“I’m not sure I like the sound of that. I mean, someone dictating my life to me, what I can or can’t do.”
“Club life, darlin’,” he says, smirking. “Look, if you don’t want Quill, make it clear, don’t string him along, but I’ve seen you two together. You have this thing between you that is hard to find.” Hawke looks over at Lu with some emotion lingering there. Lu doesn’t catch his expression as she’s distracted by cleaning up the kitchen. Does he feel like that about Lu?
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate everything you’re saying. Quill does mean a lot to me. He actually said he loves me last night.”
“He what”? Lu says, practically jumping over the bench at me.
“He said he loves me. I think I love him too, but I think it’s too soon.”
Hawke barrels over with laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Lu asks, staring daggers at Hawke.
“Nothin, babe, I just find it amusing that Quill said ‘I love you.’ What a fucking pussy.”
“Well, I’m happy to amuse you, Hawke, but I gotta get ready as I’m meeting Nic in a couple of hours and should probably leave early with Lu and help her open the store,” I say, getting up from my stool and heading to my bedroom.
“Don’t worry about helping me open the store, Jazz,” Lu says. “Hawke can take you.”
I stop in my tracks and stare back at Lu, frowning. “It’s fine, Lu. I’ll come with you.”
“Don’t be silly, Jazz,” Lu says as she puts the dishes in the sink. “Hawke, you take her there later on and keep an eye out to make sure she’s okay just in case I’m swamped with customers. I’ll drive my car there, and then, Jazz, you can come home with me.”
“What the hell, Luisa? I don’t need Hawke looking out for me. I’m a big girl!” I state, my hands waving in the air.
“Sorry, darlin’, you have no say in it. I’m taking you. Someone’s gotta look out for my brother’s old lady,” he says, chuckling.
I glance over at my best friend then back at Hawke in shock. “Fine,” I say in a huff and glance over my shoulder before I declare, “and I’m not his old lady!”
“We’ll see,” Hawke replies, and I stomp off to my room, pissed that I’m being treated like a child.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jasmine
After washing my bed linen to rid them of the scent of what Quill and I shared last night, I took a shower and I’m dressed by 10.30 a.m. I apply a light amount of makeup and brush out my curls. I’ve gone for the casual look, wearing blue jeans with an off-the-shoulder tunic and knee-high boots. I have my uniform at the shop, so that I can change later.
“You ready, Jazz?” Hawke asks as he leans against my bedroom door, looking all clean and showered. He’s dressed in jeans, a tight-fitting plaid shirt, and his cut. His hair is still damp, and it’s tied up in a man bun. His hands are in his pockets, and he’s wearing a pained expression.
“You okay, Hawke?” I ask as he walks into my room and shuts the door. He moves over to my bed and takes a seat on the end of it, facing me. “What’s going on?”
He leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “Listen, Jasmine, with me coming today, it doesn’t mean I agree with what you’re doing. If Quill saw you on the back of my bike, he would kill me, but I’m coming to look out for you and make sure his woman is safe.”
“I appreciate this, Hawke, but I’m really not his woman. He walked out on me last night. He obviously has trust issues, and I don’t think we can fix what’s broken.”
“Trust him, Jasmine. He’s angry right now, but when he cools down, he’ll realize he fucked up. Just give him time.”
His words hit me deep. I’m so angry at Quill, but at the same time, I miss him and can’t imagine being without him. His look alone makes my world stand still. I can’t imagine not having Quill in my life, maybe he’ll cool off and we can talk. I decide to give him some time.
I give Hawke a hug. “Thanks, Hawke, you’re a good friend.”
“Whatever,” he says, looking out of his comfort zone.
“Shall we?” I lift my chin toward the door.
“Let’s go.”
Luisa has already left to open the store, and I walk with Hawke to his bike, feeling awkward as I sit behind him, unsure of where to put my hands. With Quill, I enjoyed wrapping my arms around his body, holding him close to me, but it just doesn’t feel right with Hawke.
I’m snapped out of my thoughts when Hawke hands me a helmet. “Here you go, darlin’.” I put it on and sit on the bike as far back as I can. I grip the back of the seat, hoping I can last the whole ride like this.
“You’re gonna have to hold tight. I like going fast.” There goes holding the back of the seat. Looks like I’m going to have to hold on for my dear life.
“Great,” I whisper to myself and then wrap my hands around Hawke, but not too tightly.
He peeks at me over his shoulder as he starts up the engine. I hold him tighter, worried that he’s going to take off fast, and then I hear him shout, “Jesus, Jasmine, I still want to breathe.”
“Sorry,” I say, giggling. Hawke revs the bike and the vibrations run through my body. I feel a little tender from last night, but it’s a reminder of what Quill and I shared. Hawke takes off with no warning, and I scream in surprise, gripping him even tighter.
We arrive at Je t’aime's right at 11:00 a.m. I climb off the bike and hand Hawke my helmet.
“You can leave now, Hawke. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Not happening. I’m staying to make sure everything goes smoothly.”
“Fine,” I say, narrowing my eyes at him, not in the mood to argue.
He takes out his phone and gives it his attention, so I walk into the store and wipe my sweaty palms down my jeans. I’m nervous. As I enter the store, Luisa shoots her eyes to where Nic is seated. I spot him beside the window as he waves me over. Here goes nothing. I take a deep breath and walk over to his table. He stands up when I approach the table with a wide grin. Once I reach him, he embraces me and kisses my cheek before pulling back to gaze into my eyes.
Feeling uncomfortable, I move out of his embrace and slide onto the chair opposite his. Giving him a once-over, I decide he looks good. He’s wearing a white, button-down shirt with a fastening undone at the top of his neck. His dark hair is styled with gel, and his dark brown eyes seem clear and filled with happiness, just like the Nic I met that very first day.
“You look good, Jasmine,” Nic says, smiling as he reaches over to grasp my hand that was resting in the middle of the table. I smile at him and discreetly pull my hand out of his hold and place it in my lap, feeling uncomfortable with the intimate gesture. I feel a little shy, like the first time we met at this very same place. It’s all so bittersweet. His familiar scent of sweet spice brings back memories of a time when I was happy.
“You look good too, Nic, and happy.”
“I am, Jasmine, I really am. I’ve gotten the help I need and am finally on the other side of hell.” Nic sits back in his seat and gives me a huge grin. His happiness is contagious, so I smile back.
“I’m happy for you, Nic. I’m so glad that you finally got yourself back on track,” I say as I twist my hands in my lap, nervous as to where this conversation is heading.
“I ordered a black coffee, extra sweet just like you like it,” he says, winking at me. “Hope you don’t mind. Is it still your favorite?”
“Yes, it is actually,” I respond, snapping my head over to where Ricky is glaring at us. Lu must have told him that I’m having coffee with my ex. I turn back to face Nic and our eyes lock. He licks his lips just like he used to when he was nervous, and we just stare at each for a moment until we’re interrupted by Ricky delivering our coffees.
“Thanks, Ricky,” I say as he places mine in front of me.
“No problem, Jazz. You feeling better?” he asks.
“Much better, thanks.”
He smiles back at me and looks at Nic with interest as
he places his flat white in front of him.
“Anything else you two need?” Ricky asks.
“Thank you, but we’re all good here,” Nic replies. I stare at Nic for a moment as he adds sugar in his coffee. I can’t help but compare him to Quill. Nic is handsome, but more like the boy-next-door. But he has nothing on Quill. Where Quill is all man with muscles and a stance of authority, Nic is still like a boy in my eyes. Being with Quill has made me realize what love really is. Even though I’m sure I loved Nic, was I really in love with him? I can’t help but question my feelings as I continue to stare at his manicured nails and smooth hands. I remember how rough Quill’s hands feel when they roam my body. Goddamn, he was every girl’s fantasy. Then why am I here, having coffee with Nic?
“So, how are you, Jasmine? Are you happy?”
I’m brought back to the present. How do I answer that? “Yes, I’m happy, Nic. Je t’aime’s is doing well. We have a cafe now too,as you can see and—”
My words are halted when Nic whispers, “I miss you, Jasmine. I’ve never stopped loving you.” My eyes widen and my heart beats faster as he continues. “I know I shouldn’t be coming out and saying this, but I want you back. Is there any way you can forgive me and we make this work? I know I fucked up, but believe me when I say I miss us. And if you give me another chance, I promise it will be different this time.”
I feel tears hit my hand and realize I’m crying. His admission caught me off guard, and I guess it just brought back memories about how bad I wanted to hear those words in the first couple of months after our separation. If he had said this to me months ago, then maybe we would have had a chance, but I’ve changed now. I know what real love is. I thought I loved Nic, but Quill had made me see what love should be. There’s no way I could go back to him. I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand and take a sip of coffee, trying to figure out how I’m going to let him down easy.
My eyes then focus on his and I shake my head. “You can’t be serious, Nic. You want me back?”
Leaning over the table, he places his hand on my check and starts rubbing it with his thumb. “I’ve missed you so much, Jasmine. I miss my wife. Say you’ll give it another chance?” His eyes are soft as they gaze into mine, and I almost feel sorry for him. But where was he when he cared only for himself. How can he expect me to just forget all the pain that he put me through?
“But we’re divorced, Nic,” I confirm. “It’s over between us.”
“Look, I’m not saying we get married again or anything,” he pleads. “I just want to go back to the old days, you know, date you and take you out to dinners and movies.”
I remove his hand from my face and look him dead in the eye. “Look, Nic, I’m sorry if I’ve given you the wrong impression, but the answer is no. I can’t go back. I don’t feel that way about you anymore.”
“Is there someone else?” he whispers. “I saw that biker drop you off.”
“That’s none of your business, Nic. I don’t want to discuss this anymore. I came to meet you because you wanted closure, and that’s what I’m going to give you. I forgive you, but you and I are not going to happen again. I’m sorry you thought otherwise, but I’ve just got my life back, and I’m enjoying getting to know myself again.” I go to stand up when something in the corner of my eye catches my attention outside. I spot Hawke and Quill having an argument across the road. I stiffen, and Nic follows my gaze.
“Are those your new friends, Jasmine?” Nic asks, sounding as if he tastes acid on his tongue. I ignore him as my eyes fall on Quill and notice how mad he is at Hawke. Hawke is rubbing his chin from a blow Quill just gave him. Hawke strides up to him and says something that looks harsh, and Quill looks like he’s ready to strike again. Should I go to him?
“Jasmine, look at me. Are you all right?” I didn’t realize how long I was just standing there staring.
“Yes, I’m good. Look, Nic,” I say as I glance back at him, “I need to go. Something’s come up. It was great seeing you.” I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder.
“Ah, yeah, you too, Jasmine. Are you sure you’re all right?” he repeats and stands with me, escorting me out of my store. I try to get him to sit back down, but he refuses. I don’t have time for this, so I rush out with Nic hot on my heels.
When I get to the front, Quill is about to straddle his bike. I notice Hawke has a split lip and looks utterly pissed off. I storm up to Quill and yell, “Quill, what are you doing here?” He’s just about to put his helmet on, but stops and glares at me. His eyes travel over the length of my body, and I’m sure I see lust written on his face, even if it’s just for a brief moment.
I feel hands on my shoulders and hear Nic’s voice say, “Jasmine, step away from that biker trash.”
I ignore Nic and face Quill again, saying, “Quill, we need to talk. There’s nothing going on here.” But Quill doesn’t respond. He has this savage look in his eyes, and I see his jaw clench and his fists tighten when he sees Nic’s hands on me. Oh my God, he’s gonna kill him. Before I have a chance to say anything else, Quill storms past me and grips Nic by his collared shirt. It all happens in a split second, because all of a sudden, Nic is on the ground, crying out in pain with a broken nose.
“Quill!” I scream, but I only get a brief glance before he’s calling Nic a fucking pussy and warning him never to put his hands on his woman again. His woman? Did I hear him correctly?
I go to help Nic up, but Hawke holds me back, whispering, “Leave him. He needs to do this. There isn’t anything you can say or do that’s gonna stop him.”
I struggle in Hawke’s arms, trying to break free, but he won’t budge.
I start yelling out Quill’s name again, but he doesn’t give me the time of day. Nic is pleading for Quill not to hurt him further, and that’s when Quill finally glances at me, but his look is full of disgust. He snickers when he questions, “This is the fucking pussy that you chose over me, Jasmine?”
I don’t know what to say, and then he’s up and striding over to me. Tears fall from my eyes as I see his expression is void of any emotion. I can’t stand to see this look on him. I love him, and he’s staring back at me as if I mean nothing to him. I lower my eyes, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me this way, but he lifts my chin with his finger, gaining my attention.
“I hope you’re happy, baby. I opened myself up to you last night and told you I loved you, something I’ve never done before. I was wrong to think that you were different.” He briefly looks back at Nic, who’s still whimpering over his broken nose, and then smirks at me. “You just proved to me that all you women are the same.” He looks deep into my eyes and states, “Fucking whores!”
I flinch, shocked. My body trembles as I sob. My breathing comes out fast, and I can barely get a breath as he removes his hand from my chin and heads to his bike, placing his helmet over his face. I watch him ride away from me and absently hear Hawke yell something out to him.
Hawke finally lets me go, and I run to Nic to make sure he’s okay. “Get off me, Jasmine,” Nic demands as he gets off the ground with blood still trickling down his face.
“Let me help you, Nic.”
But he steps away from me and shakes his head. “Are these the type of friends that you’re hanging around with these days?”
I look back at Hawke, and he has an amused grin on his face.
“Look, Nic, things are a little complicated right now. I think it’s best if we go our separate ways and don’t see each other again.”
Nic puffs out a breath and says, “Have it your way, Jasmine. You can go back to that biker trash if that’s what you want.”
I ignore his name-calling and turn to Hawke, “Can you take me home, please?”
Hawke nods in agreement and straddles his bike, holding his helmet out to me.
I grab it and look back at Nic before I place it over my head. “I’m sorry you got in the middle of this, Nic. Good luck with everything.” And with that said, I place the h
elmet over my head and hold on tight.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Quill
I groan as I wake up to the sun glaring through my bedroom. My head is aching, and I can still taste liquor in my mouth. “Torn To Pieces” by Pop Evil is playing on my iPod, reminding me exactly of what happened last night. I fucking walked away from, Jasmine. I came back to the clubhouse after leaving Jasmine at her apartment, and there was a club party in full force. My boys deserved to party after the week they had. After speaking to Tracker, I decided to join my boys, have a few drinks to celebrate. One drink turned into two, and that’s all I remember. I was trying to erase any memory of Jasmine, but the fucking alcohol didn’t work its magic. It soon wore off and the memory of Jasmine’s beautiful face played on me through the night.
I even contemplated fucking Jess just to get her out of my mind, but I couldn’t follow through with it. As soon as I looked into Jess’s eyes, I knew I couldn’t do it. No fucking way could I have another woman after I’ve had Jasmine. So I threw her out of my room, and let’s just say, she wouldn’t go easily.
My mind steers back to yesterday, when I walked out on Jasmine after I caught her on the phone with her ex. What the hell is she thinking? The guy sent her to hell and back and she’s still going to meet that asshole. Like fuck he wants closure; this fucker has another agenda and she’s too blind to see it. I’d given her an ultimatum, hoping she would listen and choose me, but she is too goddamn bullheaded to see past all his bullshit.
When I returned to the clubhouse last night, I went in search of Tracker, wanting a rundown on Nic to see what his story is. I found out that he had lost everything with his gambling addiction. Jasmine lost everything except her store, and she was forced to live with Luisa in that apartment. The hurt that I saw on her face when I gave her an ultimatum still plays on my mind. Maybe I overreacted, but she has to know I’m the one calling the shots. If I want her to be my old lady, then she’s going to have to get used to taking orders from me. It’s club law.
Tame Me (Book #1 in the Blood Brothers MC Series) Page 18