Hope (Things That Matter Book 2)

by Casey Diam

  “I don’t know. I just know I’m about to murder this kid.” Calvin seethed.

  “What? Calvin, what are you talking about?”

  “I can’t even fucking say it. My sister.”

  It was then that I heard a girl crying in the background. “Calvin, what did you do? I hate you!”

  “Just come to my house, man. You have to talk to her.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  ❧

  The small apartment on the outskirts of Boston was stuffy and smelled of stale cigarette smoke. Although, after doing a quick scan of the apartment, I could see that it was spotless, except for the stained carpeting and a worn-out fabric couch.

  “This way,” Calvin said, ushering me to what was his sister’s room from what I remembered the few times I’d stopped by in the past.

  It’d been a while since I’d been back here.

  The room we entered reeked of weed, and Calvin’s fifteen-year-old sister, Sasha, was kneeling on the floor, practically naked in the getup she had on. She was tending to a dude, who I was sure my best friend had just laid the fuck out. Not only that, but his fly was undone, exposing red boxers. Treading closer to where she knelt, I stared down. This had to be the same dude Calvin had suspected Sasha had been texting over the past few weeks. Blood trickled down the guy’s jaw from his busted lip that was already swelling. This was no high school kid.

  I was the wrong fucking person to call.

  I used my shoe to nudge his side, and he groaned. “How old are you?”

  Sasha stared up, noticing someone besides her brother was here. “I love him,” she pleaded, her eyes brimming with tears.

  Fuck.

  “How old is he, Sasha?”

  She shook her head, and I could see it in her eyes. She was scared to tell me the truth.

  “Come.” I extended my hand to her. “Let’s go for a walk.”

  She violently shook her head, glancing at Calvin.

  “He isn’t going to touch him,” I promised, trying to keep her eyes focused on mine.

  She nodded and stood, giving me a full view of her shorts that looked like underwear and a see-through top, exposing her midriff.

  My jaw tightened. “Get your coat or something.”

  As soon as we stepped outside, Sasha threw her arms around me. “Please, don’t make me stop seeing him.”

  I wrapped my arms around her and said, “Tell me the truth. How old is that guy? He’s nowhere near your age, and I need you to be honest with me.”

  “You’ll hate me.”

  “No. Why would I hate you?”

  “Because what I did was stupid, but I love him.”

  My forearms held her to me as my hands curled into fists. “What did you do, and how old is he?”

  “Twenty-one,” she whispered.

  “Jesus, what were you thinking? Does Calvin know?”

  She shook her head.

  “Does this guy...does he know you’re only fifteen?”

  “He does now. Calvin—” She hiccupped and started crying again.

  Sasha was bigger in size compared to even Lisa or Paige and looked older, which could make it easy for guys to mistake her age—and even worse, if she lied about it.

  “Did he force you into—”

  “It was me. He didn’t know. He thought I was a senior.”

  “You can’t...” Fuck, I didn’t want to be the first one to break her heart, but it was necessary. This was why Calvin had called. It was better she hated me for it than him. He was the only male figure she could look up to. “He’s too old.”

  “No.” She held me tighter and stomped a foot. “He loves me.”

  “So do your mom and brother. And, if that guy loves you, he’ll let you go. He’ll stop seeing you, so you can enjoy your teen years. He’ll wait for you until you’re older, much older, or he’ll find someone else. But, right now, you and him, it isn’t going to work, Sasha.”

  Removing her arms from around me, she stepped back and raised her voice, alerting a few passersby. “You can’t do this. You can’t make me stop seeing him.”

  “But I will,” I said without a hint of remorse.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Paige

  It was four a.m., and I was staring at the wall in front of my desk, stuck. I wanted to get at least one letter done, so I could mail it before leaving for the weekend, but apparently, that wasn’t going to happen. I had three more letters to write to Alex Connor. One from my biological mom, one from my biological dad, and the last one from me. I didn’t have proof that Alex Connor had killed my real parents, but everything leading up to now told me he had before abducting me. So, he’d get a letter from them, too. Only I was stuck because I didn’t know what to write. I never knew them. I didn’t know what they’d wanted in life or who they had been as a person. And I hadn’t been able to find anything online or through Bailey that could lead me back to any relatives I might still have.

  Lifting the spiral notebook, I closed it and sighed.

  Three slow knocks came from my room door, and my heart leaped.

  Caleb.

  I’d been so anxious to see him since he left this morning. I’d even thought he would pick me up when my last shift ended sometime after three a.m. at the bar downtown, but Rob had picked me up instead.

  “Come in,” I said, elation tingling across my skin.

  I wanted to rush to him, but desperation was never a good look. Not that I could move when the door opened, and I saw Caleb in nothing but black gym shorts. From there, all thoughts left me as I stared at his chiseled chest and abs so tight that I wanted my fingers to glide over them like clothes on a washboard. My gaze dropped. I should stop, but knowing what was coming was the same reason my eyes continued to lower. It was impossible for him to hide an always-there bulge when he was in gym shorts or sweatpants or—

  Oh God.

  My throat dried, and my mouth watered.

  Great job trying not to act desperate.

  I cleared my throat, lifted my hand to my hair, and turned away from him as I rose from the chair at my desk. “What’s up?” My voice sounded high-pitched and stupid.

  “Happy birthday.”

  “What? Oh.” It was my birthday. I turned to look at him.

  “You’re acting weird,” he said, scrutinizing my face before his eyes dropped to my chest.

  “More than usual?”

  “Yeah.” A mischievous smile flitted across his lips, but it disappeared with a quick swipe of his tongue. Stretching out a hand, he opened his palm, revealing a hair tie. “I got you a birthday present.”

  “What?” A laugh burst out from me as I peered at the multicolored hair tie. I took it out of his palm. “Are you messing with me?”

  “No. You don’t like it?” he asked, frowning.

  He was serious.

  “No, I love it. It’s”—I stretched it between my fingers—“pretty, and the first birthday gift I’ve gotten in five years,” I said honestly.

  “Since you’re so casual and never wear jewelry or anything like that, I didn’t know what else to get you. I figured this was my best chance to get you something you’d wear. But, if this is your first birthday gift in five years, this is fucking horrible. I’ll get you—”

  “No. I love it. Really. Thank you.” Stepping forward, I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around him. “It’s thoughtful. You’re thoughtful.”

  We stayed in each other’s arms for what felt like minutes until my breathing grew uneven, my body beginning to take note of his strong physique flush against mine. He didn’t have an erection, but I could still feel him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, smoothing a hand over my hair.

  “About what?” I asked.

  “For taking what wasn’t mine to have.”

  A sudden ache flared inside my chest. “What?” Loosening my arms around him, I tilted my head.

  He closed his eyes for a second, but as he opened them, I could see the darkness. L
ike there was a war he was fighting inside, alone. I had no idea what else was going on inside of him besides the few bits and pieces he’d told me about the nurse. But this wasn’t about that. This was about us.

  “Caleb, talk to me.”

  “It’s nothing. You just...” His hand brushed the hair back from my face, and warmth flowed through me. “You deserve everything, and nothing should be taken. I shouldn’t have...it was wrong.”

  Tears stung the backs of my eyes because, what I’d feared he was saying, he was actually saying. This was about him being my first.

  I pulled away from him and folded my arms across my chest. “You’re hurting me.”

  “What?” He seemed puzzled, like this was news to him.

  “I’ve only been trying to stay away from you because it’s what you want, Caleb. It isn’t what I want. And when you say things like that, it hurts. It makes me feel like crap.”

  “What? Jesus, Paige. I-I don’t...” He sighed. “It’s not you, okay? It isn’t right, what I did. That’s all I’m saying. It shouldn’t have been me.”

  “But it was, and I’m sorry if you regret it, but I don’t.” Turning, I walked the short distance to my bed and crawled into it, keeping my back to him as I lay on my side. “You can see yourself out. I’m going to bed.”

  “I don’t regret it. I regret what it’s doing to us now.”

  “My virginity wasn’t a thing, Caleb. It isn’t doing anything to us. You are. And, if you didn’t have sex with me then, you would have by now. You, Miller, or even one of your friends—what difference does it make?”

  Words were weapons.

  I knew how powerful they could be, which was why I used them. I wanted him to hurt like he was hurting me, and it worked because, the next second, my door slammed shut.

  I didn’t understand why we kept hurting each other.

  Why couldn’t it work between us? Why did it always seem to end like this now?

  Rolling onto my back and then onto my other side, I faced the door he’d just gone through. I tugged on the hair tie I’d slid around my wrist. It was pretty and super girlie with all the bright green, pink, and orange colors.

  My door cracked open, and Caleb walked back in. Combing a hand through his hair and then leaving it to settle at the back of his neck, he looked like how I felt. Defeated.

  “We have to stop doing this to each other.”

  “I was thinking the same thing.” My gaze dropped. “You first.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  I let my eyes trail from the gift around my wrist up to him. “I’m sorry, too.” I swallowed. “For what I said.”

  I watched as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his gym shorts.

  My feelings for him were so intense, so forceful sometimes that I didn’t know how to handle them. I’d never felt anything like them before, and I was almost positive I’d fallen in love with Caleb.

  That couldn’t be right though because, thinking about it, I wanted to panic. People in love were...floating on cloud nine or something.

  He walked toward the bed, and I met his gaze.

  “Is it okay if I sleep in here tonight?”

  “You sound like you’re scared I might strangle you in your sleep or something.”

  “Jesus, Paige,” he said, and we both chuckled.

  I squinted. “Just don’t try to kiss me again because you’re in the friend zone now.”

  He crawled under the sheets, inching closer to me, and my breathing stopped. He held so much sex appeal, my lips and throat suddenly felt dry as his half-naked body neared.

  “The friend zone? Really?”

  The smoothness of his voice sent a tremor through me, and it didn’t help that he was tossing me one of his flirtatious gazes. My eyes zoomed in on the flex of his biceps as he pulled the duvet up to cover himself.

  “Yep,” I said before that same strong arm circled around my back and pulled me close. “Friend zone,” I breathed.

  “I’ve missed you.” The stubble on his jaw brushed against my cheek and neck as his lips touched a sensitive spot beneath my ear.

  Damn it.

  “I think a cheek kiss is okay in the friend zone.” His breath trailed a fiery path down my neck, and I slanted my head to elongate my neck, waiting for the touch of his lips, but it never came.

  “Ugh,” I complained.

  He laid his head on the pillow nearby with a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

  Stubbornly, I shook my head, resting my hand on my pillow, but as we stared at each other, I groaned. “Fine. Why don’t you want to sleep with me? Are you not into me anymore?” I stared over his shoulder as I continued, “Do you still think we’re related? Is that why? I know we don’t have your birth certificate, but I have mine, and you know Alex Connor is your father now and the way you play music and—”

  Caleb took my hand from the pillow and dragged it beneath the sheet to the hardness bulging from the soft material of his shorts. I gasped before instinct took over, and I gripped him in my hand. His eyes closed, and my thighs squeezed together with the wetness already pooling between them. It was crazy how I had been embarrassed about my body’s reaction before I had sex, but since then, all I could think about was how much he loved when I got this way for him, and how good it felt when his cock was buried inside of me.

  “I got my birth certificate today.”

  I swallowed, my hand still holding his heated shaft, worried he might not let me touch him again if I let go.

  “Olivia is or was...I don’t know what happened to her, but she’s my mother.” He leaned in and kissed me, caressing and tugging my lips between his, before he spoke against my mouth, his breath adding fuel to the flames inside of me. “A part of me was concerned about the possibility, but now that I have this proof...” He thrust his hips, and his length filled my hand so immensely that, for the briefest second, I wondered if he could still fit inside me. “We can talk later. I need you, right now,” he whispered, capturing my mouth again.

  Large hands yanked at the waist of my leggings, and I released him for a second to help get rid of them while he pulled at his own shorts. Before I could ogle his body, his lips pressed against my collarbone and then kindled a path up my neck and over my cheek to my waiting lips. Squirming beneath his passionate kisses, I sucked on his lip, giving it a gentle nip.

  I needed more.

  His lips left mine, brushing over my cheek and down my neck as his hand slid down my spine. He grabbed my ass and gave it a slap before kneading it in his palm. As he sucked on the skin at the base of my neck, I moaned and wrapped a leg around his thigh. The heated length of his cock glided over my sex as I writhed, and a desperate pant escaped my lips.

  “Fuck, I can feel how wet you are on my cock.”

  He rolled his hip, massaging my sex with his cock, and we both moaned, wanting so much more. His fingers slipped between my folds from behind, circling before dipping inside. I inhaled and my head lolled back.

  “Fuck, condom. Please tell me you have a—”

  “No,” I gasped.

  He grunted. “Come here.”

  He rolled me beneath him and then on top at the same time his feet swung around to the floor. He was so hard beneath me that he could be inside me with one simple movement. His lips found mine, and strong arms pulled me closer as he stood. My legs tightened around his waist as my hands curled around his neck. Not even a second later, we were in his room.

  Chapter Twenty

  Caleb

  My knees hit the edge of my bed next to my nightstand when I stopped the hottest make-out session of my life. I was being selfish, but fuck it. It was my life’s mission to be selfish with her at this second.

  “Let go and fall back,” I said as I leaned forward.

  I bit my lip as she did what I told her without hesitation. She still had on her tank top, but it had ridden up beneath her breasts. I would play with them later. I needed to fuck. It’d be
en too long.

  With my eyes still on her, I pulled open the drawer and removed a foil packet as her hands caught the bottom of her tank, pulling it over her head. Beautiful tits stared back at me, begging to be sucked and caressed.

  “You thought I wasn’t into you anymore?” I shook my head, breaking the wrapper and sliding the latex over myself. “Are you crazy? There wasn’t a day that went by I didn’t think about fucking you.”

  “Then why have you been pushing me away?” Propping up on her elbows, she used her feet to push herself back to the middle of the bed.

  I crawled to her, separating her legs as I did so, and lowered my head between her thighs. As my mouth became flush with her pussy, I let my tongue slide over her in a gentle caress. She relaxed beneath me, and I might have given her the wrong idea. This wasn’t going to be soft and sweet, but I’d forgotten what she tasted like, and I just had to remember, had to have a taste. I slid my tongue between the lips of her pussy and sucked on her clit.

  Lifting my head, I moved until I was hovering above her on my elbows. My hand circled and squeezed a supple mound before I sucked the taut nipple into my mouth.

  Oh, she asked me a question.

  “I’ll tell you after I fuck you.”

  Grasping my cock, I nudged it against her warmth, my muscles tensing in anticipation because I knew just how fucking fantastic she would feel.

  As the head plunged in, she gasped, and I warned, “This is going to be rough. It’s been too long.”

  Looking at me through lowered lashes, she released the lip she had been biting with a breathy, “I don’t care how you take me, Caleb. Just take.”

  My cock throbbed. She might regret saying that later, but she didn’t have to tell me twice. I pushed deeper and she winced. Images of when I had taken her for the first time came to mind, and fuck, it made me want to possess every inch of her all over again.

  “You okay?” I asked, kissing her chin and then her lips.

  Every fucking part of her was adorable. She nodded, shifting her hips to get me to move. Withdrawing, I thrust, and she drew in a sharp breath.

  I kissed her succulent lips and rocked into her again. “Tell me how it feels.”