Snowflakes at Lavender Bay

by Sarah Bennett

Salt water stung the back of her eyes again. She’d not seen hide nor hair of Owen since he’d walked out of her hospital room. She hadn’t expected him to be thrilled about the baby, but his utter rejection of getting involved had broken something inside of her. Rationally, she could understand how his past would affect his thinking when it came to a family, but the cold blankness on his face was a look she’d never forget. Or forgive. ‘We’re…umm, we’re taking a bit of break.’

  Mick’s face fell. ‘Not because of what I said before, I hope? Because believe me, he was a bloody marvel last night. He was the one who sent Jack and Eliza along here in case I needed to close up and come and see you.’

  A bloody marvel right up until the moment she’d really needed him. ‘No, Dad. Nothing to do with that. We just rushed into things a bit so I’m taking a step back. We’re still good friends.’ The lie tasted bitter on her tongue. ‘Beth and Eliza are popping in to see me in a bit.’

  That bit of news brightened him up, at least. ‘Well, they know the way up by now. I’ll fetch you that tea.’

  Libby let her head fall back on the pillow, her gaze tracing over the familiar cracks in the ceiling plaster. She shifted one hand towards her stomach before letting it drop back on the bed. There was a tiny little human growing inside her right that minute. The logistics of it were blowing her mind. She swallowed hard. They were also making her a little bit squeamish.

  She heard the creak of footsteps on the stairs outside and was just pushing herself back into a sitting position when Eliza appeared around her half-open door, a couple of mugs in hand. ‘Hello, you.’

  Libby smiled. ‘Hello, you.’

  Eliza placed the mugs on the bedside table then folded her legs beneath her at the other end of the bed. ‘Well, aren’t you full of surprises?’

  ‘Apparently so.’ A loose thread on the blanket caught Libby’s eye and she began to fiddle with it, running it through her fingers over and over again. ‘Did you see Owen this morning?’

  A frown marred Eliza’s creamy forehead. ‘You haven’t spoken to him?’

  Unable to speak, Libby shook her head.

  ‘Then you won’t know he’s had to go back to London on urgent business.’

  ‘Oh, I see.’ She hated herself for being right about him. There’d been a tiny kernel of hope left that after a night to get over the shock, he might step up to the plate, but apparently he’d made a run for it.

  She sighed. None of this was his fault. He hadn’t asked for this and she wouldn’t tie him down with her decision to keep the baby. It hadn’t even occurred to her for one moment that she wouldn’t go through with the pregnancy. She’d meant what she’d said to him about wanting a brood, and whilst these weren’t circumstances she’d have chosen to begin her family, she would treat the baby as the gift it was.

  ‘I’m not sure you do see,’ Eliza said carefully. ‘He was pretty devastated when he came home from the hospital last night and wouldn’t speak to any of us, just went straight to his room. He got a phone call from work during breakfast this morning, and he was absolutely torn up about it. He wasn’t going to go until I promised him I’d be here to keep an eye on you.’ Leaning forward, Eliza gathered her mug into her cupped hands and blew across the surface. ‘And what’s this about not wanting to tell your dad? What’s going on in your head, Libs? I can’t work you out at all.’

  ‘Dad needs a break. I’m not a little girl anymore, I can deal with my own problems.’ God, it was all such a bloody mess. Clutching at her hair, she gave it a tug as though the little bite of pain would somehow bring some sense to her riotous thoughts. ‘I’m glad Owen’s gone. It’s best all round if we end it now.’

  ‘But why, for heaven’s sake?’ Eliza looked genuinely bewildered.

  ‘Because he doesn’t want to have children. He said as much that day on the beach when Noah had his awful accident and Jack was beside himself with guilt and worry. And he told me straight out last night that he couldn’t do it.’ Leaning forward, she placed a hand on Eliza’s leg. ‘We both know what it’s like for a child having to cope with a parent who resents them.’ They fell silent as they contemplated the terrible time Beth had had growing up with a mother who’d gone out of her way to make Beth feel like a constant inconvenience.

  Eliza sighed. ‘Maybe he didn’t really mean it. We all say things off the cuff when a situation is theoretical. It was bound to be a shock, just give him a bit of time to get his head around it.’

  She didn’t understand, because she didn’t know the whole picture, but it wasn’t Libby’s place to share Owen’s secrets. He’d told her about his own difficult childhood in confidence. ‘I don’t think it’s going to make any difference.’

  ‘You can’t know that! Just give him a chance, Libs.’

  Libby tugged a handful of hair in frustration. She could pretend to only have the baby’s best interests at heart, but this was about self-preservation as much as anything. ‘And what if I do that and he ends up resenting me and the baby for trapping him here? What if he decides to try, even though I know he doesn’t want to, and then he leaves me in a few years’ time because he hates me and the life I’ve forced him into?’

  ‘Stop that! You’re not forcing him to do anything. If he comes back and says he wants to be with you and the baby, then why not give yourself a chance at happiness?’

  She knew Eliza meant well, but it was easy for her now she and Jack were all loved up and about to move in together. ‘Not everyone gets a happy ending, it’s not that simple.’ She glanced up through her fringe. ‘I love him, Eliza. More than I knew it was possible to love another human being. If I don’t let him go now, I’m afraid it might break me into more pieces than I’ll ever be able to put back together again. I can’t take that risk. Not for me, and not for this baby.’ She clasped a protective hand around her still flat stomach. It still didn’t seem real, that there was the potential for a whole living breathing person floating around in there somewhere.

  ‘Oh, Libby.’ In an instant, Eliza had her arms wrapped around her, rocking her as she cried. ‘This is exactly why Jack tried to break things off with me after Noah’s accident. We can’t withdraw from life in the hope it stops us from getting hurt. And imagine what you might be giving up. A whole lifetime of happiness with a man you love, and if my eyes are any judge, a man who absolutely adores you too.’

  ‘You don’t understand.’ Libby hiccupped through her tears. ‘It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, or how hard you try, there’s no guarantees in life. Look what happened to Mum and Dad, and now he wants to leave me, too…’ She clamped a hand over her mouth and bent double as though she could hold in all the pain threatening to spill out of her.

  ‘What? Oh my God, Libby, what are you saying? I thought your dad was going on holiday?’ Eliza gripped Libby’s face between her palms and lifted it. Using her thumbs, she wiped the tears from Libby’s cheeks. ‘Shh. Come on now, calm down a minute and tell me what’s going on.’

  Libby took a couple of snivelling breaths, coughed and tried to speak more slowly. ‘He…he’s g…g…going to look for somewhere to live. He w…wants to leave the bay.’

  Eliza’s hands fell away, her sage-green eyes wide with shock. ‘You’re not serious?’

  Grabbing a handful of tissues from the box beside her bed, Libby wiped her face and blew her nose, nodding all the time at Eliza. ‘He told me he can’t bear to be here without Mum. That it’s been a nightmare all these years since we lost her, and he only stayed so I could be here with you and Beth.’

  Tears welled in Eliza’s eyes. ‘He really said that to you? I can’t believe it. Oh, how awful for him, and for you, too. Oh, Libs, what will you do?’

  Libby shook her head. ‘I don’t know. He’s already found someone to buy this place. Keeps going on about how he’s denied me a life of my own all these years and that we’ll split the money so I can go travelling, or some other such rubbish he’s convinced himself I need to do.’

  ‘But what
about your plans for the teashop?’ Eliza grabbed her arm. ‘And how long have you known about all this?’

  Feeling a bit sheepish, Libby looked away. ‘A few weeks now.’

  ‘A few weeks! Why the bloody hell didn’t you tell us?’ Eliza gave her arm a little shake. ‘Libby Stone, I’m completely bloody furious with you! We’re supposed to be your friends and you’ve kept all this from us.’

  ‘Kept all what from us?’ Beth said as she entered the room. ‘What’s going on, Eliza? I could hear you shouting from halfway down the stairs.’

  Red-faced, Eliza sat back on her haunches. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice.’ She turned her attention back to Libby who was about ready to melt into a puddle and slide off the side of the bed if it meant she could avoid the hurt and accusation in her best friend’s tone. ‘I can’t believe you kept this to yourself.’

  Beth sank down on the other side of the bed. ‘Kept what? She only found out about the baby last night, Eliza. Give her a chance to catch her breath.’

  ‘I’m not talking about the baby. I’m talking about Mick planning to sell up and retire to Spain. Madam here’s known about it for weeks and didn’t think to share the news.’

  ‘What?’

  Libby held her hands up in surrender. ‘Don’t you start as well, B, I really don’t think I can stand it if you’re both mad at me on top of everything else. I didn’t keep it a secret to hurt either of you, I just wanted some time to try and sort things out for myself. You’re both really busy trying to get your businesses established, and then there’s the restaurant and Jack’s farm, and all…’ She trailed off, her once robust reasons sounding ridiculous now she voiced them aloud.

  ‘Oh, Libs.’ Beth took her hand. ‘You silly thing. We’re never so busy that we don’t have time to help you. Look at all you’ve done for the two of us over the past few months.’

  She shrugged. ‘Yeah, but that was different.’ It sounded weak to her own ears, but it had been different. Libby had been so excited to have them both home, she would’ve done anything to help them get re-established. ‘Besides, I wanted to prove to myself that I could work it out on my own.’

  Eliza and Beth exchanged a look of exasperation. ‘If this was one or other of us saying that to you, there’d be hell to pay.’ Eliza softened her tone. ‘We don’t want to take over, nor to make you think we don’t trust you to cope with this, we just want to give you the same support you’ve always given us.’

  ‘Well, now I feel bloody awful,’ Libby grumbled, making the other two laugh.

  ‘Good!’

  ‘So you bloody should!’

  It was Libby’s turn to laugh. ‘Oh, girls, what the hell am I going to do?’ With a wail, she collapsed into their arms for a huge hug.

  ‘It’s a big gamble,’ Beth said about half an hour later once Libby had outlined her plans and shown them the file she’d pulled together for her appointment with the broker. ‘You don’t even know who the buyer for this place is. What if they’re not willing to let your dad out of the deal?’

  Libby shrugged. ‘They can’t have exchanged on it, because we wouldn’t be allowed to keep running the business, never mind live here if the ownership had legally changed hands. And if I’m only looking for a loan for half of what the place is worth, then surely that’s got to be a halfway decent risk for the bank or whatever? Even if I ended up having to sell the place, I’d still make enough to cover what I owed them.’

  Beth nodded, though she didn’t look all together sure. ‘I suppose so. It’s just a lot to take on, what with the baby and everything.’ Beth cringed. ‘Oh, God, I can’t believe I just said that. Even after all these years sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out. Ignore me. I think it’s a brilliant idea and I’m sure you’ll make a fantastic success of it.’ She leaned in for another quick hug.

  ‘What about Owen?’

  Eliza’s softly spoken question pulled Libby up short. ‘What about him? We already talked about that, and I made my position clear. You might not agree with it, but I’d ask you to respect it.’

  Eliza pulled a face. ‘I’m not talking about the baby, although you know what I think about that. I’m talking about asking him if he’ll help you with this place.’

  Was she serious? Libby gawped at her. ‘And say what? “Hi, I know I said I didn’t expect anything from you but how about buying me and our baby the building my dad already owns?”’ She shook her head at the mere suggestion of it.

  ‘No, not like that.’ Eliza folded her arms. ‘He originally came to the bay looking for investment opportunities. He missed out on the emporium, and the restaurant is only a partial investment and nothing on the scale of what the emporium was on the market for. You could offer it to him as a proper business deal. His investment in return for a percentage of the profits. You’d save on interest payments, and you wouldn’t have the risk of the bank changing their mind when they realise you’re pregnant.’

  She waved her off when Libby huffed, refusing to be distracted from hammering home her point. ‘Be realistic. Sexist or not, by the time you come to sign on the dotted line in a couple more months, you won’t be able to hide your condition. A single woman, starting a brand-new business and expecting a baby? Oh, they won’t couch it in those terms, they’ll give you some rubbish about change in market conditions, or blame it on Brexit like everyone seems to do with everything these days. But you have to face up to that being a real possibility.’

  Eliza was right, but it was all too much to think about right then. Maybe she should just come clean with her dad and see if the news about the baby didn’t change his mind about the whole thing. She shrugged the thought away almost as soon as she’d finished it. Her dad had given up so much for her already. He deserved the chance to retire, and if Spain was his destination of choice, then she would respect that. He needed to make that decision unencumbered by any sense of guilt or responsibility towards her. If she wasn’t prepared to let the baby keep Owen in Lavender Bay, then she definitely wasn’t going to use her dad as a way to make all her problems go away.

  ‘I’ll think about it,’ she said, more to keep Eliza off her back for a bit whilst she sorted everything through rather than with any deeper intention. ‘But let’s talk about something else for a while.’ Bending over, she retrieved her bag from the floor and fished out her scan. She placed the black-and-white image on the blanket between the three of them. ‘Meet Baby Stone.’

  Chapter 20

  ‘Answer the phone, please just answer the phone,’ Owen muttered to himself as Libby’s number cut to voicemail for the umpteenth time that day. Not that he could blame her for not answering. He’d left the bay while she was still in the hospital, summoned by an urgent phone call from Alex about a serious incident on one of their sites. She could’ve probably handled the crisis on her own, but he’d jumped straight into work mode, grateful for the distraction and to be back in an environment where he felt in control. Every time he thought about the baby, his heart started racing like he was having a panic attack. He knew nothing about being a father—nothing good anyway. He hadn’t told Libby any of that, though, had he? As far as she was concerned, he’d done a runner. She’d likely never speak to him again. Desperate to know she was okay, he’d called Sam, who’d assured him Libby was fine and being taken care of. The accusation in his tone had made it clear to Owen he should be the one looking after her. And he would, as soon as he’d sorted things out here. If he hadn’t blown it, and that was a very big if.

  A knock on his office door had him tossing his mobile on the desk behind him and standing up to greet the visitor Alex was ushering into the room. ‘Hiya, Tom. Take a seat, mate.’ He gestured to the little meeting table in the corner. ‘Can I get you a coffee?’

  The site foreman sank into one of the chairs and shook his head. ‘No, ta, Boss. Alex already offered.’ He scrubbed a hand over his thinning hair. ‘I’m really sorry about all this mess.’ The poor bloke looked devastated, and Owen�
�s heart went out to him. He’d spent the journey up and most of the night going through the reports as they trickled in from different sources about the accident on one of their construction sites. A load had slipped from one of their scaffolds. Thankfully without causing any injuries, but the consequences could’ve been disastrous. It wasn’t a reportable incident to the Health and Safety Executive, but Owen took his responsibilities seriously and had instructed a full-scale investigation to be carried out by their in-house safety team the moment Alex had called to notify him about the accident.

  ‘Why don’t you tell me in your own words what you remember about the other day. No pressure, I’m not going to take any notes and no one’s trying to catch you out. I just want to hear it straight from you.’

  Tom placed his arms on the table and sat up a little straighter. ‘I was in the office when it happened, reviewing the lifting plan for that gazebo thing.’ Owen nodded. Their client was having a large townhouse refurbished from top to bottom, including the installation of a rooftop garden, the central feature of which was a bespoke wrought-iron gazebo. Both the client and the designer had insisted it needed to be manufactured and constructed offsite and installed as a single piece. They were paying for it, so the project manager had found a way to make it work and hired a specialist lifting company to carry out that part of the works.

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘We’d just about finished when I heard this almighty bloody crash. We shot out the office and around the building to find an upturned barrow and a pile of smashed bricks scattered all over the ground.’ He pulled out his phone to show Owen a photo he’d already seen several versions of.

  ‘And do you know how it happened?’

  Tom shook his head. ‘There was a lump of dried render on the scaffold boards that no one had reported. Seems like the front wheel of the barrow hit that, knocking it off balance. The lad tried to hang on to it, but it slipped from his grasp and went straight through the edge protection.’ He closed his eyes for a second then stared straight at Owen. ‘Kid said the boards fell the moment the barrow touched them and when I inspected the area, the bolts were just lying loose on the ground.’