So I Have Thought of You
Page 19
Now you’ll think – what about the most important matter of my 3rd kiddie – thankyou so much for your letter, it was lovely to hear what you were doing, and it was very kind of you to be patient with me when I’m dreading the correcting which starts next Thursday: also I feel that Valpy is so grand now, lecturing only to graduates, that I must seem absurd teaching the VI form – though of course he hasn’t said this or I expect even thought about it! – By the way he thinks his doctorate must be all right because they’ve just sent him some books to review and the letter was addressed to Doctor Fitzgerald!
I do hope it will be all right to see you for a bit on Saturday dearest as there are so many things I’d like to talk about – don’t think I’m going to pieces though! I should be correcting, but am going to take the day off as an undeserved treat.
You don’t mention anything about the Pathology, or how you got on with the Principal.
Don’t think I’ve forgotten your exams, far from it. One must keep one’s head clear and think of one thing at a time. I’m so glad your Italian plans are going on well anyway, there are so many lovely things to see.
much love always Mum. X
Try and send me a p.c. but if we don’t hear we will come along to L.M.H. about 12 or so and hope to find you. X
185 Poynders Gardens
London, sw4
23 June [1973]
Dearest Ria – Just a line as I hate not writing to you, though the exam: correction position is truly frightful, and you must also be feeling the pressure – still the agonising decision whether to go out into the grounds or not.
Yesterday was the Grand Fête at Poynders Gardens but we missed it as we had to go to Brompton Cemetery to look for the grave of Burne-Jones’s aunt (yes!) – it’s so lovely and shady and atmospheric there, like a Turkish graveyard, and then on to Keats House where I’ve rashly agreed to take the girls next Wed: (of course it’s all under scaffolding and of course as it’s a post-exam course half of them won’t come) and then on to see Mary, who is well but terribly fussed about Tina’s cake which I’m sure will be lovely, ordered from a costly Patisserie, but she wants it just right) – Tina is in Bristol so can’t be consulted. I’m putting off thinking about arrangements until I can consult you, and until all these exams: are over.
Lovely sun on the balcony and my clematis and geranium are out giving a lovely range of hideously clashing colours, but Daddy is in his little back room with the light on smoking furiously with all the papers!
What a bad year for hay fever, all are sneezing. I have studied various peoples’ symptoms seriously, and it seems really true that, all remedies and antihistamines apart, the symptoms disappear with eating something substantial and for about 30-60 minutes afterwards – now there must be a good medical reason for this, and I seriously wish you would think about it some day and see if a remedy (not a cure) for allergies couldn’t lie along those lines – asthma is a different matter – but hay fever is bad enough –
much love dear and wishing you all luck for next Friday
X Ma
P.S. I’ve been getting up at a quarter to 5 each morning to do the papers, but am not sure it was a good system.
[postcard of Palermo*]
16 August [1973]
Have lost your schedule temporarily but want to send love to all. Very hot here, but so it was in Clapham, after all – and all the wine tastes of volcano. Have had many bathes, Marks costume standing up to it well and getting larger rather than smaller, but I wish I’d taken out the ‘armature’. The hotel is huge and absurd but food is nice and we are setting out tomorrow to see all but today we only walked to two villages which is mere weakness, can’t afford ‘expeditions’ so shall take buses.
Best wishes for all your expeditions Much love Ma.
185 Poynders Gardens
London, sw4
11 October [1973]
Dearest Ria,
I am sitting here terribly sleepy but determined to write a word to say how much I miss you, and how nice it was to have you here for the vac.
John came in with the carkeys but would not have coffee, tea, or even water. He said you approved of your room, that it was slightly smaller but a very good position, and the green-painted drain pipe was in place. – We went to the 50th anniversary of the Clapham Antiquarian Society and received a glass of sherry each (Daddy said they ought to pour out more, but it was all at poor Mr Smith’s expense) and cut a large cake, bearing the arms of Clapham and the Atkins family in blue and yellow icing, and (as it turned out) heavy as lead. The lady in charge of cutting it was very inefficient, particularly as before starting she felt it necessary to demonstrate how she had made a cake the year before exactly like the Tower of London, with a bridge that went down and up. Then came a lecture on ‘Clapham as I know it’ and we crept quietly away and had dinner and watched the horse show. Very harassed with much work, and can’t get anything duplicated as they’ve pulled everything down around Victoria Street – the work of unscrupulous speculators. Mary’s party seems to be getting completely out of hand and she keeps sending me biographical notes of the various people who are coming so that I can talk to them; I don’t suppose that they will want to talk to me. – I note by the way that you did not take the ivy from the balcony so you must let me know if you want it and we will bring it when we come. – Quite cold now and a clear moon, I shall go to bed with a hot water bottle. – Just a scrawl to send you my affectionate regards –
much love always Ma. X
Daddy refuses to have his attention drawn to the St Bede’s lottery tickets.
Queens Gate, sw7
24 October [1973]
Dearest Ria –
John just dropped in last night to fetch a book and kindly stayed to chat a little though I was distraught having just had heavy day and dreaded dentist (youthful Mr Gregorio – took some x-rays with uncertain hand and will let me know results later, but I WON’T have anything out). He says (after experiences in Wandsworth Comprehensive) that teaching is NOT to be his career! I hope all goes well with doctorate – but he mentions giving up his room at Xmas, where will he go then, I wonder?
We went to Cambridge on Sat: for Valpy’s doctorate – a solid impressive figure in hired crimson-lapel gown – I felt very proud and was allowd to hold baby Greg on my knee, extinguished by a large woollen cap, he looked such a sight, chewing my umbrella handle. The house in Humberstone Rd. is going along very well and the kitchen fitted up beautifully and 2 nice chests of drawers (already stripped!) have arrived, and many things ordered, but V. mysteriously seems to have plenty of money, he was very genial and Mary enjoyed it I think.
Mary madly insists on selling out £1000 of stocks to print 1000 hardback copies of grandpa’s poems, she has told the bank manager that she will do this, so I suppose it’s the best thing – they’re to be done by Holywell Press, but how can they be distributed?
I’m just drinking an unpalatable cup of tea at Q. Gate – I notice that Mr Morris, the weedy new guitar teacher, is ‘ill’ again, he daren’t face the girls, do you remember those awful ‘Guitar Archives’.
The G.L.C. now say that owing to the change in mortgage rate they can only lend £7000 on our present so-called incomes – though this too depends on my continuing working at my present rate – and then we still have the £1000 to deposit – but I begin to despair of finding anything – still less somewhere quiet with a bit of garden which is my dream. Whatever happens I mustn’t land us in real financial straits again.
Daddy still ensconced with his ‘girls’ and the ever-ready coffee-pot – in the evening to the tavern with Peter – don’t know when he’ll go to Paris on this famous inspection trip but I believe I’d be better advised not to go – in a nice way – I can’t be doing with these reps, and couriers and he has to go to 5 hotels – What do you think?
John says you’ve started new crafts at Oxford – don’t forget the all-important business of the Xmas cards! I’d so much like to know how to do lino-
cuts with wax resist to block out certain parts – but I expect it would be messy.
Are you expecting us on the 3 Nov? I’m not quite sure? I don’t seem to have seen you for such a long time –
much love always
Ma. X
185 Poynders Gardens
London, sw4
Sunday [late 1973]
Dearest Ria,
It really cheered me up to see you yesterday as you have the art of putting my worries into proportion! I have a roof over my head after all and a separate loo and bathroom and enough to eat and can (more or less) pay my way, but it’s not in human nature to be satisfied.
I got back in good time (20 minutes early at Oxford station I admit) and Daddy was at the launderette when I got back so I was able to fix his dinner. I also found a letter from Auntie Willie asking me to come to Madeira for Xmas with them all expenses paid! Granny had persuaded them to go there as the winter is too much for her, then at the last moment she said she didn’t want to leave her cosy home – however needless to say I’ve no intention of going.
Today we went down on the foreshore at Battersea (the mud still smells just the same) to see if we could find some large flat pebbles but there seem to be large flat everything else but pebbles. I took a fancy to a very large filthy brick from the old Battersea bricks, Daddy made quite a fuss carrying it back, I can’t think why, nor can I exactly explain what I want it for. It’s most annoying that I can’t find a source of pebbles.
Willie’s letter also mentioned that the ‘livingroom’ (trendy warehouse on the way down to the station) also belongs to Jay, and he also has 2 other trendy furniture businesses in Oxford, he’s living at Wolvercote, just the other side of Port Meadow.
Prompt me not to get further involved with the master tapestry embroiderer as I feel he’s most sinister; I agree the old French designs are lovely, though.
Monday tomorrow, my worst day, really hard.
I enclose Valpy’s telephone number and the test card.
Much love Ma X
I like your new trousers – I truly do
Miss Freeston’s
Thurs evening [1 March 1974]
Dearest Ria
This is my shopping evening and I rather dread going back with my heavy load in the rush-hour. I’ve brought my umbrella, but of course when you have 2 bags you can’t put it up.
Daddy and I went and voted this morning – we discovered we had a Liberal candidate (there’s also a White Residents’ you notice) – but all this will be very out of date by the time you get this. The voting was at the Bonneville – the ladies on duty were all smiling and eager when we went, they’ll be tired out by this evening – to my disgust the Conservative lady outside snatched away my card, saying – I’m only taking ours, dear – I didn’t like to say I was Liberal for fear of hurting her feelings – she had put a nice green hat on and everything – I often see her in church.
We only have a fortnight’s holiday from Miss Freeston – April 4-22 – it’s really not enough, but I can’t argue. We still don’t know what’s happening* – the man from the Ancient Buildings Dept. of the G.L.C. came – I didn’t know there was such a thing. He said the building is a fine example of Victoriana, and the Albert Public House over the way has been saved, so there’s hope yet. It would be lovely if Tina were to come here,** but I really don’t know if the place is good enough, and then one gets used to having all one’s paper, ink &c supplied, nothing like that here. The stapler has gone wrong, such a nuisance. I can’t mend it.
I am sure John’s seminar was excellent. I’ve read through both his papers as I thought it would be good for me, whether I followed them or not.
I’ve been to the National Book Sale – rather disappointing really – but I got a rather nice book on ‘Letter and Image’ which you might like to look at. Mary is giving a tea party for all her cook-book assistants (not me) and it really seems nearly printed.* Such a business as it’s all been, we’ve quite forgotten the original purpose. – Nora** has fallen again – over the dog this time
much love Ma X
185 Poynders Gardens
&c. &c.
[6 March 1974]
Dearest Ria,
How horrible for you to have been having flu – Tina told me, and I felt a beast not having known you were ill. – I would like to send you a bottle of tonic wine – Hall’s Tonic Wine Mike and Willie used to drink – but I don’t know how to send it through the post, so I send you a small contribution, hoping you can get a bottle. You do need something to pick you up or the depression gets unbearable.
I have filled my ‘Pentel’ with brown Rotring ink as I’ve given up trying to make my Rotring work – I find you can refill these pens perfectly well if you get off the top with a spike or something.
I have been taking a day off to sort out my Little Bit of Writing† – the end is in sight you’ll be glad to hear, although I have a lot of indexing to do before I can give everyone back their books! We had a really nice day at Rottingdean and had our lunch on a bench in the sun on the green, just a few pebbles from the beach for my polisher, and a good walk on the downs, you can get so quickly out of sight of houses and the air does me good I think.
It is very good of Tina about the party, you kindly say it is nice to have a 2nd home but I wonder if you feel you have a 1st one! But we love you very much and that must count for something. Will check on car’s M.O.T. but it’s not too bad as we had that new clutch you remember. Have you written to the Middlesex Hospital? It’s a teaching hospital and I thought might be a possibility?
I realise exam: is on 19th – I have to go to Tunbridge Wells on Sat: 17th when Daddy goes to Paris for weekend – when are you due back?
much love X mum
185 Poynders Gardens
London, sw4
Sunday [6 May 1974]
Dearest Ria – Thankyou so much for your nice funny letter. I have told Valpy, several times, exactly what you’re doing.
Unfortunately I have a dreadful cold, or flu or something, anyway a temperature. Yesterday I had to visit a magnificent mouldy Victorian Gothic castle at Stanmore (William Morris Society) but unluckily this meant taking the underground through Wembley Park with the Cup crowds and I got quite a kick on the leg and, when they started fighting in the carriage, really thought my ribs were going to break, which I’ve never thought before. I wouldn’t have gone on, only, having got onto Oxford Circus platform, I couldn’t get off again! It was a very long walk up Stanmore Hill to the mansion, and icy cold in there as it was quite disused, with lovely Morris mosaic floor in ‘Daisy’ pattern, though, luckily, I’d brought my little thermos, as no provisions were made for tea. But I do feel rather poorly today – but I must go in, it is only the 2nd week of the term and it looks as if I’m shirking – I haven’t even seen some of my classes yet.
I can see poor Daddy is appalled at the idea of my giving up work – he says he would have to earn double the salary. But I’m getting so old I feel I must give up Queen’s Gate some time. I have tried dyeing my hair with a tea-bag, but it did not make much difference.
John popped round for the alarm clock. I wonder how many times he’s done that walk along Cavendish Road? It’s very good of him to search for a nice district – Stanmore is not bad by the way, but looks expensive – there are delicatessen.
Rawle doing many articles in the Spectator which is good in a way, but he sounds very depressed and says the hopelessness of it reminded him of being a Prisoner of War.
Money very difficult – the crippled typing agency man will want about £40 and the Post Office people have taken my book again, they say they have to compare my signature – with what? I used to have such trust in the Post Office, but it’s no use since it moved to Glasgow.
It’s raining in Venice ha! ha! so we were lucky to get the sunshine. Must take some more white tablets and try to get my temperature down. Looking forward to seeing you next Saturday. I’ll bring a small picnic and some soup to hot up –
much love dear, Ma X
185 Poynders Gardens
London, sw4
12 May [1974]
Dearest Ria,
Lovely sunny windy day here and I am truly glad you are in the country. I can’t get rid of my queer cold either, so that I should only have been a menace if I had come. I am doing the index for my everlasting book, and we are also doing a bit of spring-cleaning, repainting the filthy drawing-room ceiling and we are going to take the looking-glass in the hall out of the frame and buy a new piece of good glass, as it’s a handy shape but the glass is deteriorating more and more. John also very active – called round for a saw and hammer to fix up his record player.
Conversation between me and the red-haired little boy:
INFANT What are you doing?
ME I’m going to open the door with this key and go into the house.