Ruby Chadwick

by Ruby Chadwick (retail) (epub)

  Shaking his head, he tried to wipe the memories from his mind, only to experience a great desire to cry, weep and shout at the utter futility of it all. During the intermittent years, he had forced himself not to think of his father, telling himself he hated him. Even when he had read the letter he had felt no sadness, only wondered what there would be in it for him. For his father was a wealthy man. Thirty years of dealing in stocks and shares had paid off. Laying the letter down on the table, he put his head in his hands; he could ignore the truth no longer.

  He still loved his father, and above all else he wanted to see him before he died so that he could tell him so. He sat for a long time, examining his own character, and what he saw didn’t please him. The confrontation with Daisy had left him feeling angry. It had also set off a chain of thoughts in his mind. For the first time he had seen himself as Daisy and the children saw him, and again he felt a sudden desire to weep. Getting to his feet, he put his hand on the knob of the kitchen door and hesitated for a moment, his pride not allowing him to admit he was in the wrong, but the need for Daisy’s comforting presence was stronger. Silently he twisted the handle and walked into the room.

  Daisy looked up at him from her sewing, and the uncertain words died on her lips as she saw the anguished look on his face. Putting her sewing down on the hearthrug, she hurried over to him. ‘What is it, Bernard? What’s happened?’

  When he made no answer but continued to look at her in a dazed fashion, she became frightened. She had never seen him look like this. Taking his arm, she led him to the armchair, and when he was seated beside the blazing fire, she dropped to her knees and took hold of both his hands.

  Bernard gulped twice before he said quietly, ‘All I could think of was the money he might leave me. All day that’s all I’ve thought about: the money, and what was in it for me. Never once did I think about him, that he was dying; just about how I would benefit. God!’

  The contempt for himself in his voice made Daisy wince. Gently tightening her grip on his hands, she raised her eyes to his, all the anger she had felt for him earlier vanishing in the face of his distress. She had no need to ask who he was talking about: she could read it in his face. The anger and the fear she could cope with, but the look of sheer loathing made her cry out, ‘Don’t, Bernard! Don’t!’ And then she was in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder, listening to the spate of words that tumbled from his lips. When at last he quietened, she pulled herself away, saying, ‘Why don’t you go to bed, dear? I’ll take your place in the bar, and we’ll talk more tomorrow.’

  ‘No, I want you with me tonight. Go and tell Jack to lock up early and go home, Lily too.’

  ‘But, Bernard, it’s only ten o’clock; the night trade is just starting,’ Daisy protested. It was unheard of to shut a public house at this time of the evening.

  ‘Daisy, please. I want the house to ourselves. I don’t want to hear the laughter and music; not tonight.’

  ‘But what shall I tell Jack and Lily? They’ll wonder what’s wrong, and they’ll have to give the customers a reason. They could turn ugly if they’re deprived of their drink.’

  Turning swiftly round, he faced her, shouting, ‘Tell them there’s been a death in the family.’

  Daisy jumped back, startled, and then walked towards the door, where she paused as she heard him say again, but more quietly this time, ‘Yes, tell them there’s been a death in the family.’

  Bowing her head, she left the room.

  * * *

  Jack and Lily pushed the last protesting customers through the heavy doors and then quickly bolted them, ignoring the hammering that started up almost immediately. When they were certain the doors were secure, they looked at each other and grinned.

  ‘Bloody ’ell, I was a bit worried for a while! It could ’ave turned nasty. Do you know what’s going on?’ Jack asked, leaning towards Lily.

  She moved away from him, saying, ‘No, no idea. Must be something up, though. ’E’s never done it before; too fond of making money.’

  An awkward silence then fell between them. Although they had worked together for several years, this was the first time they had ever been alone together. The silence was broken by Jack clearing his throat, then, with much shuffling of feet, he blurted out, ‘Look, Lily, ’ow about tidying up and then going down the Nag’s ’Ead for a drink and maybe a bite to eat?’

  Lily looked up, the surprise she felt clearly showing. This was a turn-up for the book! Fancy Jack asking her out. She had never thought of him that way before. But why not? She was in no hurry to return to her dingy little room where the only company was mice and cockroaches. She looked up into his face, now red with embarrassment, and thought again, ‘Why not?’ All right, he might be overweight and his hair was thinning on top, but his nature was kind, and Lily craved kindness.

  Before she could answer, he turned from her, muttering, ‘It’s all right, no need to feel awkward. It was just an idea.’

  The tone of his voice brought a feeling of sadness to her. He was as lonely as she was. ‘Jack, I’d love to go for a drink, but how—’ and she pointed towards the doors they had just barred, ‘—are we going to get out? Mr Chadwick usually locks up after us, and I don’t fancy going into the house to ask him, do you?’

  Jack looked to where Lily was pointing, his mouth agape. He hadn’t thought of that. Raising his eyes to the ceiling, he immediately dismissed the idea of calling his employer; whatever was going on up there, he wanted no part of it.

  ‘’Ang on a minute,’ Lily cried. ‘We can leave through the yard. Lock the back door from the outside, then push the key under the door.’

  Now that the problem of leaving had been solved, they set to work to clear up the empty glasses and plates, both looking forward to the evening ahead.

  Chapter Six

  The dawn was just breaking as Ruby opened her eyes and began to stir. Outside her window she could hear the sounds of another day beginning. Turning over on her pillows, she gave a gasp of surprise as her eyes took in the dim figure of her father sitting on the chair by her bed.

  Seeing she was awake, Bernard leaned over to the night table and turned the lamp up so that he could see her more clearly. ‘Good morning, Ruby. How is your leg today?’ he enquired kindly.

  Ruby lay back, dumbstruck. The shock of finding him by her bedside had been frightening enough, but this sudden change in his character was bewildering. What was going on? Apart from the day he had caught her out in the lie, he had barely mentioned the accident, and then it had been in an accusing tone as if daring her to complain of any pain she might be suffering. For a sick moment she wondered if he was drunk. She couldn’t think of any other reason for this complete change in his attitude, but her father never drank. He had seen too much of the effects on those that did. Her eyes still wide, she continued to stare at him, not knowing how to deal with this stranger that was her father.

  Bernard looked at her frightened face, and felt once again a stab of shame. He had done this to her, to all his family, had made them fear him when all he wanted was their love. Pray God it wasn’t too late to make amends! Leaning forward, he caught hold of her cold hand and said quietly, ‘Your mother is sending Lily for the doctor as soon as she comes to work, and we’ll see what he has to say.’

  Startled, Ruby sat up, the sudden movement making her wince as a sharp pain tore through her leg. ‘He won’t make me go to the hospital, will he, Father?’

  The terror in her voice was not lost on Bernard. The London Hospital was much feared among the poorer people and they would have to be very sick indeed to go willingly, for it was said that many men, women and children who had entered the gates had never returned. It held the same terror as the workhouse, to such an extent that it had had the same motto attached to it: ‘Abandon hope all ye who enter here.’

  Swallowing hard, Bernard forced a smile to his lips. ‘No, Ruby, you won’t have to go to the London. If the doctor says you have to visit a hospital, I’ll make sure y
ou go to a different one; a good one, I promise.’ Now at a loss for words, he rose to leave, saying softly, ‘I’ll tell your mother you’re awake. She’ll be up presently.’

  Ruby watched her father leave the room, her mind a jumble of confused thoughts. He had acted so differently, seemed so kind, that she had nearly blurted out the truth about how she was feeling. She couldn’t explain exactly how she felt, just that she didn’t feel well. Carefully pushing back the sheets, she looked down fearfully at her leg. The knee-joint was red and swollen, but what frightened her most was the yellow stuff that kept coming from it. She had managed to keep her mum from seeing it by always being up and dressed before coming down to breakfast, and by telling her that she was bathing it every day, but now she was getting really frightened. Every night for the past week she had had to wet her stocking before she could peel it from her leg. She always washed the yellow stuff away, but in the morning it was back again. Biting down on her lip, she pulled the sheets back over her trembling body. She wished she could tell her mum, but she was afraid of getting into trouble again. Lying back against the pillows, she tried to stop the tears from falling as she waited fearfully for the doctor to arrive.

  It was two hours later when the sixpenny doctor arrived. A grey-haired old man who stank of beer came into her room, and without any preliminaries began to grope and pull at her leg through the long flannel nightdress she always wore to bed. So rough was he that she screamed loudly, for the pain made her feel sick. Within minutes her father burst into the room, grabbed the unfortunate man by the scruff of the neck and bundled him unceremoniously out.

  The two boys stood in Ruby’s doorway, their eyes wide as they saw their father return to the bed and gather Ruby in his arms, all the while muttering endearments as he rocked her back and forth. Bertie raised an eyebrow at George as if asking him to explain the sudden change in their father, but George was just as bewildered. It wasn’t that Bernard had ever been cruel to them, except on the occasions when they had felt his hand, but none of them had ever received open affection from him, although they all knew he loved them.

  Bernard laid Ruby back on the bed and strode past the waiting boys, saying curtly, ‘See to your sister; she is very distressed.’

  Taking the stairs two at a time, he flew into the kitchen where Daisy sat, her hand clutching the front of her blouse, her face troubled. ‘That drunken old sot!’ he exploded. ‘We would have been better off getting the horse-doctor in to see her! He would at least have been gentler.’ Sinking onto a chair, he put out his hands to Daisy and said, ‘What shall we do? We can’t take her to the London; the place is no better than an abattoir.’

  Daisy thought for a moment and then said quietly, ‘When are you going to see your father?’

  ‘My father?’ Bernard repeated sharply. ‘I’m more concerned with Ruby at the moment. As— as soon as I’m sure she’s all right, I’ll go and visit my father, but first let’s get Ruby seen to.’

  As if she hadn’t heard him, Daisy continued, ‘If your father is as bad as David says, then you must go as soon as possible. No, listen, Bernard,’ she said quickly as he made to interrupt. ‘I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. Guy’s Hospital isn’t too far from Brixton. What I suggest is that you go to see your father today and take Ruby with you. It would do her good to get out of the house, and once you’ve seen him and found out just how ill he really is, you could drive on to the hospital. I’ve heard good reports about Guy’s. I only hope we haven’t left it too late.’

  Bernard heard the unmistakable censure in her voice, and bowed his head. What had he been thinking of to let Ruby suffer these past weeks? But then, he defended himself, I hadn’t known how much pain she was in. But you should have known, his inner voice told him. You should have made it your business to find out. Rising from the table, he appealed to Daisy. ‘I was hoping you would come with me. You know how much I’m dreading seeing my father again after all this time.’ Clearing his throat, he said softly, ‘I could do with you by my side, Daisy. I need you with me when I see him again.’

  Daisy knew how much those words had cost him and felt a warmness for him she hadn’t felt in a long time. But it wasn’t his father she was frightened of meeting, it was hearing what the hospital doctor would say when he examined Ruby’s leg. Pushing down the compassion she felt for Bernard, she answered firmly, ‘We’ve been over this already, Bernard. We can’t both leave the pub for the day. Lily and Jack can’t possibly cope with just the two of them. You’ll have to go on your own.’

  Realising that further argument would prove futile, he spread his hands wide, saying, ‘You’d better get Ruby ready. I’ll go and saddle the horses.’

  * * *

  Ruby heard her mother coming up the stairs and carefully pulled herself up into a sitting position.

  ‘How do you feel, dear?’ Daisy asked solicitously, then, before Ruby could answer, she sat down on the bed and taking Ruby’s hand in hers, she said gently, ‘Listen, dear, your father is going to visit your grandfather today. How would you like to go with him?’

  Ruby’s bottom lip dropped in surprise. She knew she had a grandfather, and an uncle, but she also knew that her father didn’t talk to them any more, and that’s why none of them had ever visited his house. She had asked her mum a long time ago why she and Bertie and George couldn’t visit their grandfather, and had been told that their father would explain the situation to them one day, but that at present they were too young to understand. ‘But, Mum, I thought we weren’t allowed to visit Grandfather?’ she said in bewilderment.

  ‘Ruby, I…’ Daisy began, then tightening her hold on the small hand, she said, ‘Look, dear, I haven’t time to explain properly, but your grandfather is very ill, and your father wants to go and see him. And— and afterwards, your father is going to take you to a hospital called Guy’s, so that a proper doctor can look at your leg.’ She felt the hand beneath hers jerk suddenly and hastened to reassure the small tense figure. ‘It’s going to be all right, Ruby, I promise. The doctor at the hospital won’t be anything like the one that’s just been, and you want your leg to get better, don’t you?’

  Ruby looked up at her mother with fear and anxiety. ‘Yes, of course I do, but, Mum— I feel scared. Mum, are you going to come with us?’

  Daisy lowered her eyes guiltily. ‘I’m sorry, dear, but I have to stay here and look after the pub, but look… Listen,’ she hurried on, anxious to dispel the frightened look from her daughter’s eyes. ‘Your father is getting the carriage ready, so we’d better hurry and get you dressed. And just think while you’re out with your father, your brothers will be stuck here doing their lessons! Now, up you get, dear. The sooner you get started, the sooner you’ll be back home.’

  Slightly mollified at the thought of her brothers having to miss out on a ride in the carriage, Ruby threw back the bedclothes and then painfully swung her legs over the side of the bed. With Daisy’s help, she washed her hands and face in the pewter basin, then pulled her underclothes on carefully. Gently Daisy slipped over Ruby’s head the new white blouse with the frills at the neck and cuffs she had so lovingly sewed on by hand. This was followed by an equally new pink pinafore she had finished only yesterday, the hem of which fell around Ruby’s calves. When she was finally ready, Ruby looked down at herself, pleased with what she saw. Ordinarily she would scorn such fripperies, but if she was going to see her grandfather for the first time, then she wanted to look her best. What would happen after the visit, she carefully blocked from her mind.

  ‘There,’ Daisy said proudly as she stepped back to admire her handiwork. ‘Now you wait there while I fetch your father to help you down the stairs.’

  ‘But, Mum,’ Ruby protested, ‘I don’t need help down the stairs! Well, not much. I can lean on your arm.’

  ‘No, dear, I’d rather you waited for your father, and anyway, you don’t look very well to me. Your face is flushed, I think you may be coming down with a cold.’ Placing her hand against Ruby’s for
ehead, she was alarmed to feel the heat coming from the dry skin. Careful not to worry Ruby, she smiled brightly and said, ‘Now be a good girl and do what I tell you,’ before leaving the room to attend to the two boys who had gone back to bed.

  Once Daisy had left the room, Ruby sat back further on the bed, trying to make herself comfortable while she waited for her dad to come and fetch her. A sudden wave of dizziness came over her and, resisting the strong impulse to lie down, she opened her eyes wide and straightened her back, trying to concentrate on the day ahead. Now that she had had time to get over the shock of the plans, she was quite looking forward to it. Anything was better than staying at home doing lessons. She wished her dad would hurry up. Eh, she’d have to stop thinking of him as ‘Dad’. He got so angry when she forgot, and she’d have to be specially nice to him today because his dad – no, his father – wasn’t very well and he was worried about him. Folding her hands in her lap, she waited patiently for her father to come.

  * * *

  Bernard finished feeding the horses and hurried back into the house. As he climbed the stairs, he saw Daisy leave Ruby’s room and then bang on the boys’ door before disappearing into their room. In his bedroom, he sat down heavily, wondering if he could change her mind about accompanying him on his journey today. He felt in dire need of moral support. Even though he had recovered from the emotional trauma he had suffered the day before, there still remained a feeling of dread at the prospect of coming face to face with his father after all these years. Well, at least he would have Ruby by his side, and he only wished the reason for her coming with him were due to different circumstances. With heavy steps he walked over to his wardrobe and took out his black morning coat and black high hat, both of which he very rarely had the opportunity to wear. Laying them on the bed, he made his way to Ruby’s room, where she was waiting patiently for him.