by Shona Husk
‘It feels like it been forever,’ he said between kisses and breaths. ‘I’m so glad you didn’t want to go straight home.’ Then his hands were tugging off her clothes.
‘It’s only been a couple of weeks.’ They’d put the brakes on; now she was desperate to feel him against her, his skin on hers as he pushed into her. She wanted to taste him and enjoy everything while she had the chance. Too soon he’d be out of reach. How would they last months?
‘I know.’ He caught her lips in a kiss that showed exactly how desperate he was. His tongue danced with hers as he unzipped her dress. His hands skimmed over her skin. There was too much clothing between them. They could go slow later.
She opened his pants and slid her hand into his briefs. He was hot and hard in her hand. He pushed her dress over her arms and she shimmied out of it so it pooled on the floor.
‘You’re wearing stockings.’ His hand slid from her lace panties to her bare thighs and to the tops of her stockings. They were just the stay-up ones, no garter belt required, but as he traced the lace tops she knew she’d made the right call—not that she’d been planning on getting some, but it was always best to be prepared. Especially as she couldn’t be trusted to keep her hands off him. Besides, it wasn’t as though she got to wear them very often. It was nice to dress up and have someone appreciate it.
‘Yep, you like?’ But she could tell he did from the way his shaft thickened in her hand. She gave him a couple more strokes, the fluid beading at the tip. She pulled his briefs out of the way and dropped to her knees.
Kurt leaned back against the door as she ran her tongue along his length and then over the head. He swallowed and then his fingers were tunnelling into her hair, for a moment she expected him to grab her head and take control but he didn’t. It was as though he needed to touch her.
She took him in her mouth, taking him a little deeper each time. On her tongue was the hint of musky salt. Her fingers cupped his balls.
He drew in a breath. ‘You’re going to have to stop … as much as I’d like you to continue.’
She gave him a final lick and stood up. Her panties were damp with her own lust and the heavy ache was low in her belly. He immediately claimed her mouth, and turned so her back was against the door. The wood was cold against her skin, but her body was hot. He shrugged the rest of the way out of his shirt, then hooked his fingers into her panties. As he drew them down, he dropped in front of her. With his help she stepped out of her panties.
His hands traced up the back of her legs and his breath was warm on her inner thigh. She tensed as his tongue pushed between her labia and found her clit. He glanced up and her legs nearly melted. There was no hiding the lust in his gaze as looked at her. The whole time kissing and caressing the most intimate part of her. Her fingers splayed over his shoulders, enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath her fingers.
Every touch sent her higher; as his fingers eased into her she came. She closed her eyes as she gave into the sensation. She heard the tearing of the foil packet then he was standing, lifting her. Her legs wrapped around his hips as he thrust in. The door rattled and her eyes snapped open. Kurt froze in place. For a moment they looked at each other.
He moved again more slowly, but the door didn’t cooperate. It shook with each thrust. It would almost have been funny if she didn’t want to feel him driving into her right now—and she didn’t want the whole floor to know. He raised one eyebrow.
‘Bed,’ was all she had to whisper for him to put her down.
‘Leave the stockings on.’
She shook her head as she followed him and watched his butt as he pulled back the sheets. ‘You’re such a guy.’
He turned and caught her before she could lie on the bed, his hands smoothing over her thighs and hips, his lips on her neck. ‘And you’d be disappointed if I wasn’t.’
That was also true. He was sliding into her life so easily. And the more she saw of him the more she wanted. She didn’t want to admit that she was falling for him. It was too soon, too fast and too scary.
His shaft pressed between her legs, teasing without entering. He spun her around so she faced the bed and he was behind her, his hands cupping her hips.
She leaned forward, her hands resting on the bed, and he thrust in, filling her in one smooth movement. His hands didn’t stay on her hip; they kept sliding then down the back of her legs to the tops of the stockings.
One hand eased around to find her clit again. Gently he circled the hypersensitive nub. A groan locked in her throat and she bit her lip to keep from crying out.
His fingers traced the tops of her stockings as he continued to thrust slowly. The tension in her belly began to build again, but she wanted to be able to see him. She pulled away, moving onto the bed.
He groaned, stripped off the rest of his clothes and joined her. As he eased into her, a tremor of pleasure raced through her body. He lifted her legs so her toes pointed to the ceiling, his hands smoothing over the stocking.
‘Would you like to wear them next time?’
He shook his head and laughed. ‘No, they look better on you.’ He kissed her knee, then leaned forward so every thrust was deeper.
She gasped at the sensation as another climax rolled through her.
He gave a soft grunt as he came. For a moment she couldn’t move. And she didn’t want him to move either. He gave a couple of slow rocks and she shuddered as pleasure raced through her body in an aftershock.
She eased her legs down, letting them loop over his. For a few moments they lay there, locked together and content. She wanted to close her eyes and pretend this was her life and it was perfect.
He kissed her one last time and pulled out. By the time he came out of the bathroom, she was lying on the bed naked. He joined her, and pulled her close.
‘Are we going to stay for a bit?’ If he left now, it would be admitting that their date was already over.
‘I guess we either check out really late or really early.’
If he really wanted to go, he’d have dressed and gone. She placed her hand on his chest and leaned in to kiss him. ‘If a few weeks felt like a long time, how are you going to last four months?’
He covered her hand with his. ‘You broke a dry spell of over six months. I can keep my dick in my pants. And you?’
‘Me?’ He thought she’d slip and fall on the nearest erect dick?
‘Well, if we’re having this conversation …’
‘This is a bad time to be deciding if we’re exclusive or not.’ She was leaving; the thought was never far from the front of her mind.
‘I assumed we were from the start.’ He turned onto his side to look at her but didn’t let go of her hand.
‘Yeah. Same.’
‘Then it’s not an issue. I’ll do a test before you get back, and we won’t have to worry about condoms.’ He paused and frowned. ‘Although you are the one going up top. And I know what sailors get up to.’
She tried to tug her hand free.
He laughed. ‘I didn’t mean it.’
‘Do you know from firsthand experience?’ She wasn’t sure she actually wanted to know what he’d gotten up to. Smithy had hinted about some mischief on his first trip.
‘I never fooled around up top.’
She raised one eyebrow not sure she believed him. ‘Not even once? You were single every time.’
Kurt curled his lip. ‘You’ve been there on trips—would you?’
No; when it only cost a few extra dollars for bareback, some of the guys took huge risks. A few had caught something nasty. A few had taken it back to their wives if the rumours were to be believed.
‘I wasn’t fresh out of school when I joined so I was a bit smarter than some. I learned very quickly not to get drunk, but I saw stuff happen. I can’t imagine ever going back there, not even on holiday.’
‘Me either. I’d love to be on the boat that goes for RIMPAC though. Hawaii would be an awesome trip.’
‘That is a very cov
eted trip. I was never lucky enough to be on a boat that was going. I heard Ellis is going next year. That’s a long deployment.’
‘I know, but Hawaii.’ That was the one trip everyone wanted to do. ‘If we were together, would you fly over?’
‘Fuck yeah.’ He kissed her hard. ‘I’ll be jealous of all the fun you’re having sneaking around the ships and not getting caught.’
She laughed as he kissed down her neck. ‘Except all I’ll be doing is keeping the engines going.’
‘War games are fun.’
She smiled. They were. There was a heightened sense of duty on the ship, and the pride that went with a completed mission. ‘You’re going to miss it.’ She touched his cheek.
‘Some parts I will. Most bits I won’t. I’m going to miss you.’
He wasn’t going to change his mind and decide he didn’t like her because she was leaving. He really planned on waiting for her. If anyone was going to screw this relationship up, it would be her.
Had it been her fault last time too?
No. Her ex had blamed her deployments for his cheating. Kurt wasn’t like that. She wanted to give them a chance even though it seemed like the stupid thing to do. Who put their heart on the line with only a week to go? She met his gaze and for a moment she couldn’t look away. The words formed on the tip of her tongue. It would be so easy to move closer and whisper that she loved him. She was sure that was what it was that made her heart bounce at the thought of him and her skin tingle at his touch. She was addicted to his kiss and never wanted to let him go. And yet she’d have to. Life wasn’t fair. If it was, they’d have longer together.
‘Let’s stay the night and set the alarm for obscenely early.’
‘Early so that we have just enough time to scramble and flee, or with a few extra minutes built in?’ his hand trailed up her stomach, hinting as his meaning.
‘Do you really need me to confirm that?’
Chapter 21
With only a week to go until they sailed, everyone was busy. Rainy hoped it would keep everyone from asking what had happened last night, and this morning. Kurt had set the alarm and got up at four, but they hadn’t left until five. He’d dropped her home and she’d had time to get organised and leave again—avoiding Sunny and Lily because of the early time.
Unfortunately not everyone was a busy as they should be. She’d been on the boat for half an hour before she got asked.
‘So, tell us the news.’ Blue leaned against a wall in the narrow corridor. ‘Do I need to be jealous?’ He winked.
Rainy shook her head. ‘We had dinner, that was all. He was a perfect gentleman.’
He raised one eyebrow. ‘Are you sure you’re talking about our Garland?’
Hessey moved closer. ‘What about the boyfriend you had?’
It took a moment for his words to sink in. Ah yes, the boyfriend Tasker had said she had when Hessey was making trouble. Her gaze narrowed. The little weasel was trying to trip her up. ‘We broke up. I’d only seen him a few times and it turns out he wasn’t interested when I told him I was going away. Guess he was only after one thing.’
Which had been true about her and Kurt at the start. Now they were making plans for when she got back. Her chest constricted for a moment and it was hard to breathe. One day at a time. She wouldn’t have time to think about anything but her job for most of this trip. However, there’d be moments before she felt asleep or when she woke up, or even as she rode the bike and tried to stay in shape—which was going to be harder on the boat that it had been on a ship—when she’d think of him and wonder what he was doing.
Throughout the day people asked. They wanted to know if she’d be seeing him again and she told them they planned to keep in contact, which was true. It took until the end of the day, but Emily eventually came up to her.
‘I spoke to Garland after you left on Friday.’
‘Good for you.’ She didn’t have time for Emily’s games and couldn’t be bothered with the gossip. Emily might be Kurt’s friend, but Emily wasn’t hers.
‘I’m trying to say sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion.’
Shit. She hadn’t jumped to the wrong conclusion at all. They had been seeing each other, the only thing Emily had gotten wrong was the reason Kurt was getting out. ‘People have been on at me all day. I’m feeling a little …’ she almost said sensitive but that would imply that she and Kurt were more than friends. ‘Worn.’
Emily smiled. ‘I get that. What he did was pretty impressive. I don’t know many guys who’d risk being shot down in front of everyone.’
Rainy nodded. As embarrassing as it had been for her, she’d recognised what a dramatic action it was for him to take. And she appreciated it, now. She’d have been making a mistake if she’d walked away. Instead she was going to be risking her heart. She hoped it was worth the risk. That it wouldn’t all fall apart the way she expected. She wanted to be wrong.
‘I’m sorry. I was looking out for Garland. I’ve known him for years, and he’s never done anything like that for anyone. So don’t break his heart.’
‘It’s not my intention.’
Emily’s expression changed from friendly to curious, as if she wanted to press for more.
‘Just friends.’ But she was starting to feel the pressure. Kurt was one of theirs and now she was the link to him. They were expecting a happy ending and if they broke up it would be her fault. It was exactly what she didn’t want.
***
‘You seem a little twitchy today.’ Kurt placed a plate of stir-fry in front of her.
It smelled great, ginger and lemongrass—fresh stuff, no packet mixes or ready-made sauces. ‘We could have got take-out.’
‘You never know what’s in there. This only took a few minutes.’ He sat down. They were both still in uniform at his place. It was like they were playing house. Making dinner and pretending nothing was going to change.
She pushed the baby corn around her plate before putting it in her mouth. It tasted better than it smelled. Plus eating gave her time to think. She knew what she wanted to ask but not how to say it. ‘You know I like you, right?’
‘This sounds ominous. I’m not letting you break up with me.’
‘Are we actually dating?’
‘I don’t know, are we? Do we have to call it anything? Can we see what happens?’
Rainy nodded. If it didn’t have a name, maybe that was easier. ‘My lover, not my boyfriend?’ He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was as tense as she felt. ‘It’s getting uncomfortable, isn’t it? The clock is ticking down. My ex and I, we always fought before I sailed. Apparently that’s normal. It’s a way of making it hurt less, according to the psychs.’
‘I’ve heard that. Most people make up by the time they get to the pier.’
She’d seen that too. The teary send-offs. People trying not to cry. Kids sobbing and mothers trying to be strong. Guys keeping their sunglasses on to hide the fact they were barely keeping it together. ‘No one has ever seen me off on the pier.’
She’d shed tears at home and then been okay as she walked up the gangway. It was easier.
‘Me either.’
‘Were you planning on being there?’ This is where the ground beneath her feet started to get shaky. She didn’t know if she wanted him there, but she thought it would be easier for them both if he wasn’t.
He put down his fork, noodles wrapped around the tines ready to be eaten. ‘You don’t want me there.’
‘I don’t want to fall apart in front of everyone.’ She didn’t want everyone to see how much she cared for him. She wasn’t even sure she wanted him to see that.
‘It was my boat. I want to see my friends off. I want to see you off. I want to be there when you come back.’
Rainy closed her eyes as tears started to form. She pressed her lips together to keep them from trembling. Oh my God, if she couldn’t even talk about it, how could she deal with it on the day?
She heard him move, his arms
slid around her and his lips brushed her cheek. ‘It’s no easier for me.’
She nodded but didn’t trust herself to speak past the lump that had formed in her throat.
‘Stay over your last night. We’ll say goodbye here and I’ll just shake your hand on Diamantina.’ His voice was soft in her ear but his arms around her were firm.
She turned into his embrace, wanting to believe that it would be that simple. ‘I don’t want to fight with you before I go. If I stay, we will.’
‘You’re probably right. But I don’t want this to be it.’ He kissed her. Then rested his forehead against her. ‘This is it, isn’t it? You came tonight to say goodbye?’
Rainy drew in a deep breath, her lungs filling with the scent of all the food he’d cooked today, but beneath that was the scent of his skin. His stubble brushed her face as he found her lips.
‘I never liked the smell of diesel until I started dating you. Now I’m growing to like it.’
‘I’ll send you an oily rag.’ It was supposed to be a joke but her words got caught and the tears spilled over. She lifted her hand to brush them away, but Kurt got there first. His thumbs smoothed over her cheek. She tried to laugh. ‘This is ridiculous.’
She shouldn’t be getting this upset. They’d only seen each other a few times and yet it felt like she was carving out her heart. She really liked him, as a friend and lover. ‘I wish you were coming with me.’
He shook his head. ‘That would lead to trouble; we’d end up getting caught.’ He kissed her again, his mouth claiming hers. ‘I’ll be waiting.’
Rainy nodded. ‘I should go.’
‘Stay.’
She shook her head. ‘No arguments.’
‘So I don’t get to see you again.’ He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Pain was etched on his face. He nodded. His eyes still closed. ‘I’ll see you on the pier.’
She placed her lips to his one last time. It would be so easy to fall into his bed tonight. To see him tomorrow and every night until she sailed, but the tension would wind up and she didn’t trust what they had would survive if they fought before she left.