Antecedent
Page 19
"Are you going to give me a hug for trying to save your life also?" he asked.
"You really did save me so I'll give you more than a hug," I said smiling. I walked over and kissed him. I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. All I really wanted to do was curl up next to Bo and go to sleep.
"Have you ever given that Brian guy more than a hug?"
"What? No. Brian and I have always been just friends. Aw Bo, are you jealous?"
"No," he said releasing me. "I was merely curious."
"Don't be jealous," I continued. "I don't think of Brian like that, he's always been kind of like a brother to me."
"I told you I'm not jealous. Vampires don't get jealous. He can have you if he wants you."
"Well, that's a horrible thing to say!" I raised my voice. "It sounds like you don't care about me at all!"
"What do you expect, Em? I'm a vampire. You know I'm void of emotion," he stated frankly. "Do you think I'm going to fall in love with you and we're going to live happily ever after?"
"No, and you're not completely void of emotion, you said they are just muted. So you don't have to love me, but you can still like me, can't you? You can at least not act like an insensitive jerk!"
"I'm not going to have this conversation, you're hormonal," he said.
"Excuse me!" I fired back.
Oh no, he didn't just tell me I was being hormonal. He didn't just pull the PMS card! He sighed in aggravation.
"Are we going to have sex tonight or not?" he asked sounding annoyed.
"You HAVE GOT to be kidding me," I yelled.
"Ok, I guess that's a no, I'm going to head out then."
I couldn't remember a time I was more furious at a man.
"So if I'm not going to have sex with you, you're leaving? Is that it? Is that the only thing you're here for? Is that the only thing I'm good for? Is that the only thing you want from me?"
"No, you're pretty good at running errands too," he laughed trying to make light of the situation and failing miserably. I just glared at him, my blood boiling.
"Don't do this, Em. I don't want to have this conversation. You're getting your emotions involved. You're going to make things complicated."
"Get out!" I yelled at him.
He didn't say anything else, he sighed and walked out.
"Aaarrrgh!" I screamed once he was gone and I kicked the basket of magazines next to the couch. They scattered like paper birds flying across the floor. My foot broke through the basket and almost made me fall which made me even madder. I stood there hopping on one leg screaming, trying to kick the basket off. I kicked my foot a few times before the basket went flying. Bacon went running out of the room, his tail between his legs.
I went through our conversation over and over again in my head as I took a shower and got ready for bed. 'He's not going to have this conversation. I'm being hormonal', 'are we going to have sex or not'? Agh! "I hate men!" I told my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my teeth.
After I laid down in bed, I checked the calendar on my phone. It just added to my frustration that Bo was right, my period was due any day. I probably was PMSing. He was still being insensitive! 'Brian can have me if he wants me' what the hell was that? It really sounded like he was jealous or he didn't care about me at all. How could it be one of those two extremes? How could him acting like that constitute that he had more feelings for me than he admitted to OR that he had no feelings for me at all? Men are complicated.
When I woke up in the morning I didn't feel any better. I was still mad at the whole world. Ok, so it was PMS. I'd been snippy with Brian and Bo last night; maybe it was me. I would avoid human interaction as much as possible today. I didn't have much work to do since yesterday had been so busy.
I didn't get out of my sweatpants or leave the couch all day really. I worked online and watched movies all day. I was thankful that on days they weren't busy down at the shop, Wu would text me and tell me that he had taken care of the dogs so I didn't have to drive down there. I didn't want to see Bo. I didn't want to see anybody. That evening I picked up my phone every three minutes looking to see if I had a text, email, or missed call. Not that I would answer any of them. I didn't want to talk to Bo, I just wanted to know that he wanted to talk to me.
"He's probably off with some hooker," I told Bacon who just looked at me. It was very likely; I had turned him down last night so he could very well have gone out to find his "plan B".
"I really don't care if I hear from him or not," I told Bacon but I continually checked my phone all evening. It was the dreaded relationship standoff. But this isn't a relationship. Was I expecting too much from Bo? Was I expecting boyfriend behavior from a man who wasn't my boyfriend? What if he was with a hooker, he wasn't mine. He didn't belong to me. He didn't owe any loyalty to me. Maybe I was making this complicated. Nobody wants to be sleeping with someone who's sleeping with someone else, though. Sure I didn't have to worry about disease because of Bo's ability to detect stuff like that. I suddenly felt bad for the way I yelled at him. I picked up my phone and texted him
- 9:45 I'm sorry I was so grouchy last night
An hour past, and then two hours?. I was driving myself crazy looking at my phone every few minutes. Why didn't he say anything back? If he would just come back with 'I'm sorry I was being an insensitive jerk' everything would be ok but no, nothing. I was offering the olive branch, and all that jerk had to do was take it. I wish you could UNsend text messages after you've sent them.
The more I thought about it, the more it drove me crazy. Say something back to me?anything! Was he not talking to me now? Was he mad again? Why oh why did I ever sleep with him in the first place? I just want to go back to when we would just hang out and play video games. I just wanted somebody in my life. Somebody to care about me that wouldn't leave me. After my parents and my aunt died, a vampire seemed perfect. I got to thinking about my parents and Aunt Eileen and how I was forever doomed to be alone. Yes, a regular pity party, I know. I cried myself to sleep.
The next day I woke up feeling very sentimental. I planned on taking Brian some lunch. I would stop and see Esther, go hug Wu and Li, and I would make up with Bo. After thinking about the passing of my loved ones last night, it got me to thinking that life was too short not to show the people in your life some love. I also started my period so maybe I wouldn't be quite so cranky now.
Downstairs there was something sitting on my kitchen table. It looked like a small cookie tin. The lid said it was dark chocolate covered pumpkin seeds. Ok, I've never heard of that, but I'd give it a try. Anything chocolate covered couldn't be bad. In my current mood, a gift from Bo made me tear up a little bit. I guess he had accepted my olive branch last night.
I did my regular morning ritual: coffee, newspaper, and the internet. I tried one of the pumpkin seeds. These were awesome! I started eating them by the handful. I took Brian lunch and stopped at a bakery and got Esther a little something. I stayed for awhile and listened to some of her stories, some I already heard and some were new.
I showed up at the shop just before sunset. I made sure to give Wu and Li big hugs when I saw them. I told Wu that I loved him and Li how much I appreciated him. Bo wasn't up yet so I took care of the dogs then sat on the couch and waited for him to get up. I wasn't waiting long when he emerged. He looked incredibly gorgeous. He was shirtless, in some dark blue satin pajama pants, his dark brown hair all a mess.
"Hey," I said smiling at him. "Thanks for the gift."
"You're welcome, dark chocolate and pumpkin seeds are supposed to be good for PMS," he replied. "Em, I think we need to have a talk."
"Ok," I replied nervously.
"I think maybe we should cool it for awhile. I'm afraid you're becoming too emotionally involved."
He was right, about me being too emotionally involved anyway. I realized I was totally nuts over him. I wanted to be with him all the time and when I wasn't with him I was thinking about him. I didn't want to 'cool it', though.
"No, I'm fine really. You were right the other night. I was overly tired and hormonal and just plain grouchy. Being mugged does that to a girl," I joked.
"I don't know," he said, running his hands through his messy hair. "Us being involved is just a bad idea."
"Look, if you're worried about me liking you too much, don't. I think you're a total jerk. I don't even like you half the time," I said jokingly, trying to act as aloof as possible. Inside, I was screaming for him not to leave me.
"I just don't want things to get complicated. I?"
An alarm sounded that I'd never heard before cutting him off mid-sentence.
"What's that?" I asked but Bo was already gone. He was upstairs already. I followed quickly behind him. I didn't know what the alarm was or what it meant.
Upstairs the front door was open and one of the display cases had been busted. Oh no, I thought. We've been robbed. I didn't see anybody, not Bo, Wu, or Li. Then?there, behind one of the counters I heard talking and like a flash Bo was running out the door. He ran outside in his pajama pants, no shirt, or shoes. I went to where he'd come from and Li was lying on the ground. He looked pretty beat up.
"Are you ok? What happened?"
I expected him to tell me about a robbery, instead, he told me a story so much more terrifying. He told me of how seed hunters came in and took his grandson.