So I Have Thought of You

by Penelope Fitzgerald

  Perhaps I might see you on the 14th? when the council are parting with a few sandwiches somewhere or other. I’m horrified that you should thank me, as obviously, if there are to be grants, you should have one, – the trouble was to persuade Charles that history and historical biography are literature, and it was Michael Holroyd who did this, before he departed –

  best Xmas wishes to you and Mary – Penelope

  76 Clifton Hill, NW8

  13 March [1985]

  Dear Richard,

  I was so glad to see you again, and want to thank you so much for giving me such a delicious dinner, as well as your advice, which I always need. I felt ashamed that I hadn’t a better grasp on Lord Louis,* but I’ve reached a stage where the train-journeys, the chickens (not laying), the winter broad-beans (laid low by the second great frost), the dear grand-children &c seem to have stupefied me, perhaps my intellectual life is pretty well over, although this of course is my fault and not that of the beans, the grand-children and so on. But I’m truly glad that you’ve brought out Lord Louis so well and it must have been a wonderful day at Broadlands. – (I think that when the Cowper-Temples were there they supported the Temperance movement, but I daresay there have been a lot of changes since then.) As to Leslie Hartley, when I look through my interview books, (and also the list of people who refused to say anything) my heart fails a bit. – I had a letter this morning from someone who said ‘when you look at your PLR, don’t you feel sorry for your biographies?’ and this is absolutely true, it’s the fiction that keeps us all going. – In any case, I shall write to Lord David and (not mentioning any financial considerations) put him off in the politest manner I can manage.

  And now I find that I didn’t ask you for your new address, which was lost with my address-book during my Christmas burglary, so I’ll have to send this to Collins, and it will have to be a test-case, to see how long they take to forward it – but when it arrives, it’s to thank you and send all my best wishes to you and Mary –

  love

  Penelope

  76 Clifton Hill, NW8

  28 March [1985]

  Dear Richard,

  Thankyou so much for writing – I thought afterwards that I could have got the address from Oliver, but no matter, it was nice to hear from you and I still hope that you and Mary may pass by the Theale Post Office one day.

  I was pleased to have the award* and delighted to share it with Edmund Spenser, Poet of Protestantism, it’s all so completely typical, an award that no-one’s ever heard of from a body that no-one’s ever heard of for 2 books which I fear not many people have heard of either, but I didn’t say this to R. Schlesinger or J. Chapman as I thought it was kind of them to write, and didn’t want to seem ungrateful, and in any case it means so much to me to have a record of my poor Charlotte Mew in print.

  Meanwhile the daffodils are all out and I must write to Lord D. – While on this subject, I am glad your beans are showing, but they can’t be winter broad beans – that’s the glorious reckless gamble of it all, to keep them at 6 inches high all through the winter and have them in flower before the black-fly comes, I’m sure you’ll agree – and this is the first winter I’ve failed in our little post-office garden – wh: I’m afraid is symbolic of something –

  love Penelope

  76 Clifton Hill

  London, NW8

  13 January 1986

  Dear Richard,

  Just a note to say that I took the t/s of this (potential) novel* round to Collins, where Angela was sitting with her head in her hands, looking as if she was contemplating suicide or early retirement, and Stuart says he will send you a copy, (I wish he’d made a few more, but mustn’t be ungrateful, and perhaps he’s not supposed to) – he sounded so excited about his New York holiday, like the spirit of youth itself. I hope he won’t get above himself and that all will be well, as he works so very hard. – Also that you had a good Christmas – some of our tiles came off and there was trouble with the drains, but Xmas would be nothing without that to a country-dweller –

  To revert to the T/S, perhaps you’d let me know what you think** –

  love Penelope

  76 Clifton Hill

  London, NW8

  30 May [1986]

  My dear Richard

  Thankyou so much for your letter, it was nice of you to write – you don’t know how often I wish you were there, back in St James’s Place† – for example I’ve just had a letter from R. Schlesinger, saying he’s now a literary agent – perhaps that’s what he was before? – but surely he can’t want to represent the Collins list, and go back to negotiate at dreaded Grafton St, it seems so strange? And I would have liked to ask you what you thought about it. – Meanwhile, in spite of his disappointment over his high-powered girlfriend being too afraid of the Libyans to go to Rome, Stuart has done all he possibly could for Innocence – a title which does fit on to the jacket and I can’t help feeling the pig-tailed man is a great improvement on the defeated-looking Ron and the cover is the nicest-looking I’ve ever had. How Belinda got hold of the picture I don’t know, but then, she’s an amazing girl.

  I haven’t seen Patty or Oliver since they set off to stay at the Plaza NY, for the wedding. I am sure Camila is very nice, and I’m sure she is very rich, I think it’s the relatives you have to look out for with L/American girls. I don’t know how strong-minded Dilly* really is. I wonder now whether he’ll ever be allowed to leave the U.S.

  I would like to write to Simon King,** referred to by Private Eye as ‘the Scottish supremo’s hatchet-man’, but I don’t know what to say to him quite. I have a contract for Innocence to come out in this Flamingo series, but I wonder whether in fact Collins will go on with their Flamingos if they don’t make money. – The truth is I can’t manage the publishing world. Addressing the Virago, Hogarth, Chatto &c sales reps at the Drury Lane Hotel at 8.15 in the morning laid me out completely, and then Carmen goes on all day and takes these dreadful people out to a dinner dance in the evening. How can she?

  I’m so glad Clarendon has gone so well, but the last stages of such a big book must be a terrible undertaking. I wonder if you’ll be sorry to part with it, or glad.

  I hope Mary and the family are well – Valpy came back to Holland for a while and it was lovely on the ice with all the canals frozen – now he’s going back to Nicaragua, one book behind with Macmillan, one with Heinemann and 2 with the C.U.P. but he says it won’t matter – Tina’s baby is my great anxiety but I shall know the best or the worst at the end of July – love Penelope

  76 Clifton Hill

  London, NW8

  10 December 1987

  My dear Richard,

  How I wish you were here to explain Collins: The New Concept, all on such beautiful paper, much better than they ever use for the books, but am glad to see you figure so largely, so too does my cousin once removed Crispin Fisher, while others seem to have sunk rapidly downwards and totally new names (to me) have appeared. But I’m told the Maclehose baby has to be a boy, because the Ms are really a publishing clan, like Collins itself once was – so that may affect the new concept.

  Stuart says he’ll do the photocopying so I’ll take my bits and pieces in – I still want someone to put all the Italian refs. right and it seems a lot to ask anyone, I know Maurice Cranston is retired, but perhaps he didn’t count on spending his retirement in reading other peoples’ m or tss.

  They say the BBC is getting ready for the 1688 celebrations already, I expect with your assistance,

  love to you and Mary

  Penelope

  27a Bishop’s Road

  London, N6

  1 February [1989]

  Dear Richard,

  Just to thank you for giving me good advice during the epic struggle – I hope the Chapmans were able to recover at the Health Farm – and ‘after all’ as Angela put it the other day in reception ‘it was only the board who had to resign’. Stuart had seemed sad about the takeover but now on the contrary appears to
be even more energetic and cheerful than ever, perhaps there’s a moral in this somewhere. I hope he gets his biography series, and then I’m told Collins is going into the movie business, I suppose to make soap operas for the box of tricks Murdoch has invested in.

  All well at Watchet except that Paschal (the second little boy) is very slow at learning to talk and I think has hearing problems so that it’s hard to explain any thing to him, it’s painful to see how puzzled he is. He’s 2 and a half, and the doctors are doing this, that and the other thing and everyone in Watchet has advice to offer. Meanwhile he’s invented a sign language of his own which is quite adequate for day-to-day purposes, and probably wonders what we’re making such a fuss about.

  Best wishes to Mary and the family and whatever you’re writing or whatever is ‘allowing itself to be written by you’ as AEH* put it –

  love, Penelope

  27a Bishop’s Road

  London, N6

  16 February [1989]

  Dear Richard,

  I think perhaps our letters crossed, but whether they did or not I want to thank you for yours, and for sending me the kind remarks of John Verney (surely the Dinner of Herbs man?) and the Lincolnshire Old Churches leaflet which is very elegant and effective as you say (I wonder if they’ve still got the Sanctus bell at Bottesford wh: my grandfather mysteriously recovered from The Society of Antiquaries).

  Meanwhile I gather from a letter from Ian that he knew he’d got no hope of surviving from the start but that he intends to go on publishing (surely not on his own?) – so Private Eye are wrong in saying that ‘Macbeth is accepting his silver watch’, I should have expected him to be sick of the whole business, but I suppose he’s an indestructible Scotsman.

  I don’t know how long it is since I’ve seen Dickie Walker, or even been to Knill, but if there’s ever a chance to see him again, it would be nice. His father was rather strict and didn’t like it when, during a charade, someone came in wearing Wolsey’s underwear (do you remember it?) from which the Walkers earned their £££.

  I hope Stuart is allowed to do his biography series – also that you saw T. Wogan interviewing R. Murdoch on TV. That I did enjoy –

  Love and best wishes to you and Mary –

  Penelope

  Poor S. Rushdie, or rich S. Rushdie, whichever you like, that was a publicity campaign that went dreadfully wrong. I don’t think he ought to go into hiding, though. My local Patel grocery on the corner tells me that it is not a dignified act.

  27a Bishop’s Road

  London, N6

  March [1989]

  Dear Mary and Richard,

  Thankyou so very much for all your kindness and hospitality at the week-end – I knew it was a beautiful part of the coast, but not quite how beautiful, and also, it seems, health-giving, or in any event it has had a wonderful effect on me. And what good luck it was to have the right weather and be able to see the sea like that, in the sun with cloud-shadow later.

  It turned out that Stuart’s extra bag was full of running things, in case it turned out too cold to walk, this made me even more grateful that the weather was so clear. He had to keep awake in the train so that he would sleep well at night, and to be able to psyche himself up for Monday morning at Collins. So we had to talk rather than read and Stuart (who says he’s 28) believes that the world is really going to be clear now of the shadow of war, of world war at any rate. Maria says the same, and I wish I could dare to believe they’re right. – He also spoke enthusiastically about Mary’s cooking and there, certainly, I agree with him.

  Really I was glad to see him so much better than when he arrived, in spite of all the mishaps (which reminded me of the stories which we used to get in the Boys Own Paper where someone always ‘lost the right path’ as darkness fell) – I’m so fond of him and he is a tremendous book editor.

  Very best wishes for the conversion of the barn, and for Fisher and Cunningham (I know this isn’t and couldn’t be the right title, but I very much enjoyed hearing about it) and thankyou once again for asking me to stay

  love

  Penelope

  27a Bishop’s Road

  London, N6

  5 October [1989]

  Dearest Richard,

  Very many congratulations on the arrival of Hermione (who was as tender as infancy and grace, if I remember right). It must have been a terribly anxious time for you and Mary, but now there’s a wonderful new stage of total slavery opening for you and I’m delighted on your account.

  Only your arm, Richard, I’m afraid that must have been a really hard knock – Richard Cohen (how does he know this?) tells me it was a riding accident, which makes it more distinguished, but just as painful.

  I can only hope you’re out of plaster soon, because plaster is tedious beyond words.

  Thankyou for your kind words about the review – I always think I’m going to dash them off in an evening, and they take weeks. (Now they’ve sent me the latest Adrian Mole!) Mary is of course right about the Glynne language, but I weakened because I shd: have had to explain who they were and I couldn’t get it into the sentence, a terrible confession for a reviewer. – You were very kind by the way about John Carswell’s Algernon Sidney, if only you’d come to the party I could have asked you who he was – nobody knew – I don’t think Jock Murray knew, and I thought by the way that he might have given the party at his place, but the Carswells are always v. kind and hospitable.

  Tina and family have moved into a cottage at Milton Abbot – an old cottage, not one of the model Lutyens ones – and Paschal is going to a special school for deaf children in Plymouth – or rather he’s had 2 mornings there and been very happy and now he’s going to be staying for lunch, and see how that works – he’s very well able to make people understand what he doesn’t want, it’s hard to find a school like that now so it makes the move from Watchet (which was sad in itself) worthwhile.

  I would have loved to send you a Burne-Jones, but didn’t think he was the right century for you – I had to fight to get the photograph I wanted on the cover and they have coloured it rather strangely, but it’s a good portrait to my mind because you think ‘What are they saying?’

  Meanwhile I wonder how Xtopher S. Stevenson is getting on, and at least he’s started up, but I don’t know about the Chapmans. How confusing it all is.

  It was very kind of Stuart to take me to The Magic Flute, which I loved, and home in his rarely seen car. I didn’t like to ask him about Suzanne, because I consider myself a granny figure, and Stuart has a granny already, to whom he seems much attached. But I can’t think it would be a good thing for him to go to the U.S. when he has worked so hard and done so well where he is. The great thing now is surely for him to prove that he didn’t pay too much for this Bullock book,* and I’m sure he will, too. I did write to him of course but he replied that it was all his fault. But nothing is ever all anybody’s fault.

  It would be only right for Dilly to go into the DNB, but Olly of course wd: have to write it. – Most of my notes have been sold to Texas Humanities and have disappeared for ever into the air-conditioned interior where daylight never penetrates.

  I’m a (small) part of a series of biographers on Radio 4 wh: is going out in December so I have another chance to say a few words on Charlotte Mew! I sent a copy to Hermione (now Hermione the inferior) as she is doing some collection of women poets, she tells me, and I want CM to be properly represented, she was in the Gay and Lesbian anthology, but I don’t consider that enough.

  love to you and Mary

  Penelope

  27a Bishop’s Road

  London, N6

  23 November [1989]

  Dearest Richard

  I’m sorry to have been so slow in thanking you for reading my untitled, illegible and incomprehensible T/S.* Maria usually gets them moonlighted for me in the Anatomy Dept of University College, but she was away, and I thought it would save trouble to get the processing done elsewhere, but it didn’t.

  I d
id check ‘stow it’ and it is said by Partridge to be cant in the 19th C. and low colloquial in the 20th, though not very low, I should have thought.

  More important, I tried to decide from your writing whether your arm was really quite right yet and decided it wasn’t – I hope I’m wrong.

  Stuart seems to have a large staff now, inc: a boy assistant, who looks about 16, such as Sexton Blake used to have – but I suppose there will be room, for all, in the dreaded Fulham Palace Rd** –

  love to you and Mary

  Penelope

  27a Bishop’s Road

  London, N6

  24 August [1990]

  Dearest Richard,

  Thankyou so much for your kind letter, written I don’t know in the middle of what new and difficult piece of work – but in any case I was very glad to hear of the illustrated edition of your Pepys – not quite so glad to hear about your back – but perhaps that was only a way of describing the heaviness of folios – I hope so.

  I dread the transference of the BL to St Pancras. I met Dilly there the other day, looking just as handsome and spiritual as ever, although he tells me that it’s not rhetoric that he teaches now. I’m sure I’ll never meet him by chance at St Pancras, as I so often do at the BL, simply because the catalogue won’t be circular.

  Stuart kindly took me for my publication day to a restaurant with beautiful macaws and parrots in cages, where he took Suzanne for her birthday, and I know he can’t say more than that. – I know he worked and got the Collins PR department to work, to try and get this last novel off to a good start.

  Meanwhile I’ve been on holiday in Devon, where my little grandson who’s deaf is making what they call significant progress. At least he always says ‘Don’t cry’ when any of them in fact do cry.

  Now for Christopher S-S’s* great launch – I don’t see how a life of Dickens written by someone who has no sense of humour whatever can be a success, but I daresay it will be, and everyone I’m quite sure wishes Xtopher S-S well –