Silk

by Heidi McLaughlin

  I could feel her heart thumping in her chest. Since it was already beating hard, I wanted to keep it that way. I picked her up in my arms and carried her to our tent. I didn’t even bother to tell the others goodnight. I set her on her feet and unzipped the flap. I pulled it back and pushed her roughly inside.

  She fell back on the blow-up mattress. “Where did this come from?” she giggled.

  “You deserve better than sleeping on the ground,” I said, falling down on top of her. I tugged her tank top up and went to work.

  “Does everyone have one?” she asked.

  Her lack of attention to my efforts was bothersome. I pulled back her bra. “No. Just you, doll.”

  “So you don’t think I’m tough enough to sleep on the ground?”

  I groaned. “Christ, Allie. I just wanted you to be comfortable when I pound your ass into the ground.” I removed my mouth from her skin and waited, wondering if I was going to hear another slap.

  Instead, she laughed. “Well, in that case ....” She flipped around so that she was on top, straddling me. This was even better.

  “Hang on. I brought something,” she said. She leaned across me toward the back corner of the tent where she’d stashed the mystery box. Her movement put her left breast in direct alignment with my mouth. It was an opportunity that I couldn’t let slip by. My tongue flicked her nipple, and her breath hitched in response. I was vaguely aware of the smacking noise that her hand made as it floundered around inside the box.

  Finally, I had her full attention again. At the same time, that her hand snaked down inside the top of my swim trunks, she pressed something cold into my side. It made me jump, and she giggled in response.

  Somewhere in the dark of night, I heard Carly say, “Dammit, Burke. That’s the wrong hole!” Allie laughed, but I shook my head, trying to forget who was outside our tent ... and trying especially hard to forget who was just outside our tent.

  She pulled my shirt off, and I lay back with my head propped in my hands. The moonlight slipping through the skylight of our tent illuminated her face. I liked the mischievous gleam in her eyes. I liked it a lot.

  I heard the whirring sound as she drew a line of whipped cream from the middle of my chest to the top of my shorts. Her tongue followed closely behind. Soon, my trunks were a thing of the past, discarded somewhere near the door of our tent. There was more whirring and more tongue. When she took me in her mouth, the people outside our little tent were the furthest things from my mind.

  I kept telling myself that I should stop her ... that wasn’t how I’d planned for tonight to go. But, as she expertly moved over me, I couldn’t find the words to stop her. I said the alphabet in my head ... forward and then backward. When I couldn’t hold back any longer, I tried to push her away, but she just went deeper. ‘Holy fuck,’ I thought as the alphabet became a jumbled mess in my head.

  “God, Allie,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

  “What?” she said slyly. “I loved that. You know how I feel about dessert.”

  “I’m not sure who just got dessert, but I’m pretty sure it was me.”

  I caught my breath and flipped her back over on her back. I started removing her shorts. I knew there wouldn’t be any panties underneath. There never were, and I couldn’t deny that I really loved that about her.

  “It’s your turn.” I started at her breasts and kissed my way down to where her shorts had been. I didn’t need the can of whipped cream. I’d never tasted anything so sweet.

  When I was sure that Allie didn’t have an ounce of energy left in her, I pulled her shorts up over her hips and fished around the floor for my swim trunks. I pulled her tank top back over her head and bent to slip her flip flops back on her feet.

  “Come on,” I said, pulling her back outside the tent. “Let’s go wash all the sticky off.”

  I held Allie’s hand as we walked toward the lake in silence. For the first time, I noted how small her hand felt inside of mine.

  Just as I was wondering how I’d gotten to this strange place, I thought I heard the chirp of a monkey coming from behind us. Monkeys weren’t indigenous to the Finger Lakes region, but I knew all too well what the source of that sound was. My guess was that Ethan was probably regretting not moving his tent further away from the campsite. Of course, he would’ve had to go all the way to the northern end of the lake to hide a crazy sound like that.

  I felt pretty lucky at the moment. I’d successfully dodged the Jillian bullet. Even though I hadn’t done such a good job with Allie ... and had been hit dead center ... I’d take it. She never ceased to surprise me. After all, I’d never known anybody who brought a can of whipped cream to a campout, but then again ... I’d never had a better night by a campfire.

  On Saturday, we just did the normal camping stuff. We drove over to a site near Taughannock Falls and spent most of Saturday afternoon hiking around the waterfall. The landscape was beautiful up here. The waterfall was more than 200 feet high. Even if Allie had spent her entire childhood camping across East Texas, I knew that she’d never seen anything like this.

  Saturday night was a repeat of the night before. We roasted hot dogs over the campfire and drank a whole lot of beer. As I’d expected, ‘Barney’ and Dirk had convinced a couple of the girls from the neighboring campsite to join us so everyone was successfully paired up at this point.

  After dinner, Allie brought out her mystery box. “I’ve got a surprise for you guys,” she’d said, throwing a wink in my direction.

  All the guys watched in admiration as she pulled out several pies and different types of cookies. She arranged them all on the picnic table and threw a wink my direction. You could take the girl out of the South, but you couldn’t take the South out of the girl. It wasn’t her party, but she was still a hostess.

  I sincerely hoped no one wanted any whipped cream on their pie, because we were all out.

  CHAPTER 21

  Alexis

  When I came to a stoplight, I looked skyward. Dark clouds were rolling across the oppressive grey sky from west to east. Until just a few minutes ago, it had been a beautiful and unusually warm day after a very cold spring, but the weather in northern Texas could be very unpredictable. The rumble of thunder signaled that the storm was closing in. The smart thing to do would be to stop and put the convertible top up on my little car, but I was willing to bet that if I hurried I could beat the rain.

  I leaned forward, gripping the steering wheel with both hands. Though tornadoes weren’t common this far south, they certainly weren’t unheard of, and March was definitely tornado season. As a child, I’d been so terrified of tornadoes that the first sign of a storm would send me running into my parents’ room at all hours of the night.

  The cheer clinic had run late, and I was rushing home to change my clothes. I zipped down Douglas Avenue even though the tollway would have been faster. As much as I wanted to beat the storm, I didn’t like driving on the highway. I’d been born and raised in the big city, but the highway scared the living daylights out of me. Cars zipping in and out, cutting each other off in lanes that were much too narrow .... I avoided it when I could.

  At the jog in the road at McFarlin, I reached over and tuned the XM receiver to the MTV channel, and No Doubt’s ‘Hella Good’ blasted through the speakers. The car had been a gift from my parents on my birthday two summers ago. The shiny red BMW Z3 Roadster was fast and fun. It had been exactly what I’d wanted and expected for my sweet 16th.

  I sang aloud in an effort to drown out the fast approaching storm. The satellite radio was an add-on that I’d insisted on despite my parents’ objections. My dad hadn’t understood why a car that came standard with both a radio and CD player needed an additional hundred stations. But, since practically every one of my equally privileged friends already had XM radio by the time my birthday rolled around, I hadn’t been willing to compromise. When he presented me the key to my new ride, it included every station available under the sun.

  A crack of light
ning shot across the sky, and a single fat raindrop smacked me in the forehead. Annoyed, I wiped it away with the back of my hand, and I wondered if I could get Brittany to come get me. Since she’d already been down on Greenville for several hours, it didn’t seem likely. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she’d been trying out the new fake ID that she was planning on taking to college in the fall. I’d already missed the parade, but the St. Patrick’s Day festivities would go on all day. As soon as I changed my clothes, I had every intention of pretending that I was Irish and not heartbroken.

  Thomas, my boyfriend of three years, had broken up with me just a few weeks before. However, old habits died hard at our school. Even though he’d already been spotted out with one of my ‘friends’ on the squad, Thomas and I had been high school royalty for more than three years. It was practically a given that we would be crowned prom king and queen in three weeks, whether or not we showed up at the dance with each other.

  Today was Brittany’s idea. We were going to find somebody new ... somebody older ... for me to take to prom. And Greenville on St. Patrick’s Day was the perfect place to do it. Even if I had no desire to get Thomas back at this point, I was not opposed to making him jealous. I wouldn’t miss this day even if an F5 tornado blew through.

  I glanced both right and left before rolling through the intersection at Shenandoah. Another clap of thunder was so close that my car seemed to shake. It almost drowned out the chirp of my phone. I knew with certainty that it was Brittany. Even though I’d just talked to her 10 minutes ago and would see her again in less than an hour, I needed to talk to her. I needed a full report on what she was wearing before I could decide whether to wear my new Seven jeans or a short black tank dress that I’d found hidden in the back of my mom’s closet. I also needed to know where to meet her.

  It rang a second time. I glanced over at my bag, which was lying on the passenger side floor. I reached down for it and then looked back at the road in front of me. When I pulled on my purse, it resisted. It was hung up on something underneath the seat.

  As I approached Normandy, I noticed some children playing in a yard two houses down from the corner. Two little boys kicked a soccer ball around while a little girl pushed a miniature baby carriage. Why were they outside? Didn’t they know it was about to pour. The houses on this street were nice, but nothing like the giant houses on my street, which was only another half mile down Douglas. At the stop sign, I barely even touched the brake. I knew I should stop and that I was driving too fast, but there were no cars on the cross street.

  Another half dozen raindrops smattered against my windshield, and my phone rang a third time. If I didn’t answer it quick, it would go to voicemail. I pulled a little harder on my purse. When it didn’t let go, I flicked it toward the floorboard in an attempt to release the strap from whatever had hold of it. I grunted in frustration and dropped the bag on the floor again. I leaned toward the passenger seat and briefly tapped the brake as I passed through the intersection at Shenandoah.

  My hand blindly fished through the bag as it rang a fourth and final time. My fingertips brushed the smooth surface, and I pulled it out just as my foot slipped off the brake and hit the gas pedal. Hard. The engine revved, and the little car lurched forward and jumped the curb.

  Everything was a blur as my car hurtled forward. My last thought before I hit the old oak tree that had stood in that same spot for nearly a century without incident was that I didn’t recognize the number. It wasn’t Brittany on the other end of the line.

  A high-pitched squeal rang out as metal bent to accommodate the tree. Bits of bark and fiberglass exploded around me. It sounded like thunder, but so much louder and scarier. An airbag whooshed out of the steering wheel, but offered no protection. I was a bystander as I watched my body hurtle through the air. I looked so small and inconsequential.

  I hadn’t put on my seat belt because, until this day, I’d been invincible.

  Adam

  I never slept very well on camping trips. I’d watched too many horror movies over the years. Like a guard dog, I slept with one eye open to make sure that Jason didn’t leap out and murder us all at any moment. So I was only partially asleep when Allie started moving around on Sunday morning.

  We’d zipped two sleeping bags together, and I was curled up around her backside. It was her favorite way to sleep. Generally, I think it made her feel safer though evidently it wasn’t enough to keep her demons at bay.

  We’d never really talked about her nightmares even though she had them all the time now. I got the sense that it was something she didn’t want to discuss. Since I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to either, it remained one of the many topics that were off limits for us.

  It was still really early. The sun hadn’t begun to rise over the horizon though the sky was lightening a little. Her forehead wrinkled, and her arms reached out in front of her as if she was searching for something to brace herself against. She lurched forward and said, “Noooo.” It didn’t come out as a scream. It was more like the air being released from a balloon. I was always surprised by that. If it were my nightmare, I would scream.

  This was a scene that I’d witnessed many times, and, yet, I never knew how to handle it. It got under my skin, but for all the wrong reasons. This time, it seemed worse for her though, and I pulled her back against me. I whispered in her ear, reassuring her that I was here and it was just a nightmare. Her eyes flickered open, and the tears that fell from the corners pulled at me a little.

  It was another first for me.

  I turned her so that she was facing me and brushed the hair away from her face. I traced her eyebrows with my thumbs and then wiped the tears away. Before I could stop myself, I asked, “What is it, Allie Cat?”

  She paused and chewed on her lip. “I need to tell you something,” she said. This, too, came out as a whisper. “It’s bad, Adam. And after I tell you, you may not want me any more.”

  Even though I knew what she needed to hear, I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t tell her that whatever she had to say wouldn’t make a difference. I knew of a few things that would ruin us. I also couldn’t find the words to stop her. I’d always known it would come to this someday.

  She took a deep breath, and I steeled myself for her words and the inevitable fallout. “When I was in high school, I was in an accident.”

  I kept the expression on my face steady even though I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. An accident was something unfortunate that happened to you not because of you. She was still talking.

  “ ... raining out, and I was in a hurry to get home. I was distracted, and I jumped the curb and hit a tree. I was thrown from the car and suffered a head injury among other things. That’s what the dream is about.”

  She looked at me, wanting me to say something. I wracked my brain, but I still had nothing.

  “I was in a coma for six weeks. After I came out of it, I tried to remember the accident, but I just couldn’t. My parents made me go to counseling for a while to see if I could get that day back, but nothing came ... except the dream ... and it was very vague. After thousands of dollars worth of therapy, the dream stopped.”

  She took a deep breath. “And then, a few months ago, I started having it again. Now, I seem to have it all the time, and every time it’s worse. I’d thought that it would be good to know ... to remember that day, but it’s not. It’s awful.”

  She was crying. I should touch her. That’s what a normal boyfriend would do, but my body had gone rigid as soon as she’d said ‘accident.’ I couldn’t move, and I absolutely could not touch her right now. I was not a normal boyfriend.

  “How does this affect us, Allie?” I asked. Even to my ears, it sounded harsh and wrong.

  She looked stricken, but wiped her eyes. “Well, I told you I was injured. When I was thrown from the car, I hit something, and a piece of metal went through my stomach. When I woke up from the coma, I was healed, but they told me that certain parts of me were just too
broken to fix.”

  My head was about to explode. She was too broken to fix. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

  “What was too broken, Allie?”

  “Those pills that I take every morning ... they aren’t birth control pills. One is a hormone replacement pill. They had to do a hysterectomy.”

  She searched my eyes for my reaction. “I can’t ever have kids. It’s why I never dated anyone seriously before you. I knew that no one would want me once they found out.”

  She shook next to me and her tears turned into sobs. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Adam. Before you, I thought it didn’t matter. I told myself I didn’t want the husband, the kids, the picket fence, but ... now I don’t know what I want. I’m too messed up.” She shook her head, like it would help straighten out this mess.

  What she’d just told me ... this big revelation ... had no effect on me whatsoever. It didn’t matter at all. I asked the one question that did. “Was anyone else hurt in the accident, Allie?”

  She blinked at me and looked confused. “No. It was just me. I was alone in the car. Well, the tree took a beating, too.” She choked on something between a sob and a laugh.

  She was making jokes about the tree. I had reached my limit. I moved fast. I dug through my bag and found a clean shirt. I’d picked it up just for this trip. I had intended it to be funny, to make Allie laugh. At the moment, I didn’t care if she ever laughed again.

  She was perfectly still on the bed. I could feel her eyes on me, but she didn’t say a word. I threw the shirt over my head and slipped my feet into my sneakers. I unzipped the tent and didn’t pause to zip it back up behind me. She sucked in her breath behind me. I knew that she was about to fall apart again, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was fight or flight time.

  There was a hiking trail behind the community bathroom, and I headed that direction. Just as I passed the bathroom, Ethan sauntered out. “Hey, do you know what time it is?” he asked.