himself under the hay.
Dr. Johnson patted him on the back, then walked to the stall with Elizabeth. Adam followed. When he went in to check on the mare after dropping Lucy off at school, he almost lost it when he saw the single hoof sticking out. The thought of it made him queasy.
Elizabeth rubbed her hands along the stomach, the mare moaned.
“Dystocia,” she said, talking to Dr. Johnson.
“Do you think I should call Portland?” Dr. Johnson asked, checking the pupils.
“I’d be afraid the ride would cause too much distress. I think I can turn it around if I have some help.”
“Is she going to be okay?” Adam hadn’t really thought of this scenario when he first got the pregnant horse.
“She should be fine, but I’ll need some help.”
“Of course.”
“I’ll go and grab some towels from the truck, but we’ll need water.” Elizabeth started calling the shots.
“I can grab towels from inside. What else can I do to help?”
Elizabeth looked from Dr. Johnson to Adam. “Just get a lot of towels.”
Elizabeth got up. “I’m going to check the truck and see if I need any other supplies before I start to turn the foal.”
Adrenaline pump through Adam’s veins as Elizabeth actually acknowledged him, talked to him, even. He ran behind her to the truck, hoping for an opportunity to talk. She opened up the back and pulled open another medical kit. He tried to say something, but chickened out.
“Elizabeth.” He was about to confess everything right then and there, even how he felt about her.
She looked up with a pair of scissors. “Yes?”
“Um, do you need to do anything else?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m fine.”
She closed up the compartments and then threw some supplies into a duffle bag. He stood watching as she jumped off the lift gate. She passed him a bucket, touching his hand with hers. Her touch sent shock waves through his whole body. He wanted to grab her arm, pull her in, wrap his own arms around her waist and never let go, but he squeezed the bucket’s handle, trying to control himself.
She looked like she was about to grab her bag, but then she took his hand, instead.
“When this is all over, can we talk?”
He nodded, but he couldn’t formulate what he wanted to say. Elizabeth smiled, then left for the barn. He watched her leave as hope filled his chest like a helium balloon about to burst.
Then, just like a balloon, it popped as soon as he saw Michelle pull up the driveway. He suddenly didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want Elizabeth to get more of the wrong idea. The last time Michelle showed up, Elizabeth left and never talked to him again. He just needed to talk to her without anyone else around, especially Michelle.
She parked close to the house, away from the barn. When she got out, she didn’t even look over toward him as he approached her.
“Anastasia is in labor. The vet’s here.”
The news didn’t surprise her, in fact she said, “You should get Lucy out of school.”
Adam hadn’t decided whether or not to get Lucy. She would definitely be disappointed if she missed the birth, but he worried if there were complications, she would be able to handle watching Anastasia struggle ... or worse. She was a tough kid, but even the toughest person would have a hard time dealing with seeing someone they loved in pain.
“I’m sure Dr. Elizabeth wouldn’t let her see anything she shouldn’t,” Michelle said, as though she had read his mind.
He looked at Michelle. She was right. Elizabeth wouldn’t let Lucy see something she shouldn’t. She would make sure Lucy was okay before anything happened. If he wanted Elizabeth to trust him, he had to trust Elizabeth.
“Do you want to pick Lucy up at school?” he asked, half-regretting the sudden loss of control.
Michelle’s eyes opened wide. “Really? Are you sure?”
He hesitated before nodding. “I’ll let the school know her mom is picking her up.”
She ran up to him and hugged him. “Thank you Adam. I promise I won’t let you down.”
“Don’t worry about me, it’s Lucy. Don’t let Lucy down.” He may be letting down some of his guard, but once bitten, twice shy. He didn’t want to have to be the jerk, but it would take a long time before he trusted her. She needed to prove she wasn’t going to let them down again.
He pulled out his phone and dialed the school as he went inside to grab the supplies. He watched Michelle get into her car and take off down the driveway.
“Good morning, Camden Cove Elementary School,” the secretary said.
“Good morning, Mrs. Schofield, I’m going to be dismissing Lucy from school today,” he said.
“Alright, Mr. Cahill,” she said in a friendly tone. “When will you be picking her up?”
“Actually, it will be her mother picking up.”
“Oh ... Lucy’s mother?” he could hear the surprise in her voice.
“Yes, she’s not on the emergency contacts, but I give her permission to bring her home.”
Twenty-two
Elizabeth attached the heart monitor as Dr. Johnson steadied Anastasia into position. She wished Lucy could see what was going on. She’d get a kick out of watching the birth, now that Anastasia seemed to be relaxing and not straining as much with her contractions. She imagined Lucy would be right up next to her, in her boots, waiting to see what happened next. Elizabeth smiled to herself, thinking about it. Then just as an image floated in her head, she saw Lucy running through the barn doors with Michelle behind her.
Elizabeth held up her finger to her mouth, and Lucy immediately slowed down to a careful walk. She remembered what they talked about regarding the birth. Noise and movement stressed the mother out. Elizabeth held out her arm and whispered, “Here, come around this end and you’ll see the sac when she contracts next.”
Elizabeth knelt down and pointed to the mare. “The foal is in the wrong position, so we’re going to help and turn it around. You think you want to stay for that?”
Elizabeth had talked Lucy through the whole birth, even recommended YouTube videos so Lucy could be prepared. There was a lot of fluid, and the sac could make a grown man queasy, but Lucy insisted it didn’t bother her. And as she stood there, as Anastasia groaned, stretching her body, Lucy didn’t squirm or quiver at the sight. She looked fascinated.
“I’m totally staying.”
Elizabeth let out a laugh at the little girl who had blossomed into a young lady right before her eyes.
“How will you turn the baby around?” Lucy asked.
“Dr. Elizabeth is going to go in and help move the foal back into the right position, so it can come out safely for the momma.” Dr. Johnson walked around the horse to Lucy.
“If she can’t, will you have to cut her?”
“Only if nothing else works.” Dr. Johnson smiled at the young girl. “I used to know a little girl a while back, who asked the same sort of questions.”
“Really? Who?”
Dr. Johnson gestured his head toward Elizabeth. “You’re going to make quite a veterinarian one day, young lady.”
“How can we help?” Adam asked, holding a pile of towels.
“I’ll need you to get the towels ready for when the baby comes. Just like the puppies.”
Adam’s eyes opened wider with fear as Lucy’s opened with excitement. “Towels, got it.”
“I’m going to turn the foal around.” Elizabeth looked at Adam, whose face turned whiter by the moment. She laughed. Then, his face changed, like relief swept over him. She gave a smile, then went back to work. But he looked like he understood what she would sa
y. That she understood he didn’t mean to hurt her.
Elizabeth stood up and snapped her rubber glove up on her arm. “Okay, then, let’s help Anastasia deliver the baby.”
ADAM SWORE IT WAS THE way Elizabeth stuffed both of her arms deep into Anastasia that brought him to tears, not the whole circle of life. He certainly would’ve changed his clothes and shoes had he known how much fluid would spill out onto him. Dr. Johnson stood at the mare’s head and Elizabeth called out the orders. “Get those towels ready!”
What happened next could only be described in horror films. Elizabeth removed the layer of alien covering and rubbed the foal down with at least a dozen towels, then it turned into one of the most amazing moments of his life.
He pulled out his phone and began filming, everyone filled with excitement at the miracle of birth.
“It’s a filly!” Dr. Johnson exclaimed. The foal’s leggy body moved in the hay next to her mother. Anastasia licking its head.
“Another girl!” Adam couldn’t believe it.
“We should name her Cinderella!” Lucy hugged him, squeezing him so hard he could hardly breathe.
“Cinderella?” Adam shook his head. “Seriously?”
“Ella would be a very cute name for a horse,” Michelle said.
“That’s a lovely name for such a beautiful girl,” Elizabeth agreed. He could see even though his phone’s screen the love in her eyes for Lucy. A mother’s love.
ELIZABETH CHECKED ANASTASIA and Ella one last time. It was up to Anastasia now. She watched as the mare licked her new foal clean, creating a bond between mother and daughter.
“Is she going to try to stand?” Lucy asked. Ella, who knelt in the hay, snorted, pushing herself up.
“She is.” Elizabeth watched as the filly tumbled back onto the hay next to her momma.