Forgotten (Book 3--Forsaken Series)

by Vanessa Miller

  After praying with Susan Tilman’s family at the hospital, Lamont visited with another family who’d recently lost a loved one. Driving back to the church, he admitted to himself that he was having a hard time keeping up.

  But by the time he stepped into the church, Margie informed him that she had already begun working with the Tilman family on the funeral arrangements. She’d also re-arranged his schedule so that he could be available for the grieving family from Monday’s funeral and the grieving family from the upcoming funeral on Friday. He had the marriage counseling session that morning, but the rest of his calendar had been moved to next week.

  Lamont smiled as he realized just how much he was beginning to depend on Margie. He only prayed that all the craziness around there didn’t get to her and cause her to quit like his other office managers. But, really, his other office managers had been nothing like Margie. She seemed to pride herself on doing a good job and anticipating his every need. He wanted to call Cassandra and thank her for helping him find Margie, but he knew that JT and Cassandra were still at odds over her decision not to tell him about Margie; Lamont figured he would keep his joy to himself.

  A knock at his door caused him to sit up straight and stop daydreaming about his good fortune. “Come in,” Lamont said as he grabbed a notepad and put it in front of him.

  Margie walked in with two of his church members following behind. “Are you ready for your ten o’clock appointment with Mr. and Mrs. Cooper?”

  “Yes, I am. Thank you, Margie.” Lamont waved a hand, pointing towards the couch that sat to the left of his desk.

  Stephanie Cooper strutted over to the couch as if she were on a runway, modeling the highest fashions in Italy, while Marcus Cooper stood next to Margie, shaking his head at her. He then nudged her shoulder and said, “Mr. Cooper, huh? What happened to Markie-Markie the stinking larky?”

  Margie giggled. “You did used to stink, with all that gas you kept passing.”

  “Yeah, but you didn’t have to bust me out in front of everybody like that.” He turned to his wife and pointed at Margie. “I actually had a crush on this one until she went around telling everyone how stinking I was.”

  Margie shoved Marcus. “Hey, I was only six years old. What did you expect from me?”

  “You called it right, Margie. He's still passing a bunch of gas,” Stephanie said with a lot less humor than Margie and Marcus experienced as they walked down Memory Lane.

  “Well, I’ll leave you two with Pastor Lamont,” Margie said and then closed the door behind her.

  Lamont sat in his chair for a moment, staring at the closed door. For some reason he had wanted to hear more about this crush Marcus had on Margie back in the day. But the couple hadn’t come to him to talk about Margie. “So, Stephanie,” Lamont stood and walked around his desk. “When you made the appointment, you mentioned something about problems that you and Marcus were having…”

  “That’s kind of putting it mildly,” Stephanie said as she adjusted herself in her seat. Marcus sat down next to his wife and put his hand on her leg. She pushed it away.

  Lamont sat down in the chair in front of the couch. He folded his hands, one on top of the other as he tried to figure this couple out. Lamont saw Marcus and Stephanie Cooper in church together every Sunday. Stephanie also attended Wednesday night Bible study. They seemed happy when Lamont saw them… always walking to the offering basket or to communion holding hands and smiling at each other. “Let’s pray before we begin our discussion,” Lamont said as he bowed his head. “Lord, we thank You for grace and mercy. I thank You because You know all things and can reveal them to us as needed. My prayer right now, Lord Jesus, is that the Coopers dig deep and begin to reveal the things that are stopping them from becoming all that You designed for them to be to each other… in Jesus’ name I pray this prayer and believe that You hear me and are a God that answers prayers. Amen.”

  When Lamont finished, he looked up and found tears streaming down Marcus’s face. “Is there something you’d like to share, Brother Marcus?”

  Marcus held up a hand and shook his head.

  “See,” Stephanie said frustration filling her voice. “This is the problem. I know that something is wrong, but every time I ask, he just shuts me out.”

  “I don’t mean to shut you out, Stephanie. I just don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Pastor, I just about can’t take this anymore. Would you please ask my husband how his telling me what is on his mind would hurt me?”

  “She makes a good point, Marcus. A married couple should be able to talk about the things that concern them.” Remembering something JT had said about his marriage, Lamont added, “A good friend once told me that trust in a marriage is the glue that binds.”

  “I do trust Stephanie. I just don’t want to hurt her.” Marcus wiped the tears from his face.

  Stephanie handed him some tissue and he blew his nose. “Why do you think you’ll hurt me? I just don’t understand when you speak in riddles like this.”

  Marcus looked at his wife with compassion. He opened his mouth to speak, but then turned away from her. “When you look at me like that, I don’t know how to say what I need to say to you.”

  “When I look at you like what? Like I love you and want to help you get through whatever you’re going through?” She grabbed his arm and turned him back to face her. “I look at you like that because I feel that way, Marcus. From the day we got married five years ago, I vowed that I was in this for the good and the bad. But you’ve got to help me out here. I can’t help you get through whatever this is, if you won’t talk to me.”

  Instead of answering, Marcus stood up and walked over to the window. He stood there for the longest time peering out of the window.

  “I don’t know what to do anymore, Pastor Lamont.” Stephanie pointed at Marcus. “He wants me to pretend that everything is just wonderful between us, when he hasn’t even touched me in over a year.”

  Marcus angrily turned away from the window and yelled at his wife, “Shut up, Stephanie!”

  “I will not be quiet.” Stephanie turned back to Pastor Lamont and continued. “Even before this year long drought, I knew that Marcus wasn’t interested in me in that way. Other newlyweds would complain to me about their husband wanting sex a few times a day, while I had to buy all kinds of alluring nightgowns and entice my husband to have sex with me just once a week.”

  “That’s not true,” Marcus shouted. “I have a very demanding work schedule and you know it.”

  Stephanie ignored him and kept speaking to Pastor Lamont. “What I know is that our lovemaking went from once a week to once a month, then once every other month until it just stopped. So, I know he’s not attracted to me.”

  Lamont found that very hard to believe. Stephanie Cooper was beautiful, with a golden personality to match. He’d often thought that Marcus had to be one of the most blessed men on earth to land such a woman with beauty, personality and her own finances at that.

  “I’m attracted to you, Stephanie, how can you even say something like that?”

  She turned to her husband now, the hurt and pain shining bright in her eyes. “Who is she, Marcus? Why don’t you just admit that you’ve fallen in love with someone else?”

  He couldn’t make eye contact with her. He turned back to the safety of the window and began looking at the street, watching cars go by. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Stephanie got up and walked over to her husband. She took his face in her hands and she gently asked, “Who is she, Marcus? Tell me the truth.”

  Tears streamed down Marcus’s face as he looked at his wife. His lips trembled as he said, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You already have, so just tell me the truth and be done with it.”

  He removed her hands from his face and sat back down on the couch with a tortured look on his face. He closed his eyes and then jumped as if a waterboarding had jolted him back into reality. “Everybody wants me
to tell the truth and be truthful about who I am. But the truth is not so simple.”

  Lamont silently prayed that Marcus didn’t close down again, before he could release himself from whatever it was that had him bound. “The truth will set you free, Brother Marcus. Don’t you want to be free?”

  Marcus looked at Lamont, sorrow etched across his face as he said, “I’ve never been free. I’ve always had to hide who I really am.”

  “Who are you, Marcus?” Lamont asked, determined to get to the bottom of this situation.

  “I am not the man that Stephanie needs me to be.”

  Stephanie threw up her hands. “Here we go with these riddles again.” She walked over to her husband and sat down next to him. “Will you just spill it already?”

  “All right! All right.” Marcus’s hands went to his head as he shook away the frustration. “You want the truth, here it is. I’m not in love with another woman. I’m in love with my business partner, Cohen.”

  “Cohen?” Confused, Stephanie said, “But Cohen is a man.”

  “You wanted the truth. Well I’m giving it to you.” Marcus stood up and said, “Cohen and I plan to move our business to Maryland or some other state where we can get married and live as a couple. I’ve been trying to tell you about my plans for years now, but couldn’t muster the courage.”

  There was a look of relief on Marcus’s face as he loudly proclaimed that he wanted to marry another man. But Lamont’s and Stephanie’s faces had contorted into shock and dismay. Before Lamont could recover from the shock, Stephanie jumped up and started swinging her purse like a wild woman, connecting it to Marcus’s head with each swinging blow.

  “How dare you stand there and tell me that you’d rather be with a man, than with me,” she shouted as she continued flinging her purse and her fist.

  As Marcus bobbed and weaved, trying to get away from Stephanie, Lamont stood, trying to break up the fight, but Stephanie was in full swing mode and wasn’t about to let her victim go so easily.

  The office door swung open and Margie came running. She grabbed Stephanie, pulling her away from Marcus, while Lamont held Marcus back, just in case he was mad enough to fight back by then. Instead, Marcus dropped down to the floor and cried like a baby.

  Stephanie was fighting against the hold Margie had on her, and was about to break free, so Lamont grabbed her. “This is not the way to handle this, Stephanie. Now please calm down.”

  “Calm down? Didn’t you hear what he said?” Stephanie pushed and pulled to try to get free. “This man has been putting my life in jeopardy by sleeping with a man while he’s married to me.”

  “Didn’t you say that you haven’t slept together in over a year?” Lamont reminded her.

  “What difference does that make? I could have something that’s been sitting dormant for all I know.”

  Lamont sat Stephanie down on the couch as he reasoned with her. “Make yourself a doctor’s appointment so you can get checked out. We will be praying for you and my hope is that all will be well.”

  “Hmm.” Stephanie shook her head. “Don’t pray for me. I’m tired of getting prayer at church and having it amount to nothing.” She glanced over at Marcus with hatred in her eyes. “I received prayer before I married him and look how that turned out.”

  “God has not forgotten you, or your prayers, Stephanie, you’ve got to believe that.”

  Stephanie grabbed her purse and stormed out of Lamont’s office. “I never want to see Marcus or anyone in this church again,” she said and kept walking out the building.

  Noticing Marcus on the floor crying, Margie knelt down next to him. “What did you do, Marcus, what did you do?”

  Marcus looked up at Margie and simply said, “I told her that you were right. I really do stink.”

  Lamont silently observed how Margie ministered to her old friend.

  As they rocked on the floor together she declared, “God has something better for you, Marcus. You’ve just got to be strong enough to grab hold of it.”

  “But I’m not strong, Margie. I never have been… you know that.”

  Lamont handed tissues to both Marcus and Margie and he waited a while before speaking, feeling in his heart that Marcus needed the comfort that Margie was giving him. When they seemed to be all cried out, Lamont said, “Marcus, can you have a seat, so we can talk before you leave my office.”

  Marcus looked at Margie and asked, “Will you stay?”

  She nodded. “I’m here for you.”

  They sat on the couch while Lamont continued to look dumbfounded by the situation. Since he was the pastor, however, he felt compelled to say something at this moment. But all he could think to say was, “I guess I just don’t understand. You and Stephanie always seemed so happy together. A-And you don’t act gay, so I never would have thought that you were struggling with homosexuality.”

  “All gay men don’t run around twisting and acting womanly. I was an athlete all through high school and college, so there was no way I would have gotten away with acting like that.”

  Lamont rubbed his temples. He didn’t know what to say or do. One day he’s dealing with bank robbing deacons and quitting office managers, and now he was expected to deal with a gay man who tried to play it straight by marrying a woman. He hated to admit it, but maybe JT had been right when he suggested that he wait a while before becoming the pastor of his own church. “I guess I just don’t understand,” Lamont repeated.

  “Pastor Lamont, there is something that you don’t know about Marcus,” Margie began. She then turned to Marcus and said, “And if he will permit me, I’d like to shed some light on this situation.”

  “Would that be all right with you, Marcus?” Lamont asked, praying that he would say yes, so that Lamont could get a better understanding of the present situation. As far as Lamont was concerned, two and two added to four when Marcus, the athlete, married Stephanie, the beautiful model. Now he’s talking about he’d rather have a man than the beautiful woman he already had. It just didn’t make sense.

  Marcus nodded and then Margie turned to Lamont and said, “Let me get you a glass of water, and you get comfortable in your seat, because this is not going to be a pretty story that I have to tell.”

  Nine

  “When Marcus and I were younger we attended the same church. There was a predator at our church and, unfortunately, he was in leadership.”

  As Margie talked, Marcus seemed to fold within himself. He was there in the office with them, but it seemed as if his eyes had drifted off someplace else.

  “This man was thought of as a good guy around the community because he coached little league football and baseball and helped out by buying the uniforms the kids needed and paying for sports camp when a family couldn’t afford it. But he wasn’t doing all of this out of the kindness of his heart or good Christian charity.

  “He raped countless little boys and destroyed their lives. And then one day, I went to that man’s church with a friend of mine to give her moral support. I knew that this pastor had molested her son, and that her son was dealing with psychiatric problems because of it, but I had no idea that she brought a gun to church with her that day.” Margie paused as she shook her head. “But she had, and I sat in that church and watched as my friend murdered that pastor for what he had done to her son and then she turned the gun on herself.”

  “I’m glad she shot him,” Marcus said with the sound of vengeance in his voice.

  Margie turned to him and asked, “Did it take away any of the pain you endured?”

  Marcus thought about the question for a moment and then lowered his head and shook it.

  “The one thing that I have learned with all that I have been through is that even when the hurt comes from within the church, vengeance still belongs to God. It’s His job to repay the evil that we have endured,” Margie said like a woman who had learned something while traveling through this life.

  “I’m still glad he got it the way he did,” Marcus admitted. />
  Lamont knew the pastor that Margie was talking about. He had met the man a few years back at a revival. He preached the congregation so happy that they eagerly jumped in the offering line for the second time that night. Lamont had not been impressed; he’d known that pastor’s motives had not been in line with God, but in lining his own pockets with that second call for an offering. And now he discovered that the man had not only been greedy, but a pedophile as well.

  Marcus had Lamont’s sympathy for what had been done to him. But Lamont couldn’t help but wonder where Marcus’s sympathy had been when it came to what he’d done to Stephanie, so he said, “I get that what your pastor did to you was wrong, but don’t you think that marrying Stephanie, when you knew that you had feelings for men, was also wrong?”

  “I’m not crazy, Pastor Lamont. I knew that I shouldn’t have married Stephanie. But she came after me.” Marcus shrugged. “I thought I could change and be the man that she needed me to be.”

  “So what now? Are you just going to give up trying to be the man she wants you to be so you can run off with another man?” Lamont had a hard time getting those words out of his mouth, but he truly believed that God could fix anything. He just didn’t know why he had so many quitters in his congregation.

  Marcus stood up. His shoulders were slumped as he answered Lamont. “I’m tired of pretending I’m something I’m not.” With that, Marcus walked out of the church.

  ***

  Tired of sitting idly by while the people of God fell by the wayside, Margie made up her mind to do something. She got on her blog and began writing:

  Church hurt is the worst kind of hurt there is. Because when you think about it, most of the people who come to God have already been hurt in some manner by the world. They come to God looking for a city of refuge. Woe unto the wolf in sheep’s clothing who dares to harm a child of God. If that person doesn’t repent, it will be worse for him than it was for Sodom and Gomorrah.