Diving Into Trouble

by Shona Husk

  ‘Are you going to come?’ she whispered.

  He would be soon. ‘Not yet. Tell me how wet you are.’

  ‘Very, I want to feel you thrusting in.’

  ‘I want to hear you come.’

  ‘I need to stop talking then.’

  ‘Okay.’ He could still hear her breathing. And knowing she was there at the other end of the signal was nice, that she was naked was better. What he wouldn’t give to be able to right there now. ‘I can still talk, right?’ His voice was rough.

  ‘Uh-huh.’

  ‘Good, ’cause you can imagine that it’s my fingers sliding into you.’ His fisted his shaft a little more tightly, his hand moving faster as he talked. ‘After you come, I want to thrust into you so hard.’

  She moaned. Ah fuck. He gave in and came, catching most of it on the T-shirt. He wiped his hand. He wasn’t sure she was done. Where had he been … ‘Then I’m going to keep going until we both come hard. And can’t move.’

  There was only the sound of her breathing for a few more heartbeats. Then he heard the catch and groan. Sounds he was familiar with and that made his heart ache.

  This sucked.

  They were silent for a few moments. He wasn’t sure what to say now. He hadn’t expected their first call to go that way.

  ‘I think I miss you more now.’ Her voice was really soft.

  ‘Yeah.’

  There some more silence, as if neither of them were ready to hang up. He wasn’t. He wanted to spend the full hour talking to her, but wasn’t sure he could fill an hour with the boring stuff that was going on. He was sure she didn’t want to listen to how many meals he cooked or how his résumé writing was going. Next week he was doing an interviewing skills course. All so that when he got out he’d be ready.

  ‘How’s your comp log?’

  ‘Good.’ She rustled around. ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’

  ‘Neither was I. It was kind of unplanned. But hearing your voice …’

  ‘I love you.’

  He paused, sure he’d misheard. But he hadn’t. She loved him. Because she was away or because she really did? What did it matter? She’d said it and he was stalling. ‘I love you too.’

  Which meant he had to suck it up and deal with the fact she was going to be away half the time while posted to an active boat. He could do that. He had to do that if he wanted her.

  And right now she was the only thing he wanted.

  Chapter 26

  Back at sea it was easy to forget she had a life at home. Things broke on the boat and extra shifts were worked. She got tasks signed off in her comp log and had to force herself to use the exercise bike or the rowing machine. It would be very easy to not do anything except sleep, eat and work.

  At each port she called Kurt. The sound of his voice made her smile and want to cry at the same time. She was sure she’d never missed anyone quite so badly. The mail kept arriving. So far he hadn’t forgotten about her. But that didn’t stop her from wondering what was really going on at home. The seeds of doubt had been sown by her ex and no matter how hard she told herself that Kurt wasn’t him it didn’t matter.

  She heard what some of the guys got up to, and the going rate for a good time. While it had never bothered her before, now she hated it. She didn’t want to hear about it.

  The worst bit was everyone knew she was getting mail from Kurt and assumed they were together. They expected her to relay news. It added to the pressure and fear that they wouldn’t make it. Not that she could say that on the phone to him. Not when she saw the messages waiting on her phone when got into port.

  Around the halfway mark she’d been very tempted to tell him to stop sending her stuff, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t that strong; she lived for his parcels more than the ones her sister and niece sent. But they’d been apart for longer than they’d been together. What kind of relationship was that?

  A part-time partner.

  While that was the best she could expect, Kurt had never wanted that. It was why he’d never left a girlfriend at home. He’d told her that. Made it clear and yet he was waiting for her. Why?

  What kind of person decided to fall in love with someone who was going to be away half the time? It didn’t make sense.

  When she’d tried before it had failed. They’d fail too; it was a question of when. She wasn’t what Kurt really wanted. Perhaps she should’ve broken up with him before leaving to make it easy, instead of hoping she’d get lucky and that he’d stick around. But she kept all her doubts locked away.

  If her previous trips had taught her anything, it was never tackle important relationship issues when you were miles from home and unable to communicate clearly. That’s how people found themselves suddenly single.

  ‘Got a message from your boyfriend, Tasker.’ One of the comms operators handed Tasker a familygram, then handed one to Rainy.

  She smiled but she was watching Blue. It was the first familygram he’d received all trip. It had to be about his kid. If she was excited to know what it said, he must be bursting.

  Whatever he felt, it didn’t show on his face as he read it.

  The paper fluttered in his hand, the slight tremor betraying the emotion he was trying to keep hidden. ‘Well, fuck me, I have a daughter.’

  ‘Congratulations.’ She hugged him, her own message getting crumpled.

  He patted her on the back, far more restrained than she was. ‘Can you believe it?’

  She drew back. ‘What else?’ She tried to peer at the paper but he turned it away from her.

  ‘Her name’s Cadence.’ He pulled a face as though not sure about the name. Rainy was willing to bet it had never been discussed, or if it had been that was not what he wanted his daughter to be called. ‘Is two point six kilos a good weight?’

  Rainy shrugged; she had no idea how big a baby should be.

  ‘And she has red hair.’ He nodded as if happy about that … had he been really concerned that the baby wasn’t his? How much did he keep on the inside hidden behind the swearing and attitude? She was beginning to see a slightly different side of him.

  ‘Well that’s a shock.’ Rainy tried to make light of it.

  He glanced at her and smiled. ‘Sam sent the message.’ His smile faltered for a moment before righting itself. ‘She’s Kylie’s younger sister. Not my boyfriend. And has sent pics by email. Damn it, that means I have to wait another week until we’re alongside to see photos of my girl.’

  ‘I’m glad you’re getting some.’ And she meant that. That Kylie hadn’t bothered to send anything was beyond cruel. She didn’t know how he was keeping it together as well as he was, especially given Kylie’s predilection for illicit substances. ‘Is Sam helping Kylie?’

  She wanted to say watching, but there were people around and Blue had somehow managed to keep most of his relationship—or lack of—private. That was a phenomenal achievement.

  ‘Yeah. Sam said she would send me some pics and updates no matter what Kylie said.’ He tapped his pocket where the cigarette lived. ‘Next time we’re snorting I might go and celebrate.’

  Rainy shook her head. There were several smokers waiting for the boat to run its engines to charge up the battery. It was only while the boat was snorting they could smoke. Surely it would’ve been easier to quit, but apparently not. They were lucky they were on a boat that allowed smoking, not all captains did.

  The cook made a cake with pink icing for Blue to celebrate and Captain Fisher produced a cigar when the engines were running so Blue’s lone cigarette was safe. It was a small celebration but it brought home how much closer the people on the boat were than a ship’s crew. Everyone knew his relationship was rocky, and although they didn’t know the extent, everyone was congratulating him. They’d all known the baby was due while they were away.

  When they were able to access email, the comms operator printed out the pictures of baby Cadence for Blue so he could stick them up by his rack. She was a red-faced wrinkly baby with a shock of ginger
hair, but Blue couldn’t have been happier, on the surface. But she saw the tension and knew he was counting down the days until they reached Darwin so he could fly home. He was worried about Kylie’s mothering skills, but he only said it once when they were fixing the trim pump. In that moment she’d seen through his bluster and confidence to the hurt beneath. He’d never met his baby yet already he was worried about her.

  She hoped that when he went home everything got sorted out.

  The closer they got to Darwin and then home to Stirling, the more she worried about what it would be like to see Kurt again. Most of the relationship had happened with her out of the country. What if things had changed? Or she didn’t know what to say to him face to face? Her body, on the other hand, longed for his touch. Hope that they would make it had started to grow and almost overrode the doubts, even though she tried to shut it down. She didn’t want to hope too much.

  It was a crazy place inside her mind and she still had to sit her final board to qualify. That would happen before they reached Darwin. This close to finishing, she wasn’t going to fall apart. She had to focus on her job.

  But she couldn’t push Kurt out of her mind no matter how hard she tried and the anxiety didn’t leave. Once they reached Darwin, she’d have two weeks to pull herself together.

  Chapter 27

  Kurt was very glad to be wearing civvies. The cams didn’t breathe well and standing on the baking concrete of Stokes Hill Wharf in flip-flops was far better than wearing boots. It also meant no one looked at him strangely. He stood in the meagre shade and watched as Ellis was tied up and preparations were made for the crew to leave. He’d never realised it took so long for the sub to be brought alongside.

  There was no way he was going to miss being here.

  He watched as the sun literally made the last lot of rain steam off the pavement. This morning’s rain hadn’t helped cool things down at all. A trickle of sweat ran down his back. He remembered why he didn’t like Darwin. It was and hot and dry or hot and humid. November was the worst.

  He gave his new beard a scratch. It was coming off before summer really got going. Would Rainy like it? What had possessed him to grow it while she was away? And then not tell her? It was supposed to be a surprise. She was going to hate it. He forced out a breath. It was too late now.

  And if she hated that he’d turned up in Darwin to surprise her?

  He shifted uncomfortably and moved his toes out of the creeping sun that was eating up his shade and adjusted his cap. Maybe waiting in the aircon of the hire car would’ve been better, but he’d wanted to see the boat come in and had been unable to sit and wait. He’d been waiting months for this moment as it was.

  The crew started disembarking, bags slung over their shoulders, and moved toward the waiting bus that would take them to the hotel. He kept his gaze down, cap pulled down so they hopefully wouldn’t recognise him—not that anyone would be looking for him. They all thought he was back at Stirling. Even Rainy.

  As his friends wandered past he was tempted to call out and wave, but he wasn’t here for a drinking session with them. That would no doubt come later, after the formal dinner.

  The rest of today was for him and Rainy. He’d missed her so badly. Every day. And hearing her voice while she was in port filled him with joy and heartbreak. The idea of seeing her again tied him in knots. It was ridiculous. But the doubt that she wouldn’t want to see him now he was here didn’t fade. Maybe he should’ve told her he was coming.

  He shuffled back as the sun pushed his shade to a sliver against the building. Heat soaked into his back and he was sure the rubber of his shoes was going to melt to the concrete. What was taking so long? MTs were always first on and last off, but that knowledge didn’t settle his nerves.

  Eventually some of the stokers started to leave. His breath caught. The moist heat suffocated him. Then he saw her climbing out of the hatch. He couldn’t move. Tension locked his muscles and his heart beat double time.

  The nerves reminded him of what it had been like the first time he’d seen her in Fremantle. When he’d debated going up and speaking to her or not. That seemed like another lifetime ago.

  Rainy walked down the gangway.

  He moved out of the useless piece of shade toward her. Her head turned as she noticed the movement, then her face split into a smile. She dropped her kitbag. He took longer steps as she almost ran over. She threw her arms around his neck as he held her close. She smelled like the boat, like diesel. He didn’t care.

  ‘I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to see you,’ he murmured in her ear. It was so good to be holding her again, he didn’t want to let her go. His body responded to her, lust flooding his veins. He didn’t try to stop it. Didn’t want to. He wanted to get back to the hotel so they could be alone.

  Someone started clapping and whistling. Behind her back he flipped them the bird. He had no doubt he’d cop flak for it later, but he didn’t care what they said.

  ‘You should have told me you were coming.’

  ‘I wanted to surprise you.’ Did she not like him being here?

  ‘You succeeded.’ She drew back and kissed her him. Her eyes were glassy, as though tears were close to falling. ‘You’ve grown a beard.’ Her fingers traced his jaw.

  ‘Yeah, I got sick of shaving. I’m starting to regret that now.’ The beard challenge had given him something to do in August, and after passing the two-week inspection he’d decided to keep it. It wasn’t like it was a full-on bikers beard, he kept it trimmed. It was probably more hassle than shaving.

  ‘I like it.’ She kissed him again, more slowly this time.

  Maybe he would keep it for a little longer.

  ***

  As Kurt drove to the hotel, the same one where everyone was staying, she managed to get over the shock of seeing him, but not the anxiety about what that meant.

  He’d come to see her, not everyone else. Her heart wouldn’t settle and her stomach was knotted, but her body was getting aroused by sitting near him. She wasn’t ready for the tumble of emotions.

  ‘What are you thinking?’

  What could she say that made sense? ‘That I haven’t done my legs.’ Or my bikini line. They were things she usually did alongside when there was enough water to have a decent shower and get everything done.

  He glanced at her, taking his eyes off the road for a second. ‘You do realise that after over three months I don’t care?’

  But she did. When she didn’t reply, he placed his hand on her leg. ‘Did you want a few minutes in the shower alone?’

  She closed her eyes. Her legs were an excuse. Part of her wanted to climb over the seat and sit on his lap—but that would’ve made driving hard—and the idea of getting naked with him twisted her up again. She turned in the seat and looked at him. ‘I have to ask …’ but the words dried up on her tongue.

  ‘I’ve waited. There’s been no one else. I swear.’

  She nodded. She’d known that. ‘I needed to hear it.’ She’d never asked before. She’d trusted her ex. She was aware that her relationship with Kurt was still so new, even though it had survived her first deployment.

  ‘One relationship is hard enough; I have no idea why people would want to juggle two.’ He pulled into the car park. ‘I missed you like crazy, but I never thought seeing you again would be anything but exciting.’

  Rainy let out a sigh. ‘So I’m not the only one feeling anxious?’

  He shook his head. ‘But I believe it’s like riding a bicycle, you never forget. We can go slow.’ He leaned across and kissed her. ‘Then of course there’s the get it done fast approach.’

  There was nothing romantic about that idea. ‘Who have you been talking to?’

  ‘Just people. Apparently it’s normal for everything to feel weird when you first get back … did it never feel weird before?’ He frowned as if he wasn’t sure.

  It must have, but this felt different. ‘Not like this.’

  ‘Like what?’

&n
bsp; ‘Just …’ She couldn’t describe it. It was like she wanted to tear his clothes off but at the same time was terrified. ‘Let’s go in and see what happens.’

  He looked at her for a moment longer then got out of the car. He carried her bag up to their room. She was sure Caroline would be thrilled to have a room to herself for this stopover. For a moment she stood in the room and looked around.

  It was an average hotel room, except Kurt was here. He dropped her bag near his. His dress uniform was already ironed and hanging up, ready to wear. Hers was in the bag and would need ironing before the dinner.

  ‘Well, fast or slow—I can totally do either?’ He smiled.

  She raised both eyebrows. ‘Really?’

  ‘No, I want you now.’ He took her hands and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her so she couldn’t grab hold of him.

  She pressed against him, his shorts not hiding how he felt about having her in the same room again. She wriggled her hips, enjoying the feel of his hard-on.

  He released her hands and started unbuttoning her shirt.

  ‘I really need a shower.’ She covered his hands with hers. He glanced at her and she could see the hurt in his eyes. He didn’t care that she smelled like diesel. He wanted her. She drew in a breath. Her stomach rising and falling as though it was no longer trapped inside her body. ‘Join me.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  She’d had plenty of showers alone while she was away … this time she wanted company. ‘Yeah.’ She led him into the bathroom.

  He undressed her as she got the water going. In seconds they were both naked. A shiver traced down her spine as she looked at him. His gaze travelled down her body.

  ‘Hey, you said you wouldn’t look at my legs.’

  ‘I wasn’t looking at your legs, but what was between them.’ His hand slid over her hip and belly to her pussy. ‘I like the wild look; you don’t see it very often these days.’

  She would’ve punched him in the arm but his fingers pushed through the dark curls to trace the lips of her sex. Her breath caught as his fingers slid into her core. She was wet and aching. And while it felt odd being back with him, it was something she wanted.