by Shona Husk
He didn’t like feeling this jumpy, waiting for contact. Checking his personal email every other hour, and his phone in case she got in and called.
The weekends were the worst. If he didn’t have duty he’d been driving and spending the time camping. Except now, when the boat should be alongside.
He was behaving like a clingy wife who wanted her husband to get out and never leave her side. Is that what he really wanted?
He didn’t think so. He wanted to hear her voice and know that they were still okay. That they were still together, even though they couldn’t be further apart.
Chapter 25
Rainy reread the familygram. It wasn’t from Sunny and Lily. He’d finished it with all my love, K. All my love was one of the codes. Had he just used a code or did he mean it? Had he used the wrong code?
No, don’t think like that.
A week later when Ellis pulled into Sattahip, Thailand there was mail waiting for them, and she had two parcels. One from Kurt and one from her sister.
Blue joined her as she started opening the one from Sunny. He picked up the other one and looked at the sender’s address. ‘Bastard didn’t send me one.’
She was going to make a smart reply, but he hadn’t received a parcel and had received no word from Kylie about the baby. At first he’d been wound up tight, now he seemed to be sinking into a funk.
He put the parcel down. ‘It’s weird him not being here.’
‘Might be weirder if he was.’ As much as she missed him, at least their relationship wasn’t putting them both at risk. She was really looking forward to getting ashore and calling him.
From Sunny’s parcel she pulled the usual assortment of drawings and a letter from Lily. There was also one from Sunny, but she tucked that aside for later.
Blue reached out his hand for the drawings. ‘Can I?’
He smiled as he looked at the pictures of mermaids and whales. ‘How old is she?’
‘Nine.’ Sunny had also sent her a men’s fitness magazine with one of her favourite actors, looking very buff, on the cover. She tucked that one back in the envelope before Blue could see it. But he was distracted by Lily’s pictures.
Tasker nodded. ‘Guess I’ll have to wait another ten years until I get mail.’
Rainy shook her head. ‘Lily’s been sending me stuff since she could scribble. Two years.’ She smiled and tried to make it a joke.
‘Assuming Kylie can be bothered sending it to me.’ He stood up, his coffee now empty. ‘You have fifteen minutes to open and enjoy the other one then it’s back to work.’
Rainy nodded, she barely heard him over the pounding of her heart as she opened up the envelope from Kurt. It felt like paper, but it was too thick to be a letter. Out slid a comic. Her eyes widened. He obviously knew which ones she didn’t have. Her lips turned up in a grin even as her heart ached to see him again. If he was here, she’d have kissed him. But he wasn’t.
She went to slide the comic back into the envelope, but there was another piece of paper and a thin block of chocolate—both of which she’d save for later when she was off the boat and in a hotel room. A few days alongside was already feeling like a luxury, even though she had duty in the middle. She was already imagining a very long hot shower. But she had a watch to finish first.
***
Somehow she’d ended up sharing a hotel room with Caroline. Probably because she was new and no one else wanted to share with Caroline. Caroline had already had a bath before Rainy got to the room, which meant she was able to hog the shower until her fingers pruned and she was scrubbed clean and unable to smell diesel on her skin.
Rainy lay on the bed like a starfish, wrapped in the bathrobe, a whole double bed all to herself. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the TV and beyond that, traffic. All normal sounds she hadn’t heard for weeks.
There was no way she was going out tonight. She didn’t care what the others were doing. Her phone was charging, but there was enough there that she could send a message through and let Kurt know she was in and would ring later. At least they were in the same time zone.
Caroline lay on her bed—the one by the window—and flicked through the stations on the TV. ‘Do you ever get sick of the smell of diesel?’
‘I can’t smell it.’ She was clean from head to toe and smelled like hotel body wash and lotion.
Caroline nodded. ‘I can.’
Rainy sighed, was Caroline going to live up to her prickly reputation? ‘It gets ingrained.’ It was probably all through her uniforms and therefore clothing. Maybe it was her no one had wanted to share with because of the smell. That was an unsettling thought.
‘Garland sent you mail?’
‘A comic.’ There was no point in denying it.
‘Are you dating?’ Caroline turned her attention from the TV.
Rainy rolled over to look at her. ‘We’d like to.’
‘How’d you do it?’
‘What?’
‘Get him?’
‘I have no idea.’ And she wasn’t going to tell the whole story.
‘So you weren’t even interested before he asked?’
‘Oh I’d noticed, but I wasn’t going to go there.’ And her nose was going to grow an inch every time she told that lie.
‘I suppose you know about me and Chief Oliver.’
Rainy nodded her head slowly not sure she wanted to go there.
‘My boyfriend found out somehow, so instead of asking me to marry him he dumped me.’
‘Yeah, I’ve been there.’
Caroline’s eyes narrowed. ‘You’ve cheated?’
‘No, my ex back in Sydney moved his bit in while I was at sea. I think he did it every time I was away. The only reason I caught him that time was the ship got in early and I wanted to surprise him. The surprise was on me.’
‘It wasn’t like that with Oliver, we were both drunk. It was a genuine accident. I regretted it straight away, but by then it was too late and gossip spreads like wildfire because of Watson.’
‘Yeah. I’d noticed that about her. She’s one of …’ she almost called him Kurt. ‘Garland’s friends.’
‘Only because of Giles. If Emily had half a brain, she’d notice Giles wants her.’
‘Really?’
Caroline nodded. ‘Be careful what you say around her, nothing is confidential. I learned the hard way that she is no one’s friend. But she likes the way people come to her for the latest news.’
‘Then why does Giles like her?’
Caroline shrugged. ‘Because he can’t have her, probably. Who knows what men think? I asked Tasker out on one of the many breaks he had with Kylie, but he refused.’
‘You were on the same boat.’ Did Caroline not care about things like that?
‘Not back then, I was on Collins. This was three years ago, I think? I’ve seen how miserable she makes him and yet he’s always done right by her. It’s a damn shame he’s wasted on a girl like her.’
‘You still like him?’
Caroline frowned for a moment, and took the towel off her hair so the long blonde strands fell limply around her face. ‘To look at, yes. But I like my men with more balls.’
‘I’m not going to repeat that or he’d have me cleaning the macerators.’ And fixing the heads was a job no one wanted. She tried not to think about it and hoped they wouldn’t break on her watch.
Caroline laughed. ‘That would be a shitty job.’
Rainy started laughing. Caroline was far more friendly than Emily had led her to believe … in fact, she was beginning to wonder if it had been Emily who’d made sure Caroline got frozen out. The same way Emily had questioned her and made it clear that she was watching what was going on. It was certainly something to keep in mind when they spoke.
‘I’m going to stay in and call … home.’
‘Yeah, yeah. Tell him I said hi and I’m sorry for making a pass.’
‘Really?’
Caroline shook her head and laughed again.
‘No. If he’d said yes I’d have happily jumped him every night before we sailed. One thing has become clear to me over the last few months and that is I can’t sit around and wait for some guy to decide I’m worth marrying. I have to go out and get it myself and if that means playing like the boys, so be it. I’m not waiting to be asked out, or waiting for three stupid dates or whatever the rule is. I don’t care about Watson’s gossip anymore. I’m already tarred in her eyes so I no longer give a fuck.’
If Rainy had played by the rules and avoided Kurt, she would’ve lost the chance to get to know a really great guy. ‘Good for you—you aren’t planning on picking up, are you?’
Because that could get all kinds of awkward fast while they were sharing a room.
‘Hell no. But by the time I get home I’m going to be ready to dust off my stilettos and party. I’ve spent too long waiting for other people to make my life perfect.’ Caroline pressed her lips together. ‘I need to work out what it is I want out of life.’
Didn’t everyone?
Caroline took off her bathrobe and started to dress. ‘I’ll be out for about an hour. Did you want me to bring you dinner?’
‘That would be great.’ Rainy glanced away from the naked woman to the TV. She was beginning to think that she’d seriously misjudged Caroline because she’d listened to the gossip.
Caroline left her hair out and slid on a pair of flip-flops. ‘Now I need to avoid Oliver.’
‘He doesn’t hit on you … does he?’
Both of Caroline’s eyebrows lifted. ‘One mistake and he’s always expected to come back for more. And now that I’m single …’
‘But he’s not.’
‘No shit, not that he cares.’
It seemed Oliver was the kind of guy that gave all navy guys a bad reputation. ‘And his wife?’
‘I can’t decide if she knows and plays dumb or if she has truly no idea. In which case colour me shocked. Because with Emily on the boat, gossip travels faster than the speed of light.’ Caroline shook her head. ‘I hate having to see her, knowing I was part of her husband’s fooling around.’ She picked up a room key. ‘One hour, then you’d better be decent.’
‘What do you think I’m going to do?’ It was a phone call, nothing more, but her heart rate was already increasing.
Caroline smiled and picked up the room key and shoved it into her shorts pocket. ‘Have fun.’ She paused by the door. ‘Anything you don’t eat?’
‘No, I’m easy.’
‘Careful saying that, or they’ll think you’re like me.’ She opened the door and left.
Rainy was really glad that she wasn’t sharing room with Emily. At least Caroline understood boundaries and didn’t want to know the details.
***
Kurt wasn’t watching his phone, exactly, but it was next to him as he pretended to watch TV. Every so often he’d give the screen a tap to make sure. Rainy was probably sleeping, or out, depending on which watch she was working and how messed up her sleep cycle was. He knew how it worked. But it didn’t stop him from waiting rather more anxiously than he wanted to admit.
It was so much harder to be the one at home.
Going away was easy. The work routine consumed the days and there were so many things to think about. And even though he’d never left a girlfriend at home, that hadn’t stopped him from dreaming about being home at some point during the trip, usually just before the halfway mark. Past the midway point it kind of felt like the homeward slide. A stop in Darwin about two weeks before getting home was almost like being home, but then the reality of those last two weeks, so close and yet so far away hit hard. The trip was a few hours by plane, but a lifetime on the boat. He’d heard people complaining about it and knew that some people flew their partners up to Darwin for those few days because they couldn’t wait any longer.
He frowned. Maybe he should go to Darwin. Could he go up and surprise her?
He tapped his phone again. He couldn’t do this waiting around!
Perhaps he should go for a run and kill some more time. As he was considering getting up and doing something, anything, his phone rang.
A sigh of relief escaped his lips and the tension unravelled. Yet he knew already it would build up every time until she called. He was rapidly developing a new respect for the wives that stuck it out for the long haul instead of reaching for the divorce papers.
‘Hi,’ he said as he answered.
‘Hi. I wasn’t sure if you’d be busy or not.’
‘I got your message and I’ve been waiting at home.’ He got up and went to his room and closed the door, not wanting his roommate to overhear. ‘I didn’t want to miss your call.’ He hoped that didn’t sound too desperate, even though that was exactly how he was feeling. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and the best he had was cradling the phone by his ear.
‘I’m on duty tomorrow, so I wasn’t going to forget.’
‘Who you sharing with?’
‘Carob, she’s nice when you get to know her.’
‘It’s always better when you share with someone you get on with.’ He’d usually shared with the other cook and it had never really been a drama. Most people tried to get a room buddy. The married and faithful stuck together, as if by banding together they could keep each other honest. Or at least that was what he’d used to think; now he was wondering if they simply had more in common. They loved their wives and kids and to them family was more important than drinking and finding the bar with the best-looking whores.
‘How’s being shore-based going?’
‘Boring. I’ve started playing soccer to keep me busy.’
‘Yeah?’ he could hear the smile on her lips. ‘Is that fun?’
‘Nope, I hate it. Stupid game with a stupid round ball. But the guys are good. A few are ex-navy and I needed to get out of the house a few nights a week.’ He was already looking for another sport to play when soccer season ended, but he didn’t want to commit to anything when he didn’t know what his work situation would be like.
‘I’ll come and watch a game when I get back.’
‘Soccer season will be over by then.’ He was really glad that it would run for most of Ellis’s deployment. He might hate it, but he could run and kick a ball and he enjoyed the social aspect. It was what he needed. He needed to build up a life that wasn’t dependent on the navy for friends and work, and well, everything, including his girlfriend.
‘Oh. I got your parcel. I’m trying to ration the chocolate.’
‘There might be more coming.’ He’d already sent more chocolate and a letter.
‘You didn’t buy another comic, did you?’
Kurt was silent for a moment, was he doing too much? He had bought another one but he hadn’t posted it yet. ‘I’ve been looking online for the ones you don’t have.’
‘You didn’t have to.’
‘I wanted to.’ Looking for them gave him something to do, plus it was something that she’d like. In those moments he felt closer to her.
‘Thank you.’ She paused. ‘I’ve missed you.’
Missed him not being on the boat or missed not being able to see him. The answer for him was both, even though the two were, or should be, mutually exclusive. If he was on the boat he’d have been forced to stop seeing Rainy. ‘I’ve missed you too.’
He’d missed her so much that the sound of her voice was making him hard. He’d gone longer without sex, and it wasn’t the sex that he wanted so much. He wanted her and this was as close as he was going to get for months. They weren’t even halfway there yet.
‘What have you been up to? I’ve showered and Caroline is bringing dinner back in an hour.’
All he heard was shower, which meant his mind filled with images of her in the shower. ‘You’re naked?’
There was the rustling of clothing or something. ‘I am now.’
And now he was totally hard. Uncomfortably so in his jeans.
‘You?’
He undid his jeans and shoved them off.
‘Yeah.’ Not totally but it didn’t matter. He grabbed a T-shirt off the floor and lay on the bed, hoping he was right about where this call was going.
‘Really?’
‘Not totally, but that’s never stopped us before.’ He’d looked at his kitchen counter quite fondly on a few occasions because the memory of that time was sharp in his mind. It had been pure lust and he’d never experienced anything quite like it.
She laughed. He wished he was there. Perhaps that was exactly what he needed to say. ‘If I was there now, I’d be pulling you close.’
‘Is that all?’ Her voice was a little breathy.
He closed his eyes for a moment. Was he actually going to do this? He wrapped his hand around his dick and he gave himself a couple of strokes. Lust built quickly as he thought about all things he’d do if she was actually here. Phone sex. Why the fuck not, it sure beat jerking off in the shower, and at least Rainy was involved.
‘No, I’d be kissing you and working my way down to between your legs. I bet you’re nice and wet.’
‘Mmm. I am.’
His dick twitched, he kept stroking. She was touching herself—or at least in his mind she was.
‘Imagine your fingers are my tongue.’
There was a slight hesitation. ‘I don’t know if I can do this on the phone.’
He closed his eyes. Perhaps he’d rushed the phone foreplay. ‘Put it on speaker phone on the pillow.’
‘You already are. I just … I haven’t done this before.’
‘Neither have I. It could be fun. Keep playing with yourself. I am.’
He heard her intake of breath. ‘If you were here, I’d be jumping your bones.’
‘You can’t. I’m still going down on you.’
Her breathing deepened. The head of his dick became slippery. This time he kept his eyes closed as he pictured her lying naked on the bed, her fingers sliding into her pussy. Her nipples would be hard and her eyes would be drifting closed as she concentrated on coming. He knew that expression.