Wrong

by Stella Rhys

  “You are out of your mind.” My heart pounded so violently I thought it would knock my weight over. “But good for you. Good for you living so freely these past ten years, but you should know you lived at my expense.” My voice was finally coming out of hiding, rising from the bottom of my throat. “I was fifteen, and you were almost forty. You lied about everything to my mom, and then you harassed me for years after that with all those letters, because you still got off on talking about it. I still have them, you know.” I soaked in the expression of his panic. “I do. I have your letters. I have your diary entries. I have the one where you said you knew you had to have me the first day you met me, so don’t talk to me about remembering incorrectly because you’re the one who refused to let me forget.”

  Owen breathed deeply through his nostrils. His pleasant features contorted to a grotesque look I found much more fitting for him. Steady on my feet, I glared at him – at the man who had damaged my family beyond repair. I took satisfaction in the fear on his face, and I savored every word I was about to say to him.

  “You’re sub-human, Owen. And once you’re done living with the despicable things you did to my family, you’re going to rot in Hell.”

  Owen blinked at me for a second, speechless. But then his ugliness returned. “Alright, now you listen to me, sweetie,” he said through his teeth. But just as he started toward me, a shrill voice came from behind.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  Owen blinked past me. “Riley. Hey. Hey, hey, take it easy, alright? I’m just – ”

  “You need to get the fuck out now.”

  Riley’s voice was so crystal clear it practically echoed throughout the store. For that moment, time stood still. I saw Owen’s look of panic. I saw everybody stop to stare. Then I turned to see Riley fly past me in a flash of shimmering blonde. And suddenly, she was shoving Owen, wailing on him, screaming for him to leave. Her closed fists landed with powerful thuds to his chest, and it wasn’t long before staffers came running. I watched in shock as the scene unraveled around me. Blood rushed in my ears, and the sound combined with my sister’s shrieking deafened me.

  “Piece of shit, get out! Get the fuck away from us!” she screeched, mascara smudged under her lightning blue eyes as someone yanked her off of him.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

  The apology came from a manager. To Owen. He stood between him and us, creating a wall as if we were the danger. He told Owen to take the wine he held in his hands. He was sorry, so the wine was on the house. My mouth fell open when I saw the bottles of Chardonnay he had his in his grip.

  “Cunt.” Riley’s voice was so guttural she sounded possessed.

  But I didn’t blame her because in that second, I was realizing the same thing. We hadn’t run into Owen by chance. He wasn’t here just because. He had come to see my mother. He was buying her the wine he knew she liked. It was no stretch to imagine that she’d invited him. Her weak spot for him was debilitating, and it always had been.

  “I swear to God, come near my family again and I’ll have you killed,” Riley threatened Owen on our way out. He stood still, just staring at us with big, innocent eyes, letting the manager heap apologies upon him while his staff threatened to call the police on us, angrily shoving us out the front doors.

  I didn’t resist it. I wanted out. I wanted to be as far away from the situation as possible. So I held Riley tight as I pulled her to the car, taking her keys and hugging her as hard as I could for as long as she cried. I stared out at the empty parking lot, at the main road and all the quaint wooden signs with their striped awnings. This was the town I thought I’d start anew in after Mom moved us away from Owen. I’d spent so many days of my summers across the street, under the red and white sign of the Italian ice shop. It was closed now, but we were always there every first day of the summer, when it opened its doors. I stared out at all of it. But as I did, I finally realized I was done trying to call this place my home.

  When we finally climbed into the car, I got behind the wheel while Riley got in on the passenger side. We sat in silence for what felt like another eternity, and it felt like I could hear both our hearts pounding under our chests. But when Riley finally broke the silence, her words surprised me.

  “I handed Travis divorce papers yesterday.”

  I blinked at her. “Oh.” I thought this was going to be our conversation now. That we’d move past what we just saw. I wouldn’t have minded it, but that wasn’t the case.

  “I owe you an apology, Sash,” Riley blurted. She took my hand in hers and squeezed it for several seconds before turning her eyes to me. “I was never there for you. Back when it all happened. I wasn’t there for you the way I should have been.”

  “Riley – ”

  “No, trust me. I knew it at the time. But I couldn’t seem to stop myself from going out instead of being there for you, or sounding impatient when you tried to talk about it. I just didn’t know how to talk to you. I didn’t feel like I knew how to make it any better, and I was annoyed that this was our life now. We were so normal before he came along. Better than normal. We were like three sisters, you, me and Mom. And then it turned to shit, and a part of me blamed you, and that is so fucking wrong.”

  I squeezed her hand. “You were seventeen. What seventeen-year-old knows how to handle that situation?”

  “What fifteen-year-old does?” Riley countered. “I don’t know how you survived without me or Mom letting you talk about it. Ever. I don’t know how you made it out when we treated you like that.”

  “I found my ways.” With Liam. And only Liam. “And I’m okay now. But hearing you acknowledge it helps. More than I even imagined it would,” I said, ignoring my tears to wipe hers. “Really.”

  “Good.” Riley nodded. She looked at me. “I don’t agree with most of the things she does, you know. Mom. Just because I’m supposed to be like her mini-me doesn’t mean I agree with her. I just nod along because that’s my job, and that’s just what’s easy.”

  “I know.” We were quiet for another second. I looked down at our empty laps. I attempted a laugh, but it didn’t quite come out. “So, what are we going to tell her? About why we came home without the wine?”

  “Say her boyfriend will fucking get it to her, since she clearly invited him up here.” Riley shook her head as she stared out the windshield. “It’s not the first time she’s done that, you know.”

  “Done what?”

  “Tried to see Owen after leaving him. Made excuses for him. Once he spouted enough bullshit about you… about how you started it… she was right back to wanting to be with him. We were back in New York by then, but she bought a train ticket and everything so he could come by. I overheard her and I screamed at her and fought with her for three hours until she canceled their date.”

  I stared at Riley, having been clueless to that fact. So she had defended me in some way. Just not to my face. Riley squeezed my hand tighter than ever.

  “Mom is Mom, but you’re my sister, Sasha. Everything we go through, we go through together, whether we like it or not.”

  I nodded.

  We sat another wordless twenty minutes before I drove us back to the house. To my relief, it was empty. I figured everyone was running some kind of errand. I didn’t object. I needed the time to think. Riley and I couldn’t figure out if we’d stay, or if we’d tell Mom that we saw her dirty secret at the liquor store. But as it turned out, the answers seemed to be yes and no. Neither of us had the energy to drive home, and when Mom came back, neither of us spoke a word to her. I didn’t know how I felt about staying or sitting through a huge family dinner with her, but I was too tired to think about it.

  Before Liam even got home, I fell asleep with Riley in her bed.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Downstairs, I could hear the distinct sounds of my relatives streaming into the house. More specifically, I could hear my Aunt Karen and her famous belly laugh as she harassed Riley about something o
r another. It was a delightful, ridiculous sound, and generally contagious to even the likes of Vic, but as I knelt on the floor of my bedroom, I couldn’t bring myself to smile.

  I had just told Liam everything I had promised to yesterday.

  I told him about the first time Ethan came to the bar. I told him everything Ethan did, and every word he said. I told him about the fact that I’d lied by omission. I never revealed the existence of Owen’s letters. For starters, they had only begun coming to me when I was living with Ethan, and by that time, I revealed far less about my life to Liam. But even if I had, I feared Liam would force me to use them to confront my mother, and I wasn’t ready for that then. I was still praying for a miracle then.

  With just those confessions, a dark cloud fell over Liam. He was dressed and ready for dinner in a crisp button-down, belted and neatly tucked in, but he sat at the edge of my bed, unmoving. He leaned with his elbows on his knees like a statue made from stone. His glinting eyes were the only sign of life, and I knew he was seething, but I forced myself to go on.

  I told him about the day I went to see Ethan – how I’d gone alone to his apartment to try and retrieve the letters in my old nightstand. I told him that he’d adopted the dog I had wished for, and that I could have my letters if I’d go back to him. And finally, I told him about last night with Riley at the liquor store – every detail down to Mom’s bottle of wine in Owen’s hand. It was forever silent after that, but I could almost hear the adrenaline running through Liam’s veins. I felt as if I could actually see his blood rushing under his skin, pumping fire through his muscled limbs. Downstairs, I could hear laughter and teasing and wine bottles uncorking, but in up in my room, I felt as if we might be at the very edge of disaster, because never in my life had I seen Liam so angry.

  “Please say something,” I begged quietly. Individually, my confessions were infuriating. Together, revealed in one breath, I feared they could threaten someone’s life. Owen’s, Ethan’s – maybe even Liam’s. “You have to be calm,” I breathed.

  “I can’t.” His reply came straightaway and I fell to my knees in front of him.

  “You promised me, Liam.”

  “I could’ve killed him then. I could still kill him now.”

  “But you won’t, Liam, because it’s over. I faced him, I said what I needed to say, and after tonight, I’m done. I’m done trying to impress my mother or make her love me. I don’t care.”

  Liam’s eyes bore into me. I could see the conflict behind them. He wanted to be relieved and overjoyed by my statement, but there was too much that still plagued him. “If you’re done, why are we even staying tonight?”

  “It’s my last night with them, Liam. My aunts and uncles and cousins. I love them, but they come in a package deal with my mother, and if I’m done with her forever after tonight, I probably won’t see them all in one room again. So it’s my goodbye. They don’t know it, but that’s what it is.”

  “If you’re done with your family, does that mean we can come out with the truth?” Liam asked, his eyes hopeful but cautious. “Does that mean I can tell the world that I’m with Sasha Blakely? That I’m in love with her, and that I would do any fucking thing in the world for her?”

  I wet my lips, thinking of Riley. Not just Riley, but her divorce. “Yes, it means that. But not quite yet.”

  “For Christ’s sake, Sasha.”

  “It’s going to happen. It just needs to happen at the right time.” I knew he wanted to argue so I drew in a deep breath. “Riley’s getting a divorce,” I exhaled. “She’s sensitive now. She went through a lot yesterday, too, and I honestly don’t know right now where her relationship with our mother stands, so for her sake, we need to hold off. But only for a little bit, because I don’t think she can handle another bombshell just yet.” I took his hands in mine. “Beyond that, I need you to swear to me, Liam, that you won’t say anything to my mom tonight. I don’t want it to all come out tonight. I don’t want to punish my poor relatives who have been cooking all day with some crazy, horrible dinner. I just want tonight to pass so we can move on. Okay?”

  Liam gazed down at me with a storm behind his eyes. But taking my hand, he pulled me to my feet and brought me onto his lap. “Okay,” he murmured, his hands cupping my thighs as he kissed me with a surprising sweetness – an ease I’d never felt before in my life. Draping my arms around his shoulders, I melted into him. I smiled against his lips as he grasped my waist and laid me down, kissing me on the bed I’d spent years fantasizing about him in. Under the weight of his strong body, I prayed that this was it – that this night would mark the start of an us that was drama-free, and so damned peaceful we’d have to think about nothing in the world but loving each other. It sounded like such a simple wish, but to me, it was like climbing a mountain.

  I thanked God that we were finally halfway there.

  * * *

  I waited several minutes after Liam to go downstairs. When I did, I saw every one of my relatives already seated at the massive table, and my Aunt Karen immediately catching my eye with one of our looks. We always had an odd bond and a tendency to gossip without saying a word. It was usually with these wiggly-browed looks she’d shoot me throughout the night, and they were generally about someone who had had too much to drink. But tonight, it was about the hundred-twenty pound elephant at the table named Bree Dalton.

  She was sitting next to Liam wearing a floral mini-dress and being flirty enough that Aunt Karen flashed me her most scandalous look to date. “Swear to God, she’s been trying to give him a handy under the table for the past ten minutes!” she muttered in my ear on her way to the kitchen for wine.

  I snorted. Taking the seat next to Riley, I found myself directly across from Liam. Our eyes met in a tender moment that acknowledged what we had just spoken about in my room, but I averted my gaze when I saw Bree lean into him, her hand obviously sliding down to his knee.

  “Poor guy,” Aunt Karen muttered in my ear as she came back. She was barely in her chair before she went ahead and said exactly what was on her mind. “So, Bree, right? Tell me – what’s going on here. You said you’re not the girlfriend, you’re not even dating, so who are you?”

  “I… I don’t know. Pamela invited me,” Bree said, her cringe half a giggle.

  “Pam – explain yourself. Why’d you take this poor girl away from her family on Thanksgiving? Don’t you think she has better places to be?”

  As usual, my mother conveyed her distaste for the topic with silence. In a blue pantsuit and pearls, she responded with a dainty flick of the wrist, laying her napkin smooth over her lap. Across the table, I could actually feel Liam roll his eyes. To my left, Riley spoke up in a mock ladylike tone.

  “Oh, you know how Mom meddles,” she said. “She needs to see people paired up. She feels threatened by those who can stand to be alone sometimes.”

  “I’m sorry?” Mom shot daggers at Riley as my cousin Holly choked on her wine.

  But as quickly as the drama started, it ended. I did my best to steer the topic into the harmless directions my family generally enjoyed, like football and movies and recent vacations. I wanted at least one decent conversation with every one of my relatives at the table, even if it meant passing the tongs or the wine to my mother every once in awhile. It wasn’t as if I made eye contact with her. After last night, I couldn’t, but I refused to let that get in the way of hearing about Aunt Karen’s trip to Iceland, or the baby my cousin, Matt, and his wife were soon adopting. For awhile, faking it wasn’t even that hard. I was almost enjoying myself fully – almost thinking about things besides Owen and Riley and the stress I’d just unleashed upon Liam.

  But within a few hours, the tension made a swift return.

  “Are you dating anyone yet, Sash?”

  The question came from Holly. I tried not to blame her for it because at sixteen, she was obsessed with the romantic lives of others. Of course, it was the perfect question to hush the table with. I stretched my lips into a smile f
or her. “Not yet. You know, taking my time.” I couldn’t help the quickest glance in Liam’s direction. I had to bite back a grin when I caught the smirk on his lips.

  “Well, when you find someone, you’ll know,” Aunt Karen said easily. “And he’ll probably be a million times better than Ethan what’s-his-name.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

  The doubt came from Mom. And then there were crickets. I could practically hear the squeaky discomfort as everyone turned their heads just a bit to peer at her. “Jesus Christ. What does that mean?” Aunt Karen finally asked.

  “Exactly what it sounds like, Karen,” Mom said plainly. Tensing, my eyes went to Liam, trying to make sure he was still as easy and relaxed as he was a second ago. But that smirking expression was gone. His jaw was tight as a bow now, and he stared hard at nothing in particular. I knew he was working tirelessly to keep his gaze from Mom. I knew he was keeping himself away from the temptation of saying something. I felt awful for whatever I was putting him through, so I forced a laugh and tried to keep the chatter moving again.

  “Anyway, we don’t have to talk about this...”

  “Yeah, let’s not,” Aunt Karen said shooting Mom a stern look. She let herself boil in her own anger for a second, but when it stayed quiet for another two seconds, Aunt Karen clapped her hands. “You know what – I think everyone needs a little more wine. Let the kids try a sip, too. Better to drink at home, right? Come on.” She let out that boisterous laugh of hers, and I had to crack a grin despite feeling uneasy. Riley was an unpredictable block of tension next to me and across the table, I couldn’t guess what Liam was thinking. Suddenly, I was wondering if a last night with my relatives was worth what felt like a ticking time bomb.

  “I’ll go get more,” I volunteered the second Karen poured out the last few drops of white wine. I was barely in the kitchen before I heard Liam’s chair push out from the table. When I turned from the fridge, I found him coming toward me with intensity. Wordlessly, he took the bottles of wine from my hands and set them down on the counter.