“Oh, no, Ti’antah,” Nyat said quickly. “But it has been many hours and the baby does not come. She wants you there because you are a Cy’atta.”
Kinara stopped. “Wait – what?”
“I know we are not to speak of—” He flushed. “All the clan knows it so, Ti’antah.”
She’d understood the word but had no idea what it meant when he’d started calling her that on the Ty’pran. Now she knew that Cy’attas — Stardancers — were emissaries of the Goddess Lashima. Granted all sorts of magical powers by the Goddess of love and the heavens, they sometimes showed up in mortal form.
Now because of the damned nickname it sounded like the whole starblasted clan actually thought she was one.
Oh, that’s just fracking great! Thanks, Aidar, one more problem you made for me and aren’t here to deal with!
Nyat’s dark eyes were equal parts pleading and anxious.
Well, now what? Explain that I’m not some Az-kye goddess’ handmaiden and go back to bed?
Kinara let her breath out slowly. “Come on, let’s go.”
And for my first official act as Cy’atta I’m going to convince her to go to the damned medcenter.
Nyat and Sella led her across the courtyard and through the garden. Kinara shivered as the chill air cut right through her robe, the grass cold and damp under her feet. For just a moment she glanced at the star-filled night sky and managed to pick out Rusco’s sun.
Storerooms and smaller buildings with living quarters surrounded the main house; many of her warriors had with them mates and children. She’d seen them all certainly. They watched her, smiled at her, bowed to her.
She scarcely knew any of their names.
The lighting in Nyat’s quarters was very bright, the rooms stuffy and close. Even the Az’anti estate’s sprawling size wouldn’t allow everyone to have large quarters and these consisted of only a combined sitting and dining room and a bedroom. Kinara thought for an instant how unfair it was that this woman suffered to bring forth a new life in these tiny, neat rooms when her own spacious apartments above sat empty.
The healer – the same she’d threatened to order to the garden to dust leaves for the rest of her life if she didn’t treat Kyndan – regarded her with obvious relief.
Rebena, Nyat’s mate, lay on the bed, her mound of belly straining against her nightdress. Her face was flushed, her dark hair damp on her face and neck. Purple shadows marred the skin under her eyes.
“My mate,” Nyat said softly.
She turned her head, her hair clinging damply to her forehead and neck.
“Ti’antah,” Rebena murmured, a smile lighting her face.
In the next instant her face crumbled in pain and even from where Kinara stood she could see the contraction of Rebena’s belly.
Nyat took a hesitant step forward. Kinara swallowed hard, scarcely breathing herself as Rebena tensed against the pain. The healer’s face was grim.
After what seemed like forever the contraction passed and Rebena went limp, gasping.
Then they all — Nyat, the healer, Sella — looked at her.
Oh, you’ve got to be festering kidding me! I barely know enough to pass as a clan leader, let alone emissary of an Az-kye goddess!
But she had to do something.
Kinara wet her lips. “Sella, go get a cool, damp cloth for your cousin’s face. Nyat, get her some ice water–” Kinara glanced at the healer for confirmation. “Little sips, keep her hydrated.” The two hurried to do her bidding. Nyat took up a place next to his mate, gently touching her face as he offered her water.
“Healer,” Kinara said, motioning her over.
“My lady,” the healer, Cenara, said softly. “Thank Lashima you have come.”
“Yeah,” Kinara said shortly, keeping her voice low. “How is she? Do we need to get her to a medcenter?”
“She wishes to remain here. I would respect that choice if I can.” The healer hesitated. “I cannot find anything wrong with her or the babe. She is dilating as I would expect but I think she is overwhelmed and afraid. I do believe it safe for her to remain here for now. If she does not deliver the child by morning or the baby shows signs of distress, then yes, I will support you in sending her to the medcenter.”
Support me? Wow, thanks.
Another contraction hit Rebena.
“She fights the pain but will not allow me to give her something to ease it. Perhaps if you could help calm her, help her focus,” the healer murmured. “The child might be born before we must move her.”
Kinara wet her lips. I don’t know what a clan leader would do here. I sure as hell don’t know what a Cy’atta would do.
Rebena went limp, trembling, Nyat tenderly stroked her hair.
But I think I know what a Commander would do. Kinara nodded. “Okay, let me talk to her.”
Nyat already had the water to her lips again and Sella wiped at her face.
Kinara sat on the bed and took Rebena’s hand. “How are you holding up?”
Rebena’s face was drawn. She nodded. “I am well, Ti’antah.”
Kinara nodded. “Good, ‘cause I’m really looking forward to seeing that baby born. I’ll stay here with you as long as it takes, okay?”
Rebena’s face relaxed, her dark eyes grateful. “Thank you, my lady.”
“Look, I know this is scary and I want you to have whatever you need. We’ll stay here if that’s what you want. I have to tell you though, if you or the baby start to run into trouble, I’m taking you to the medcenter.”
Rebena’s lip trembled.
“But if that happens, I’ll be right with you there too,” Kinara added firmly. “As long as it takes, okay?”
Rebena nodded, tears shone in her eyes. “Yes. Thank you, my lady.”
Rebena suddenly gripped her hand as another pain hit her and they all went silent.
“Try to relax into it,” Kinara blurted. “Don’t fight the pain.”
Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was grimacing but Rebena gave a short nod.
Kinara wet her lips. “Just relax, you’re doing great.” She continued on in that same mien, feeling like she was just babbling but she didn’t know what else to do.
When the pain passed, Rebena shifted, whimpering. “My feet are asleep.”
Kinara glanced at the healer. “Any reason she couldn’t walk around a little?”
Nyat looked shocked but the healer nodded. “To walk may help greatly, my lady.”
“Good,” Kinara said. “Nyat, help me support her. Let’s get her up before the next contraction starts.”
Kinara and Nyat walked her for what seemed like hours, stopping whenever a pain held Rebena still, her head bent, her nails digging in to bruise Kinara’s shoulder.
Kinara was hoarse from talking, from urging Rebena to relax, let it pass, whatever she could think of. She felt ridiculous for saying such things when the woman was obviously in such starblasted pain but after every contraction, Rebena would look to her and thank her faintly.
As the night wore on Kinara sometimes had to fight the impulse to flee the room. She certainly wanted to shut her eyes and cover her ears to block out the sound of Rebena’s suffering but she didn’t. Not even when Rebena’s contractions grew closer together and stronger until she was arched like a bow across the bed, her face contorted with pain. Nyat’s face was stark with fear and Sella’s lips were white from seeing her cousin writhing like this.
Just as the Az-kye sun’s first rays touched the room, Rebena delivered the child. Nyat wept openly at the baby’s shrill cry. Shaking with exhaustion, Kinara and Sella were caught between smiling and tears as the healer declared the child healthy. Bundling up the infant quickly, the healer put the girl in her father’s arms while she turned her attention to his mate.
“Nyat,” Rebena urged weakly from her place on the bed.
He nodded. “Lady,” Nyat said, tears running down his cheeks as he handed her the child. “Please. Your blessing.”
Kinara, who had never held an infant before, was struck with a sudden heart stopping fear that she would drop the baby. She wasn’t even sure how tightly to hold the child.
“She’s so light, so tiny,” Kinara said. The baby’s face was red, her nose squished, her eyes swollen almost shut. “She’s just beautiful.”
They were all looking at her expectantly.
Kinara wet her lips. Seleni, I know you’re Tellaran too but, if you happen to speak Az-kye, I’d really appreciate it if you could put a word in for me with your fellow goddess here.
She took a deep breath. Okay, hopefully Az-kye goddesses don’t get offended when you wing it.
Kinara looked down at the baby and changed Seleni’s traditional blessing around a little. “May Lashima shower her blessings on you and the Goddess’s light fill all the days of your life, little uh . . .?”
Rebena was beaming. “Kinara.”
Her throat closed and her vision swam. Oh, man.
She swallowed hard and looked back at the baby. “Little Kinara,” she managed.
“Thank you, Ti’antah,” Nyat murmured, his dark eyes shone as she handed the baby back. He bent his head. “I stand proud to serve you always, my lady.”
Kinara nodded quickly, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. She stepped back.
Sella took up her lamp but Kinara shook her head.
“No,” she said, holding out her hand. “Give me the light and stay here to assist the healer. You’re excused from your duties so you can help out your cousin for a couple weeks. Make sure she gets lots of rest.”
Leaving them, Kinara drew her robe tighter against the crisp morning air of autumn. Her warriors and gardeners, surprised to see her walking in the courtyard so early, in her nightwear and unattended, nevertheless offered her respectful bows.
Once inside the house, Kinara sank shakily into a chair in the dim lower hall.
The sleepless night, the birth, losing the crew, finding Kyndan, Aidar . . .
Kinara caught her breath then bent her head, her hand over her mouth to stifle the sobs.
The guards didn’t disturb her as she cried but she was acutely aware of their silent concern.
She sat there long after her tears stopped. The sun had risen fully, filling the house with golden light and the whole estate was awake and about their business. Her household threw curious, surprised glances to find their clan leader, her hair in disarray, dressed in her robe and barefoot, sitting alone in the hall.
They all call me Ti’antah now. They trust me; believe in me, they think I’m their Cy’atta.
And Kyndan, his crew, Tedah, all my friends, they need me too. I’ve got to find them, get them all back home. I can’t let them down.
I’m not going to let any of them down again.
The head of food stocks, Nechel, was walking through the hall, probably on her way to the storehouse. Likely recalling how sharply the Ti’antah responded to her questions about provisions yesterday, the woman ducked her head, trying to pass unnoticed.
“Nechel, wait,” Kinara called, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Come here.”
The head of food stocks stopped, cringing a little. She hurried over and offered a bow.
Kinara stood wearily. “About the grain from Az-kanzar and the rest of the provisions, let me – I just need to get dressed. I’ll meet with you in the front sitting room in a half an hour.” Kinara gave the woman a nod. “I want to hear your recommendations and – and tell the other staff I’ll meet with them too.”
The woman blinked then gave a short bow. “Yes, my lady.”
Gods, I wish there was open trade between the Az-kye and Tellaran Realm. She rubbed her eyes. I would do anything for a double strong cup of caf right now.
Aidar groaned.
The strong sunlight seemed to hammer through his eyelids right into his brain. Eyes still closed, he reached out for the bottle of wine and touched a foot.
Startled, he opened his eyes and gasped as hot needles of pain shot through his head.
It took him a moment to focus up at Cenna.
“You should don white after the disgrace you have made of yourself, foster-brother.”
Aidar’s hand went to his aching head as he tried to look past her skirts for the wine. The tapping of her foot against the floor sounded like cannon fire.
“How many days since Dael brings you to my house? Three? And you have not even bathed! You look disgusting!”
“I feel disgusting, foster-sister,” he rasped. He fell back, his hand over his eyes in an attempt to keep them in his head. “Bring me wine and I will feel better.”
“I cannot!” Aidar winced as his foster-sister’s words echoed off the walls. “You have drunk all of it!”
“Then send you to purchase more and leave me be.”
“Look on you, foster-brother! You sleep where you have fallen on the floor! Have you no mind for the shame? That Dael must beg a ride to carry you here and you drunk and challenging strangers!”
He had a dim recollection of that. He was helpless to regain her crew or Dael’s woman. His foster-brother refused to part with Nisara even for ten times her worth in coin but Aidar should have found a way – any way – to get the girl back.
He should never have let her think Malm the villain, responsible for her grief, and not he.
But . . . the way she had looked at him that day, her eyes so soft . . .
He should have told her about her brother, no matter how much he feared she would go back with him to Tellaran space and never return.
He squeezed them shut. In his desperation to keep her, in his cowardice, he had lost all.
He had walked the streets of the Empress’ City without direction or destination. So unaware of his surroundings he did not recognize the section he had wandered into until a highly painted woman pressed herself against him. She smiled broadly and offered him a jug of wine. Drinking it had blurred his thoughts and made it possible to breathe again.
When Dael had found him he had been very, very drunk.
Since then he had lain at Cenna’s house. Sleeping when he could and when dreams of his Cy’atta awakened him, he drank until he was senseless again. Dael had come a few times but Aidar could not remember what he had said, sending his foster brother away with only demands for more wine.
He judged it to be late afternoon now. “Do I fight in the Circle today?” he croaked.
“You would be cut into pieces, did you fight today! I thank the gods no one would take challenge from a drunken fool such as you!”
“Then send you for more wine and leave me be.”
Silence stretched on and he hoped the wine would arrive soon. He could see her eyes again . . .
“I will not!” Cenna shouted so loudly that he groaned. “I will send to your mate and have her servants to carry you home!”
“No!" His eyes opened and he clutched at Cenna’s ankle desperately. “I cannot return. She hates to look on me, Cenna.”
“Why is this? You would not tell Dael.”
“Bring me wine and I will say,” Aidar pleaded.
“You will have no more of my house. Your mate can send wine with her servants.”
“Please, Cenna. Do not send to her and I will tell you.”
“Tell me and I will think on it,” Cenna said stubbornly.
He shut his eyes and told her everything. He felt Cenna sit beside him as he spoke and once he thought he heard her gasp but he did not open his eyes to look.
“You must go back,” Cenna said firmly when he finished.
He shook his head. “Cenna, I cannot! She will not even look on me.”
“She cannot look on you if you stay in my house. She is alone with only a once-brother who hates you. How can she do otherwise if you do not return?”
“She hates me. She says I am not her mate.”
Cenna shrugged. “So have I said to Kalen in heat of anger.”
Aidar felt a stinging in his eyes. “This is different.”
“She will not forgive me.”
“She is your bound mate, Aidar.” Cenna’s smile was gentle. “Is she not worth fighting for?”
“You should not even ask such,” he said hoarsely.
“I have been bound far longer than you Aidar.” Cenna fingered her skirt. “I think your mate seeks to look on you more than you believe.”
He frowned up at her.
“You may lose her truly if you lay here.” Cenna tilted her head. “Do you wish to risk it?”
Aidar looked at her for a long moment. “I will need a bath before I go, Cenna.”
“You do indeed, foster-brother,” she agreed then looked at him sympathetically. “I will summon the healer to treat your headache.”
He tightened his grip on her hand. “Cenna, there is something else I need of you.”
Kinara put the datapad down and rubbed her eyes. She’d been trying off and on all day but composing this message to Lianna seemed impossible. She was desperate to learn about her crew’s welfare but Kinara couldn’t risk offending the girl and even now that night had fallen she couldn’t get the wording right.
Her brother had never been much for sitting still. Exasperated by his constant interruptions this afternoon she sent him with two guards and Bebti, acting as a guide, out into the Empress’ City. Kyndan might hate the Az-kye but even he couldn’t hate a kid like Bebti.
In the simple way of children, Bebti looked right past the white tunic and determined this was someone Kinara loved and so he would love him too. Bebti was even able to coax Kyndan into learning to speak a little Az-kye and, whenever he wasn’t hovering around Kinara trying to be helpful, the boy followed Kyndan around.
The warriors had been stunned when she gave the orders but they had obeyed.
That was one thing about Az-kye warriors, she thought taking up the datapad again, they would obey their clan leader onto death.
And they were her warriors now.
Stardancer Page 20