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The Second Sex

Page 1

by Michael Robbins




  ALSO BY MICHAEL ROBBINS

  ALIEN VS. PREDATOR

  PENGUIN BOOKS

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA) LLC

  375 Hudson Street

  New York, New York 10014

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  penguin.com

  A Penguin Random House Company

  First published in Penguin Books 2014

  Copyright © 2014 by Michael Robbins

  Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

  Page 51 constitutes an extension of this copyright page.

  LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

  Robbins, Michael, 1972–

  [Poems. Selections]

  The second sex / Michael Robbins.

  pages cm.—(Penguin Poets)

  eBook ISBN 978-0-698-16901-2

  I. Title.

  PS3618.O315244A6 2014

  811'.6—dc23

  2014014466

  Version_1

  Contents

  Also by Michael Robbins

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Springtime in Chicago in November

  Live Rust

  Sonnets to Edward Snowden

  The Second Sex

  That’s Incredible!

  Be Myself

  Günter Glieben Glauchen Glöben

  Seasons in the Abyss

  To Anthony Madrid

  Not Fade Away

  Out of the Cellar

  Peel Off the Scabs

  Mississippi

  Sunday Morning

  40th Anniversary Edition

  Overnight

  Within a Budding Grove

  Poem Beginning with a Line from Samuel Johnson

  In the Air Tonight

  Friend of the Devil

  Rhymes

  The Song Remains the Same

  Sweat, Piss, Jizz & Blood

  Country Music

  Oh Wow

  On Making Mixes for Girls Who Won’t Give Death Metal a Chance

  Butcher Holler

  Lose Myself

  Michael Jackson

  Political Poem for Michael Robbins to Sing

  Twentieth Century Fox

  To the Drone Vaguely Realizing Eastward

  Sweet Virginia

  Sticky Fingers

  Big Country

  Out Here in the Fields

  Acknowledgments and Notes

  About the Author

  to the memory of Bill Knott

  Look at your money. No one is smiling.

  —ALLAN PETERSON

  Springtime in Chicago in November

  Springtime in Chicago in November.

  My forty-first year to heaven.

  My left hand wants to know

  what my right hand is doing.

  Oh. Sorry I asked.

  First comes love, which I disparage.

  I blight with plagues a baby carriage.

  Green means go and red means red.

  Now we’re cooking with Sudafed.

  Steer by, deerfly. I hereby declare

  the deer tick on my derriere

  a heretic. Derelict, hunker down.

  Get the Led out, Goodman Brown.

  Get thee behind me, Nathan.

  Horseman, ramble on.

  Springtime snows white hairs on me.

  Green means go and go means gone.

  Live Rust

  In the clearing I stand,

  a boxer! Putting all your shit

  in boxes, dragging the boxes

  to this stupid clearing.

  A man walks into his forties.

  Says, You lost me at “hello.”

  I’m tying balloon animals.

  Here you go. That’s a rooster.

  To burn out or to fade away?

  I’m keeping my options open.

  I’m looking for option C.

  I’m boning up on Coptic.

  I’m scrolling past the Dead Sea,

  talking to Christ on the road

  from Kiss My Ass to Damascus.

  I kick my prick. I refute it THUS.

  Be tawdry for me, thou.

  Be like unto Sierra Mist

  when it opens in the first

  cold of spring. Be a Chippewa.

  According to the oral history,

  outside the Tastee Freez

  you sucked on a chili dog

  with your head between your knees.

  The United States of Fuck You Too

  is what you’re about to receive.

  You can shoot all the kids you like,

  but you can never leave.

  The mind is a terrible thing.

  That outboard motor.

  The tedium is the message.

  The chimp signs hugs in his enclosure.

  Is this Mick Jagger which I see before me?

  Come, let me clutch thee.

  I consider the lilies beneath me.

  I tell the Magdalene not to touch me.

  I tell the miniature schnauzer not to swarm.

  I tell my willy it’s getting warm.

  I tell the content to fuck the form.

  Sonnets to Edward Snowden

  Who is the United States?

  The grassy knoll elaborates.

  Ask not what the Dew can do for you.

  Ask about our special rates

  for armed forces personnel.

  All right, then, I’ll go to hell.

  These colors don’t run—

  red, white, and carbohydrate gel.

  Navy SEALs are good to go

  for AvP 2.0.

  All along the White House fence

  the Redskins mascot leads the chants.

  Full fathom five Osama lies.

  The blue-chip Dow industrials rise.

  Who is the United States?

  A snail paces by the Golden Gate’s

  anti-swan-dive hotline sign.

  The snail is going to be fine.

  Disabling a suicide

  detector is prohibited.

  A snail searches a starless sky

  with the bionic arm he calls an eye.

  The stars have got the bee disease.

  The disappearing colonies

  are no longer buzzworthy.

  So ferry cross New Jersey.

  I’m a black kid in a hoodie.

  This land’s the place I love. Et odi.

  Who is the United States?

  A grief ago—I’m bad with dates—

  our fathers brought forth a queer

  shoulder in a convex mirror.

  I find it hard.

  It was hard to found.

  Unscrew the lids from the jars!

  Prometheus outbound

  on Aeroflot follows the Moskva

  down to Gorky Park.

  I’m proud to be a terrorist.


  Mistakes were made at Plymouth Rock.

  You might not be aware of this.

  The ant’s a centaur, more or less.

  The Second Sex

  After the first sex, there is no other.

  I stick my gender in a blender

  and click send. Voilà!

  Your new ex-girlfriend.

  You cuckold me with your husband.

  I move a box with Ludacris.

  The captain turns on, we begin our descent.

  Be gentle with me, I’m new to this.

  I say the wrong thing. I have OCD.

  My obsessive compulsions are disorderly.

  I say the wrong thing, did I already say?

  I drive my dominatrix away.

  The coyote drives her in a false-bottomed van.

  He drops her in the desert. The bluffs are tan.

  She’ll get a job at Chili’s picking up butts.

  I feel ya, Ophelia, I say to my nuts.

  And there is pansies. That’s for thoughts.

  That’s Incredible!

  I will pull an airplane with my teeth

  and I will pull an airplane with my hair.

  I write about cats. Cats, when you read this,

  write about me. Be the change you want to see.

  I’ve legally changed my name to Whites Only.

  Changed it back, I should say.

  DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME made me

  the man I am today.

  That, and the University of Phoenix.

  Old man, take a look at my life.

  Charles Simic, in the gloaming, with a roach,

  take a look at my life. I’m a lot like you.

  A man stands up and says I will catch

  a bullet in my teeth! That’s incredible!

  He eats a sword, hilt first, and spits

  up a million people persons.

  A dolphin pulls an airplane with its blowhole

  and keeps the black box for itself.

  Bottleneck dolphins don’t even have bones,

  yet here we are, giving them medals . . .

  This is my ass. And that is a hole

  in ground zero. I know which is which.

  It’s the one with the smoke pouring out.

  This is my handle; this is my spout.

  Be Myself

  I took back the night. Wrested it

  from the Chinese, many of whom

  were shorter than me.

  Two billion outstretched Chinese

  hands, give or take a few

  thousand amputees.

  A cheap knockoff, the night

  proved to be—Nokla

  not Nokia on the touch screen.

  Well, even Old Peng gotta eat,

  Confucius say. Or maybe that

  was Cassius Clay.

  In me, folks, a movable object

  meets a resistible force. I haven’t

  worked a day since the accident

  of birth. Born of woman,

  my father the same. Make love

  then war. I’ll bring round the car.

  These children that I spit on

  are immune to my consultations.

  I’ll have none myself. It isn’t

  (Write it!) a fiasco. I am small,

  I contain platitudes.

  Günter Glieben Glauchen Glöben

  Says here to burn the rich and take their shit.

  I’m paraphrasing. I’m barely grazing

  the surplus. Do the rich have inner lives,

  like little lambs and Antigone?

  They never give me their money.

  Bill Gates, the great humanitarian,

  stands upon a peak in Darien.

  I said Bill, I believe this is killing me.

  A sculptor sees the statue in the slab,

  the shiv in the toothbrush. The stab.

  I plump for Red October. Sink or swim

  or wade or creep or fly or soak

  it all in kerosene. Miguel Hernández,

  tell me, if you know, why there’s a darkness

  on the edge of credit. My student loans?

  Forget it. Burn it up. Let’s go for broke.

  Watch the shares go up in smoke. Nostalgia’s

  just another word that starts with No.

  Seasons in the Abyss

  Du Fu, you dufus, that’s not

  a goose. You’re drunk.

  Please allow me to introduce . . .

  no, that’s not your horse.

  (No, nor woman neither.)

  Into every life a little

  Freud must fall. I’m a fraud.

  I stole that pun. Like I said:

  I’m afraid. Into every light

  a little moth must blunder . . .

  Cue power ballad.

  I don’t know what to call a spade.

  The sky will lately swish stuff.

  I open my barbaric yap.

  Du Fu joins me on the veranda.

  We are old and full of crap.

  The millionaires across the way,

  their homes are all ablaze.

  We like it when those homes collapse

  like moths before clichés.

  To Anthony Madrid

  Distant is our exit, unmoving the traffic;

  useful are the implements of a trade;

  movies in 3-D are intolerable.

  Ash on the wind, nobody’s naming names;

  neither the drive-thru voice that takes my order

  nor the divine can be clearly understood.

  Bleak is the arbor, pungent the homeless;

  apples for apples, a fool’s swap;

  never write down your password.

  Left lane closed, stonecraft asks patience;

  an athlete’s shoe, many covet it;

  the wise are full of loathing.

  Tick harbors pathogens, bull’s-eye rash;

  who trusts will be deceived;

  one in five goes undiagnosed.

  Summer in the city, girl out of college

  cannot install the A/C;

  three dollars to withdraw cash.

  Long the line for coffee, great my need;

  the shaven adepts seat their gods in grain;

  no right turn on red.

  North wind, trees bow down;

  gaily skitters the Juicy Juice carton;

  a car alarm is no sign of theft.

  Fresh out the kitchen is the remix,

  strong the noise of the ambulance bay;

  pull out slow until you can see.

  Buttered and shaggy the bees;

  a man fishes in a dumpster,

  I look away; angels are real.

  Longtime listener, first-time caller;

  dogs know more than they let on;

  show me on the doll where I touched you.

  The cleric bars the clinic doors;

  single-celled, the House Majority Whip;

  very well then, I contradict you.

  Distant our exit, unmoving the traffic;

  useless the smoking cessation kit;

  a wise adage, Expect Delays.

  Not Fade Away

  Half of the Beatles have fallen

  and half are yet to fall.

  Keith Moon has set. Hank Williams

  hasn’t answered yet.

  Children sing for Alex Chilton.

  Whitney Houston’s left the Hilton.

  Hendrix, Guru, Bonham, Janis.

  They have a tendency to vanish.

  Bolan, Bell, and Boon by car.

  How I wonder w
here they are.

  Hell is now Jeff Hanneman’s.

  Adam Yauch and three Ramones.

  [This space held in reserve

  for Zimmerman and Osterberg,

  for Bruce and Neil and Keith,

  that sere and yellow leaf.]

  Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings,

  Stinson, Sterling, Otis Redding.

  Johnny Thunders and Joe Strummer,

  Ronnie Dio, Donna Summer.

  Randy Rhoads and Kurt Cobain,

  Patsy Cline and Ronnie Lane.

  Poly Styrene, Teena Marie.

  Timor mortis conturbat me.

  Out of the Cellar

  Windows to wash and dust to dust.

  You must improve your archaic bust.

  In the name of extremes, and of

  Krispy Kremes, and of mascara metal,

  amen. I mean, come on,

  I’ve known rivers. I know seems.

  I rent my shoes. Daddy worked

  the pneumatic tubes. Hold steady,

  Holy See. You’ve really got

  a hold on me.

  Because your friends don’t dance,

  I’m applying for grants. Thanks,

  Guildenstern and gentle Rosencrantz.

  I don my customary suit of solemn black.

  It takes a nation of morons to hold me back.

  Peel Off the Scabs

  Peel off the scabs! Unscrew

  the daughters themselves from their jambs!

  God became a man,

  surely I can do the same.

  I don’t know wrong from light.

  I can’t tell my bright from left.

  I really must be going.

  I must be going soft.

  I and I am I because I know

  I wanna be your little dog.

  Don’t spit me out. Just swallow me.

  I’ll be your burning synagogue.

  O Captain! my Tennille! the Eagles

  will come and pull out his eyes.

  Jesus coming back, they say,

  and we’ll all shout Surprise!

  Is it any wonder I’ve got

  too much blood on my hands? The calls

  are coming from inside the house.

  I’m sick of my insane demands.

  Mississippi

  Old news, Orion, old Ford:

 

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