No Excuses

by Nikky Kaye

  I tilted my head back to look at him. “Is it ever hard for you, to see your brother and Evie like that?”

  His expression hardened, at least. “Like what?”

  “Together.” I searched for the right word. “Happy.”

  “Fucking like bunnies?”

  My cheeks heated. “No, more like… they have each other. That kind of intimacy with someone.”

  Jake disentangled himself and stood up from the edge of the bed. Looked down at me. “Annie, I can fuck someone anytime I want.”

  “That’s not what I mean.” I felt the cold return as he moved away. Pushing down the covers, I got on my knees on the bed and crawled closer to him. “Don’t you ever get lonely?”

  “Lonely,” he echoed.

  I couldn’t quite see his eyes; he was in silhouette from the light in the hallway outside the bedroom. He folded his arms over his chest, like he was ready for a fight. His chin bobbed up and down as his gaze slid over me.

  My tank top and panties were not the kind of armor I was used to doing battle in. And I was acutely aware that he was in his underwear too.

  Now that he was standing up and a little above me, the bulge in his briefs was conspicuous. Completely casual about it, he didn’t say anything as his cock hardened and grew.

  Like a primal, instinctive reaction, my belly squirmed and I felt myself dampen and loosen with arousal.

  “I’m lonely,” I confessed.

  God, it was hard to say that. But it was so goddamn true. Saying it out loud made me feel lonelier, if that was possible. I sighed, dropping back down to sit on my heels, my hands on my thighs. Nothing had changed by admitting it, other than feeling worse and making a fool out of myself—again.

  “Fuck, Annie.” Jake dropped his arms, his hands curling into fists at his side. His head lolled back and he sighed heavily.

  Yeah, fuck Annie.

  “You’re killing me, here.” He stepped toward the bed. “You know it’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not? Is it because of Evie?”

  He frowned. “What about Evie?”

  “Are you still in love with her?”

  His mouth opened, then closed. “What the fuck are you talking about? I was never in love with her.”

  Well, that didn’t make me feel any better.

  His frown deepened. “Not that it’s any of your business, but it was a… thing. We needed and wanted each other—at that time. That brief, fucking time. We were—are—adults.”

  “So am I. An adult, I mean. Unless you’re not attracted to me…” I only felt comfortable saying that, because I knew it wasn’t true.

  Even if it weren’t for the giant erection bobbing in front of my face, Jake was still a man. As a general rule, men didn’t usually turn down women falling at their feet.

  Then again, Jake was exceptional.

  He rubbed his hands over the short hair on his head. “I’m trying to be a gentleman, and you’re making it really hard.”

  I crawled over to him, my gaze fixed on his erection. “What if I don’t want you to be a gentleman?”

  It startled me when he cupped my chin. “Annie, I’m not a relationship kind of guy.”

  I recoiled. “Did I ask for a ring? It could just be… I don’t know, a pity fuck.”

  Sayonara, self-esteem. It was nice knowing you. I couldn’t believe that I was trying to convince him. I had a stalker, for God’s sakes! I wasn’t unappealing, or desperate. I was just very, very turned on.

  Jake put his knee on the bed and dropped down over me. I reared back, falling on my ass and bracing myself on my elbows underneath him.

  “You are not a pity fuck.” His eyes—his whole body—blazed, but he didn’t touch me. “You deserve to be worshipped. You should have every inch of your body sucked on like a candy cane. But I’m not the guy to do it.”

  I spread my legs to cradle him as he hovered over me then craned my neck up to kiss the bristle of beard under his jaw.

  “Annie…” His muscles tensed under my mouth as our bodies made contact.

  “I think.” I tasted my way down his neck. “You are.” Nipped at his throbbing carotid artery. “The perfect person to do it.”

  His plank position sagged, until his hard, hot cock pressed against the damp crotch of my panties. We both groaned.

  “Jesus,” he breathed, dropping his face into the curve between my neck and shoulder. “I was wrong. You are a ninja.”

  “Show me,” I whispered into his ear. “Show me how I should be fucked, because your fingers weren’t enough. I need you to fill me, Jake.” Until there was no room in my head for fear or anxiety or self-doubt. Until I felt truly safe.

  There was something irresistible about knowing I could give up control with him. I wouldn’t have to be strong all the time; he could hold me up and take care of me. I’d never had that, and the thought was intoxicating.

  His lips found my earlobe, sending ticklish sparks down my neck. Slowly he began rocking against me, every nudge making me wet with wanting him.

  “I am not in love with Evie,” he said firmly.

  I nodded. “I believe you.” Now.

  “I don’t fall in love.”

  Something squeezed inside me. “I believe you. Neither do I.” Never had, never would. I just wanted… comfort, connection, and to come with another person—for once.

  Tingling sensations spread over my skin with every brush of his chest against mine. I tucked my feet around him, luxuriating in the crispness of the hair on his legs against my inner thighs.

  He rose up, his heavy-lidded gaze searching mine. “This would just be us fucking, not falling in love.”

  “Fine.”

  “I won’t be gentle.” When I stilled, he clarified, “I won’t treat you like glass. You’re the one who attacked me in the dark, remember? You can take it.”

  “Got it.” I nodded again. “Must fuck back.” I wriggled against him, trying to get him to rub right there.

  Jake’s grin transformed his face. “Okay, then, Annie.”

  I barely had time to inhale before he captured my mouth in a devastatingly generous kiss. He took my breath, and in return gave me the strength to beg for more.

  “Soon,” he promised when I whimpered. After another sweep of his lips against mine, he rose up on his knees and shoved down the waistband of his briefs. He curled his fingers in the damp crotch of my panties, pulling them to the side.

  Was he going to enter me… right now?

  “Foreplay?” I panted.

  “What the hell do you think we’ve been doing?” he asked me, dipping his first two fingers into my core.

  “Ungh!” I arched my back. “I said your fingers weren’t enough!”

  “Oh, we’re just getting started.” With a smirk, he twisted his hands on either side of the seam of my underwear and ripped.

  My mouth fell open. “I could have just taken them off, you know.”

  “Waste of time.” He scooted back a few inches and dropped his chest to the bed between my legs.

  I liked those panties. Damn. “Maybe those had sentimental value.” I pouted.

  “Seriously?” He snorted. “They’re disposable.”

  “My underwear?” Where the hell did he think I shopped?

  “Sentimental values. Besides, I think that turned you on,” he guessed, his eyebrow lifting.

  It sure did. The sight of his head between my legs made me breathless.

  I moaned when he slid his thumb into me. I writhed when he tried to see how many fingers he could fit in me at once. His left hand splayed over my belly, while his right hand spread me open to expose my clit. And I almost began to sob when he finally took me in his mouth.

  “Oh fuck! Jake!”

  His tongue slid over me, lapping and curling and tracing at the tip. He may not have treated me like glass, but he fulfilled his promise to suck me like a piece of candy.

  “When was the last time someone ate you out, Annie?”

  I tossed my
head from side to side on the bed, not knowing. Not caring.

  “Answer me,” he demanded, lashing at a particularly sensitive spot.

  Looking down at him and past the jiggling of my breasts, I was honest. “Never? Definitely not like this.” He was making me forget my own name, much less any past, polite, pathetic encounters.

  “Damn straight,” he muttered. “You taste so fucking good. Like butterscotch.” He grinned up at me, his mouth and chin shiny from my juices.

  His palm left my stomach. Before I could react, he wedged his hands under the curve of my butt cheeks and hauled me to his mouth. He drank from me greedily—his lips, tongue, teeth and nose pressing into places that had never been treated with so much… avarice.

  I felt like a cartoon character being electrocuted—all my bones stiff and disjointed, and an indefinable halo around my body. The shadow of his beard rasped over my raw nerve endings, followed by the liquid fire of his tongue.

  A ball of lightning rolled up in my belly, sending an expectant ache through my center.

  “Oh! Jake, I’m—”

  “I know. It’s okay. Let it go.”

  I barked out a laugh. At least he didn’t sing it. Lightheaded from anticipation, I floated up to the sky to find my climax. I felt like I was drifting away—away from my feelings, away from fear.

  As though he couldn’t bear to lose his tether on me, Jake clutched me in his hands, spreading me wider. His tongue dove into my pussy, his teeth fastened lightly on my clit, and his thumbs pressed together to gently nudge at the sensitive rear entrance. The combined sensations brought me back to earth.

  No longer the reluctant, guilty predator, he gleefully possessed me and made sure that I knew I was at his mercy. He gave and took in equal measure. He didn’t treat me like glass, but I sang and cracked like crystal nonetheless.

  I screamed. My ascent was subverted, like he’d tugged on the string of my balloon and brought me back down to the rough and raw reality of our fucking. He worked me over as I came—hard.

  And then I fell.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  JAKE

  I’d had a lot of new experiences in my life.

  As an orphan and foster kid.

  As an adopted brother to “Richie Rich.”

  As a military man.

  As a father.

  But I’d never had a woman sleep in my bed. Actually, since this was my guest bedroom, I still hadn’t.

  Yes! My streak held!

  I’d never been a good sleeper. A fractured childhood, nightmares, a lonely mansion and competitive adolescence, basic training, learning how to run a business—they all contributed to restless nights.

  It wasn’t until I woke up beside Annie that I realized I’d actually slept with her.

  Basically, we’d fucked ourselves into exhaustion. I had no clock in this bedroom, but the thin halo of light around the blinds probably meant it was early morning. So, I’d slept maybe three or four hours, which was usually enough for me.

  I could go work out. I could fuck around on my phone. I could do lots of things, but instead I stared at Annie.

  She was just so damn… interesting. Sure, she was beautiful, in an exotic, pocket-sized way. Cute, even. A human Tamagotchi pet.

  Shit, that was a bad example.

  But it wasn’t just her looks that captured my attention. Even the way she came fascinated me. It was like she needed my permission, even my command, to let the feelings take over. Then I became a selfish, jealous motherfucker and wanted to be part of every single second of her pleasure. After all, it was because of me, right?

  When she begged for my cock, it was a no-brainer. She’d needed me earlier, and I was only too happy to help her out with that. It took a lot for her to tell me that she was lonely; I knew just how that felt.

  Now I felt more confused than before.

  Sex was usually the end of my brief relationships—if you could even call them that—with women. The longest I’d spent with one woman was with Stella’s mom.

  On darker days I wondered where I’d be if I’d gotten out earlier. There wouldn’t be a bed down the hall that looked like it was stolen from a midget Medieval Times, at least. There were moments when I fantasized about that, then felt guilty as fuck for even imagining life without my little star.

  Becoming a father, even part-time, made me realize just how fucked up the world was. Yeah, foster care and the service didn’t do that. Not even knowing Dom and his Grandad prepared me for the surreal experience of parenting.

  Three years in, I was finally getting a grip on things—and Annie had gone and pried all my goddamn fingers apart.

  The woman dead to the world in front of me was a bundle of contradictions, like a ball of tangled rubber bands. I was pretty confident that she’d bounce if I dropped her, but fuck if I knew which way she’d go.

  I’d never before met a woman who made me want to ask so many questions.

  Usually the questions I asked hot women were precursors to getting them into bed. Where did you go to school, what’s your dream job, did you have a pet growing up—panty-dropping bullshit like that. Shallow, fake conversations to provide a thin veneer of social interaction before pulling out a strip of rubbers.

  Shit. Shit shit fuck.

  I’d forgotten a condom with Annie. My eyes narrowed at her, like it was her fault that I’d been irresponsible. I was the idiot. She’d still been coming, her tight walls still rippling from her orgasm, when I rose up and into her. I couldn’t blame her for my mistake, when she was completely dickmatized herself.

  She’d cried out, making me pause and second-guess myself, before digging her heels into my ass and pulling me into her. “Oh god, I’m so full!”

  I hadn’t wanted to hurt her with my generous cock but, well… I was a generous guy. “Am I hurting you, honey? You’re so fucking tight.”

  My whole soul felt like it was in a vise.

  “No, no. It’s fine,” she panted, her forehead furrowing as I slowly moved back and forth.

  My aching dick wanted to take her at her word. I’d managed to hang on while I was kissing her, eating her out. At one point I realized this was what middle-aged men on Viagra felt. I’d been fighting with my erection all fucking day—or at least it seemed that way.

  Now I was balls-deep in her heat, and I didn’t want to leave. “Annie, I want to fuck you so badly.” My hips jerked, making her moan.

  “Jacob Stone,” she said sternly—and breathlessly, “if you fuck me badly, I will never forgive you.”

  I chuckled then groaned when I felt her giggles on the inside. “Jesus, Annie. How many mind-blowing orgasms does one woman need?”

  She smiled. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

  “Is that a challenge?” When she bit her lip, I thrust a little deeper. Oh yeah. “Mission accepted.”

  And then I proceeded to fuck her brains out.

  It didn’t take long before I was yelling and arching my back as I shot into her.

  I waited for her to come first, of course. And second.

  But then I couldn’t wait any longer, and the coil of tension within me sprang open.

  I fell on my back beside her, breathless. Damn, she was still too far away. She was staring at the ceiling as I pulled her into my side.

  “Mind. Blown.” Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. It would have been really funny, if my brain didn’t go to other, dirtier places when I watched her purse her lips.

  Even now, fast asleep, her lips parted a little when she breathed. I wanted to lean over and test if the tip of my tongue would fit in that space, wanted to put my ear to her mouth to see if she was very, very quietly snoring.

  She sighed in her sleep, startling me. How long had I been staring at her? My phone buzzed, drawing my attention away from the woman in my bed—my guest bed.

  After a few words on the phone with the security desk downstairs, I exhaled heavily and slid out of bed. All I could find on the floor to put on were my discard
ed briefs, so I hurried to my bedroom. The rapping at the door nearly caused a tragic accident as I zipped up a pair of jeans.

  Jesus, I was jumpy.

  “Okay, okay,” I grumbled. Another series of knocks rattled through my nerves. I stalked through the living room and yanked open the door.

  “You know I’m here. Why do you keep knocking?”

  My ex lifted a penciled-in eyebrow. “I thought maybe you’d gone back to sleep.”

  “Oh, for fu—” I remembered the toddler nudging Sheila’s knee. “Fun’s sake. When I’m up, I’m up.”

  “I remember,” she said as Stella migrated from her mother’s leg to mine. Sheila’s gaze slid over my body, and I regretted not grabbing a shirt.

  “Daddy!”

  When I looked down at my daughter, the irritation rippling in my chest flattened out, like the sea after a storm. All that was left was bubbles from the violent waves and a vague sense of nausea. Even that dissipated when she smiled at me.

  “Hi, baby.” Automatically, I hauled her up on my hip. I knew she hated it when everyone spoke above her head. My little girl didn’t like being towered over.

  “You gotta stop picking her up all the time,” Sheila rebuked.

  I shrugged. It wasn’t the first time we’d had this exchange, and I couldn’t care less. I’d take my daughter in my arms whenever the fuck I wanted to.

  “What’s the deal?” I asked.

  “I had a job interview a few days ago, and they asked me to come in for the morning shift to shadow somebody.”

  “At dark o’clock?” Reflexively I swiveled toward the hallway, wondering if we’d woken up Annie. I didn’t hear anything. Good.

  “It’s with emergency dispatch. Nine-one-one.”

  I frowned. “Can you take that kind of job, with her?” I jerked my chin toward Stella. Her blonde curls tickled my jaw, smelling a little like honey. “That can be pretty shit—” Sheila glared. Right, the fucking swear jar. “Shifty hours. Shift work.”

  “I’ll figure it out.”

  Saying nothing, I reveled in the smell of my baby’s hair. “How long?”

  She shook her head as she dug into her giant tote bag. “Few hours, maybe? I’ll text you.”