Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  I trailed my finger down her spine and she arched into me. Her breasts were firm and soft as they pressed into my chest, and a low growl caught in my throat like a caged animal. I had about two seconds to put space between us before I really shocked the hell out of her.

  Taking a step back, I pulled in a deep breath of air. Trying to escape her was useless, and my lungs pulled her sweet scent into my system. It didn’t do anything to help contain my arousal at this point.

  “Come on, let’s go.”

  “Where?”

  “On our date.”

  “I meant where on our date?”

  I knelt down to grab her blanket and shoes. Turning toward her, I was eye level with her legs. I followed the lines of fabric and curves until I found her face, and it was twisted with different emotions.

  “Don’t be scared, okay?” I warned her before my hand curved around the soft arch of her calf and the other around her ankle. She made a tiny noise in the back of her throat. “I’m just going to help you put on your shoes. Hold on to me.”

  She placed her hands on my shoulders, and I could feel her warmth through my shirt, burning my skin. Lifting her foot, I slipped on her shoe, but I didn’t move my hand right away. She was just too soft not to explore, and I ran my hand down the rest of her calf.

  When I looked up at her again, her eyes were closed and her fingers dug into my shoulder. Reluctantly, I moved to the other leg, slipping on her shoe quickly and standing up.

  I was torturing us both.

  Taking her fingers in mine, I pulled her along. “Are you hungry?”

  Araya

  Twenty

  “There is actually a nice little deli just down the street. We’ll walk, and you lead the way.”

  I frowned, taken back at his words. “I don’t know how… where to go.”

  “It’s easy. I’ll help you.”

  We stopped and his hand circled my waist, pulling me in front of him. Moving in close behind me, his nose nuzzled my hairline and he sighed against my ear. His warm breath coated my skin and it hummed.

  “You smell like honey and the sweetest kind of sunlight.” His fingers flexed and I swallowed hard.

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s very unique and extremely distracting.” His nose moved farther down my neck and he inhaled again.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I like it.” He growled softly, nuzzling my hair. “Okay,” he said without waiting for a response. Not that I would have had one even if he did. “It’s just basic geography. Do you feel the sun?”

  I bit the inside of my cheek and lifted my face until I felt the warm rays of the sun bathing my skin. “Yes. It’s warm and feels good.”

  He laughed. “Good. That’s east, and that’s where we want to go.”

  I could feel his presence all around me. It was consuming and I breathed him in. His smell was delicious and as equally distracting for me. His hand was gentle but firm on my lower back as we walked through the crowd. I felt confident, like I could walk with my head up, without a care in the world, and I smiled to myself. This is what it felt like to be normal, right?

  “I’ll be kicking myself all day if I don’t ask what caused your smile right now.”

  “I was thinking that this must be what it feels like to be normal.”

  “You want to be normal?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. It might be nice.”

  “No,” he said. “You may live in the dark, Araya, but you shine too bright to be normal. Why try to limit yourself to being just normal. Plenty of people who are normal wish they weren’t”

  I thought about that for a moment. Had I ever been normal? Even before the accident? I’d been dancing since I was old enough to walk. It had been all I ever wanted to do and I’d made it my life because it was never something I was just good at doing. It was something I was born to do. My mom said it was something I had done even while still safely hidden within her body.

  Her soft voice was a bittersweet echo in my head now.

  “You were made to dance, Araya. You used to keep me up all night twirling away in my belly.”

  Her face melted into a goofy smile and she giggled to herself. Her laugh was contagious, and I remember laughing with her and I didn’t even know why we were in a fit of giggles.

  “Why are we laughing?” I asked her.

  “I was just thinking…” Her fingers shifted through my hair, pushing it away from my face. “You were my little baby belly dancer. Get it? Belly dancer?”

  We laughed until our cheeks hurt.

  Later when we finally settled down, we were on our sides facing each other and she played with my hair.

  “Don’t ever settle with limitations, Araya. You’re my daughter and if you wanted to touch light, you’d find a way. Remember you’re as strong as you push yourself to be, so push with all that you are. Show everyone how bright you can shine.”

  “Those secret smiles are driving me crazy, Araya,” Ryland said softly.

  I smiled for him this time. “I’m sorry. I was thinking about my mom.”

  “Were you two close?”

  I nodded. The pain stung my eyes. “She was more than just my mother. She was my other half.”

  “I’m sorry it’s a pain you have to know.”

  “Me too.”

  We lapsed into silence as we walked.

  “Where are we going?” I asked finally.

  I wondered if we were heading in certain direction or just aimlessly walking.

  “I think you’ll know once we get there.”

  I frowned, wondering how I was possibly going to know where we were, when I stopped, breathing in deeply. The rich, savory smell overwhelmed my senses and my mouth watered. It was either swallow or drown in my own saliva, and I didn’t think I could die without getting to taste whatever produced such a divine aroma.

  My stomach growled and I covered it with both hands as if that were going to contain the sound. I was mortified and I didn’t dare look back at Ryland. I may not be able to see, but he could, and I was about a hundred shades of red right now.

  His deep chuckle stirred the back of my hair as he came to stand behind me and his hand wrapped around my elbow, pulling me closer instead of moving me forward.

  “Are we here?” I asked as if I didn’t already know.

  “Your stomach seems to think so. It’s like a hound dog.” He teased, but I was pretty sure I could have died right then and there, no longer caring if I got to taste the food.

  “I skipped breakfast.”

  Something I would never do again.

  He laughed again. “Come on.” He waited for me to take a step before helping me. “They make the best turkey sandwiches here. Do you like turkey?”

  Did I? I couldn’t even remember the last time I had anything that remotely resembled nutrition. I didn’t even remember what turkey tasted like, but I couldn’t wait to find out. How could I not like something that smelled this delicious?

  “I honestly don’t remember, but I can’t wait to find out.”

  Ryland

  Twenty-One

  “You don’t remember? You’re killing me, hummingbird!”

  I grabbed a tray and moved around her, talking quietly into her hair. Truth was, I made any excuse to get close to her. Her sent was intoxicating.

  “About two steps ahead of you is a counter and a tray. Take one and move to your left. We’re in line. We just move with it.”

  Her movements were slow at first, but she fell into step quickly and moved as the line did. I watched her as she listened for the signs that the person in front of her moved and it was her turn to do the same. The sound of dragging feet, the shift in the air, the sound of clothes rustling—all the signs any seeing person would hardly notice—was what she used to guide her.

  She was practically jumping up and down as we moved toward the front so we could order our food. Her excitement was contagious, and for no reason at all, I felt just as excited
. It’s not like I hadn’t eaten here a million times before, but getting to experience a first for Araya gave me a buzz.

  “You’re as excited as a kid in a candy store,” I told her as the line stalled.

  “I’ve never been inside a candy store.”

  I frowned. “I know I’m sounding like a broken record, but how is that possible?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “I’m sure I’m not the only one.”

  “Everyone should get to experience a candy store at least once in their life. I’m taking you,” I said.

  She looked back over her shoulder and a smile tugged at her lips. “Okay.”

  “Hi,” the girl behind the counter said automatically. “What can I get you guys?”

  I ordered my turkey sandwich and started to read off a few of my favorites for Araya to choose from, but she stopped me, ordering the same thing. I paid the girl, and because I wanted to touch her again, I placed my hand on the small of Araya’s her back, moving her to another line. When our order was up, I grabbed the two plastic to-go boxes in one hand.

  “What kind of chips do you like?”

  She frowned. She did that whenever she didn’t know an answer.

  “I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’m kind of the master when it comes to choosing the right kind of chips. Do you trust me?”

  Her smile was sweet, and I wanted nothing more than to lean over and taste it. When she nodded, I grabbed two bags of BBQ chips and bit the corner to free up my hand to grab a bottle from the cooler.

  “Do you care if we eat outside?”

  “No, that sounds nice.”

  “Follow me,” I told her, walking with my back toward the door. “The door is about eight steps straight in front of you.”

  Her steps were swifter. She was more sure of herself as she followed me outside. She found the doorframe easily and moved through it.

  “Take two steps and then feel.”

  Her hands were soft as they touched my chest and I tried to feel guilty at her shocked expression, but I couldn’t.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I—” She stopped and her head tilted slightly. “You did that on purpose.”

  “Is it wrong that I’m not even a little sorry either?” She blushed. “Take my arm.”

  Her tiny fingers curved around the muscle of my bicep and I felt the hint of pressure from her fingers. I realized she was secretly exploring.

  When we got to an empty table, I set everything down and pulled out her chair, helping her into it. I moved her food in front of her. When she pushed back the lid, the heat of the sandwich escaped, and her eyes slid closed and she breathed it in. Picking up the sandwich, I watched her closely. The second her teeth sank into it, a soft sound broke through and she chewed slowly. Never would I see this sandwich the same again. She’d turned it into something incredibly sexy.

  “Is it good?”

  Araya

  Twenty-Two

  I paused for a second, but that was a second too long, and I finished the bite before answering his question.

  “Yes,” I said and it came out in a dreamy sigh.

  “I’m glad.” I listened to the rustle as he opened the bag of chips, pushing them in my direction. “Try one.”

  It took me a second to find the opening. I brought the chip to my mouth and took a bite and the strong flavor quickly attacked my taste buds, coating them in smoky zest.

  “What do you think?”

  “It’s delicious! What is it?”

  “What is it? You’re kidding, right?”

  “No. It doesn’t taste familiar.”

  “They’re BBQ.”

  “I love it!” I popped another chip in my mouth and it dissolved on my tongue.

  He laughed. “Here,” he said, taking my hand and placing something in it.

  Holding it in both of my hands, I explored. When I felt along the long neck and the opening at the top, I realized it was a bottle.

  “What is it?” I brought it to my lips and let the cool liquid slide down.

  “Do you like it?”

  I nodded, sucking down the sweet stuff greedily.

  “Good.” And I could hear the smile in his words. “It’s SoBe. Strawberry something or other. It’s pink, so I grabbed it.”

  “Is pink your favorite color?” I asked when I took a breath.

  He snorted. “No. Pink’s a girl color. I know real men wear pink and all, but it’s not my style.”

  “A girl color?” I laughed. “Isn’t that a little sexist?”

  “Sure, BBQ chips are lost on you, but the definition of sexist you know.”

  “Ha. Ha.” I licked my lips, conquering each crumb of tangy goodness. “I didn’t eat a lot of junk food before my accident, it wasn’t good for my girly figure,” I teased. “And I eat zero now.”

  “No junk food? How do you live?” he mocked.

  I knew he meant it as a joke, but thinking of my mom and being with Ryland today, he made me realize how much I was missing, how much of my life I’d let pass me by in the last four years. How do you live? It was a simple answer—I wasn’t. I was surviving.

  Tolerating my life. And why? Because I didn’t have a choice? Because I’m blind? Because my mom died? I was using all of that as an excuse not to live. I had let Nina and Carl convince me that I could do nothing, be nothing, because I was blind. Ryland was different. He treated me like an equal. He pushed me and I liked it.

  I didn’t know what my face looked like, but something in my expression caused Ryland to curse and turn my chair out toward him. One of his legs slipped between mine and his bare skin felt warm against mine. The contact sent a small shiver up my spine and a tingle through my thighs. His hand curved around the side of my neck and his thumb stroked the sensitive skin there, and my heart stalled.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what it is that makes me say the dumbest things around you.”

  I shook my head, wanting to reassure him. “No, it’s fine. You didn’t say anything to upset me. I was just thinking.”

  “Thinking about what?”

  “Living.” I lifted my head, wishing I could see his face. “Do you live, Ryland?” He cleared his throat and I could feel the tension tightening his body, and I wanted to take back my question. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No,” he said, but his hand dropped away from my face and I had to hold back the urge to stop him. “I’m just embarrassed by my answer. I take so much for granted, including life.”

  “I think we all do. It’s human nature,” I said, touching his leg. “We live to survive and we survive to live, and in between that, we forget the point of it all.”

  “It’s a vicious circle, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  We sat there quietly and I wondered what he was thinking, wishing I hadn’t said anything. Everything was going perfect and I felt like my mood had ruined it.

  “I didn’t mean to spoil—”

  “What are you talking about?” he said, stopping me. “You didn’t spoil anything. I’m still having a good time. Are you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then nothing is spoiled. Are you ready to get out of here?”

  “Are we going back already?” I tried not to sound too disappointed.

  “Nope. I have a surprise for you.”

  I didn’t even know how to respond to that, so I said lamely, “For me?”

  He laughed and took our stuff to the trash before coming back to take my hand and pull me up.

  “We just have to stop by my car first.”

  I tried not to let those words terrify me.

  Ryland

  Twenty-Three

  When we got back to my car, I opened the back door and pulled out a wrapped box. I realized I probably didn’t have to wrap it, but I didn’t feel like Araya should be shorted the little things just because she couldn’t see them.

  She was standing next to the car, looking over my shoulder and anxiously waiting for me to give her what I had. I shut the door and t
urned toward her.

  I handed her the box and she looked at me as her confusion deepened.

  “Open it.”

  I held one of the ends for her as she pulled off the shiny paper. I smiled because I knew she wanted to rip into it as much as she wanted to save the stuff.

  When she finally pulled it all off, I took it from her and she pulled off the lid. Her fingers reached out and she touched the baby-pink satin.

  Her head snapped up and she looked at me with wide green eyes. “You got me ballet shoes?”

  “I figured if you were going to start dancing again, you were going to need them.”

  She pulled the shoes out and I took the box from her so she could examine them.

  “It’s been so long since I’ve held or even worn a pair of dance shoes.”

  “You said it was hard for you to dance without them. I didn’t want you to miss out.”

  “Thank you!”

  “I’m glad you like them.”

  “Are you kidding? I LOVE them!”

  I looked at my watch. “We have ten minutes to get to part two of your surprise, so we better leave now.”

  I put the box in the passenger side of the car, grabbed the sweater from the seat, and locked the doors.

  “Part two?” she asked, confused.

  “Yep. Oh, and Careless said to give this to you.” I handed her the sweater. “She said it would go with whatever you were wearing.”

  “What does it look like?”

  I laughed. “It’s just a short black sweater,” I said as I helped her put it on. “It’s got these strings.” I held them in my hands and pulled on them, pulling her to me. “Careless said to wrap them around you and tie it in the front.” I followed her instructions.

  “It smells like rain,” Araya said and shivered against the cool night.

  “Yeah. Looks like rain clouds moving in. There, perfect.”

  “Thank you.”

  I brushed my lips across hers and she sighed. “You’re welcome. Let’s go.”

  It didn’t quite take us ten minutes to get to the small building two blocks down. It was one of the older office buildings in the city, with bars on the windows and all its original moldings.