Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  When we hear the group of rowdy, drunken partygoers yell, “Dude, get a room,” we break the kiss. Reid stares at me from under his lustfully lowered lids. “Beautiful, Maddy. You are so damn beautiful, and one fucking outrageously good kisser.” He winks and then opens my door for me. I see him try to readjust himself as he walks in front of the car.

  Probably wishes he could take another cold shower right about now.

  When he takes his seat, he reaches across the center console and gearshift to hold my hand. Once our fingers are intertwined, he raises my hand up to his lips and sweetly kisses it.

  “So, Maddy, are you ready for the best date ever?” he asks, smiling a ridiculously goofy grin.

  It’s a grin that I can’t help but send back his way. “Yes, Reid, I’m ready. I’m ready for whatever you’ve got up those sexy sleeves of yours.”

  ***

  “I can’t believe you kicked my ass like that. Seriously, who would have known you were such a gamer. Smoking hot, sweet as fuck and a gamer? I hit the girlfriend lottery with you!”

  I love that he calls me his girlfriend. I mean, I know we said that’s what we are, but it’s still sinking in.

  “Well, now, what fun would it be if I did what you expected?” He laughs as I mirror his words from earlier, and I plant a kiss on his cheek. “So what’s the plan now? Or was me kicking your ass at every video game imaginable your master plan?” I smirk at him, and he rolls his eyes in return.

  “Would you just get in the car already and stop rubbing it in my face?” He quickly swats my ass and he pretends to be wounded, but I know he’s being playful.

  I get in, and he turns the radio on as we start driving toward our next location. The Foo Fighters’ acoustic version of “Everlong” starts up, and I tell him how much I love this song. I turn it up and start singing along loudly — very loudly, and off key, I might add. He just laughs at my antics. When Dave Grohl sings about breathing each other in Reid leans in close and whispers the lyrics into my ear, sending shivers down my spine and heating my blood. I’ve always wanted someone to say things like that to me, to want me beyond reason, to make me feel loved and in one sweet whispered sentence, he has done just that. In that moment, I realize I am falling hard and fast for this gorgeous man beside me.

  We pull up to a large open park area. There are couples walking their dogs and groups of kids playing Frisbee. I have to admit, I’m a bit confused by his plans. Nothing about hanging out at a park screams “date.” Hesitant to rain on his parade, I opt to keep my mouth shut.

  We keep walking, hand in hand, of course, and it’s a comfortable silence. But there’s so much that I want to know about him that I can’t hold back my questions.

  “So tell me about your family. You already know about mine. Not that there’s much to know.”

  His reaction to my seemingly simple question is palpable. He is no longer calm and laid-back. I can feel his palm sweat in mine; his shoulders stiffen and I see him clench his jaw. I immediately regret my question.

  His words are curt and cold. “There’s not much to say. No family to speak of.”

  He’s not going to share; that much is clear. I don’t want to push and ruin our night, so I drop it, but not before saying, “It’s okay, Reid. You don’t have to talk about them. I was just trying to get to know you better, that’s all.” I reach my hand up to cup his cheek and kiss him to reinforce my words. He relaxes instantly and I try for a less sensitive topic.

  “So…” I drag out the word to try and lighten the mood, “are you excited to be graduating this semester? I can’t believe you’ve finished early and you’re starting an internship. That’s so cool, Reid. Tell me about it.”

  He smiles.

  Okay, school is a safe topic. Good to know.

  “I’m really excited about it, and anxious, too. It took me a little while to settle on a major, but once I finished my first counseling class, I knew I’d really found something I loved. Kids don’t always have someone to turn to when they’re dealing with shit — and they’ve got more shit to deal with than people think, so I just always wanted to help. The internship is at a local school working with the psychologists, social workers, and guidance counselors. I’m going to have to go to grad school no matter which career I choose, so it’s a great opportunity to try each of them out and see which I like best.”

  I’m in awe of how enthusiastic he is about helping kids. My first impressions of him were definitely that he couldn’t care less about other people — him being a dick and all — but I obviously judged the book by its cover. Reid is kind and caring, and obviously wants to help out kids who need it. I wonder if there’s some kind of personal motivation for him. But, based on his earlier reaction about his family, I won’t push that right now, either.

  “Reid, that’s amazing. I’m so excited for you. You’re going to be awesome at whatever you choose.”

  He smiles down at me, and I melt. He is gorgeous and sweet. I have definitely caught myself a winner; I have no clue how, but I have.

  “Here we are.” He stops in front of, well, in front of nothing. It’s just an open patch of grass up on a hill. He sees that I’m just not getting it, and he chuckles at me. He tells me to stay where I am and that he’ll be right back. He disappears into some trees that are behind us, and when he comes out, I can’t help the smile that splits my face. He’s got a small cooler, a blanket, and some pillows to sit on.

  “You are so sweet. This is awesome, Reid. Thank you.”

  We hold the blanket out by the corners and set everything up. He opens the cooler and pulls out a few bottles of water, and plates and utensils, but there’s no food.

  I offer a look of sympathy. I don’t want him to be embarrassed that he forgot the main course. It’s the thought that counts, right?

  And just as I am about to tell him as much, he looks beyond me and smiles. He stands up and walks past me without saying a word. I turn to look over my shoulder in time to see him paying the delivery man.

  When he sits back down, he smirks at me and says, “You didn’t think I was going to cook, did you? I’d like to keep you around for a while, and cooking for you would be a surefire way to make you leave.” He starts pulling the containers out of the bag.

  “Did you order Chinese food? Oh, my goodness!! Mel and I have tried every Chinese place in town since we got here, and they all suck. I’ve been dying for some shrimp lo mein. Please tell me there is some in there.” I am astonished by his thoughtfulness.

  “I had to call a place two towns over and pay double for delivery, but seeing you get all excited about it is worth every penny. So you see, me being friends with Mel is worth it, right? I might even have to make a weekly date with her to dish about you.” He passes me my plate.

  “If it means you plan more stuff like tonight, then hell yeah. Go for it!”

  His laughter at my comments does funny things to my insides. I’ve never felt like about anyone. And it’s certain that no one else has ever made me feel like this.

  As we eat our meal, we get lost in conversation. I’m not all too surprised to see that we have very similar tastes in pretty much everything — from books to television to music. It’s so easy and carefree being with him here like this. We laugh and smile nonstop; it’s surprising that we are actually getting any eating done.

  He pulls me in to his side after he’s put his plate down and kisses the top of my head. “I’m having the best time, Maddy. I know that you’ve never done this before, but neither have I, really. I’m really happy to see you happy. I spent too long pissing you off and making you cry.”

  “Stop, that’s all in the past. Besides, I’m having a great time because I’m with you, so all that shit that happened already doesn’t matter anymore. Okay?” I lean into him a little closer and kiss his chest, inhaling as I do; he smells divine.

  “So what’s your favorite movie?” he asks, continuing our conversation from earlier about our favorite things.

  “My al
l-time favorite has to be Pretty in Pink.” The look on his face suggests that he’s never even heard of it, though that’s not too shocking. Reid doesn’t seem like a guy who would watch a movie with the words “pretty” and “pink” in the title.

  “Huh, never heard of it. What’s it about?” At least he’s feigning interest.

  “It’s about this quirky but beyond cool girl, Andie, who really only has one friend. Her mom leaves and her dad has mentally checked out, so she’s essentially on her own.”

  He smiles knowingly at me, instantly recognizing the personal connection I feel to the movie. I smile back but continue,

  “She falls in love with this guy, Blane, and he’s totally gorgeous and rich — pretty much everything she’s not. Anyway, his friends hate her because she’s not part of ‘the cool gang,’ and they essentially talk him out of taking her to prom. So her best friend, Duckie, this guy who is totally and senselessly in love with Andie, comes to the rescue and takes her to prom. When Blane sees her, he realizes he’s made a huge mistake and he apologizes.”

  “So what happens in the end? Does the guy get the girl?” He seems genuinely interested, but I have a feeling he isn’t asking about the movie.

  “Yes. Even with everything that should keep them apart, they end up making it work.” I hope he sees that my answer isn’t about the movie, either.

  We sit for a few more minutes, and as dusk settles in, he suggests that we should leave before it gets too dark. He packs everything up, and we walk through the park. Assuming that we are walking back to the car, I am completely caught off guard when we turn a corner and see that a huge crowd has gathered in the clearing. They’re all settled on pillows and blankets in front of a huge movie screen.

  When I look up at him for some sort of explanation, he says, “Expect the unexpected, babe.” He just laughs and proceeds to spread the blanket back out on the ground. He pats the spot next to him, and I willingly comply.

  When I’m all cozied up next to him, I ask, “So what are they showing tonight? I’ve heard about these movie in the park nights, but I didn’t realize they still did them.”

  “Actually, I think this is the last one for the fall. It’s starting to get a little too cold for them, but it’s a good thing you’ve got me to keep you warm.” He looks at me seductively and chuckles. When he says, “I’m not sure what they’re playing, though. I guess we’ll have to wait and see,” I see the mischievous glint in his eyes. He’s up to something.

  When the movie starts, I immediately recognize it as the one I described earlier — Pretty in Pink — my favorite movie EVER!

  “What the hell? What are the chances? Did you set this up?” I glare at him. “There’s no way that of all the movies in the world, they’d play this one.” My questions are rapid-fire. He just shrugs his shoulders and laughs at me a little.

  It had to have been Mel, that little stinker. I can’t be mad, though. This really is amazing.

  “Well, Mel told me about your favorite movies, and when I found out that this was the last ‘movies in the park’ for the fall, I might have convinced the operator to show this particular film.”

  I’m in complete and utter shock. I wrap my arms tightly around his waist and tell him, “Reid, you have been simply amazing. Thank you so much. Tonight is a night I will never forget.”

  We watch the movie cuddled together on our blanket, and when he drives me home later, he walks me to the door and kisses me goodnight. I physically have to restrain myself from turning into a puddle of mush when he tells me, “Goodnight, Maddy, and sweet dreams. Make sure you dream of me. I know I’ll be dreaming of you.”

  Chapter 10

  Reid

  Maddy’s face hovers over mine seductively. I’m on my back in my bed and she is sprawled, naked and beautiful, on top of me. Her breasts crush into my chest — so soft and supple, I can’t help but sit up with her on my lap and touch her. It’s an instinct — a magnetism like one I’ve never experienced. I reach out and graze my palms over her pebbled nipples. She moans and arches into my hands. Holding their weight in my hands, I brush over her nipples with my thumbs and pull on them slightly. She grinds her pelvis down onto mine. She likes it, so I pull just a little harder, extending her already elongated peaks between my forefinger and thumb.

  Leaning closer to her, I kiss the expanse of creamy porcelain skin between her breasts before pulling her pink nipple in my mouth. She nearly shrieks in response, and when I take it between my teeth and nibble lightly, she all but convulses on top of me. She is grinding into me, and I can tell she’s on fire. I can feel her heat; it’s scorching me. I kiss a path up from her breast to her neck. I kiss and lick every inch that I can reach. She leans her head to the side to give me better access. Burying her face in my neck, I can feel her hot breath at my ear. She’s mumbling incoherently, though occasionally I hear something that slightly resembles my own name.

  She pulls herself back up to a straddling position and rocks back and forth over my arousal. I almost lose it. She’s so fucking sexy and so turned on. She can barely control herself. Placing her hands on my chest, she lightly traces her nails over my pecs and across my nipples. My eyes roll back. She moves her way down my body and grabs my cock, stroking with an intensity that I can’t endure much longer. Lying next to me on her side, my length firmly in her grasp, she whispers in my ear, “I want to do this with my mouth, Reid. I want to lick and taste every inch of you. Will you let me do that?” At that, all thought processes elude me.

  She’s moving down the length of my body now and settling between my legs. I can feel her warm breath on me. I can’t take much more. She pulls me up to her mouth and leans down. Her golden, silky hair creates a veil around us. I reach down to move it out of the way. I want to see her mouth wrap around me, see myself disappear in between those sweet, hot lips.

  When I have her hair pulled back and fisted in my hand, she licks at my tip before taking the first few inches in, and in that instant I know this is what heaven on earth feels like. She’s tentative at first, unsure — so I guide her with my hand, never forcing her to go further than she can. She catches her own rhythm, and I am lost to it. My back arches off the bed, and my head falls back. I try to open my eyes, but I can’t. The pleasure is too intense. My heart swells with joy having Maddy love me like this. It’s a feeling I’ve never known, one that I never want to go away.

  But when Maddy lifts her head, my bliss evaporates instantaneously. Maddy’s face is replaced with one I had hoped never to see again. Her silky yellow locks are replaced with a short, severe black bob. Green depths with shimmering, vibrant flecks vanish, and cold, empty almost black pools of pure evil stare back at me.

  Alex.

  I shoot upright in bed. Oxygen will not enter my lungs. I gasp and nearly scream at the image that ended my nightmare — or was it just the beginning? I am sweat drenched and shaking at the thought of her mouth on me, of her body touching mine. Bile rises in my throat, and I have to sprint to the bathroom before I empty the contents of my stomach onto the carpet. Purged though I may be of this vomit, I will never be clean of her.

  Alex is the last person who ever got close to me, and she’s the reason my family is gone. She’s the reason my world fell to a million pieces at my feet. Five years should be long enough to erase her from my memory, to absolve myself of this overwhelming guilt. Yet occasionally she makes an appearance in my dreams, which promptly turn into nightmares.

  This one is different, though. Images of Maddy morphing into Alex aren’t just haunting; they’re terrifying. On some level, I know this is my brain’s way of telling me I need to share my past with Maddy. In all honesty, it’s killing me to keep it hidden. Part of me wants to tell her, wants to open up to her, wants her to help ease my pain. The other part of me is scared shitless. If Maddy knows the truth, if she learns about Alex and how fucked up I am, she’ll leave me. Of this, I’m certain. No one as sweet, loving, kind, and caring as Madeleine Becker would ever stay with someon
e who killed his own brother, all because of a girl. The world just doesn’t work that way.

  ***

  The night after our first date, Maddy has plans with the girls, so the guys and I order some pizza and grab some beer. It hasn’t been just the guys in a long time. There always seems to be a party going on or a revolving door of girls set up for the weekend. Well, now that I’ve got Maddy, the number of girls strutting through here has diminished considerably.

  Jack tosses me a beer as he sets himself up on the other end of the couch. He props his legs up on the coffee table and takes a bite of his pizza.

  Egging me on, he asks, “So how was your date with Maddy?” His tone mimics that of a middle-school student. Jerk.

  “Tread carefully there, Jack. You don’t want to end up looking like me,” Logan warns Jack as he points to the yellow bruise on his cheek.

  “It was good, great, actually.” I’m not going to lie about my feelings for her. I really, really like her, so fuck whatever anyone else thinks.

  “Seriously? You, Reid Connely, the man who has never spent more than one night with the same girl, not only went on a date, but actually enjoyed it?” Jack is nearly beside himself with shock.

  I’m pretty shocked myself, but it’s the truth. “Yeah, I know. But Maddy’s different. I really like her, and I don’t want to fuck it up.” I look over at Logan on that last part. He knows I mean business, so he just holds his hands up in defense.

  “Hmm. Never would have thought it, but I understand. It’s like that with Cammie.” Jack may be a guy’s guy through and through, but he’s also been with Cammie forever, and he loves her more than life itself.