Stardancer

by Ariel MacArran

  Kinara’s cheeks were burning. “Thank you,” she said stiffly.

  Laric signaled to two women to come forward. “Will my lady choose slippers?”

  Kinara’s brow creased as the women uncovered dozens of pairs.

  Laric helped her select jewels, cosmetics and a scent. After an hour of fussing she couldn’t take any more. She pointedly ignored Laric’s hints to allow one of the women to dress her hair. The most she could stand to have the woman do was slide a jeweled comb in to hold the hair out of her eyes.

  Kinara followed Laric to the mirror and stared at her own reflection. She hardly recognized herself. Every inch of her seemed to twinkle with precious jewels. She smiled.

  “My lady is pleased?”

  “Yeah, I look . . . I look great. Thanks.” Kinara turned to Laric. “I want to go see my crew now.”

  Laric tilted her head. “Crew?”

  “Sorry.” Kinara shook her head. “I want to go see the Tellarans.”

  Laric’s brow furrowed. “Does my lady mean . . . go unescorted?”

  Kinara opened her mouth to speak and abruptly shut it. Aidar hadn’t rescinded the ‘stay in our quarters’ order yet and also hadn’t said anything about those guards she was supposed to have. He wasn’t here and it was barely two days since she’d blundered into almost getting him killed.

  “No,” Kinara mumbled. “No, of course not. Guess I’ll stay right here.” She sighed inwardly. Probably all day.

  There was an awkward pause then Laric said, “We often have tea and a light meal at this time.”

  “Oh,” Kinara said with a nod. “I like tea.”

  The women were looking at her expectantly.

  Kinara gave a half shrug. “That sounds good.”

  They didn’t move.

  She frowned. “Do you want me to go get it?”

  The women started in surprise then laughed. But they didn’t seem to be laughing at her.

  She hoped.

  Laric shook her head, smiling and waved to two of the younger women. “Sella, Metari, go you now.”

  The other women took up places around the room. Some took out musical instruments and began to play. Others took out embroidery or began putting away the other clothing.

  Kinara glanced at Laric. “Is this what they do?”

  Laric tilted her head. “Do you ask them to do something else, my lady?”

  “No, no,” Kinara said quickly, flushing. “I’m just — no.”

  Not sure what she was supposed to do and fearful of doing something wrong Kinara perched herself on one of the couches, trying not to wrinkle her dress. They didn’t offer her any of their work, not that she knew how to do any of it anyway, so she just sat and watched them.

  The younger women returned with tea, fruit and baked things already cut to bite size.

  Sella looked surprised when she took up a plate and exchanged glances with Laric as Kinara quickly chose some things from the platter. She shifted on the couch. Looks like she’d managed to mess up just trying to get breakfast.

  Any Tellaran knowledge of Az-kye etiquette was scant at best and she’d skimmed all of it. She studied these people with the goal of attacking and destroying a warship not sitting with their women and taking tea.

  One of the younger women caught her eye and smiled, her face warm and open. How different the women were from the men! Where Aidar and the warriors she had seen seemed sometimes to be carved from stone, these women were warm and friendly.

  “I am grateful the rainy season finally ended,” Laric said mildly as she embroidered the bodice of a dress. “The days are so pleasant now.”

  It was a clear invitation for conversation but she knew practically nothing about the weather on Az-kye.

  “So, uh,” Kinara put in. “The rainy season was bad this year?”

  “I found it so.” Laric shrugged. “But with my years I find the heat before the rains oppressive, the wet unbearable and the chill and snow to come well nigh intolerable.”

  The other women threw smiles at her.

  Laric’s dark eyes shone with humor. “The curse of age, my lady.”

  “Oh, will it get even colder?” Kinara wondered, turning her face into the cool breeze ruffling her hair. “Then I’m very glad I got rid of that thin white dress. It’s chilly here already.”

  The women within earshot looked horribly embarrassed. Laric wouldn’t meet her eye.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My lady,” Laric began, her voice low and strained. “The clothing you speak of is a shameful thing.”

  “How can a dress be shameful?” Kinara asked then suddenly realized she hadn’t seen anyone but slaves wearing white.

  Laric’s voice dropped to a whisper. “It is symbol of the clanless.”

  Clanless? Kinara’s frown deepened. “A clan is a family, isn’t it? But I have a family.”

  “Of course, clan Az’anti,” Laric agreed hastily.

  Did they make my crew slaves because they think we don’t have families? “No, I mean I have another family,” Kinara protested, plunging on despite Laric’s blank face. “A Tellaran family. I have a father, and aunts and uncles, and cousins.”

  “Tellarans are not Az-Kye. Tellarans have families like animals do,” Laric said with a sniff.

  Despite her promise to behave Kinara felt her jaw clenching. “What are you saying? That Tellarans are no better than animals?”

  Laric looked offended. “Tellarans are clanless.”

  Several of the women nodded in agreement. For a moment Kinara saw Kyndan’s smiles, her father’s warm blue eyes, the mother she’d loved so much and lost as girl and then rage blinded her with a flash of red.

  “Who are you to speak of my people — my family — that way?” Kinara demanded, her voice low and dangerous as she rose.

  “She does not speak of your family, my lady,” one of the other women assured, frowning. “It is Tellarans who are like animals.”

  “Oh, that’s it!” Kinara grabbed the nearest woman’s musical instrument and flung it toward the door. “Get out, all of you!”

  White-faced, the women rose to retreat and it was clear that not a few of them thought she was insane.

  “I said get out!” she shrieked and grabbed the nearest piece of bric-a-brac to throw.

  Kinara spun hurling the vase and saw Aidar just as she let it go. He ducked and the porcelain smashed against the wall behind him.

  He straightened to look at her, his dark eyes wide with astonishment. “What do you, my mate?”

  “What am I doing?” Kinara shouted. “I’m throwing these insulting, stupid, savage Az-kye out, that’s what I’m doing!”

  “But why?” Aidar glanced at the cowering women. “What have they done?”

  “They insulted my family! They said my family is nothing more than a bunch of animals!”

  Aidar’s gaze went immediately to Laric. “You speak so of the Az’anti?”

  “No, my lord!” Laric gasped. “We did not!”

  “Not the Az’anti! My family!” Kinara’s fists clenched at his bewildered expression. “The Maeres!”

  “You have no Tellaran family,” he said as if for the women’s benefit as well as Kinara’s. “You are Az’anti now.”

  Kinara’s eyes narrowed. “Like hell I am!”

  The women gasped and Aidar’s face drained of color.

  “Leave us,” Aidar ordered hoarsely.

  The women left, exchanging shocked whispers.

  Kinara lifted her chin. “I don’t care what you say. I will have nothing to do with those women!”

  “No, you will not. You have broken your word to me, Tellaran. I now break mine to you. The Tellarans will be given to the Council of Elders.”

  Kinara’s lips parted. “You promised that if I became your mate they’d be freed!”

  “And you do not act as my mate!”

  Kinara’s eyes went to the bed. “You mean you want to—?”

  He turned his back on her and this
dismissal sent a shock of fear through her.

  “Wait!” Kinara cried, hurrying after him. “I don’t understand! We’re mated.”

  “You have said we are not!”

  “I never said that!”

  “You said you are not Az’anti!”

  “Well, what does that have to do with being your mate?”

  He stared down at her for a moment as if at a complete loss. “It has everything to do with it,” he said finally.

  Kinara frowned. “Wait. You think because I said that I wasn’t Az’anti that I meant I wasn’t your mate?”

  He threw his hands wide in an uncharacteristic show of frustration. “How could you be my mate if you are not Az’anti?”

  Kinara’s frown deepened. “So I have to be Az’anti to be your mate? Or do you mean, if I’m your mate, then I’m Az’anti?”

  “Both!”

  “Well, you didn’t explain that part to me. I didn’t know that I had to be Az’anti too.” She gave a nod. “But that’s okay with me.”

  He shook his head. “‘Be Az’anti, too’? What could you be other than Az’anti?”

  She spread her hands. “Well, Maere, of course. That’s my family.”

  “No one can be of two families!”

  “Aidar, where I come from no one gives up their family when they marry. I have a family whose name is Maere but if you insist the Az’anti can be my family too.”

  “No! You have one clan, one family, one name. If you are Az’anti then you have no Tellaran family.”

  “I can’t do that! I’ll be a part of your clan or whatever you want but my family is here,” Kinara cried, touching her hand over her heart. “I can’t let them go. They’ll always be my family, no matter what name I have.”

  Aidar’s fierce frown smoothed out. “This I understand. They may be part of you, but you must choose now if you are Az’anti or Maere.”

  “Wait, if I choose Az’anti — which I have to if I’m going to be your mate and you’ll free my crew — then you want me to pretend I don’t have a Tellaran family?”

  He shook his head. “Not to pretend, Cy’atta. The Az’anti must be here,” he said touching his hand over his heart. “With only a little part for the Maere.”

  Tears suddenly stung Kinara’s eyes. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

  “Cy’atta, you must choose.”

  Kinara’s fingers twisted in the heavy fabric of her skirt. This was far more than she had bargained for when she had agreed to be his wife. He really expected her to care for these people. Treat them as her only family and give them her only loyalty, right down to hearing them talk about Tellaran families like they were nothing more than animals.

  Not just to care for these Az-kye but to become one herself.

  I promised.

  “Az’anti then.” She wiped at her tears and gave a firm nod. “I’m Az’anti.”

  His eyes softened and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I know such was not easy.”

  “No, it wasn’t.” Kinara pushed her hair back. “Gods, I speak your language but I feel like I don’t know anything about living with your people.”

  “The women might help you.” He smiled a little. “Do you not throw things at them.”

  “Well, thanks a lot! I didn’t know that they were going to insult me.”

  She stomped away to look out over the Empress’ City, stiffening when he put his arms around her.

  “Ah, Cy’atta, I am sorry I teased,” he murmured against her ear.

  “You don’t sound sorry.”

  He chuckled, turning her around. “I will prove it to you.”

  He lowered his head and brought his mouth to hers.

  Her heart was hammering as he drew her toward the bed.

  “I just got dressed.”

  “I will help you get dressed again later. Cy’atta.”

  “You better,” she warned breathlessly as his hands ran over her. “It took them forever to get me into this thing.”

  Kinara lay beside Aidar in the scant light of early morning, their legs tangled together beneath the covers. He smiled at her drowsily and she smiled back.

  “You cannot sleep?”

  “I don’t want to sleep,” she murmured, letting her fingers run over his furred chest.

  “Well, if you expect more joining you must wait a time.”

  She sighed. “Actually, I was going to ask but if you don’t think you can manage it . . .”

  He blinked and she laughed. She was still laughing when he lunged at her, rolling her over to pin her down.

  “You should not say such things,” he warned, taking a mock bite at her ear.

  She giggled as his mock bite became real nibbling, twisting in his arms.

  He drew back to look at her. “I have discovered another secret of my mate. You are ticklish.”

  “I am not!”

  In response his fingers lightly ran over her ribs and despite her best effort she burst out laughing and squirmed.

  Suddenly his playfulness changed, his mouth touched hers lightly for a moment before dipping to press against her throat, the place between her breasts, her ribs.

  “Hmmm, that’s nice.”

  “You are my joy, Cy’atta,” he said huskily, then pressed his mouth to the hollow beside her hipbone and moved lower.

  His palm was on the inside of her thigh now, gently spreading her wider.

  “Gods,” she whispered. “I wish you weren’t Az-kye.”

  His head came up, his dark eyes still sleepy with desire even as his brows drew together sharply. “Why do you say this?”

  “I didn’t — I just meant that — my whole family . . .”

  He drew away to look at her and there was an edge to his voice. “Your Tellaran family.”

  “Listen, it’s just they wouldn’t–” She looked away, embarrassed. “I mean, my father would be . . .”

  “Shamed,” he spat. “That such as I, an Az-Kye, lay with his daughter.” He sat up, a half-smile on his face that belied the hardness of his eyes. “Ah, Tellaran males, how they value themselves.”

  “You don’t understand. My father is—”

  “It is amusing to watch them,” he continued as if she had not spoken. “Do you know this winter past I saw a Tellaran male knock aside one of his own women to try to escape? They weep like boys for fear of their precious lives. Even warriors cannot but smile at their whimpering and begging.”

  Kinara felt herself go pale. “It’s just if you were Tellaran—”

  “I will die before I wish myself Tellaran!” he snarled. “I am Az-kye. I can be nothing than what I am!”

  “You have no problem with asking me to change! No problem asking me to give up everything I am for you!”

  “Such was your promise!” His nostrils flared. “Did I think you not capable of becoming a proper mate I would not have bound with you!”

  Her jaw clenched. “So you wanted me as long as, you know, you could turn me into someone else?”

  With a growl he pushed himself up to stand over her. “We cannot live together this way, as Tellaran and Az-kye. One of us must change.” His face was set. “Or we will know nothing but misery.”

  He dressed and left without a backward glance.

  The door banged shut behind him and Kinara slammed her fist into the pillows.

  The women avoided her gaze.

  Conversation was halting and awkward and once they had dressed her in the required gown and jewels, non-existent. She asked questions now and then but Laric was obviously too deeply offended to be friendly to her again. The woman’s answers were short and coldly polite. The older women kept quiet and the younger ones spoke quietly to each other. All of them avoided her, probably believing the red-haired Tellaran too stupid to know she was being slighted.

  It was impossible! Everything she did made her feel like she’d done something wrong and she was angry and embarrassed. Kinara would have sent them away if she’d known how to without throwing things. />
  Somewhere lurking in her mind was the knowledge that she was supposed to know why the younger girls snickered when she asked for a plate at lunch, why the older women muttered when she added another log to the fire.

  There was a stir among the women. Kinara was on her feet immediately when she saw him. Aidar stopped inside the doorway, his dark eyes unfathomable as he returned her gaze.

  No one moved and Kinara, her heart pounding, was at a loss for what to do.

  Am I supposed to ignore him or invite him to sit down or what?

  She glanced around, praying to be rescued but the women avoided her gaze.

  “I was wondering when you’d come back,” she said finally, her voice strained.

  “I am here now.”

  “Yes, I see that,” she said, annoyed. Was he trying to make her look ridiculous to these women?

  “Do you wish something of me, my mate?”

  She gritted her teeth at his cold tone. “Nothing springs to mind.”

  “Then you wish me to depart,” he said, turning away.

  She took a half step toward him.

  “No! I mean — I want to talk to you.” She glanced at the women. “Alone.”

  “Then do so.”

  “To speak to you alone these women would have to leave.”

  He gave a nod. “This is so.”

  She could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand with temper. “So tell them to leave!”

  He glanced at the women. “Leave us.”

  The women left silently, their stiff backs and downcast eyes speaking volumes of what they thought about that particular scene.

  Kinara managed to hold her tongue until the door shut behind them and then she nearly spat the words at him, “You made me look like a fool!”

  “I do not make you look so,” he replied sharply. “Act properly if you care for what others think!”

  Kinara’s fists clenched. “What do you think I did all day? I sat here, bored out of my mind, with women I’d rather not even have to look at and acted like I gave a damn!”

  He made a sound of outrage. “This is how you show yourself a proper Az-kye mate? This how keep your vows to me?”