Throwing his briefs aside, I settled in between his thighs, salivating already at getting a taste of what I’d desired for so long—
“Wait.”
I froze.
He took a shaky breath. “Don’t I get to see you?”
I looked down to where I still wore my jeans, though they hung open from where he’d unbuttoned them. “Is that…what you want?” God knew I didn’t want to push him in any way, but fuck…the thought of being naked against him almost sent me straight into an orgasm.
When Reid nodded, licking his lips, there was no way I would deny him of anything he asked for.
I got to my feet as he sat up on his elbows, and then I hooked my thumbs under the waist of my own boxer briefs and pushed them down, along with my jeans, over my hips, letting them both drop to the ground before kicking them away.
Then I went to move back onto the bed, but Reid held his hand up.
“Just stay right there for a minute,” he murmured as his eyes trailed over me. My heart hammered under his perusal; I’d never been so open and vulnerable under someone’s gaze before, had never had anyone ask to just look at me, not the way Reid was looking at me. Like he wanted to memorize every inch, like my body held secrets he wanted to slowly uncover.
When his eyes met mine again, the affection I saw there had mixed with his yearning. “You’re beautiful.”
Beautiful. Me. This body of mine, imperfect and scarred, was somehow beautiful to this man, and it was then that I knew there’d be no holding back tonight, not for either of us.
With unsteady hands, I opened the drawer beside my bed and took out a bottle of lube and a condom and set them on top of the dresser. To his credit, Reid didn’t seem fazed by my assumption. In fact, as I climbed back onto the bed, he reached for the lube and condom and put them beside him on the mattress.
Oh fuck. He was ready, and we’d only just gotten started. I had to pinch the head of my cock to keep from coming right there on the spot, and when Reid noticed what I was doing, his nostrils flared.
“If you don’t want to come, you should’ve kept your jeans on,” he said, sitting up and moving my hand away so he could take a hold of my erection. Pre-cum beaded at the tip, and as he swirled his thumb over the head, my eyes practically rolled back in their sockets.
“Reid… Ah, shit,” I said, as he wrapped his hand around my length and began to jerk me off. My hips thrust forward of their own accord as I grabbed the back of Reid’s neck to hold on tight.
His hand was a fucking master; he knew exactly how hard, how long, and how to switch it up to bring me—and keep me—at the brink.
With a curse, I said, “Not yet,” and forced him onto his back before he could wring an orgasm out of me. My cock physically ached from the lack of his touch, but tonight wasn’t about me. No way. It was about the man beneath me, the one I’d fantasized about having in my bed for more months than I could remember at that moment. He was there, legs spread, and looking up at me the way I’d always imagined. And then he said two words that had me moving into action.
“Ollie…please.”
I positioned myself between Reid’s thighs, my mouth watering at the sight of him spread out before me. Then I hooked my arms beneath his legs and brought his hips up to my mouth like a feast I was dying to devour.
Which I was.
As my mouth sank down over Reid’s cock, his hips jerked up, and the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat.
“Oh God, Ollie,” he said, clutching the bedspread. “Oh God.”
Oh God was right, because His. Fucking. Taste. There was nothing like it, decadent and spicy, my new favorite meal. As I pulled back, I made circles around the head of his cock with my tongue, teasing before I sucked him back between my lips. The satisfaction I got from feeling his erection swelling inside my mouth was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I made this man crazy. That was evident by the groans I pulled out of him and the way his fingers in my hair tightened to the point of pain. I knew he was getting close, but I couldn’t decide whether I wanted him to come down my throat or in my ass.
Luckily, Reid made that decision for me.
“Ollie,” he said, breathless. “I want…” He couldn’t get out the words, so he lifted the condom packet lying next to him, and when my eyes caught on that, I slid back up his length with a pop.
I sat back on my heels. “Are you sure?”
“I’m very sure. I want to do this. I want to know what it feels like to be inside you.”
My eyes closed briefly, and when they opened, I knew he had to see the blazing inferno roaring inside them. “Then Reid?”
“Yes?”
“Put on the goddamn condom.”
With fumbling fingers, it took him a couple of tries to rip open the packet, but he managed to slide on the rubber on the first go. My ass clenched in anticipation of having him inside me, and I picked up the lube and flipped open the cap.
“Come here,” I said, and when he joined me, I poured the liquid into my palm and coated his dick. “You’re gonna need to use this. On me too.”
Reid shivered as I handed him the lube, and I took his chin between my thumb and forefinger. I kissed him slowly, thoroughly, passionately, telling him in that kiss exactly how much I wanted him, and as I did, the trembling subsided. This time, he was the one to push me onto my back, and the wicked grin curving his lips told me he was looking forward to this just as much as I was.
Scooting down the bed toward him, I bent my knees and spread my legs. With his cock jutting out in front of him, ready to take me, Reid looked at me—all of me—for the first time, and then he did something that had a smile curling my mouth. He licked his lips.
“Christ, you’re sexy,” he said, as he settled in between my thighs and poured more lube onto his sheathed dick. He angled his erection down as he poured, and I felt the liquid where I needed it.
“Get inside me, Reid.” The guttural sound coming out of my mouth didn’t sound like me, but it had Reid biting down hard on his lip as he lined his cock up against my hot hole.
I was ready, oh so fucking ready, and I was about to tell him so, when he slowly pushed the head of his erection inside me. On a gasp, he pulled back out, but I reached up for his hips and held him there.
“Just do it. Slowly. You won’t hurt me.” I guided him back to my entrance, and as the tip nudged against me, I took a deep breath, letting it out as Reid pushed inside and kept going this time.
“Oh wow,” he said under his breath when he paused, and I grabbed his hips again and forced him to keep going. I welcomed the burn that came with not being stretched beforehand—and from not having had a partner in months. The pleasure bordered on the edge of pain, but I welcomed it. I not only wanted it, but I needed it. Had it not been for the sting, I would’ve thought I was hallucinating Reid’s gorgeous, leanly muscular body above me, his lightly tanned skin a contrast to my pale white.
“Oh God, I can’t,” Reid said, his brow beading with sweat. “You feel too good…too tight. I’m gonna come.”
“Look at me,” I said, and waited until he did. “You’re not coming until I feel you inside me. All of you.”
With his eyes still on mine, he followed my command, grunting and pushing inside to the hilt. Once we were completely joined, I ran my hands down to the smooth curve of his ass and gave him one last instruction: “Now take me.”
If I’d thought Reid would hold back with me just because it was his first time, I was dead wrong. He knew exactly what to do, exactly how to take me and make my toes curl with every thrust of his hips.
Leaning down over me as he continued to move, he seized my lips, plunging his tongue deep inside so there was no part of him that wasn’t joined to every part of me. It wasn’t enough for him, the sex. He wanted to be connected completely, the physical, the emotional, intertwined. I’d wanted him inside me for so long, and now that he was, it was so much…more. More intense, more emotional, and more consuming than I ever could’ve
imagined.
The rise of an impending wave threatened to crest over me just as Reid cried out, “I’m gonna come… I can’t hold back—”
“Come with me,” I growled, the cords in my neck pulled tight as the most powerful orgasm of my life overwhelmed and threatened to consume me. Faintly, I heard Reid call out my name, felt his hips jerk erratically, but I was too far gone into the ecstasy of my climax to urge him on. A few seconds later, Reid collapsed on top of me, the evidence of my orgasm between us, and both of us slick with sweat, but neither of us could be bothered to move. My limbs felt heavy, like I’d run a marathon in sweltering desert heat. We both lay there, catching our breaths and waiting for the carnal fog to lift.
“How are you real?” Reid’s words were muffled against my chest.
“I’d been thinking the same damn thing about you.”
“That was”—he lifted his head to look up at me—“un-fucking-believable.”
I let out a weak chuckle, my body still weary, but he was right. “Intense” wouldn’t cut it to describe what had just happened between us.
I pulled open the bedside drawer then reached inside and grabbed a towel, and Reid grudgingly moved to his back so I could wipe him down. After I cleaned myself off, I tossed the towel in the laundry bin and pulled the covers back. Reid had never stayed over before, not the whole night, and I hoped he wasn’t about to throw on his clothes and leave.
When he tugged the sheet up over his hips and patted the empty space beside him, I let out a relieved sigh and slid in under the covers. Reid snuggled into my side, one arm over my waist, and his cheek resting on my chest. From my angle, I could see the scar on his head, and I brushed my fingers ever so lightly around it. “Seems to be healing well.”
“Mmm,” he said.
“I’ve got some wicked scars as a keepsake, too.”
That got his attention. “Oh yeah? Where?”
“You mean you didn’t notice? Guess you’ll have to find them.”
“Next time. I’ll make sure to do a thorough body check.”
I smiled at the thought of there being a next time. “You do that.”
“I will,” he said, and then he yawned. He was silent for a long time, and I thought he’d gone to sleep, but then he said, “Ollie? Is it always like this?”
My arm tightened around him. “No, Bluebird. No, it’s never like this.”
He placed a kiss on my chest, and within seconds, his body rose and fell in the deep, peaceful breaths of sleep.
It had been a long time since I prayed, but as I lay there with Reid in my arms, I sent up a quick thank you to whoever was listening. Nothing and no one had ever fit me as perfectly as Reid Valentine, and I made a vow then to do whatever it took to keep him in my life.
Happy.
Healthy.
Together.
Chapter Thirteen
IT WAS TWO weeks later when I woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed and the caressing sounds of a piano lullaby playing. For a few minutes, I lay there, content to listen as sleep hovered at the edges, but soon my desire to see Reid and make sure he was okay overpowered any need to close my eyes again. I pushed off the covers and put on a pair of sweatpants before padding down the hall.
The house was dark, the world outside still sleeping, and when I passed the clock, the time read 3:00 a.m. Since Reid had been staying over more often than not now—all the while telling his parents he’d gone back to his apartment—he said he hadn’t suffered any of the nightmares that plagued him on a regular basis, waking him up out of a dead sleep. I hoped tonight hadn’t been any different, but he’d also never gotten up to play before. That was the main reason I’d left the warmth of the bed: I needed to check on my man.
Staying in the shadows, I leaned against the door that led into the kitchen, not wanting to disturb him, but close enough to see him. Illuminated only by the moonlight filtering in through the slats in the blinds, Reid sat at the piano with his eyes closed, his body softly swaying along as he played.
The minutes passed, and every now and again he’d stop, pick up the pen lying on top of the piano, and jot something down before continuing or starting over to play it through, and all the while I stayed silent, taking the moment to just look at him. He hadn’t dressed before coming out here; his chest was bare and he wore only a pair of boxer briefs. From where I stood, I could see the strong muscles in his shoulders and arms tensing and flexing beneath the smooth ivory expanse of his skin as he played. I knew what it was like to run my tongue along the ridges and curves there, how firm his body felt under my lips. How firm his cock felt as he pushed past my lips, too—a grin tipped my lips at the thought.
Reid’s hair had grown back fast, and it was now the same length it had been back when we were strangers. But where he used to brush it into a meticulous, perfectly styled do, now he mussed it with his fingers in a wake-up-and-go style that suited him—and I didn’t have to tell him I preferred the mussed, just-fucked look best. Considering that whenever he was around, I could never stop myself from threading my fingers through the strands and drawing him toward me, I had a feeling he could tell, and that was why he continued to wear it that way.
When he saw me standing in the doorway, the music stopped.
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
“Not at all.” I shook my head and stepped into the room. “I want you to play whenever you feel like it.”
“I’m sure you didn’t mean at three a.m.,” he said with a smile, as his fingers moved over the keys again.
“I meant anytime.” Crossing over to him, I smiled and then leaned over the piano to give him a kiss. He hummed in the back of his throat.
“It wasn’t a nightmare tonight, was it?”
“Not tonight. I woke up with an idea of how to end a song I’ve been working on, and I didn’t want to forget.”
“The one you were playing just now?”
“Yeah. Do you like it?”
“It’s my favorite. You played it the night we found the music store downtown.”
He smiled. “It reminds me of you. The way you feel. The way you make me feel.” He started the slow melody again from the top. “Safe…treasured…home.”
“I’m glad I make you feel that way.” I settled my upper body on top of the piano with my chin on my arms and let my eyes fall closed as he played. I couldn’t fathom a more beautiful sound in the world. If he wanted to play every night, there would be nothing more that I’d want to wake up to.
Nothing more than the man himself, that was.
Abruptly, the music stopped, and when I opened my eyes, I saw Reid’s head down, and his forehead screwed up tightly.
“Are you okay?”
When Reid’s head shot up, he smoothed his face and then gave me a small smile. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, getting to his feet.
“You don’t have to stop.”
“No, I think I’ve got it now.” He scribbled something in the notebook and then tossed the pen on top of it. “Sometimes I have to get it out. But I’m tired now. Ready to go back to bed with you,” he said, taking my outstretched hands. I drew him in close, nuzzling my face into the warmth of his neck.
“It’s one of my favorite things in the world, listening to you play.”
“You’re biased.”
“I’m not.” I brushed a kiss below his ear. “Just lucky.”
“I’m lucky too.”
“You may not say that after this week,” I said. After nonstop hassling from Mike about when he was gonna get to officially meet Reid, I’d finally relented, and to my surprise, Reid had jumped at the idea. Mike was bringing Deb, and I had no doubt those two would get on with him like a house on fire. But still, Mike was enough to run anyone off if they weren’t planted firmly enough.
“Have I mentioned I can’t wait to meet your friends?”
“They’re excited to meet you too. But I’m still apologizing in advance for Mike’s mouth.”
“He doesn’t
scare me.”
“He should. Hell, he scares me.”
Reid laughed as we climbed back into bed, the conversation fading into languid kisses as we draped ourselves over each other and settled into a peaceful quiet, the kind that came before sleep. But as the minutes passed, and despite Reid’s comment about being tired, he seemed unable to rest. I could practically hear his mind going a mile a minute beside me, and I untangled myself from him and faced him on my side.
“What usually wakes you?” I said. “When it’s bad?”
He was quiet for a long time, and that alone told me I’d hit the nail on the head. “The doctor said they’re panic attacks. Sometimes they hit so hard I think I’m gonna die.”
“What does it feel like?”
“It feels like someone is sitting on my chest, crushing my lungs, and I have this feeling of… It’s hard to explain.” I waited as he searched for the words. “Doom, maybe? Emptiness? Fear? With dreams, I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. Am I remembering things that happened, or are they made up? I think maybe that’s the scariest part. Feeling like I have no sense of reality. I’m pretty sure that’s what triggers the attacks.”
My heart clenched for the struggle he went through, even after all this time. He put on a brave face, but inside he was terrified. There was no telling if or when the panic would ever go away, if he’d ever remember, but none of it was within my control. All I could do was be there. Be the anchor he needed to the real world.
As if he was reading my mind, he said, “But I don’t feel that way when I’m with you. It all goes away. You seem to…ground me…somehow.” Then he lifted up onto his elbows. “I can’t imagine that what I had before could’ve been anywhere as amazing as what I have now. Even with the holes, the panic attacks, the frustration…it almost feels like I have a clean slate. Does that make sense? Like it doesn’t matter what happened before, and now I can figure out what I like, what I don’t like…what I love.”
A surge of heat flooded my belly, but I wasn’t about to let myself read into his words. Instead, I said, “I’d help you remember. If that’s what you wanted.”
Forget Me Not (The Unforgettable Duet Book 1) Page 11