by Anna Samuels
‘I hope so, Mum. And don’t be sad about me being away. Think of it as a time for you to find out what you want from life.’
‘How strange,’ I murmured. ‘That’s exactly what Alex said to me.’
‘Well then, she’s a very astute woman. Listen to her and make changes which suit you. I don’t want to think about you being alone and depressed without us about. You need a life for you now.’
I realised as she was talking that I was becoming almost a burden to her. I didn’t want her first year away at University being overshadowed by worrying about her mother at home. That was completely unfair of me. ‘Oh sweetheart, please don’t worry in the slightest. Every mother is sad when their children move on and move out for the first time. I’ll be absolutely fine, sweetheart. I have lots of plans for all the things I’m going to do now I have my own time to fill.’
‘Oh Mum, you sound so much happier than earlier!’
‘I am, sweetheart. Go and enjoy your new friends and your start of Uni life, Ava. I’ll phone you at the weekend to find out how you’re getting on but please don’t feel the need to check up on me,’ I said, hoping to assuage her concerns. ‘I’ll be fine.’
‘I’m so glad you seem to be having a nice holiday already. I’ll miss you, Mum, but like you say-I want to enjoy being away too. Phone me anytime if you need me but if you’re fine, we can chat and catch up at the weekend.’
‘Absolutely. You have a lovely time, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you at the weekend. Love you, honey.’
‘Love you too, Mum. Speak to you soon.’
‘Bye,’ I said and hung up.
Placing the phone back down in front of me, a wave of guilt rushed over me. My daughter was acting like more of an adult than I was. I needed to sort myself out and start thinking of her rather than myself. She wanted independence and it was my duty to make sure she could do that.
Getting up and wandering around, I felt a little unsettled and it was simply because I had renewed energy in me. I fetched my bag and locked up the cabin door. Walking down the steps, I headed out across the grass and walked in the moonlight down the path. The evening was cool and yet refreshing. I smiled to myself as I walked, enjoying my freedom and feeling renewed somehow. I found myself looking around, with more interest than I would normally have given a holiday park. This had been Alex’s home, I thought to myself. This was where she had grown up. What a fascinating life she must have led, I thought to myself. She would have seen the development of the park from how it had been when she was a child to what it was today.
I wandered past the row of cabins and then down past the shop, reception and entrance to the swimming pool. Everything was well kept and clearly the park was well-tended. I found myself almost looking for Alex around, even though I knew she would have closed up and gone home by this point. I then wondered to myself where she lived; whether it was on site or if she had another home elsewhere. I kept walking, past the children’s park and then past picnic benches which looked picturesque in the sea and countryside setting.
‘Cassie?’
I whirled at the sound of a voice. ‘Alex!’ I exclaimed, surprised.
‘Hey,’ she replied, walking over to me.
She wore a warm, woolly sweater which made her look cosy and warm. I smiled at the sight of her, and I that moment, I knew that I had gone out looking for her.
‘What are you doing out and about this late?’ she questioned.
‘I felt like a walk,’ I told her. ‘I wanted to explore the park and have a look around so here I am.’
‘I see,’ she said happily. ‘You look a bit cheerier than earlier too!’
‘I am,’ I replied. ‘I spoke to my daughter, Ava…’
‘Oh really? What did she have to say? In fact-why don’t you come on up to the house? We can chat over a hot chocolate!’
‘I…aren’t I intruding on your time?’ I asked her.
‘Not at all. I wouldn’t bother inviting you if I didn’t want you to come.’
‘I…okay, yes! That would be lovely,’ I smiled, feeling happier than I could remember feeling in a long time.
‘Come on then. It’s up this way,’ she told me.
‘I was just wondering if you lived on site.’
‘Yes. The family home is up on the hill. We’ve lived there since the beginning of this park’s existence. Now it’s just me up there, but at one time it was a busy, bustling family household.’
‘Are you lonely there on your own?’ I asked, curiously.
‘I have little time to be lonely,’ she replied, glancing down at me as we walked side by side. ‘This place takes up most of my time and I’m on call 24/7. I wouldn’t have time for anything else.’
‘Is that why you don’t have a husband?’ I asked her.
She laughed, throwing her head back with pure glee. ‘Not quite,’ she told me, chuckling. ‘I never wanted one!’
I smiled back at her, but wanted to ask more. She seemed to find my words amusing and I wasn’t quite sure what I was missing, but sure that there was something I was.
‘Come on; through this archway. The back is open.’
I followed Alex down a dark passageway to the back of the house.
‘Are you okay with dogs?’ she asked me, looking back over her shoulder.
‘Yes, fine!’ I said. Although I didn’t have pets of my own, I loved animals and the idea of meeting her dogs was exciting.
‘Millie! Maisey!’ Alex called.
Excited dog noises came in response and as she opened the back patio doors, two gorgeous border collies came bounding to her and nuzzled against her happily in response to her homecoming. They then came to me, sniffing me and waiting to be stroked.
‘Ah they’re gorgeous!’ I told her.
‘They’re family,’ she grinned. ‘I love them to bits.’
‘I can see why. I’ve always thought that border collies are such intelligent dogs.’
‘They are. Very easy to train and you’re right. They’re intelligent.’
‘So you do have some company up here then,’ I commented.
‘I do, yes,’ she smiled. ‘Anyway, come on in. It’s cold out tonight.’
‘It really is!’ I said, stepping inside and removing my shoes.’
I followed Alex through the house, marvelling at the space she had in the luxurious surroundings. Compared to my own house at home, it was a mansion. With lots of rooms and very elegantly furnished, it was clearly the house of people with money. People who had done well for themselves.
‘This house is incredible!’ I exclaimed, looking round in wonder.
‘I know. I’ve always loved it. It’s the house of my childhood-so many adventures were had in these rooms. I really don’t want to sell it.’
‘Is there any way to avoid that?’ I questioned, frowning up at her. It would be awful to relinquish this beautiful home, I thought to myself. This was her family’s heritage and the business could grow and grow even more.
‘I don’t know at the moment,’ she sighed. ‘I’m not giving up without a fight though,’ she told me, looking fierce.
‘I imagine you won’t,’ I replied, admiring her quiet strength.
She smiled at me then. ‘Come on…the kitchen is through here…’
Chapter 5
I followed her through to the kitchen. It was the size of the whole of my downstairs back home.
‘Oh my goodness!’
‘What?’ she questioned.
‘This kitchen is the same size of my downstairs at home, Alex! This home is huge!’
‘It is. Too big for me alone, really but…’ she shrugged.
‘What an incredible place to grow up!’ I commented, looking around the kitchen island and imagining how wonderful it would be to cook in this room.
‘It was,’ she smiled. ‘This house was built for us and designed by my dad. He built it as he wanted and that’s why it’s so special to me.’
‘Was the whole park here at the beginning?
’ I asked.
‘No, not at all. It was land we bought initially. We then started with just three cabins. From there it’s expanded to the larger scale park it is today.’
‘How many cabins do you have now?’
‘Thirty-seven,’ she smiled.
‘Wow…that sounds like a lot of work.’
‘It is,’ she replied, ‘but I love it if I’m honest. There’s no other job I’d rather do.’
‘What a lovely thing to say,’ I said, sitting on the kitchen stool as she made hot chocolate. ‘I’ve never been able to say that about my job.’
‘Oh really? So why have you been spending years teaching if it doesn’t make you happy?’ she questioned.
I sighed. ‘It was what I was expected to do,’ I told her, thinking back. ‘My parents encouraged me to go into the profession and I did what I was told. I kept doing it because we needed the money. Once I was divorced, I needed the money even more…’
‘He didn’t help you?’
‘No,’ I said with a grimace, ‘and it’s been very hard and very tight at times. I wouldn’t have managed without my salary and a little help from my parents too.’
‘What a shame. It should be equal support, even if a couple is divorced.’
‘Unfortunately not. Things only changed for me last year…my dad died and I was able to use some of the inheritance to pay off my mortgage and not feel tied to work anymore. It’s freed me up a little.’
‘I’m sorry about your dad. What happened?’
‘He died of cancer,’ I sais with regret. ‘We’re all still recovering from his loss.’
‘How has your Mum coped?’
‘Not well. It’s like someone’s cut off her right arm. She’s not the same since he left us.’
‘I can’t even imagine losing my mum or dad. It must be so hard,’ she said, sympathetically.
‘It is…but, one day at a time.’
‘Yeah,’ she sighed. ‘So, that’s the only reason you could stop teaching? Because now money isn’t an issue?’
‘Money’s not so much of an issue, no. It will be along the road though, and I can’t stop working altogether. It’s just given me a chance for a breather.’
‘Surely you won’t go back into teaching?’
‘I don’t want to…but I may have to at some point,’ I said, as one of the dogs sat down at my feet.
‘Why?’
‘What do you mean why? To make money!’
‘I mean why not do something else,’ she suggested.
‘Like what?’ I questioned.
‘Anything but the thing that makes you miserable, Cassie! You don’t have to teach, you know!’
I stared at her for a long moment. I had always thought that I had to.
‘What makes you think there isn’t another more enjoyable job out there for you somewhere. You don’t have to teach if it’s making you miserable. In fact, I don’t think you should. Surely now would be good to make that change.’
I still didn’t know what to say.
‘What’s stopping you?’ she questioned then.
‘I…I don’t know. Fear, I guess. I don’t know how to do anything else aside from teaching.’
‘I’m sure you could turn your hand to many different jobs. You don’t need qualifications for everything.’
‘I suppose not…’
‘And if you’re not so reliant on your teaching wage now, perhaps you could try something new.’
I nodded slowly, considering her words.
‘Anyway, come and sit down in the lounge. It’s much more comfortable and warm in there.’
I followed Alex into the lounge and sat down on the end of one of the plush sofas. It was soft and luxurious and I couldn’t help sweeping my hand across the plush fabric.
‘Make yourself comfortable,’ Alex smiled, setting my hot chocolate down on the coffee table beside me.
‘Thank you,’ I replied, grateful for her company and the warm drink.
‘Maisey! Down,’ Alex scolded then, as one of the dogs got up beside me and leant comfortably against my leg.
‘It’s fine,’ I told her, smiling, watching as Millie did the same beside Alex. Both dogs clearly wanted a warm human to cuddle up with and it felt wonderful to have that companionship that a canine friend provided. ‘She’s fine,’ I said, stroking the soft fur of Maisey’s head.
‘They’re used to being babied by me, I’m afraid,’ Alex explained. ‘They’re pretty dopey and love to curl up with me in an evening.’
‘I think that’s lovely,’ I commented.
‘It is most of the time. When they’ve got wet or stinky fur, its less welcome,’ she laughed.
‘I can imagine…’
‘So, anyway-going back to our conversation in the kitchen. You seemed troubled by what I said somehow.’
‘I am, actually,’ I replied. ‘When you said I could do something else, I almost froze in fear. I haven’t ever even considered the fact that I might be able to change careers and do something which improved my well-being and health. I don’t know why I haven’t looked into it more previously.’
‘Maybe it’s like you said-fear kept you from doing it.’
‘Yeah,’ I sighed. ‘And having to make sure I put food on the table with certainty.’
‘Risking a wage when there’s only one coming in couldn’t happen, I suppose…’
‘No, it couldn’t. I suppose up until now, my choices have been limited. You were right when you said earlier that now is the time for me to begin to think of myself more. I’m beginning to see the light, I think.’
Alex smiled at me.
I looked away and stroked Maisey’s soft head. She was silky to the touch and she nuzzled against me happily. Glancing up, I found that Alex was watching me with a strange expression on her face. I felt my cheeks heat with colour and looked away again, embarrassed.
‘Don’t forget your hot chocolate,’ Alex said then, clearing her throat.
A change of subject. It was much appreciated. ‘Have you always had dogs?’ I asked.
‘Yeah…we always had collies, even when I was tiny. When we first moved here, we had two boys-Bobby and Billy. It became tradition to always have two of them and now I have these lovely girls who keep me company on lonely nights.’
‘I can see why,’ I smiled, rubbing the dog’s soft fur.
‘Excuse me,’ Alex said as her mobile phone rang. ‘Hello? Hunters Moon Cabins. Alex speaking.’
I watched as Alex listened and then assured whoever she was speaking to that the issue would be resolved as soon as possible. She was very interesting to watch-calm and collected, whilst still using a voice of authority to maintain control.
When she hung up, I looked at her expectantly.
‘I’m really sorry, Cassie…’
‘What’s happened?’ I asked her.
‘I need to go back down to the cabins…someone’s TV isn’t working and I need to go and sort it for her…’
‘Do you do all that? The maintenance and so forth?’ I wondered.
‘At this time of year I turn my hand to absolutely anything. I don’t keep so many staff on in the winter as it’s not worth it. That being said, it does mean I’m on call 24/7 which can sometimes be a little annoying.’
‘It must intrude in your life…your socialising.’
Alex just laughed. ‘I don’t socialise, Cassie. Aside from visitors to the park, I don’t see anyone else.’
‘You sound like me,’ I said, smiling wryly. ‘I was all work and no play for many years.’
‘It’s all-consuming,’ she sympathised. ‘I’m really sorry to have to abandon this…I was looking forward to a hot chocolate and a chat.’
‘Me too,’ I replied. ‘Maybe…’ I trailed off, unsure of whether to finish my sentence.
‘Maybe what?’ she questioned, shifting to a position on the sofa which showed she was about to get up.
‘Well, I was just thinking that maybe I could come with you? Perh
aps I could help?’
‘You don’t want to do that! Do you?’ she questioned.
I smiled at her. ‘It would be interesting for me,’ I told her. ‘I don’t know what’s involved in the running of a park like this.’
‘It’s not all glamour,’ she laughed. ‘I can assure you.’
‘Still, it’s a welcome distraction,’ I told her, smiling.
‘Come on then. I’ll take the buggy. That’s fun, for sure.’
‘What’s the buggy?’ I wondered.
‘It’s like a golf cart,’ she chuckled. ‘And probably the most fun to be had around here in relation to the jobs I find myself doing.’
‘I can imagine it’s fun to drive.’
‘It is a bit,’ she said, standing. ‘Come on then. The sooner we go; the sooner we’ll be back.’
Alex and I left the house the way we came in, and armed with a torch in hand, she led me to the front of the house. There, she lifted the garage door and turned on the light.
‘Oh wow!’ I exclaimed.
‘Cool huh?’ she smiled.
‘I bet that gets you around a little faster than walking!’
‘It does,’ she replied, climbing in. ‘Hop aboard! We’re off!’
I climbed in beside her and she started the cart and turned on the lights. The next thing I knew we were whizzing down the hill with the wind rushing through my hair.
I laughed aloud suddenly, enjoying myself immensely. Looking across at Alex, she smiled at with happiness. In that moment I didn’t feel any of the depression that I had been experiencing lately. I just felt joy coursing through me.
‘It shouldn’t take long,’ Alex told me as we pulled up beside a cabin.
‘Don’t worry, Alex,’ I told her. ‘I’m enjoying myself already.’
‘Whatever floats your boat,’ she grinned.
We headed to the door and Alex knocked briskly. When a woman answered, Alex smiled and introduced herself.
‘Hello, I’m Alex Hunter. You called about the television?’
‘Yes,’ the woman replied, pulling the door wide open. ‘I just can’t seem to get it on at all! My husband has tried too but we’ve had no luck.’