Embracing Emma (Companion to Brisé)

by Leigh Ann Lunsford

  “Sure, Dad. That’s your little love nest,” I tease. He and my mom use to sneak to New York a few times a year but haven’t been in years.

  “Baby girl, I’d choose anywhere but that damn state to escape to.” He’s never been particularly fond of going. “Your mom loves seeing shows and shopping, so I indulge her.”

  “She has you trained.”

  “No training necessary. I do whatever it takes to keep my girls happy.”

  “Can I have my keys back?”

  “No.”

  “That makes me unhappy.”

  “Want a pony?”

  “Luke, give her the damn car back. I didn’t like the garage door anyway. It was a perfect excuse to get a new one. You should be thanking her not punishing her for letting me admit that. We both win.” My dad stares at my mom like she has two heads.

  “Twinkle, don’t encourage this. She can’t drive for shit.”

  “Hey, still here.” I don’t have a shot in hell of getting my keys back until I take that course he is insisting on. One more thing to add to my plate.

  “I’m going to buy her whatever she wants when we are in New York.”

  “That will still be cheaper than having her car fixed on a weekly basis.” I shake my head at my mom, letting her know we aren’t winning this one. You have to concede some battles to win the war.

  Since that conversation, my mom’s been stockpiling and plotting like crazy. She bought two extra suitcases for all the purchases she has planned. My dad just chuckles and is happy to indulge her. It pisses her off, and he knows I hate shopping, so I won’t bankrupt him. James tried to wrangle an invitation, but my mom put her foot down. She insists this is a girls’ trip. I made sure our trip ended the same day my QB comes home. I plan to spend every second with him. Our flight leaves in five hours, so I hurry from the school into my dad’s waiting car.

  “My baby is a senior.”

  “Yep. Don’t forget to bring Nana her coffee when you go tomorrow. No fancy stuff. Sneak in a bear claw if you can. I washed the new clothes we got her, so just make sure the aide hangs them up for her. They’re labeled.” I rattle off the instructions to him.

  “Emma, I’ve got this. I know how to take care of my mom.” I know he does, but it makes me feel better because I’ll miss seeing her for four days.

  “I know. I just don’t want you to forget.”

  “I promise you I won’t. I’ll save the photo memories for you. I know you enjoy it. She’ll be fine, I promise you. I want you to make me a promise.”

  “I’ll try and contain Mom.” He smiles at me.

  “That, I’m afraid, is a lost cause. I want you to promise to have fun. Let go and be a seventeen-year-old. Shop, tour schools, let your mom spoil you and Holly.”

  “I will. This is more for them; I’m just a bystander.” I have no desire to be in New York for school.

  “Thank you.”

  “Tell me that when you get the credit card statement.”

  “Ouch.”

  “It will be crushing. I’ll let you measure my happiness by the amount due.”

  “That’s generous.”

  “Just this one time. Don’t get used to me being this lackadaisical with your requests.”

  “Someone took their SAT prep class seriously.”

  I stick my tongue out at him and hurry from the car. I need to throw my toiletries in my suitcase and be ready when my mom comes rushing in. It’s a thing with her. Her signature move with any trip. Last minute business she has to handle, then on the way home she’ll remember ten things she forgot, come in frazzled, and rush me out the door. When we get to the destination, she’ll remember fifty things she didn’t pack.

  Holly is a nervous traveler. I’m contemplating gagging her ass so she will shut up. I want to listen to my music and nap. If she has her way, that isn’t happening. I sigh longingly as I look at my playlist. The Last Goodnight lulls me to my happy place, and she just ripped my plan to shreds. I turn to her. “Holly, do you have an off button?”

  My mom laughs, staring at her iPad, losing herself in a book, I’m sure. “Emma, you know I don’t like flying.”

  “No, I didn’t. I’ve never flown with you, and I can promise you I never will again.”

  “Not nice. You’re supposed to be my BFF.”

  “I’m thinking of renegotiating the terms of our friendship.”

  “You’d be lost without me.”

  “That’s a chance I’m willing to take if you don’t STFU.”

  “Emma Nichols, watch your mouth. Be nice.”

  Holly and I crack up. Our teasing is never-ending, but I know we wouldn’t survive without one another. “Oh Mother dearest,” I sing song, “put the hot motorcycle men down and join us for some girl talk.”

  Her eyes narrow at me; she waits for a few moments before huffing and shutting her device down. “Holly, how’s Andy?”

  “Great. He comes home every other weekend. I’m up there a lot, too.” Holly and Andy are the couple Will and I were supposed to be. I know in my head we are strong, will survive this distance, but we were supposed to have weekends together like they do.

  “That’s sweet, honey.” I shoot them both death glares.

  “Envy looks good on you, Emma.” Holly pinches my arm.

  “Ouch. Why are you looking at colleges half way across the country? You have the perfect set-up.”

  “I know, but I’m seventeen. I’m not planning my life. Just trying to get started on the future. I love Andy, but I don’t know if he is the one. We aren’t all like you and William, destined from birth . . . yada yada yada.”

  She’s right. There aren’t many like Will and I at this age. Call us old souls, but we’ve always had a bond nobody has penetrated. We’re unbreakable. “I agree, Holly. I had what Emma has and lost it for a bit, but when you have that connection, time or distance doesn’t matter. I’m glad you’re spreading your wings, but it’s okay if your plans change. That’s the thing with youth; nothing is set in stone. You have a blank slate as long as you want it. Follow your dreams and your heart, and they will never steer you wrong.”

  “Love you, Mrs. N. I wish my parents got it like you do.”

  “Honey, they love you and understand more than you think. It’s sometimes hard to put ourselves in situations we’ve never experienced. We think we know how we’d react, but in truth, it’s a guess. Your gut reaction will decide for you. Not your head. Not even your heart. It’s a combination of both, a meeting in the middle.”

  “Sage advice, old woman.”

  “Old woman, my ass. I’ll still take you over my knee, Emma Nichols.” I throw my head back and laugh. She’s never done that yet . . . threatened it many times.

  The flight passes in silence, and I manage to drift off, feeling refreshed to hit New York. It is the city that never sleeps. Hustle and bustle nonstop. Panhandlers, open parks, crowded streets and sidewalks, yet at the same time, it feels vast amid the crowds. I can see Holly being happy here, it fits her. There is so much culture mingling with money. I like it, but I don’t love it. I’m a small town girl. I like feeling like I can help people, or call on people for help if I need it, and you can’t get that here.

  We shop, eat, watch shows, get the tour of my mom’s old stomping grounds. I stare at the apartment and can’t picture her here. James and Brett’s old loft is so them, and I can tell they infused a lot of their old style into their house back home. Holly falls in love with Vassar . . . out of all the schools, that is the one she is leaning towards. I don’t see her staying home. This is her world and she is immersed in it. My mom mentioned that if it wasn’t a two-hour commute, she’d offer Holly the apartment, but that is too long of a trek daily.

  Holly is fast asleep from her tours and babbling all day, so it’s just my mom and I talking. “You still set on University baby?”

  I shrug, “I guess. I thought about Washington. Seattle actually. Their MSW program is ranked third in the nation, but I know I can’t do i
t.”

  “Why?”

  “Nana. William.”

  She sets her wine glass down. “Emma, those things shouldn’t stop you. Both of those people would want you to follow your dreams. Hell, if they were able, they’d follow you as you embark that path. It is just a few years of your life, so don’t squander them. You’ll never get a repeat of this time. If you want to do this, you should.”

  “I’m not one hundred percent sure. I’m thinking maybe two years at Georgia and then switching for my Masters. We’ll know more about Nana, and William will be done with school.”

  “Don’t base your decision on others’ circumstances.” I roll my eyes. I know it’s her job to support me, push me, challenge me . . . right now I don’t want that. I want her to tell me what to do, but mostly I want her to say that Georgia is the right option.

  “I won’t.” I lie. I’ll keep my options open, but I’ll stay close to those I love.

  The drive home from the airport to my house was taking forever. Made longer by the fact I know William arrived home fifteen minutes ago, and my dad has called no less than ten times frustrated by the fact that he couldn’t pick us up. My mom likes to defy him every once in a while and left her car in the parking lot. “How much longer, Mom?”

  “Emma, you know this road. If you’d like to get out and tell the people in the accident they are inconveniencing you, I’m sure they’d move. I mean what’s a minor fender bender with a few ambulances to help the injured parties when you need to get home?”

  “Sarcasm doesn’t become you.” I slit my eyes at her.

  “Impatience doesn’t suit you either, my dear.” Andy picked Holly up at the airport, and they were already in each other’s arms as we collected our luggage. Lucky bitch.

  “Touché.” Nothing I do will make the time move faster and the traffic thin, so I turn up the radio and text him letting him know what’s going on.

  Me: We will probably be another hour. Traffic. Car accident.

  Will: Okay baby. I’ll hop in the shower and spend some time with Dad and Pops. Waiting on you.

  Me: Love you.

  Will: Love you.

  “What class are you taking this summer?”

  “I’m taking a humanities class. It’s an AP so worth another college credit.”

  “You excited?”

  “Yep.”

  “You still sure about your major?”

  “Yes. I think I want to go into international adoption, though. I thought I’d be happy assisting families, like they did with us, maybe working in a hospital to make transitions easier. The more I weigh my option, I think I’d rather help someone begin a new life, create a family.”

  “Brett and James could have used someone like that.”

  “They didn’t have that?” Everything I’ve studied says social workers are standard operations with adoptions, so I can only imagine it’d be more important with international laws, language barriers, etcetera.

  I see her look out the window and purse her lips. “I don’t know. Probably.”

  “I would have thought you would have met them. Home studies, interviews, all that.”

  “That was so long ago, Emma. I don’t remember. I was so happy my friends were creating their dream, and I had just had you.” Her tone rises in volume, and she rushes her words.

  “Okay, Mom. Calm down.” Her teeth bite into her lip, and she lets out a shrill laugh.

  “Goodness, you’d think you already had this job. You’ll be good the way you interrogate people.”

  “I asked a question. A quite simple one. You’re the one freaking.”

  “I’m not freaking. I’m just anxious to get home.” I let it go. I’m just as anxious to get home. What feels like hours later, we pull into the driveway, and I make a mad dash for the boy who stole my heart. He’s waiting on his tailgate for me and catches me with ease when I tackle him.

  “Hi, honey. Don’t worry, I’ll get your bags. Nice to see you,” my dad hollers across the street. I laugh, and Will grabs me tighter.

  “I’ll be home in a few. Mom must have learned her sarcasm skills from you. At least you’re still master of some of your domain.”

  “Smart ass,” he throws back at me. “William, bring her home shortly.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You’ll be coming home with me. I’m not letting you go until I have to.”

  “Bossy aren’t you. How was New York?”

  I shrug, non-committal. I know he’ll want me to pursue whatever school I want, and if I tell him about Washington, he’ll push me. “Too big for me.” It’s not a lie; it’s a huge, bustling city. One that doesn’t offer me anything. Seattle, on the other hand, is a city I’d love to get lost in. Each have big populations in their own right, but one holds an appeal the other doesn’t. In New York, I’d lose myself because I’m not following my dream, but my best friend. In Seattle I’d follow my dreams but not my heart.

  “My country girl.”

  “Whatever. I think University will be plenty big for me.” And as far as I want to venture from my family and him.

  “I have five days home before camp.”

  “Well, we have five days to reacquaint with one another.”

  “Sounds promising.”

  “Oh, it will be.”

  And it was.

  Five days of bliss.

  Five days of whispered promises.

  Five days of shared moments.

  Five days to get us through the next five weeks, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

  Chapter Twenty

  William

  Camp and training were brutal. I had five days with my girl and five weeks without her. To make matters worse, Brian and Seth have been in my rearview the entire drive home, so my wish for them to stay at school is squashed in front of my eyes. I called Ems last night and told her Blake was coming home with me for a few weeks, I couldn’t get a read on her emotions, but he promised to run interference with the asshole squad.

  “Quit looking. They aren’t going anywhere.”

  “I don’t know why I thought they’d make my life easier.”

  “I got this. They are taking me to a kegger tonight, and I’ll keep them busy until I talk them into going back to campus. Just focus, QB.”

  I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t dealt with the taunts all year or the fact we haven’t been in town where the triggers lie, but now the memories are flooding back and making my blood boil. “I’m trying. I know my girl, and if they act like the fools they are, she won’t stay out of it.”

  “Leave it to me. Trust me, I’ve got your back.” I nod and concentrate on the highway and miles separating me from the other half of my heart. We reach my street before I know it. I pull into my driveway with Seth and Brian speeding past, blowing their horn. “God, they’re dicks. I don’t know how you dealt with that shit growing up.”

  “My best tactic was avoidance, but they don’t like being ignored. I had it all planned, and that shit the bed.”

  “At least you knocked his ass down. I’d love to see a repeat of that.”

  “You may get your wish if they don’t leave Emma alone.”

  “Nah, it won’t come to that.” I lead him up the stairs to the front door. Emma hasn’t barged out of her house yet, and that worries me. I’m sure she thinks Blake will cramp our style, but he’s here to help our time. I introduce Blake to my parents and leave them getting to know each other while I jog across the street.

  Luke opens the door. “She’ll be back in a bit. Nana was having a good day, and she didn’t want to leave.” I nod. I am happy she is getting these moments, but I’d be a liar if I said I am not disappointed that she isn’t in my arms.

  “That’s great, Mr. N. I’ll be at home. Just let her know.”

  “How was camp?”

  “Tough. Hot. Good.”

  “This is your year, I can feel it.”

  “I hope so. We need the wins.” I lift my hand in a wave as I head back home. Blak
e is sprawled on the living room floor, stuffing his face with my dad’s famous salsa perched against his stomach and chips in hand.

  “This shit is the best,” he manages with his mouth full.

  I laugh, expecting the slap to the back of the head for his language. That shit never happens, and I look at the grinning loons realizing they don’t care. “Yep, I grew up eating that.”

  “Lucky bastard.” I smirk and shake my head. My parents just sit back, soaking it in, beaming with pride. I stop mid-step, and it hits me. I robbed them of this—the camaraderie of my friends because I didn’t really have any. Emma was my lifeline, and Brian and Seth had skewed my image on what friendship was. I’m a coward. I didn’t invite anyone over thinking they would feel the same as those twats, I never wanted my parents to hear the things being said. I’m almost twenty fucking one years old, and this is the first time anyone other than Ems has been here. Shit…what a screw-up I am.

  I plop down on the recliner and watch their interaction. Jokes, most of them crude from Blake, laughter, smiles, and fun are happening in my home. Blake knew I had two dads, and he took it in stride. It didn’t phase him one iota. He assured me most people are like him, but I have my doubts. I’ve never experienced that, only dealing with the opposite. He’s at ease with them, and informing them how we ran the new plays and drills in camp. “You ready for the season?” Brett asks me.

  “Yep. I’m pumped. We have a shot to make it to playoffs.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Y’all should come to some games if you can.” It’s been so long since I’ve included them. I hid a huge part of my life for no good reason. I didn’t believe the slurs and jokes spoken to me, I knew my parents loved one another, and when there is that much love, it can’t be wrong. But while I didn’t believe them, I wasn’t sure others didn’t. It was easier to bury my head in the sand. Struggling against the grain wasn’t embedded in me, I was taught from an early age to go with the flow, do anything to stay under the radar. I’m sure that came from my formative years being spent making sure I wasn’t sent back. Brett and James adopted me, brought me into their home, and included me in their life . . . I didn’t want to go back, I wanted them to be proud of me. I didn’t want to create problems. I didn’t want them to regret choosing me.