The Scars Keeper

by Scarlet Wolfe

  “How are you?”

  “I’m good.”

  “Are Wayne and Jewel treating you right?”

  “Yeah, they’re great. I couldn’t ask for better.”

  “Good. That’s what I needed to hear.”

  “How have you been?”

  “Oh, I’m still evil as ever.”

  I have to take a breath. He’s still the father I remember and miss.

  “What’s wrong, Hayden?”

  “I miss you, and talking to you is confusing me. I like my life here, but just hearing your voice makes me wonder if I should come home.”

  “I miss you, too, but I told you … don’t ever return here. Although it’s hard the way it is, I’d rather seldom see you and know you’re happy and healthy than for you to end up dead. I couldn’t bear that, son.”

  “Hasn’t it been long enough for you to sneak away and come here for a few days? I want you to meet someone. I have a girlfriend, and I think you’d like her a lot. She’s incredible, Pop.”

  He laughs. “What is it about Indiana? They breed the best women.”

  “Please, come visit me.”

  “I wish I could, but we’ve got some serious business we’re dealing with right now, and I want to give it more time. I wouldn’t want a soul to get suspicious about where I’m heading off to. When I can, I will drive as far as it takes to see you.”

  “You promise?”

  He hesitates, and I don’t like the feeling this conversation is giving me.

  “Yeah, I promise. I better get off here. You have a good visit with Ricky, but don’t let him put any stupid ideas in your head. You’re safer there.”

  “I love ya, Pop.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Avery

  I’m biting my nail as I sit alone in physics. The morning bell rang, and Hayden still hasn’t shown for class.

  I texted him last night, and all he said was he would have to talk to me today. I was angry that he wouldn’t give me a better explanation.

  We had the most amazing day, both of us professing our love for one another, but then he wouldn’t introduce me to someone who I suspect is from his past.

  When will he ever trust me? I can’t take this any longer, so I sneak out my phone to text him.

  Me: Why aren’t you at school??

  Hayden: I have to go away for a couple of days. I’ll explain once I get back.

  Me: That’s it. That’s all you have to say about what happened yesterday? Unbelievable. You still don’t trust me. I’m over you hiding shit from me!

  Hayden: Baby, I can’t get into it over a text. We’ll talk in a few days.

  “Great, now it’s a few days. Shifting to slip my phone back inside my pocket, I wince from a pain in my hip. It feels like it’s located where my last cut is.

  Not wanting to ask Mr. Bradford for anything, I decide to hold off going to the restroom until after class.

  As soon as the bell rings, I hurry to a restroom stall and pull down my shorts. Oh, no. My cut looks horrible.

  It’s crusty and oozing, and all around it is swollen and red. Crap, is that some sort of streak coming off of it, too? As soon as I’m home, I’ll tend to it. This day is sucking and it’s only nine a.m.

  ***

  I can’t afford to miss more days of school this year, but with a fever and chills, I had no choice. Of course, my dad lectured me before he left this morning about getting better, like it’s in my control or something.

  Even though I doctored my cut last night, the wound appears worse today. I should get it looked at, and I debate on returning to the urgent care clinic, but when I try to get up, I’m too weak. Maybe if I rest for a few hours first, I’ll find the energy to go.

  Hayden

  We reach my bike in the parking lot in Bloomington, and Cynthia gives me a hug.

  “I still can’t process all you told me, but I’m glad you confided in me. I hope it helped.”

  I give her an extra squeeze and let her go.

  “It did. I think I can tell Avery now. I only hope she will be understanding like you.”

  “She will be. She’s sweet and loves you. It will all work out.”

  “Thanks again, and thanks for letting me interview your friends for my school project. I better head out so I can get back there tomorrow.”

  Cynthia returns to her dorm to get ready for a noon class. A buddy of hers let me crash on his floor for a couple of days.

  I got a first-hand look at college living, but I was too stressed out to enjoy it. It was also uncomfortable having to interview people I don’t know for my sociology project, but I had to have something to turn in.

  Since I wanted to come up here and talk with Cynthia, I thought I’d do a paper on students transitioning from home to college.

  My phone buzzes right as I’m about to start up my bike, so I pull my phone from my pocket. Not having heard from Avery since Monday morning, I figure it’s her, and I imagine she’s still mad at me.

  Instead, it’s a text from a number I don’t recognize.

  Where are you??

  Me: Who is this?

  Madison: It’s Madison. I found your number in Avery’s phone. She’s resting right now.

  Me: What do you mean she’s resting? Why isn’t she at school?

  Madison: We’re at the hospital? Did you not know this?? She’s sick with a bad bacterial infection, so you should be here with her. She’s been in and out of consciousness for a day now.

  Me: Shit, I had no idea. I’ve been out of town. Text me the hospital info, and I should be there in about an hour and a half.

  Revving up my bike, I take off to be with her.

  ***

  I run to the elevator in the hospital. Once I pound on the third floor button, I beg for the doors to close. This ride feels almost as long as my trip back from Bloomington.

  Stepping off of it, I turn right and count the numbers on the patient rooms. I spot Madison and Avery’s parents standing down the hallway.

  If they’ve become aware of her cutting, this is going to be ugly, but I’m not leaving.

  “Hi,” I say to Madison before I drag my eyes to Avery’s parents. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Hollingsworth.”

  “Hayden, right?” her mom asks.

  “Yes, ma’am. How is Avery?”

  “She’s resting, but she’s at least been alert over the last hour.”

  “I’d like to see her.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, especially after the influence you’ve had on her,” her father says.

  I scrunch my forehead.

  “I don’t understand, sir.”

  “Walk with me.” He begins to stroll down the hall with his hands shoved into the pockets of his khakis, so I catch up and walk alongside of him.

  “Did you teach her to cut her body up like that?”

  “No, sir. I’d never encourage her to do it. I’ve tried to help her stop.”

  “That’s what she claims, but since meeting you, she’s been more defiant, and I can’t even believe what she’s done to herself. Maybe she thought she’d look cooler to you if she did it. You know, fit into your crowd better.”

  I come to stop. “Avery is not cutting because of me. I’ve been nothing but good to her, and I’ve encouraged her to seek help for this.”

  “What you should’ve done was told her parents.”

  “Sir, she’s eighteen. Avery can do whatever she wants, and I’m going back to see her.”

  I turn and hurry to her room. I step around Avery’s mother and Madison to go inside. Her arms are resting outside her blanket, so I spot the IV in her arm and the bags of fluids hanging from a pole.

  Her eyes are closed, so I sit in a chair next to the bed and hold her hand. Gradually, her eyes open, and she looks to me.

  “Hayden. I started to think you weren’t coming back.”

  “Of course I came back.” Bringing our hands up, I kiss her fingers. “Baby, I�
�ll always come back.”

  “My cut got infected, and I was too sick to get help. The infection spread, so my parents brought me here yesterday, and now they know about my cutting.

  “The doctor is ordering a psychiatric evaluation. He suspects I have an underlying anxiety disorder that if treated could help me.”

  “I spoke to your dad. He thinks it’s my fault.” A thought hits me. “Wait, this is my fault. I bet your cut got infected from the pond water. I soaked you with it.”

  She shakes her head. “We had no way to know this would happen. I caused this. I chose to cut. You can’t blame yourself for the fun we were having. You’d never hurt me.”

  “I love you, and I’m sorry I left.”

  “Tell me why, Hayden. If you can’t tell me about your past, then I don’t see how we can have a future.”

  “I will as soon as we’re alone. It’s a lot to tell.”

  “My parents are demanding to know what’s upsetting me, but I can’t bring myself to tell them that they’re mostly to blame. I can’t find the courage to confess what Mr. Bradford did to me, either.”

  “The self-harm is out in the open now, so this is your chance to tell them everything. I can’t live with you staying silent anymore. Have a voice, baby.”

  “My scars are my voice, and now they’ve seen them.”

  “No, the scars are your suffering. You think the cutting is your relief from expectations and pressures others place on you, but instead, it’s become your prison.

  “Tell your parents so they might change. Tell them about Mr. Bradford so he can’t hurt anyone else. Then, you can get the counseling you need, too.”

  I reach out and cup her cheek.

  “It’s time everyone else experiences the Avery I’ve been blessed to know. The girl who’s happy, fun and full of hope. With me you’re not anxious and afraid, and you should be that way when around everyone else. Be that person to the world, sweetheart.”

  The door opens, and I hear several footsteps behind me.

  “Avery, we sent Madison home for a while, and we’d like time alone with you to talk,” her father says.

  She squeezes my hand.

  “Hayden’s staying. I need to tell you both some things, but I only will if he’s here.”

  Coming around to the other side of the bed, they sit down in chairs below the wide window and stare straight at me.

  I look to her and whisper, “I’m right here. We got this.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Avery

  I do it. I tell my parents everything. Every way they make me feel and all the things they’ve done to lead me to the dark place I’ve been held captive in.

  My mom sheds tears on occasion, and often dad looks away in shame. I can tell he hates that my confessions about his faults are being exposed in front of Hayden, but he never asks him to leave.

  It’s finally time to tell them about Mr. Bradford.

  “There’s something else … It’s something serious, too.”

  I look to Hayden, and clasping my hands even snugger between his, he nods. Tears glass over my eyes, and I have to blink them away for my parents not to appear blurry.

  “Mr. Bradford sexually assaulted me. We never had sex, but he did other things to me, and I was too afraid to tell you both. I worried you wouldn’t believe me.”

  Tears tumble to my cheeks. Mom gasps, and my dad stands before he grabs the back of his neck. He turns toward the window and exhales a loud breath.

  “Hayden walked in on us one day after school and confronted me about it. I confessed, and he then went to Mr. Bradford’s house and beat him up. He’s never bothered me since.”

  Mom rushes to my side. She strokes my hair and weeps with me.

  “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry we weren’t there for you.”

  “I was sure you’d think I did something to provoke it. That you’d believe it was somehow my fault. I swear I never gave him a sign I was interested.”

  My weeping evolves into a sob. She wraps her arm around my head and pulls me to her side.

  “We could never think that of you. Never.”

  “If I don’t kill him first, that man is spending years in jail,” my father says. He turns toward us with fury in his eyes.

  “You mean we’re going to tell someone? I thought you’d want to hide it,” I utter.

  “I realize you think little of us,” Dad says, “but I’d never keep something like this a secret. He can’t be teaching our youth, and he sure as hell isn’t getting away with doing this to you. As soon as you’re well, we’re going to the school and the police.”

  Mom pats my arm. “Everything will work out, and we’ll be better parents. We’ll all go to counseling if we need to.”

  I take a glimpse of Hayden’s dark eyes, and they’re teary, too. He seems relieved yet full of emotions.

  “I’m going to get a cup of coffee. Would either of you like one?” he asks my parents as he stands.

  “No, thank you, Hayden,” Mom replies. Dad shakes his head no. Giving my hand one last squeeze, Hayden leaves the room, and I know it’s to give my parents and me time alone. It’s with the hope that they’ll express their true feelings.

  “I guess I judged him wrong,” Dad says before he sighs and sits down again. His face and neck are crimson, the anger over Mr. Bradford still burning him up inside.

  “Hayden looks rough on the outside, but he’s the most genuine person. He’s tried his hardest to help me, and he has. I love him.”

  “I’m sorry I hit you, Avery, and I’m sorry we’ve let you down. Like your mother said, we’ll do better. I don’t want you to leave for college and never come back.”

  “Thank you, Dad. I still plan to do my best at sports and in school, but regardless of the outcome, I need you to accept me the way that I am. I’m going to make mistakes because I’m human.”

  Mom strokes my hair again.

  “We will, dear, and we’ve always been proud of you.”

  “Thank you. Um, I need to rest. I still feel awful.”

  “Since Hayden’s here, we’ll head to the office, but I’m going to cut back our schedule so we can be home more with you,” Dad says. “I mean, I want to spend time with you before you leave for Bloomington.” He gives a faint smile.

  “I’m worried I won’t get my scholarship now.”

  “Yes, you will. You’ve earned it, and I believe they’ll still see that.”

  My parents both hug me before they exit my room. I close my eyes as the biggest weight of worry and stress leaves my body. No more secrets. I can finally be me.

  Hayden

  Avery’s been asleep for an hour when she opens her eyes.

  “Hi,” she says, accompanying a lazy smile.

  Hi, baby. Are you feeling better?”

  “A little. I guess the antibiotics are beginning to help.”

  “Were your parents still good to you after I left?”

  “Yes. They handled it so much better than I expected. Maybe it was because I’m sick in the hospital, or because you were here, but regardless, they were supportive and loving and promise they will continue to be. That’s all I can ask for.”

  “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  “Yes, you could’ve. You think you need me to be strong, but it’s not true. I’m glad you want me, but never forget that you’re strong without me.”

  “It’s going to be rough once everyone knows about Mr. Bradford.”

  “Yeah, but I’ll be right by your side, and your friends will be, too. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it.”

  “Scoot closer so I can touch your hair.” Smirking, I slide the chair up to the head of the bed. Her fingers begin to play with some of the long strands shielding my face. “Tell me where you’ve been.”

  My mouth goes dry. I rub my sweaty hands on my jeans and then take hold of her fingers to stop mine from trembling.

  “I wen
t to stay with Cynthia in Bloomington.” Her forehead creases in confusion. “I needed to talk to her about something important before I shared it with you. While I was there, I decided to work my sociology project into the visit.”

  “Why did you need to talk to her first? I wish you felt you could trust me. It hurts.”

  “I do trust you. Do you remember when I told you I couldn’t tell a story from my past to even my aunt and uncle? Well, I knew I needed to tell it to you, but I wasn’t sure if I could do that without losing my shit or running away.

  “It might not make sense, but I had to say it to someone else first, just to get it out. I also needed her opinion on whether you’d forgive me when I told you.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She said you’d be understanding, which is what I thought, but I guess I needed reassurance.”

  “Who was the guy that showed up at the dock?”

  “My cousin Ricky. He lives in Arizona. I wasn’t expecting him, so it surprised me, and my first instinct was to protect you from my past.”

  “Tell me everything, Hayden. You know all my secrets. Let me know all of yours.”

  “It will have to remain our secret. You can never tell anyone.”

  “I promise I won’t.”

  “My dad is the president of a motorcycle club called Knights Union. His name is Doug Knight, but he goes by Hawk.

  “Yes, my real last name is Knight. I’m using Wayne’s last name now. My pop’s brother, Ned, is the vice president. Well, we call him Watts, and Ricky is his son.

  “Years ago, my dad was driving through Indiana after meeting with someone about a business deal. He stopped at a bar and spotted my mom playing guitar in her band.

  “They fell for each other in an instant, so she moved to Arizona, and that’s how I came about. Even though my dad warned her, my mom was naïve and didn’t comprehend the reality of the MC life.”

  “What do you mean? Don’t they just ride motorcycles through towns and meet up to play cards? What are those called? Oh, poker runs.”

  In such a serious moment, I bust out laughing.